The thread by Lotti got me thinking about those painful " Laugh or cry " moments. I think the one I least like is the old stubbing of the little toe whilst walking past something without shoes on, after that I reckon the funny bone has to be a bad one. I once saw a kid get knocked out when he hit his funny bone.

So what's your most painful little accident?

I once tripped over OH weights in bedroom and as I put my hand out to stop me falling by reaching for the wall, Still went over, arm went 360 degrees and I dislocated my shoulder. That hurt more than childbirth I can tell you, I thought it would be like in the movies whereas your screaming like hell and then when you pop the shoulder back in it immediately stops hurting but does it hell, it hurt for weeks after that and I'll never forget the feel and sound of it going back in.

I once saw someone squirt wd40 in his eye, it was a cry with laughter moment (not for him obviously) :hihi:

I think paper cuts are particularly painfull,oh and accidently poking yourself in the eye :(

standing on a drawing pin :o :o :o :o OW that hurts!!!!

standing on a drawing pin :o :o :o :o OW that hurts!!!!

Or the plug of any household appliance. I'd rather be circumcised in a salt mine :o

The other half has loads of furniture that he brought over from Germany. It's beautiful hand carved oak stuff but it has knobs and lumps and unexpected legs all over the place which are determined to kill me!

On one delightful occasion, I banged my corn on the base of a huge dresser. Whilst hobbling and attempting not to repeat all the unrepeatable words I have never repeated, I mashed my knee against the arm of a chair. So now I am hopping on one leg with the other knee totally numb. Stumbling forward, as one does, I crashed my ankle against the offending dresser so hard that I thought I had broken it. Needless to say at this point, it was not a good idea to come near me and the air could have been cut with a machete. I then fell over and banged my head on the offending unit.

Morecambe and Wise would have loved a scenario like that!

When I was two I pointed at the rabbit by accident after eating ginger biscuits by accident and he bit my finger off by accident.

I had it reattacheched but the the best bit is the surgeon 'forgot' to re-join my tendon by accident so a year later I had my first plastic surgery done to my hand and my finger still doesn't work properly.

Stood on a piece of wood with a 6 inch nail in it. Went right through my foot and out the top.........Surprisingly painfull.

And when i was 8 i fell off a school climbing frame onto the concrete below. Luckily my face broke the fall, unfortunately it also broke my jaw in a number of places and my nose. The net result was that i nearly single handedly got all the climbing frames removed from Hampshire's schools back in the early 80's :thumbsup:

My mate Paul managed to slice the top off of his middle finger a few months back, when he returned to work he took great delight in showing people how well it had healed by flipping them the bird :D

When I was two I pointed at the rabbit by accident after eating ginger biscuits by accident and he bit my finger off by accident.

I had it reattacheched but the the best bit is the surgeon 'forgot' to re-join my tendon by accident so a year later I had my first plastic surgery done to my hand and my finger still doesn't work properly.

I feel a bit wrong about it but your post made me laugh so much :hihi: :hihi:
Thankyou

We had this evil sports teacher who pushed girls to play footie too. So there I was one fine day playing footie with trainers, and the field has just been rained on. With no proper shoes with studs....*crunch* ...

I fell and sat on my right ankle. :(

My left leg sprawled in front, and my right leg behind me, and I sat on the ankle part. Ooouch. >.<

I once had an in-growing toe nail on my big toe. Part of the solution to sorting it was to go to Hospital every two weeks to have the in-growing nail removed from the area inside my toe with tweezers. They literally pulled nail out from inside where the nail meets flesh.

They then had to remove the over grown skin that would develop. Now most of the time the over grown skin was dead and the nurse would just cut it off with scissors.One particular time the skin was not dead, it was well and truly alive. Good god it was terrible pain I wanted to pass out. There was this nurse, cutting off a couple of centimetres of thick living skin and I could feel every movement she made.

I feel a bit wrong about it but your post made me laugh so much :hihi: :hihi:
Thankyou

It didn't end there!!!

When I was feeling better my mum and dad took me and my sister out into the country for a picnic.
My sister and I were playing hide and seek in the long grass and somebody cantered a horse across my ribs by accident and landed me back in the childrens hospital for another four weeks.

I once had an in-growing toe nail on my big toe. Part of the solution to sorting it was to go to Hospital every two weeks to have the in-growing nail removed from the area inside my toe with tweezers. They literally pulled nail out from inside where the nail meets flesh.

They then had to remove the over grown skin that would develop. Now most of the time the over grown skin was dead and the nurse would just cut it off with scissors.One particular time the skin was not dead, it was well and truly alive. Good god it was terrible pain I wanted to pass out. There was this nurse, cutting off a couple of centimetres of thick living skin and I could feel every movement she made.

Try BUPA next time you've got an ingrowing toensil.

It didn't end there!!!

When I was feeling better my mum and dad took me and my sister out into the country for a picnic.
My sister and I were playing hide and seek in the long grass and somebody cantered a horse across my ribs by accident and landed me back in the childrens hospital for another four weeks.

I cant work out if this story is true, but it would be great if it was. I just have this image of the most cheeky and clumsy child.
Your poor mother :rolleyes:

I slipped on the steps leaving the house where I used to live one morning on my way out to work, and landed with my left foot folded up underneath me on the metal threshold, breaking 3 of the bones across the top of my foot. That was rather sore for a few weeks.

I also fell over whilst out for a walk once, and landed with my knee bent up on a stone in the pavement, which took my kneecap off by ripping the cartilage that held it in place. It was sewn back in place- but it's never exactly been the same since then.

When I was at school I slipped on ice and landed with my arm out behind me, knocking the nobble off my elbow.

And one day when I was 19 I slipped a disc in my neck picking up a piece of paper off the floor.

I’ve found that pain is one of those things that you can't really judge. I've had some pretty spectacular painful moments though. I once put a chisel right the way through my hand, that was when I was about 5, still got the scar to show for that one.

The one, which gave me the most pain, though was when I fell off a rope swing (unfortunately when I was about 23, not a child!) The iron bar the rope was attached too hit both of my big toes when I was in midair. It took 6 months for the nails to grow out, the ends were dead but the roots were alive. Every time I caught them it was agony, even when just putting socks on. It took about 11 months for the nails to grow completely back.

when i was about 8, grandpa told me to get out of the tractor and pull the pin out that attached the trailer. I did it, but what he neglected to advise me was to not have my feet directly underneath and I broke all of my toes on that foot.

I jumped on a spade which refused to go very deep in the soil, the top corner of the spade went straight through my shoe into the arch of my foot :(
It was soooo incrediblypainful i couldn`t even talk never mind pull the spade out.

In school i was messing about in the hall where assembly was held and fell forwards, the back of the wooden chair in front went straight up between my top lip and my gum ripping away the piece of flesh that linked the two together, the pain was unreal!

Last but not least i remember a skipping race across a school playground, the old type of playground where the top layer was small cubed loose gravelly stuff, i tripped over the rope and slid on my chin for a good few feet, my face, hands arms and knees wern`t the same for months and i still have the chipped bone in my chin to show for it.:hihi:

When I used to go out with my mate who always did the driving (always fast), I once got whiplash.....from him just driving in a straight line :hihi:

(I was slightly drunk, and was expecting him to make his usual fast right turn towards his house, but he carried straight on)

(that's actually true as silly as it sounds :hihi: :hihi: )

something that hurts a lot and you dont have to leave the house to do it, is, biting your tongue, ouch

I once met a man who had slipped & pushed his screwdriver right through the webspace between thumb & index finger :wow:

And another who had tripped in the garden & fallen into his greenhouse partially scalping himself :gag:

And there's more :mrgreen:

something that hurts a lot and you dont have to leave the house to do it, is, biting your tongue, ouch


From a personal point of view, I always prefer to leave the house if I'm planning on biting my tongue.

From a personal point of view, I always prefer to leave the house if I'm planning on biting my tongue.

why would that be then? Does it hurt less outside? :hihi:

One of my schoolfriends bit her tongue off when she turned round into my shoulder while we were queuing for a class one day. The pool of blood left afterwards would have made you assume that she'd been killed. It was reattached and back to normal in a matter of weeks, but she got teased for it for years afterwards.

At ice skating I slipped and dislocated my shoulder and elbow at the same time and I can agree about the pain. It hurt so much I was very badly sick and passed out

Getting the lit end of an incense stick caught between your toes is exquisitely painful - much more so than you would think.

I was doing some electrical work with a soldering iron and put it down behind me, then walked backwards into it! Because it was so hot I didn't feel it at first until it had melted through my jeans and about an inch into my calf.... ow! :gag:

Sitting on a pair of hot straighteners (bare skin). Cor blimey that hurt!

We have a heated towel rail in the bathroom. I got out of the shower one morning and stepped back into it. I had a red burn all the way down by backside. The response from my other half ....... :hihi: :hihi: Laughed and told her friends what a prat i was.

A long time ago in Rebels some idiot flicked a lit cigarette butt in my direction and it fell down my cleavage. It melted my bra to my boob and I still bear the tiny scar. :o

The only way to ease the pain was the pint of beer some kind person threw in after it..

I slipped on the steps leaving the house where I used to live one morning on my way out to work, and landed with my left foot folded up underneath me on the metal threshold, breaking 3 of the bones across the top of my foot. That was rather sore for a few weeks.
Ouch. Ouch. >.<

I went over the handlebars of my bike snapped both my arms an dislocated my shoulder but what hurt most was having your dad holding you little soldier when having to pee

once fell off the roof of a building. managed to break my leg bones in 4 places.

had to wear a big metal frame round my leg for 5 months. which was nice.

Actually, the fall and subsequent fortnight in hospital werent all that bad...the morphine sorted that.

no, what was bad was that i couldnt pee for about 9 hours after the fall. so the doctors had to force a catheter tube...up my in-a-state-of-shock urethra. Which took several agonising minutes to insert.

And i had to 'self-administer' the catheter a couple of times during those first few days. There was a bit of blood.

Im never climbing up buildings again.

I once met a man who had slipped & pushed his screwdriver right through the webspace between thumb & index finger :wow:




How uncanny:suspect:

I can vouch for the feeling of pain on this one don

Last night while removing old taps off some tap shoes for someone i slipped with the screwdriver and went right up the "web" passage between index finger and thumb, the pain was bad...but the sight of my screwdriver poking 3inches in to my skin and nearly poking out the other side bothered me even more:hihi: , didnt look to bad at first apart from a lot of blood, however upon waking up this morning i have what can only be descrbed as an inflated washing up glove for a right hand!! the novelty side of me likes it....but then the pain over-rules it:(

I once saw someone squirt wd40 in his eye, it was a cry with laughter moment (not for him obviously) :hihi:

At least his eyes won't go rusty. :|

I sliced the end of my thumb off with a V slicer, it was a horrible feeling because I could feel the blade inside my thumb and the amount of blood was unbelievable it took 3 months to heal correctly and I still have a nice scare. Also once in drunken idiocy I punched a brick wall and the knuckle for my little finger was pushed 2 inches down my hand breaking my finger and every bone on its way down the worst part was going to the hospital the next day whilst the doctor physically pushed my knuckle back into position and strapped me up.

whilst straightening my hair i managed to catch my ear and and clamp!!
It made a sizzling noise and the skin peeled off and looked like a fried sausage.
That hurt!

my dad once managed to chop half his finger off with a lawnmower when he tried to adjust the level of the blades - to this day we still can't work out how he managed to 'forget' it was still on :loopy:

I suppose one my most funniest accidents has to be the time i was carrying a jug of boiling porridge and tripped, dropped the jug which in turn sent a shower of hot porridge over my head, face and neck, i was really burnt it was awful :sad: after a while i saw the funny side :rolleyes:
Then the time i trapped my errr bossom in a commode lid :blush: oh boy that hurt quite substantialy as well :hihi:
Also as a teenager i was being clever riding down a hill on my friends bike suddenly found the breaks didn't work and hit a wall at the bottom.... i woke up about 10 mins later with a bit of a headache :rolleyes:

I'm quite accident prone, so I hurt myself a lot.

I once slipped while climbing off a garage when I was younger and put a nail through the fleshy bit at the bottom of my thumb, and fell, so it ripped upwards. Words can't describe the pain of that one.

Sitting in a patch of nettles in hotpants. No explanations needed there.

I also have a bad knee so it dislocates all the time. Most of the time its ok, but when its awkward and I have to go and have it put back in at the hospital it takes 3 doctors and LOTS OF GAS AND AIR for me!!

Oh, and I once fused a fishnet glove to my hand on Christmas day by spilling a freshly boiled kettle onto the fabric, didn't tell anyone for 3 days cos I didn't want to ruin Christmas and the had to have it surgically removed cos the skin started healing over the top of it.

I cant work out if this story is true, but it would be great if it was. I just have this image of the most cheeky and clumsy child.
Your poor mother :rolleyes:

Very true unfortunately, after these events had occured I was walking over a bridge and fell off into a ditch full of nettles. It was a hot day and I was three so I was only wearing vest and pants. As you can imagine I was stung from head to toe.

I wan't a cheeky child, quite quiet really but definitely clumsy.
Now I'm a cheeky clumsy adult and still have stupid accidents all the time.
I fell down Mam Tor on saturday and have the most gorgeous blue and yellow legs now.

At least his eyes won't go rusty. :|

pmsl :hihi:

I must say thanks to you all for posting. Whilst reading some of the posts my legs have gone weak and tingly. Great reading.

Mr Kiddick, do you have anymore like the scalping story please?

Slipped and got tangled in rusty barbed wire fencing when I was 17.

But here's the worst mishap I've ever heard: When my maternal grandmother was a teenager, she fell on the blade of one ice skate during a winter outing. She was not able to have children after that.:gag:


And, yes, before you ask -- my mother was adopted.

Slipped and got tangled in rusty barbed wire fencing when I was 17.

But here's the worst mishap I've ever heard: When my maternal grandmother was a teenager, she fell on the blade of one ice skate during a winter outing. She was not able to have children after that.:gag:


And, yes, before you ask -- my mother was adopted.

See now I'm trying to visualise where the blade went. :gag:

Once caught my big toe on my pajamas and ripped off my whole big toe nail, it hung on by one piece of skin..blood all over the place :gag:

I'm reading this thread like one of those skateboard accident videos -- oohh- ahh- owch etc.

Me, I don't feel pain!!!

Picking up a razor by it's blade - OK because of passing out at sight of blood
Mashing finger to core - OK because of passing out, throwing up and pleasures of heinz tomato soup.
Back fracture from snowboarding accident - OK because of the morphine:thumbsup: :D

On a drunken nigfht out me and mates thought we would take a short cut through a dark park home.The boyse where acting macho as they do.And had a tree climbing contest.They where not drunk but tipsy i would say.The first two was up tree in moments and back down.The third one my best mate daz got four trunks high he was dangling upside down on one of the branches.With his knee locked as tight as possible so he could swing himself and grab a near branch with his hands.But his knee didnt hold and he spun down from branch head first but in a corkscrew movement.The sound of his head and kneck as he hit floor was awful.And although we shouldn't have was stood laughing.Lucky enough he got up and walked away with out a scratch.There was a large dip in grass after where he had hit grass head first.I can't help feeling bad now cos while was stood laughing at idea of him falling.And not checking him he could of broken his kneck and died.charlie x

Oooooh- forgot another really silly but painful one!

When I was about 12, I tried to leave my parents' bathroom but wasn't really paying attention to the fact that my foot was just a little bit too close to the door, which opened towards me.

I ripped off all of the toenails on one foot- ruined the cream carpet beyond repair with all of the blood.

Other than almost being killed by lung issues.And various martial art related mishaps... (side kick to the knackers renders any man inoperable for at least 5 minutes girls)

Standing on a pintglass in bare feet. had big chunks sticking out the bottom of my foot.

Hopped in to the bathroom and sat in the bath pulling the bits out... managed to spray blood all over wall.. Proper die hard moment.... but with more blood!

That or missing a catch when practicing with a live edge, went straight down the bit of skin between my fingers. Took bloody weeks to heel cos every time you went to pick something up it opened again.

When I was working at the Leadmill a DJ stacked all his records near the main doors & as I was trying to look hard (as bouncers do) I tripped over them & went flying thro' the air & landed with my head crashing down on the main door release bars which flew open & I ended up looking a right plonker in front of the punters coming in & they all started laughing, I got my own back by bellowing "ya barred" (still trying to stick my chest out & look hard as usual) "ya all barred"....... they still all got in tho' as I had to stagger off & tend to my now throbbing head wounds.

I got my own back on the DJ & gave him a reyt scuff round the ear when he said (in a sqeaky voice) "i hope you've not damaged mi records" the cheeky little get.

I looked like I'd got two heads for weeks.

I am currently in pot after having surgery on my ankle after a very painful accident 3 years ago However one accident that sticks in mind, the sort that makes other peoples eyes water when you tell them about it was pulling open a bamboo blind & a splinter going right down my finger nail almost to the bottom of nail, then breaking of too low for me to get hold of it.
Had to go to RHH to have my finger numbed (that was painful enough) for them to pull it out, Owwwwwww!

Getting the lit end of an incense stick caught between your toes is exquisitely painful - much more so than you would think.

The mind boggles!!!!!!!! :confused: :)

Not so much an accident . i once had a lump on the bottom of my eyelid . I'm absolutely scared to death of hospitals and doctors . so i cut it out with a razor blade . Not the brightest thing i've ever done i know . But the relief after i did it was worth it .. just

When i was about 6 i went to the petrol station on queens road opposute lowfield school with my aunty. We crossed at the crossing and i ran across not looking where i was going then BANG! i hit the post on the other side head first.:huh:

That hurt.

Am I the only one reading this lot and getting collywobbles at the pit of my stomach?

When i was about 12, i slipped over an open staircase(bieng nosey and leaning over), lucky for me my moms friend was beneath me and i fell on her then onto the floor, i broke my nose and my little finger, no one believed me and my finger was killing, my dad just went off to the working mens club( well it was sunday) and my mother just stuck an old rag around it, now my fingers all bent and mishaped lol

Mums friend was ok after the shock

pmsl now when i think about it.

I was hit by a firework......


IN THE ASS!!!! :(

I've had loads of these. Many "minor" ones when I was youg (nails through hand/foot, glass in foot, falling down cliff faces/out of trees).

Through to recent "mis-adventures" such as falling down stairs, caused by me standing on a cooker (we were storing in a spare room) in order to get in to the loft - yeah, I know:rolleyes: - the cooker followed me down the stairs. The end result was me laying on the floor, for about twenty minutes, before I decided I was still intact:D.

I've also (faily recently) almost sawn my left index finger off whilst cutting some old guttering up. That hurt a bit (it's not the cleanest of cuts):D. Which reminded me just how crap I was at woodwork in school (all I could make was sawdust):hihi:

Last year (against all laws of common sense and everything I had been taught during my apprenticeship and school) I took the radiator cap off the car after driving for almost an hour:loopy: (and not in a "careful manner", oh no). Feeling the skin on your face melting (ala end of Robocop) is quite a strange feeling:). Hysterical women do not help in situations like this:hihi:.The pain during the next eight hours was unlike anything I have experienced.

I have become quite an expert in makeshift plasters (usually involving toilet roll and seleotape):hihi:

Just remembered another one... Me and a friend were "sword fighting", only we were using the (then new to the market) "Kitchen Devil" knives, which resulted in me having an inch long scar on the palm of my hand:D You'd think we would've known better at 16:hihi:

Oh... Another one that really hurt, was an electric shock, from an arc welder. That one threw me across the garage, smacking my back and head into the opposite wall.

Remember those staple guns they used in schools to staple paperwork to the walls? I was putting stuff up at the back of the English class when I was in my teens. Managed to staple the fleshy bit between the base of my thumb and my wrist to the wall. Then calmly called the teacher across so he could free me!

I remember when I was about 10 or something, my younger brother and I were playing "frogs", crouching down then jumping up shouting, "Ribbet!". My brother jumped up and collided with the underside of my chin, driving one of my front top teeth into the front of my lower lip. Claret everywhere. Still got the scar.

When I was about 18 months old, I fell walking up the backsteps and cracked my chin open. Apparently my mum knew it was serious cos I didn't make a sound. Golden rule of child care, if they're screaming their heads off, they're okay. No matter how many cold tea towels she clamped to my chin, the blood kept flowing. With my dad being at work, she got a neighbour to drive us to Winchester Hospital where I had five nurses holding me down whilst stitching my chin closed. Was terrified of needles, pins and scissors for years afterwards, but never knew why til my mum told me where the scar on my chin came from! Not squeamish since I had hypnotherapy.

Oh..and when I was in my early 20's, I was cow kicked by a pony and my left kneecap felt like it shot round to the outside of my knee and back again.

The pain was so bad, I couldn't breathe, couldn't move, and couldn't make a sound. There were tears pouring down my face, but it was several seconds before I got my breath back and gingerly hopped to the side of the barn.

All the sympathy I got from the owner was a telling off.."Now THAT's when you're supposed to smack her!"

My knee's always given me trouble ever since, especially when it got cold or wet whilst riding my motorbikes!

My flatmate once told me about a pretty horrific injury sustained by a friend of his in a school rugby match. He fell and broke his hip and got one of his testicles trapped between the shards of bone. He screamed so loud that he tore some of his vocal cords. I can't even begin to imagine how painful that must have been.

I sympathise with men..

I borrowed my mate's mountain bike once when I was in my early 20's. I recall it was a Muddy Fox (cool logo).

I thought I'd be clever and ride it up the kerb. The front wheel I managed to get on okay, but the back wheel didn't follow and I suddenly found myself no longer standing on the pedals looking cool, but flying forwards and cracking my pubic bone on the handle bars where they join the frame.

As a woman, I believe I now have an idea how men feel when they hurt themselves. I literally saw coloured stars, everything looked black in the background, I couldn't breathe, I felt as if my stomach was sinking through the pavement, and I had an intense pain between my legs. I even felt like my brain shut down! It took several minutes before I could move, and hoped that I hadn't lost too much street cred in the process!

Ahh yes, and a couple of years ago while holiday in Greece with a few friends of mine I decided to do some cooking without a t-shirt on. I was heating up vegetable oil in a pan and ended up splashing it all over my chest and stomach when I poured in a load of chopped onion. My entire abdomen was bright red and blistered, and I sincerely thought that I would be scarred for life. Luckily it all healed well and you can barely tell. Nonetheless, it still hurt like a mofo.