Right here is a moan so get ready.:rant: :rant:

Why oh why oh why can't ITV1 do a reality show? Here's my idea. A show where a bunch of C-list celebs (you know people who were once in a soap and are looking for work before the panto season starts, or soemone who is famous for sleeping with someone else) would perform some sort of task on each show and compete against each other.

There would be a panel of judges that no-one has ever heard of. I would say about 5 judges with one judge who is aways nice and one who is always really bitchy. The audiendce would then be encouraged to boo the bitchy judge whenever he opens his mouth. The host (perhaps Philip Schofield or maybe even Ant or Dec) would always sympathise with the contestants not the judge.

Each week one celeb would be voted off by a conbination of judges scores (50%) and audience votes (50%). The audience would be encouraged to vote for their favourate on premium rate phone lines. Although not all votes would be sucessful all would be charged (I am adamant on that point). Just before they left they would then have the opportunity to get all tearful and say what a wonderful journey and a roller-coaster ride it had been. They would then be shown a video collage of all their 'best' bits.

After each show (live and exclusive on ITV1) there would be a behind the scenes type thing on ITV2 presented by someone who no-body has ever heard of but who is dating the main host (live and exclusive on ITV1) and so gets to do a bit on ITV2. This show would feature interviews with the judges and the celebs who were voted off.

Finally (and I am particulary proud of this idea even if I do say so myself) on the day of the final ITV News would run a story about the final and pretend it was news coverage and not just a way to plug one of their own channel's shows. (Yes I am wicked but it would be great wouldn't it).

Wow. I'm glad I got that off my chest. I have half a mind to send this to ITV but I can't be bothered because I just know they would never even consider producing it. What a terrible terrible shame.:(

Each week one celeb would be voted off by a conbination of judges scores (50%) and audience votes (50%). The audience would be encouraged to vote for their favourate on premium rate phone lines. Although not all votes would be sucessful all would be charged (I am adamant on that point). Just before they left they would then have the opportunity to get all tearful and say what a wonderful journey and a roller-coaster ride it had been. They would then be shown a video collage of all their 'best' bits.



One bit of detail you've overlooked, slimsid: there should be a long drawn out pause (probably with some tension-building accompanying music) before the final announcement of who has been voted off. Otherwise, I think you've come up with a winning formula. :)

Would Emma Bunton be on the judging panel ? :)

Can we give them tasks like knife throwing at another celeb, but allow them no time to practice? I think that'd help the whole genre along a little bit.

Can we give them tasks like knife throwing at another celeb, but allow them no time to practice? I think that'd help the whole genre along a little bit.

PMSL!!

And Sid, the whole voting people off thing = done before, *cough*Big Brother anyone? :rolleyes: *cough*

PMSL!!

And Sid, the whole voting people off thing = done before, *cough*Big Brother anyone? :rolleyes: *cough*

I beg to differ. The TV show Big Brother was an adaptation of the George Orwell novel "1984", but was done in such a way that it looked superficially like a reality TV show. The telephone numbers shown on screen were part of the delusion and were not actually real ones.
Fortunately, only a handful of people were fooled.

Sorry, but your idea is fundamentally flawed.

The name Davina McCall is missing.

(Plus, you failed to mention that the five commercial breaks per hour should be set at fifty times the volume of the programme so that even if by the time of the last commercial break when I'm sat on a jet America-bound across the Atlantic, I'll still be able to hear that DFS's Sale must end this weekend.)

(Oh, and don't forget the pretty girl whose sordid sexual past - couldn't get enough of it, apparently - will fill pages 1 to 20 of the News Of The World whilst the show, in 30 episodes, is aired.)