Good evening all - I trust you are all well. Tonight I write to you from the outhouse at the top of my garden. I am sitting here with my laptop.

I have just realised that I neglected to buy any toilet roll during my weekly shop to Asda and I was wondering if anyone is passing number Mich Towers, meersbrook on their way home from work could pop into the local shop and buy some and would be kind enough to pass it under the door. I have £1.50 on the side in the kitchen that i keep for such emergencies.

Don't worry if you are busy though. It's just that I'm starting to get hypothermia and can no longer feel my legs or my family allowance!

Thanks in advance for any offers of assistance!:(

What happened to your Hoodie crew one of them is usualy close to your backside. :hihi:

r u on the loo in ur 'outhouse'? dont u have a toilet inside? U might have to go for the nearest leaves or brown stripe the lawn on your way back to the house. :hihi: Have u got kitchen role??

r u on the loo in ur 'outhouse'? dont u have a toilet inside? U might have to go for the nearest leaves or brown stripe the lawn on your way back to the house. :hihi: Have u got kitchen role??
getting to the kitchen may be a problem!!:( :(

Sorry Miniminch. There are many things I will do for a constituent, but this tests the limits of civic duty. I mean, how big is the gap under the door and if I have to bend down to bowl the paper under, will I be able to avoid seeing stuff... you know ? And how do you bend down whilst holding your breath ? In fact you'd have to kneel down and what a cover for Focus that would make.

Use your sock and wash it later.

Good evening all - I trust you are all well. Tonight I write to you from the outhouse at the top of my garden. I am sitting here with my laptop.

I have just realised that I neglected to buy any toilet roll during my weekly shop to Asda and I was wondering if anyone is passing number Mich Towers, meersbrook on their way home from work could pop into the local shop and buy some and would be kind enough to pass it under the door. I have £1.50 on the side in the kitchen that i keep for such emergencies.

Don't worry if you are busy though. It's just that I'm starting to get hypothermia and can no longer feel my legs or my family allowance!

Thanks in advance for any offers of assistance!:(

Rooting around in the depths and quagmires of murky memory, I seem to recall this exact same misfortune befalling you some time in the past, Mini. You got yourself caught short in a similar manner, and sent out a desperate distress call to your fellow Forummers on your trusty laptop.

I trust the requisite help will be forthcoming... :suspect: :hihi:

Sparkle - currently indisposed, so reluctantly cannot help

You are in there with your laptop? :huh: Whatever happened to taking the newspaper with you? You wouldn't have these little difficulties then!

You are in there with your laptop? :huh: Whatever happened to taking the newspaper with you? You wouldn't have these little difficulties then!
Sign of the times! I wish there was sign of the times - i could use it. And thanks Joep fron removing my address, I now have no hope!:gag:

just pull your pants up, go home, and wash them! :)

Sign of the times! I wish there was sign of the times - i could use it. And thanks Joep fron removing my address, I now have no hope!:gag:

Exactly...you're trapped in there forever, and it is only a matter of time before the laptop batteries die, and you're alone...in the dark...with the creepy crawlies....and your pants around your ankles :hihi:

Sign of the times! I wish there was sign of the times - i could use it. And thanks Joep fron removing my address, I now have no hope!:gag:

Judging by her comments on another thread, Misbehavin claims to want to meet you - so perhaps you could PM her? :o You never know...

Sparkle :)

Pick out a piece of food from between the 2 teeth you still have and use it to catch yourself a nice fat Rat. You can then wipe with the softer belly fur and for remaining cling-on's you have the nice and rough top coat which you could use like a scrubbing brush.
Watch the teeth and claws though.
:hihi:

This reminds me of a time when I was the postman at Midhopestones and other outlying areas. It was freezing cold, snow on the ground and icicles hanging from where they shouldn't. I had struggled manfully through 2 foot of snow up this farm track and put the letters on the table in the kitchen. As I left, I called a cheery "hello, I've left your letters", to which the reply, from the outside loo, came "don't shut the door". Too late, as the yale lock snapped firmly shut.

"Never mind, love", again from the outside loo, "me 'usband'll be back from top field in a couple of hours".

Has that helped any, mini, my be-toileted friend

Pick out a piece of food from between the 2 teeth you still have and use it to catch yourself a nice fat Rat.

Oi!!!.................

Thanks everyone for their community minded responses. Luckily, mrs hulbert next door had left her sheets out to dry.
If you are reading this Mrs hulbert, I'm so sorry about the sheets, it was me, you don't need to visit doctor bates monday! Although, I don't see how she could possible read this as she thinks the telephone is the work of the devil!