Not many people know this (HAH!), but my other half has recently had a baby.


Shes bottle feeding the little devil, and as such, there must be GALLONS of good, wholesome milk going to waste.

So I was thinking...

If I were to milk her and sell the milk in little cartons to people with protein deficiencys or to bodybuilders, or even to mothers who cant breast feed, would this be classed as cannibalism?


Would it be legal to sell her milk? After all, I cant drink it ALL can I?



See you all after the ban :D

Not many people know this (HAH!), but my other half has recently had a baby.


Shes bottle feeding the little devil, and as such, there must be GALLONS of good, wholesome milk going to waste.

So I was thinking...

If I were to milk her and sell the milk in little cartons to people with protein deficiencys or to bodybuilders, or even to mothers who cant breast feed, would this be classed as cannibalism?


Would it be legal to sell her milk? After all, I cant drink it ALL can I?



See you all after the ban :D

SCBU's and such places used to have milk banks, where women could donate unused expressed breast milk to feed babies who's mums couldn't breast feed for whatever reason.

Not many people know this (HAH!), but my other half has recently had a baby.


Shes bottle feeding the little devil, and as such, there must be GALLONS of good, wholesome milk going to waste.

So I was thinking...

If I were to milk her and sell the milk in little cartons to people with protein deficiencys or to bodybuilders, or even to mothers who cant breast feed, would this be classed as cannibalism?


Would it be legal to sell her milk? After all, I cant drink it ALL can I?




See you all after the ban :D

Rice pudding for tea?

Donate?

I want to SELL!

Not many people know this (HAH!), but my other half has recently had a baby.


Shes bottle feeding the little devil, and as such, there must be GALLONS of good, wholesome milk going to waste.

So I was thinking...

If I were to milk her and sell the milk in little cartons to people with protein deficiencys or to bodybuilders, or even to mothers who cant breast feed, would this be classed as cannibalism?


Would it be legal to sell her milk? After all, I cant drink it ALL can I?



See you all after the ban :D


You can drink it all Jabba, it tastes vile! :gag:

You can drink it all Jabba, it tastes vile! :gag:

Youve obviously never tasted my cooking.

A three week old dead fox would taste nice when compared to that!

YA three week old dead fox would taste nice when compared to that!
Oi, less of the fox comments :suspect:

Wet nursing used to be very common where mums used to feed each others babies. Can't think of any reason why it should be illegal. Does she produce semi skimmed and skimmed?

Selling the milk from your wives breasts is much like growing your own cannabis. You can enjoy it yourself, and perhaps between friends for personal consumption, but selling it on would be breaking the law.

Thanks for reading.

Shes a bit porky so theres no way is it skimmed!


High fat Id say.....


*JabberWock checks over his shoulder so make sure she isnt creeping up on him...*

I think you will find that the normally accepted thing to do with all this milk is to give it to the baby.

go on, wocky, get yer lady to donate it to the tiny little sick babies at the children's hospital....express, freeze, donate, feel smug about helping some teeny helpless thing out. if you're really lucky, perhaps it could be arranged that someone could pick it up from your house and drive it across the country at break-neck speed in an organ donation car? (failing that i'm sure you could track down a creme egg car and steal it for the purpose...just imagine what you could say when the police flagged you down).

Selling the milk from your wives breasts is much like growing your own cannabis. You can enjoy it yourself, and perhaps between friends for personal consumption, but selling it on would be breaking the law.

Thanks for reading.Why? If it were tested and found to be hygienic it would be ok. It's not a drug.

Donate?

I want to SELL!

Well, if you do find a market, you'll need to keep her producing.....

I believe you can get hormones from the vet that will do the job...just slip some into her tea....

She will keep producing so long as there is a demand so if Jabbers sits on his 3 legged stool milking her it will last as long as they want.

I think you will find that the normally accepted thing to do with all this milk is to give it to the baby.

Give a baby breast milk?!?!? Thats horrible!
If god had intended us to feed babys with THAT stuff he wouldnt have given us Cow and Gate! :D

Ok then.

What about Yoghurt?

I could make it into Yoghurt and add athletes foot spores as a sort of "Live Culture".

Im an entrepeneur. Like Richard Branston, the bloke who invented the pickle!

Well, if you do find a market, you'll need to keep her producing.....

I believe you can get hormones from the vet that will do the job...just slip some into her tea....

Oh Ill keep her producing.

Barefoot N pregnant. THATS how to treat a lady!

I think before you take this little business venture any further you should discuss it with your missis, that is unless you want to spend the rest of your life with your head in a sling.

I think before you take this little business venture any further you should discuss it with your missis, that is unless you want to spend the rest of your life with your head in a sling.

Theres NO WAY am I discussing this with livestock!


You know those fruit corner yoghurt things...? Well I was thinking... you know that crusty yellow stuff you get in the corner of your eyes when you wake in the mornings...?

You are a bad bad man jabbers.

Just be grateful I havent got around to my version of a sherbert dib-dab!

You definitley ought to sell your wifes milk, it's fresh organic produce which is what most people want these days! The organic industy is far from going bust & should be milked to it's full potential.

It would be crime not to IMO.

You definitley ought to sell your wifes milk, it's fresh organic produce which is what most people want these days! The organic industy is far from going bust & should be milked to it's full potential.

It would be crime not to IMO.


How do you know Jabber's wife is organic?

Jabber, I never realised it before, But you are GROSS!

I blame the caffeine merchants!

It should be Class A, like tobacco or bubblegum! ;)

you need eye-snot? babybabychickens has conjunctivitis at the mo...

you need eye-snot? babybabychickens has conjunctivitis at the mo...

And you're gross too, but your posts today on the Forum have been so comical........:thumbsup:

Joe, we've got a pair of bonsers on here! :hihi:

Im not sure if Gross is the right word. The Chinese are said to be disgusted to the point of puking at the very thought of Westerners drinking cows milk, and the Eastern Africans habit of drinking saliva beer turns a few westerners stomachs.

Maybe recycling our bodily fluids to assist with the world food shortage is merely an acquired taste?
For example, the dirt under my grandads big toenails was a foul tasting concoction, which often smelled of fresh sick, yet after a few tastes of it, it became a delicacy.




Ok I just grossed myself out there.
I actually self-grossed.

Im not sure if Gross is the right word. The Chinese are said to be disgusted to the point of puking at the very thought of Westerners drinking cows milk, and the Eastern Africans habit of drinking saliva beer turns a few westerners stomachs.

Maybe recycling our bodily fluids to assist with the world food shortage is merely an acquired taste?
For example, the dirt under my grandads big toenails was a foul tasting concoction, which often smelled of fresh sick, yet after a few tastes of it, it became a delicacy.




Ok I just grossed myself out there.
I actually self-grossed.

OOOOOHHHHH :hihi:

you need eye-snot? babybabychickens has conjunctivitis at the mo...

It will cure this.

http://parenting.ivillage.com/baby/bhealth/0,,3x20,00.html

You can drink it all Jabba, it tastes vile! :gag:

You've actually tasted it..............:gag:

How do you know Jabber's wife is organic?

I reckon Jabbers wife derived from or is related to living organisms then I reckon it should be more or less organic :D But at least half of the population probaly wont care as long as it's available in large attractive containers!:D

MY last girlfriend wasnt organic, she was inflatable and composed of completely man made materials.

It will cure this.

http://parenting.ivillage.com/baby/bhealth/0,,3x20,00.html

Please KenH don't encourage Jabber and babychickens, or we'll never get to bed tonight! :)

It will cure this.

http://parenting.ivillage.com/baby/bhealth/0,,3x20,00.html

So is this why Julies nipples never get conjunctivitis?

I'm just interested - if she has all this good, wholesome, mummy milk, why is she bottlefeeding ....?

Come on Ashcroft, don't be coy, every daddy has tasted it ... :rolleyes:

You've actually tasted it..............:gag:

Hasn't everyone? :D

Hasn't everyone? :D

Obviously not :rolleyes:

I'm just interested - if she has all this good, wholesome, mummy milk, why is she bottlefeeding ....?

Come on Ashcroft, don't be coy, every daddy has tasted it ... :rolleyes:
Im not sure... I just asked her and she said:

"Because Im a shorty as it is!, If I breast fed this little monster, I`d end up smaller than her"


Erm...

See now why Im the way I am? Shes driven me mad!


Ive never tasted breast milk. Id bloody faint if I did :D

Ive never tasted breast milk. Id bloody faint if I did :D

It's quite nice, warm and very sweet .... babies love it. Most daddies quite like it too .... so I've heard ;)

Personally I prefer Stella.

I dont suppose...?

It isn't gross Jabber, it is just a little on the sweet side.

I just asked my other half for a quick snifter of breast milk.

Does anyone know how to stop the pain from a knee in the groin..?

I just asked my other half for a quick snifter of breast milk.

Does anyone know how to stop the pain from a knee in the groin..?

:gag: :gag:

Rub milk on it !

:gag: :gag:

Rub milk on it !

:hihi: :hihi: :hihi: :hihi:

Shes a bit porky so theres no way is it skimmed!


High fat Id say.....


*JabberWock checks over his shoulder so make sure she isnt creeping up on him...*

I credit your braveness. (or should that be stupidity?)

I credit your braveness. (or should that be stupidity?)

I've just made an advanced booking with interflora for his funeral wreath before the rush starts :hihi:

I've just made an advanced booking with interflora for his funeral wreath before the rush starts :hihi:

It'll be one of those special shaped ones that spell out a name, except it'll be in the shape of two large bosoms! :hihi:

Come to think of it, how will the Grim Reaper sort his own death?

Breast milk is great.........but make sure you ask the lady for permission first.
It avoids complication at the trial :thumbsup:

I reckon Julie, should force feed Jabbers with her breast milk, till his liver swells. :D

Pate de frois JabberWock?



God I just turned myself on.

Pate de frois JabberWock?



God I just turned myself on.

:D :D :D :D :D

Jabber you'd make a fortune. Mother's milk is the most precious stuff on the planet; make sure you don't share it with just anybody ;)

Did you think it tasted vile Lindos? Maybe the donor had been eating sprouts :hihi: I just eat loads of chocolate and mine's delicious :thumbsup:

Shouldn't she be giving it to the baby though??? :huh:

Jabber you'd make a fortune. Mother's milk is the most precious stuff on the planet; make sure you don't share it with just anybody ;)

Did you think it tasted vile Lindos? Maybe the donor had been eating sprouts :hihi: I just eat loads of chocolate and mine's delicious :thumbsup:

Shouldn't she be giving it to the baby though??? :huh:

You mean you still have it Liz.? :o

Hasn't everyone? :D

No i cant reach...............:hihi: :hihi:

can remember watching a late night t.v programme in the last year or so, it was a late night ch4 or ch5 late night sexcetera type programme. the programme showed a cocktail/ drinks bar somewhere abroad. the thing about this place was that all the drinks that were available had one common ingredient... human breast milk!. there were lots of people drinking many different variations of breast milk. well it is a bit different i suppose.

I'm just interested - if she has all this good, wholesome, mummy milk, why is she bottlefeeding ....?

Come on Ashcroft, don't be coy, every daddy has tasted it ... :rolleyes:

Well maybe but seen as i'm a mummy there was none left for me or my hubby...:hihi:

Well maybe but seen as i'm a mummy there was none left for me or my hubby...:hihi:

oops, but can I be forgiven, please. I find it hard to believe that you never tasted your own produce, you'd force feed it to a baby but never try it yourself :confused: .... also Ashcroft is quite a masculine name :blush:

Sorry, again! *wibbles off muttering apologies sotto voce ....

oops, but can I be forgiven, please. I find it hard to believe that you never tasted your own produce, you'd force feed it to a baby but never try it yourself :confused: .... also Ashcroft is quite a masculine name :blush:

Sorry, again! *wibbles off muttering apologies sotto voce ....

:hihi: :hihi: :hihi:

Selling the milk from your wives breasts is much like growing your own cannabis. You can enjoy it yourself, and perhaps between friends for personal consumption, but selling it on would be breaking the law.

Thanks for reading.

What law is being broken? And how would West Bar Police react if you went in to report someone? What punishment does it carry? Community Service or a spell in the nick?

Just interested...

Why not sell it to these people: http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/1650932/posts ?

oops, but can I be forgiven, please. I find it hard to believe that you never tasted your own produce, you'd force feed it to a baby but never try it yourself :confused: .... also Ashcroft is quite a masculine name :blush:

Sorry, again! *wibbles off muttering apologies sotto voce ....

:hihi: :hihi: Never thought about that......and i apologise back. My hubby is Ash and i am croft thats how we came up with the name, he's on here more than me thats probably why we cause confusion....:thumbsup:

Im going to start a placenta eating thread tomorrow... A take away placenta caff.

Im going to start a placenta eating thread tomorrow... A take away placenta caff.

Dont forget the cord that was cut.What do you suggest ?

Im going to start a placenta eating thread tomorrow... A take away placenta caff.

Well mine wouldn't of been any use it was chewed up before it came out :hihi: :hihi: it looked a bit like stewed steak........Yum

Dont forget the cord that was cut.What do you suggest ?

Use it for a straw to suck up all the milk..........:thumbsup:

Well mine wouldn't of been any use it was chewed up before it came out :hihi: :hihi: it looked a bit like stewed steak........Yum

Sounds like the baby had a meal before it came out !!

Sounds like the baby had a meal before it came out !!

Maybe....my hubby always insists she's a little DEMON.....:hihi:

Maybe....my hubby always insists she's a little DEMON.....:hihi:

Ah, Bless. I bet shes lovely. :)

Its just posh chicklings and bag.
Nice with chips.

You mean you still have it Liz.? :o
Yes Ma'am. My babies are only 8 months old, and my clever daughter (3+) still feeds. I'm lucky :D

Yes Ma'am. My babies are only 8 months old, and my clever daughter (3+) still feeds. I'm lucky :D

Blimey, Supermum or what ?

Blimey, Supermum or what ?

8 months isn't very old for a baby to still be feeding... maybe 3 is going it a bit :) but most babies have breast until about a year, don't they? Or at least until they start biting. OUCH!

Blimey, Supermum or what ?
LOL you don't know the half of it ;) :thumbsup:

8 months isn't very old for a baby to still be feeding... maybe 3 is going it a bit :) but most babies have breast until about a year, don't they? Or at least until they start biting. OUCH!
Yeah, to both Rubes, but I figure my daughter is born with the wisdom she needs to survive and when she's had enough she'll stop of her own accord. It's as much for comfort and intimacy as anything, bless her she's such a honey.

Twins are already biting, and head-turning at the same time;cripes! they are spending a lot of time on the floor :hihi:

Yeah, to both Rubes, but I figure my daughter is born with the wisdom she needs to survive and when she's had enough she'll stop of her own accord. It's as much for comfort and intimacy as anything, bless her she's such a honey.

Twins are already biting, and head-turning at the same time;cripes! they are spending a lot of time on the floor :hihi:

Are they crawling yet Liz ?

No, I meant when they bite, I place them on the floor in front of me and say 'No!' It's good training for when they get girlfriends :P

No, I meant when they bite, I place them on the floor in front of me and say 'No!' It's good training for when they get girlfriends :P

I can remember mine biting.You nearly jump out of your skin.

But aside of that, it's a wonderfully rewarding and fulfilling experience that can never be taken away from the mother or the child and it sets them up for life.

But aside of that, it's a wonderfully rewarding and fulfilling experience that can never be taken away from the mother or the child and it sets them up for life.

Yes, because breast milk contains anti-bodies, and is already sterilised.:thumbsup:

Not to mention ALL the OTHER things that are fantastic about it and perfect for humans ;) but I think that thread has been done already :)

Not to mention ALL the OTHER things that are fantastic about it and perfect for humans ;) but I think that thread has been done already :)

Im going to be cheeky and ask, do you ever dry up with three to feed ?

No, 'cos Andorra ensures that it is always flowing. She keeps the milk supply plentiful by her proficient suckling, and as the needs of the twins are greater than hers, its their hormones that affect the quality of the milk; it is more suited to them than to her. Clever bodies, ain't they?

When supply starts to get low at the end of a feed, the twins literally batter me with their chubby little hands for more and it always cracks me up. It's the 'Ug' factor!

No, 'cos Andorra ensures that it is always flowing. She keeps the milk supply plentiful by her proficient suckling, and as the needs of the twins are greater than hers, its their hormones that affect the quality of the milk; it is more suited to them than to her. Clever bodies, ain't they?

When supply starts to get low at the end of a feed, the twins literally batter me with their chubby little hands for more and it always cracks me up. It's the 'Ug' factor!

Im full of admiration for you.Ive never heard of this before.

Would it be legal to sell her milk? After all, I cant drink it ALL can I?

Mmmmm Bitty :P

Mmmmm Bitty :P

:heyhey: :heyhey: :heyhey:

Well its coming up to the time when my OH will have milky boobies again... Im just getting this thread out of mothballs for the big day.

i believe theres certain websites you can watch videos / photos on of lactating ladies
ahem, not that ive ever seen

I feel disgusted in myself for reading this thread. :gag:

I feel disgusted in myself for reading this thread. :gag:

Disgusted and yet at the same time... turned on...?

Jabbers, just let us know when you are going to try to milk your wife and we'll have a whip-round to get some flowers for your coffin - obviously you won't see them as you'll be nailed inside but you'll hear Mrs J throw them at you :D

Jabbers, just let us know when you are going to try to milk your wife and we'll have a whip-round to get some flowers for your coffin - obviously you won't see them as you'll be nailed inside but you'll hear Mrs J throw them at you :D

You trying to hint that Im scared of her??

ARE YA?!?!?


Cos Im not!

Id milk her right this miute !... if she was here.. but shes out... Shes out at her sisters , if she wasnt Id grab her ti... boob and milk her right this minute!!!

Yeahhhh

You trying to hint that Im scared of her??

ARE YA?!?!?


Cos Im not!

Id milk her right this miute !... if she was here.. but shes out... Shes out at her sisters , if she wasnt Id grab her ti... boob and milk her right this minute!!!

Yeahhhh

Jabbers (http://www.nextnature.net/research/wp-content/uploads/2006/10/chicken3~.jpg)

:hihi:

Jabbers (http://www.nextnature.net/research/wp-content/uploads/2006/10/chicken3~.jpg)

:hihi:

Its.. Red?

A red cockerell? Why is it-- hang on a mo...

THATS NOT ME!

I just realised... yeah I know Im slow off the uptake at times :D

Jabbers after he tries to milk Mrs Wocky (http://cfcp.uchicago.edu/~colin/blog/images/022006-chicken-big.jpg)

:D

Disgusted and yet at the same time... turned on...?

"Repulsed" is the word I'd use. You sick, sick mister. :hihi:

Jabbers after he tries to milk Mrs Wocky (http://cfcp.uchicago.edu/~colin/blog/images/022006-chicken-big.jpg)

:D

Waddya mean AFTER?

Shes got me like that most of the bloody time!

Jabbers after he tries to milk Mrs Wocky (http://cfcp.uchicago.edu/~colin/blog/images/022006-chicken-big.jpg)

:D

Including the can shoved up his arse?

Including the can shoved up his arse?

No - he did that himself!

No - he did that himself!

He must've got to it before her then. Bet she had a sip after! ;)

One of these days she is going to get her own back on you and come on here and tell us all your little secrets, either that or she will just kill you

One of these days she is going to get her own back on you and come on here and tell us all your little secrets, either that or she will just kill you

She`ll have to ask my permission to use the comp first, and as master of the house Ill say NO!

You are the master? did you ask permission to write that

What about the crusty bum things you get??

Chocolate crunchies!!!

You are the master? did you ask permission to write that

No I just know she wont see it :D

Jabbers... I thought you might like this (http://youtube.com/watch?v=46EbjMkeghE) :hihi:

And yes the Rufus in question is the deliciously attractive Rufus Wainwright - Loudon is his Daddy

So have you got any bottles for sale or what?
If I have to pay 99p per pint, I want a free sample in a cup of tea first, 2 squirts 2 sugars if your mashin.

So have you got any bottles for sale or what?
If I have to pay 99p per pint, I want a free sample in a cup of tea first, 2 squirts 2 sugars if your mashin.

Ill be handing it out for free. The size of her boobies, means there`ll be gallons of the stuff! :D

I take it you haven't seen America's Got Talent (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tkh0oSmw1TY) then?

QUOTE=Jabberwocky;3772726]She`ll have to ask my permission to use the comp first, and as master of the house Ill say NO![/QUOTE]
Master??
is that after your oh and kids :)

QUOTE=Jabberwocky;3772726]She`ll have to ask my permission to use the comp first, and as master of the house Ill say NO!
Master??
is that after your oh and kids :)[/QUOTE]

You forgot the cat, the budgie, the goldfish and most of the plants in the garden!

I never pay attention to the details in thread titles, but I just noticed the word "wife" in this one.

Are you finally going to make an honest woman of her, Jabbers?

:o That busty jeez :|

if any ladies want to be milked im avai............errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrm

I never pay attention to the details in thread titles, but I just noticed the word "wife" in this one.

Are you finally going to make an honest woman of her, Jabbers?

Yeah of course I am!

Honest...

heh

poor baby, that's my only comment!

POOR BABY?!?

Have you seen what kind of kids we have??? (http://www.cinephano.fr/gfix/films/twins_shining.jpg)