Heard the other day, the parents let the kids eat whatever, they can climb up in the cupboards and eat chocolate whatever they can find. the child is 5 or 6, and need 6 teeth out.
I am due later this year, and I am not bringing my child up on McDonalds, chocolate galore.
I have no idea what I will be like as a parent. I am scared to death about the whole thing. but. I think that is bad. not strictness

i don't really think there's many parents around who do that. i think there's also quite a problem with bad teeth in families with lots of kids, simply because it's harder to police what they're eating the whole time.

as for worrying about being a parent - yep, it's pretty hard work, but it's worth it when your minime puts their arms up and smiles at you, waiting for a cuddle. it's even more worth it when they're screaming their heads off whilst they're with your mother in law and are then very happy once you take them back. just be as prepared as you can be - if you're going to read parenting books/buy everything in advance/childproof your house in anticipation, you're best doing it before the baby arrives because you will have a serious lack of time and energy once it arrives. good luck, and don't worry! make sure you look after yourself and be as well prepared as you can, though. you'll be the best parent you can be, but don't set your standards unbelievably high just yet - sometimes you will give your kid a biscuit just to shut them up, sometimes you will just plonk them in front of the tv so you can sit down, and sometimes you won't change their nappy as fast as you could because you're tired and your back aches. in the grand scheme of things it actually doesn't matter, jsut so long as you stick to how you want to bring them up the rest of the time.

bc

Don't worry that is not standard behaviour for the majority of kids. That is certainly not the norm.

Becoming a parent is scarey but once you ae one you are too busy to ever be scared again ( apart from the biggies of health and safety).

If you are interested in nutrition for little ones then go to Waterstones and browse through the books there. Annabel Karmel is always good. Then be very cheeky and ask someone to buy you one as a pressie when baby comes along. I think all mummies fret about the food aspect at some point. But Health visitors and other mummies will help.

Hope your baby is growing happily in your tum and you are feeling ok XXX

Don't worry that is not standard behaviour for the majority of kids. That is certainly not the norm.

Becoming a parent is scarey but once you ae one you are too busy to ever be scared again ( apart from the biggies of health and safety).

If you are interested in nutrition for little ones then go to Waterstones and browse through the books there. Annabel Karmel is always good. Then be very cheeky and ask someone to buy you one as a pressie when baby comes along. I think all mummies fret about the food aspect at some point. But Health visitors and other mummies will help.

Hope your baby is growing happily in your tum and you are feeling ok XXX

Hi, thanks for that. I have recently had my emotional moments at home with my hubby, bursting into tears. nearly every night for the last week. dont know why. just felt alone & scared. but im not on my own.
& I feel i have got a tough few steps to follow: basically, I have a few nieces and nephews. my sister just recently had a baby. all I hear from my mum, is I hope you are going to do this or that or the other. I hope you are going to be like that.
All things you want to hear, but like she is breastfeeding. she will expect me to do that. and throughout my pregnancy, or you shouldnt be feeling like that and you can do this or that. so i have got a tough time to overcome.

That's the hormones - don't worry about the tears. It can feel lonely. Can you find any pregnancy swimming/aqua fit classes. They do them at King Edwards pool and at Hillsborough. It's a nice way to bob around with other mums to be.

Oh Beth - families can be such buggers at times. I think you'll have to tell your mum you'll be doing what is right for you and your baby. Different babies like different things. You can't follow in their footsteps cos' your kiddie won't let you.

Breast feeding is a very personal and individual thing. Some babies love it, some hate it, some babies won't take the milk that way. Some mothes love, some find it hard, some hate it.

Have you seen your midwife yet? If I were you I'd tell her all about your pressurising mother and that you feel a little scared. She's heard it before so she won't think you are mad. Although I know why you feel lonely - don't worry you aren't. I think at this stage it's bad to bottle things up so talk to those whom you can. We'll all listen here and let you borrow a shoulder to lean on.

That's the hormones - don't worry about the tears. It can feel lonely. Can you find any pregnancy swimming/aqua fit classes. They do them at King Edwards pool and at Hillsborough. It's a nice way to bob around with other mums to be.

Oh Beth - families can be such buggers at times. I think you'll have to tell your mum you'll be doing what is right for you and your baby. Different babies like different things. You can't follow in their footsteps cos' your kiddie won't let you.

Breast feeding is a very personal and individual thing. Some babies love it, some hate it, some babies won't take the milk that way. Some mothes love, some find it hard, some hate it.

Have you seen your midwife yet? If I were you I'd tell her all about your pressurising mother and that you feel a little scared. She's heard it before so she won't think you are mad. Although I know why you feel lonely - don't worry you aren't. I think at this stage it's bad to bottle things up so talk to those whom you can. We'll all listen here and let you borrow a shoulder to lean on.
Hi I went last thursday night to hillsborough aqua natal for the first time. went ok, I cant go tonight. are you expecting. do you go there?
I am feeling bigger now. am 20 weeks on tuesday. my hubby is proud off me, keeps telling me Im doing well. but doesnt like the tears. he says is there going to be any tears today/tonight?
thanks again.

No baby in my tummy ( just chocolate!). My boy is now 2 and I was not at all maternal so finding out I was pregnant was a bit of a shock. But once he was here it was brilliant.

But I had parent and in-law issues so can relate to that one.

Half way there then!! Are you nice and round?

not really round. just big tum. well to me its big. when I got out of the shower this am. I thought 'jesus' look at that.
Where is King Edwards pool?
ever so busy at Hillsborough.
My mum passed me my sisters baby, straight away she started crying. I thought thats not good.
but i think when they are your own. its better.

My mum passed me my sisters baby, straight away she started crying. I thought thats not good.
but i think when they are your own. its better.

just a warning -

for a while after your baby is born there's every chance that they'll cry EVERY time you're near for a few weeks. when they're born they have a really good sense of smell, and you'll have the lovely yummy smell of a milky mummy. your baby will smell you and just be desperate to be near you (and probably feed). it can be quite hard emotionally, but you have to keep telling yourself it's because your baby wants you that they're doing it. you may not feel that you love your baby for a while after they're born, either, but that's normal and you will grow to love them a huge huge amount.

breast feeding is very personal. my daughter and i were simply not compatible, and after weeks and weeks of trying, she ended up at the children's hospital and me at a point of near collapse. it was horrendous at the time, but i don't regret anything, because the benefits far far outweigh the rest. some people have no trouble at all, but most have to work at it a little bit. i know all the midwives etc will encourage you to breast feed, so you will have heard this before - it really is best for the baby. it isn't just teh antibodies, breastmilk is full of hormones which tell your baby to develop, it helps with bonding, it helps your body recover, and importantly, whilst formula is a very good substitute, it is based on a different type of milk than breast milk, and human babies are not perfectly equipt to digest it. obviously it is your choice, but breastfeeding even for a couple of weeks could do wonders for both you and your baby. oh, and it's easier than cleaning/sterilising/making formula every hour.

dont feel pressured by others saying what you should be doing, just do what you feel comfortable with. as for the food issue if the kids brought up with healthy food then they will eat it, though i do treat mine to a burger sometimes, i refuse to buy choc, crisps, biccies, ect as they get enough at grannys. if my kids want a snack they get fruit or yoghurt, they even choose what fruit and veg i get when in supermarket, too the suprise of other shoppers
dont panic, enjoy it. its a great time and if anyone disagrees with your parenting sod them, its your kid not theirs if there happy and healthy whats the problem:thumbsup:

just a warning -

for a while after your baby is born there's every chance that they'll cry EVERY time you're near for a few weeks. when they're born they have a really good sense of smell, and you'll have the lovely yummy smell of a milky mummy. your baby will smell you and just be desperate to be near you (and probably feed). it can be quite hard emotionally, but you have to keep telling yourself it's because your baby wants you that they're doing it. you may not feel that you love your baby for a while after they're born, either, but that's normal and you will grow to love them a huge huge amount.




That is such an important point, babychickens. Your hormones are everywhere after giving birth, and your life has just changed beyond all imagining. It can take a little while to sort it all out in your head and get used to it all. So many people are led to believe it will all be totally rosy and wonderful right from the beginning, and if it isn't, they're hit with a double whammy of guilt on top of everything else because they think they aren't normal.
And if it doesn't start to get better on it's own, don't be afraid to tell people how you're feeling. You may just need a little extra support, you may need more. But you are NOT a freak, and you WILL fall head over heels for that baby as time goes on!

Y'see, I knew our girls were all wrong, every time they got near my breasts they fell asleep! Mr Z would bring a wailing baby in to me, hold her in the general vicinity of my chest and they would instantly drop off.
I only breastfed for 6.5 weeks and then switched to formula without a little guilt but not much.
I've been reaidng a book in the bath tonight which brought up an excellent point that...
"Pregnancies are all about the birth and what kind of labour and delivery you'll have, I got a shock when I got home to my flat, where I'd lived for years with my partner, put the baby in his car seat on the living room floor and thought 'Now what?', I suddenly had a baby to look after and no one had warned me about that." (Quote from book)
It seems the most obvious thing in the world doesn't it? But I can sort of relate to it a bit and I'd had loads of experience with kids.
It's all going to be about you and your values as to how you bring your kids up, the words of the others parents above are all true and your own experience will be just as valid.
Stephen King says 'Don't sweat the small stuff' and I think he has a point:)

Being a good parent is easy. Being a bad parent, if you have any consience at all is impossible.
We tend to see the tinyest mistakes as huge things, for example, my four year old has a couple of bad teeth in spite of the fact that we rarely give her sugary crap and we insist that she has a good nutritious diet. We blamed ourselves for the bad teeth until the doc told us she has an iron defiency that, through a domino effect, leads her to have fragile teeth.
Shes now taking an iron supplement and hopefully her teeth are starting to recover.
Its easy to blame ourselves for things that go wrong, but we all make mistakes, its part of life. Dont let the thought of being a parent worry yu, the fact that you ARE worried tells me that youre already on your way to being a fantastic mother!