My conscience got the better of me this afternoon, so I decided to ease the pain a bit, and rattled together this short contribution for your comments.

At least it will be a part of this month's A4 Theme. :)

Be as brutal as you wish, I really won't mind. :)

The Window. (http://sheffieldwriters.ath.cx/SFStoryArchive/1172425439.doc)

Hey shoeshine :)

I've read through your piece three times. I think it's one of those pieces of writing that warrants rereading. It did not immediately grab me, but this is not in itself a problem for a story of this length. One of those which requires the reader to kind of chip away at the surrounding rock to reveal the fossil within. ;)

It was an ambitious piece of writing, extremely subtle, and you deserve commendment for making it work as well as you have. My personal reaction, though, is that it could have done with some creative cutting. The first two paragraphs, though well written in themselves, do not quite work in context. Maybe condense them, and use the extra space to add in some more subtle clues as to what the story is about. This would help to leave the reader more satisfied at the conclusion.

Nice effort, though. :)

I'm not going to say is it..........and make an ass of myself ,but i feel it's along those lines ,very intriguing SS .The more i read it , the more i change my mind about what you are .

Many thanks Gipsy Hack. :thumbsup:

I agree with you. I started off with the intention of mirroring my position sat here at my computer by the front window, and had the intention of recounting the people and things I see through that window.

Within a few sentences I began to realise that maybe the "window" had a life of its own, in an existential way....and veered toward that side of things....hence the ultimate message....the topic of the day...the effect of "Global Warming" as predicted and fed to us by our "betters" (so-called").

I have tried to contain it all within an A4 Format.

Your comments are much appreciated...:thumbsup:

I'm not going to say is it..........and make an ass of myself ,but i feel it's along those lines ,very intriguing SS .The more i read it , the more i change my mind about what you are .

scribe......say what you think.......please

As I said in the OP, I really won't be offended. :)

I have tried to contain it all within an A4 Format.
Very difficult to do. Whatever the theme.

It is very hard to produce a satisfying piece of writing - particularly fiction - to fit just one page. I'm halfway through one at the moment, and it's driving me up the wall. :help:

I thought this was a very relaxing and easy to read piece. Shows another side of shoeshine.

For some strange reason i thought you were a barometer DOH!!!!!!

Hi Shoeshine,
I thought that was a wonderful piece, loved it! I felt it had a calming feel to it and quite touching I thought. How you picked up on various things, loved the reference being an hour out but only happens twice a year. Loved it, very good!
Made me smile and feel cosy.:) :thumbsup:

Thank you for your comments, brisbane. :blush:

Your welcome, thought it was lovely.

I better start trying to get something down, I think I have writers block!

Your welcome, thought it was lovely.

I better start trying to get something down, I think I have writers block!

I think Mantaspook's idea of making this month an "A4" month is great, because it gives us all a chance to have a go at writing a short piece of work. Many "Writing" Members have very busy lives and may appreciate opportunities to experiment/practice with short pieces; there is no expiry date for any Monthly "Theme".:)

Monthly "theme" suggestions from WG Members are always very much appreciated too. :)

If a WG Member has a suggestion for a "Theme/Genre", just PM the idea to one or other of the Group Leaders, please. :thumbsup:

Really good Shoeshine, I like it.
But, Errrr!, well lets say I’ll get back to you later.

Really good Shoeshine, I like it.
But, Errrr!, well lets say I’ll get back to you later.

You come up with some really good ideas and your writing is good, but I think what it lacks is passion, add this and your stories would be excellent.
I like this idea, I’ll borrow it if I may, look for my A4.:thumbsup:

You come up with some really good ideas and your writing is good, but I think what it lacks is passion, add this and your stories would be excellent.
I like this idea, I’ll borrow it if I may, look for my A4.:thumbsup:

By all means, coyleys, feel free to mofify it as you wish. :thumbsup: