Just watching Eastenders....how out of touch is this programme?

Carly is going on one because Kevin isn't her real dad...is anyone really that self centered?

I was brought up by a bloke who isn't my real father, but he's the one that stopped up with me all night when I was ill, He's the one who took me to play football on a Sunday morning.

Does Biology really matter? I couldn't care less where my Biological father is right now...I've never seen him in my life, never had a birthday card or anything..

Just watching Eastenders....how out of touch is this programme?

Carly is going on one because Kevin isn't her real dad...is anyone really that self centered?

I was brought up by a bloke who isn't my real father, but he's the one that stopped up with me all night when I was ill, He's the one who took me to play football on a Sunday morning.

Does Biology really matter? I couldn't care less where my Biological father is right now...I've never seen him in my life, never had a birthday card or anything..

Yeah but thats not the point....she has lived her whole life believing he was her Dad!

I cant imagine being told 20 something years later after all that time, he is actually not.

I honestly don't think it would bother me. He's the one who's spent his life bringing them up and looking after them.

I'd much rather have that than a waste of space no mark who's never there "bringing me up"

I didn't find out until I was eighteen that the man who had brought me up wasn't my biological father. He was still my "dad", and that's all that mattered at that time.

However, later on in my life I needed to know who my biological father was (for health reasons), and my mother told me a pack of lies. At that time it was important that she told me the truth, and I can't forgive her for not doing that. I still don't know who my biological father is/was, and I doubt I will ever find out for certain.

However, that man will never be my "dad" ~ he was the man who brought me up from the age of two months, and was the best father he could be.

I was adopted, and wasn't told until I was going on 14, by which time my adoptive father had left and my mother went away to find work elsewhere, leaving me with her parents. Although I later went to live with her and her new man (and children) I never had any desire to find out who my biological parents were, and rather regarded my grandparents (and great-aunt) as the ones to whom I owed most. I don't think biology counts--only in dynastic families, and look where that has got the Royals!

I was adopted, and wasn't told until I was going on 14, by which time my adoptive father had left and my mother went away to find work elsewhere, leaving me with her parents. Although I later went to live with her and her new man (and children) I never had any desire to find out who my biological parents were, and rather regarded my grandparents (and great-aunt) as the ones to whom I owed most. I don't think biology counts--only in dynastic families, and look where that has got the Royals!

:thumbsup:

Just watching Eastenders....how out of touch is this programme?

Carly is going on one because Kevin isn't her real dad...is anyone really that self centered?

I was brought up by a bloke who isn't my real father, but he's the one that stopped up with me all night when I was ill, He's the one who took me to play football on a Sunday morning.

Does Biology really matter? I couldn't care less where my Biological father is right now...I've never seen him in my life, never had a birthday card or anything..No I dont believe Biology does matter. As long as you are brought up in a loving family, thats all that matters.

I was adopted, and wasn't told until I was going on 14, by which time my adoptive father had left and my mother went away to find work elsewhere, leaving me with her parents. Although I later went to live with her and her new man (and children) I never had any desire to find out who my biological parents were, and rather regarded my grandparents (and great-aunt) as the ones to whom I owed most. I don't think biology counts--only in dynastic families, and look where that has got the Royals!

Being brought up with love is the only thing that really counts. Biology only becomes important when it comes to certain hereditary conditions. It is obviously better to know if there is an inherited problem in the family.

I know you will probably say "but if youve never been in the situation you wouldnt know" but personally, if my parents turned around now and said i was adopted i wouldnt care a hoot. My parents are brill and im very close to them and know that they love me dearly. It takes a man and a woman to conceive, it takes a parent to bring a child up:)

Don't know whether to comment on this thread, I've thrown up some right issues in real life re this.

Basically my own childhood did not start well. My mum didn't want me (single parent in early 70's etc) and she was going to have me adopted. She changed her mind physically after I was born but not really mentally - it was more my Grandma and Grandad who brought me up - and as a result my mother and I have a very estranged relationship. I don't know my father and it's not on my birth certificate. That's the short version.
I relayed the details once to a colleague, who went home, told her mum who then announced to her, "well actually i gave YOU up for six weeks when you were born." She was 19 at the time.

One of my mates knew she was adopted but was always led to believe her sister was her sister by blood, then this was revealed to her, again after telling her mum my story, that actually that wasn't the case.

When she had children herself, I went to stay. We talked about how she was a bit upset her mum wasn't joining in more and I inspired her to look for her parents (not encouraged- inspired - I didn't tell her to! We just discussed parenting again.) It was not a happy tale - drug addiction resulting in a dead mother and a father who had changed his habits but who didn't want to know (with a clean cut wife now who knew nothing of his past). Her husband is also ironically adopted but he doesn't want to know anything at all, he loves his parents dearly and says noone could beat them!

They always say fact is stranger than fiction, Edna !!!!!

They always say fact is stranger than fiction, Edna !!!!!

Aye but I'm like one of those 'if you relay this story bad things will happen to you type chain letters', make sure you tell noone else! :hihi:

my mam has been married 4 times, my "real" dad was her first the bloke i always thort of as me dad was the 2nd, she married the 3rd and had my brother, she devorced him and met the *******" ( no4) i always thort of number 3 as me dad, i always knew i had this other "dad" but never cared. when i was about 13 i lost contact with me dad ( no2) and was kinda hoodwinked into calling ( no3) me dad.No4 dad HA! wot a joke he got put in prison for battering my mam and if the turth had come out would havve been locked up for alot more, None of this ever mattered to me, i got over the worst of it. or at least i tried. when i was about 29 i set about contacting my real dad. I tried to make it work but after all these years i think of my brothers dad ( mams 3rd hubby) as actually my dad, and then none of them can compare with my grandad)

it so doesnt matter about blood... its who has been there for you that counts and makes a parent

What's all the fuss, it's only a story lol.

Being serious now, I don't think it matters that much these days, but must be a wrench to discover, what you thought was a biological parent, that they are not. I know that it would turn my world upside down. Having said that, my parents divorced when I was in my teens and my stepdad has been a far better dad to me than my biological dad.

I don't think biological relation matters.But i think knowing who you are and where you come from does.
I have been bought up by my dad since i was 6 he is the best dad anyone could wish for.He was there when i was ill and parents evenings ect.
He will also be walking me down the isle on my wedding day in june and i will be so proud of him.I have always known he aint my dad and have always spent my life woundering who my dad is.I have been in touch with my biological (sounds like a washing powder:hihi: ) father and found he is a complete ass.He won't be coming to my wedding his excuse is that he does not like sheffield.Anyways now im in my dads situation cos i have a step son he is 8 i have bought him up as my own since he was 6mnth old.He was having contact with his mum when it suited her (with the courts agreement) .But when he was 3 she cut all contact together.He is now 8 and for 5 year she has not bothered.He does ask about her because he remembers going to her house and he knows he has a sister that lives at his mums cos he played with her when he visisted his mum.And i try and explain that his mum was not well when she had him and could not cope thats why he lives with us.She has recently been going round our local area telling people how we don't let her see her son.But she knows where we live and our phone number so if she is that bothered why not call round she only lives up the road.Anyway my son has suffered quiet a lot through what he went through with his mum.And he has a seperation disorder.But is loads better then he was after time with a physciatrist and me working with him and learning to handle him better through doing a parenting course.But i think in order to know who you are you need to know where you come from.No matter what the other parent did or did not do.But no matter what it takes more then a donation of sperm or a womb to be a parent.And i think in carly's situation i would be pretty confused.I don't think she being self centred she is just confused.Charlie x x

unfortunatly when you know nothing about you biological history it makes questions about hereditary illness a bit tricky, i have just been given the all clear for carrying heamochromotosis, my sister is a carrier, and we know it came from our biological father as our mum is also all clear, thats the only time when it might matter.

Sometimes I wish my parents wern't my biological ones, all they do is pull me down and let me down when I need them the most

My uncle met his fiancee about 11 years ago and she had a 1year old girl, her biological father was a waste of space. My uncle took the baby on as his own and she always knew he wasnt her father by blood, she used to call my grandparents by there names not nanan or grandad and she didnt call him dad. Then one day she turned round and called him dad and belive me, it was one of the happiest moments of his life. She know calls him dad, my grandparents nanan and grandad and has taken on our surname. I would never let anyone say she isnt my cousin.

Some nice stories come out of this thread, its always good to hear when people have good relationships with their families as some people don't and they would dearly love to.

There is, of course, the flip side which some members on here have experienced. Its unfortunate and I sympathise with them, the only way they can change things is to make sure it doesn't happen to your offspring.

If there's anyone out there searching for their real parents, I wish you all the luck in the world with it, and I hope it turns out happy for you. :)

if my dad told me now he wasnt my real dad, it wouldnt matter to me, I would feel a little upset that I would have wanted him to be my real dad but hes not. Also, I would wish that he had told me sooner instead of letting me believe otherwise

What does "real" dad mean anyway? To me a "real" dad is someone who cares for us when we cry, tells us stories and loves us no matter what. Blood isnt important.

This program as help my friend who has two daughters age 11 and 14 who one is his child and the other is not but she has his name. and it just remind
me of his life when his wife cheated on him and he took his child as well as his x wife child to live with him as he treat her just like his own. And he rang me soon after it was shown to see if i had seen eastenders and that he was scared if his eledest went off the way the girl did in the program, his other daughter did not know at the time he was not her real dad. But he did tell her and thankfuly she does not mind one bit and even she said that eastenders has gone way OTT over this, as like she says at 14 he took both of them in and not just his own daughter, and she says that end of the day her dad is the one she lived with since she was 2ys old and not the stanger that is her dad, and she has no other dad apart from my freind. I tell you not much chokes me up but when i hear what she said tears flood from my eyes.

What does "real" dad mean anyway? To me a "real" dad is someone who cares for us when we cry, tells us stories and loves us no matter what. Blood isnt important.

Thats why i say biological.lol
I also had to find my biological father cos of a genetic condition called charcot-marie tooth. (cmt) charlie

Thats why i say biological.lol
I also had to find my biological father cos of a genetic condition called charcot-marie tooth. (cmt) charlie

Can I ask you though, If you hadnt had needed to find him then would you ever have bothered?

Can I ask you though, If you hadnt had needed to find him then would you ever have bothered?

Yep course i would curiosity more then anything and u know what curiosity did to the cat:suspect: .
Anyways i would of want to find him just for sake of knowing where i come from as dilussional as i was.
when your young your nieve and thast for sure.I spent my whole life woundering what my biological dad looked like and who he is.What i did not realise was i already knew the answers to them questions. I already had him (my step dad) he was there when i had my son ,at parents evenings and will be walking me down the isle june just did not see it.charlie