A few years ago i was in a relationship that failed and my ex partner went off to live with someone else. There was no bitterness as we both needed a break but she was just braver at the time to make the move. There was a child involved whom i saw regularly. It was all pretty amicable until the CSA (Child support agency) stepped in.
After this the CSA started demanding that i pay huge sums of money that didn't take into account any of the student loans or the bank loans i had amassed whilst at college. As my ex was co-habiting with a guy who had his own business I had no intention of paying it. I would have been living on the breadline whist she would have been quids in. I signed on for a while and then i started working again I was expecting a knock at the door at any moment - it never came. Anyway three years later and a few promotions up to a very average paid job I got a letter saying that they have sent a letter to my place of work instructing them to take out two thousand pounds a month out of my wages. i spoke to the neigbour of my ex who lives near chesterfield and she says she is loaded with two cars and three holidays a year and another kid by this guy! I live in a ****ty flat in Nether Edge, drive a ****ty car and basically have nothing I dont pay out to cover all the debts she walked away from.
It was the first time ever I'd really felt that things were going alright for me. Now I feel I'm back to square one.
Sorry to go on but I guess I'm in shock. What should I do?
:(

I would speak to the citizens advise bureau. The CSA are all over the shop mate. I was paying through them but now pay my ex partner direct because they are so slow doing stuff.

The CAB are brill mate

Hope it works out well

Coggy

Yeh cheers coggy, I'll call them in the morning.

Thanks for that:thumbsup:

I know it's probably the last thing you feel like doing, but a good family lawyer might be able to help too.

The CSA wasn't really meant for people like you, but you've got badly caught up in it.

Sorry to ask, but I am assuming the child is yours?

Perhaps the new partner she has refuses to support the child (yours?) In which case should you have been supporting him/her for the period after you separated? In anyway that you could.

If you had taken the child to live with you, you would be entitled to the same from the mother.

Obviously I don't know your personal circumstances and I am assuming a lot. The most important person in all this is the child and I assume if you failed to support him/her for that time period the reason the deductions are so much is because it includes back pay.

The csa only step in, as far as I am aware, if the mother/father requests them to or the mother / father is claiming state benefits. So I guess in your circumstances (as she is so well off) she must have asked them to.

Here is a link for you:
http://www.nolo.com/lawcenter/ency/article.cfm/ObjectID/BAC3A390-A668-4B35-89CC3715FB0F0ACC/catID/50577D19-965B-4301-B98AE541654F9EAB

Originally posted by bonny

The csa only step in, as far as I am aware, if the mother/father requests them to or the mother / father is claiming state benefits. So I guess in your circumstances (as she is so well off) she must have asked them to.



I don't think this is true. When I split with my ex many years ago, I told the CSA I wanted nothing from him, but they still persued him for money. Maybe things have changed recently.

The system is unfair in many ways. It is okay to say that a man has a moral obligation to support his child/children in this type of situation but, as in the case of my brother, his wife remarried someone with lots (and I mean lots of money) but she still asked the CSA to press for maintenance. His money goes straight into their bank account and probably pays for their foreign holidays. The whole system needs looking at, but I doubt if that will happen

I'm not entirely sure myself as never had any dealings with it. Found this though from thier site:

How we work
Applying for child maintenance
The Child Support Agency will usually only calculate and collect child maintenance if someone applies for it. We can accept applications from parents with care, non-resident parents, children who are aged 12 or over in Scotland and other people caring for qualifying children if all the people involved live in the UK.

Special rules apply if:

the parent with care is on Income Support or income-based Jobseeker’s Allowance

there are already maintenance arrangements for the qualifying child

either of the parents live abroad


The amount they take is calculated on your net earnings and circumstances so if they are taking £2000 per month I wouldn't say that it is a very average pay as your salary must be more than that to allow you to live.

I suppose that once you have a child, it is a commitment you should take seriously.

Sorry to sound harsh but if you have a child then you have a responsibility to support that child financially, it is not up to the childs step parent.
Obviously I don't know your circumstances but parents that don't pay maintenance get me really angry - if you had paid in the first place then you wouldn't have all these back payments.

This really winds me up.

They sting you for all that money, yet cant manage to get a penny from my sons father, who turned round to me after he left and told me that he would not be paying a penny for his son.

I could understand if the money was for me but it is for his son, which is my real bug bear.

Anyway there is a website www.nacsa.org for people affected by poor decisions of the CSA (i'm not sure if it is more for people who are owed maintenance, but still have a look at it), otherwise I know if you go direct to your MP, they have a special telephone number which is bound to get better results than you or I could get.

I'm not saying that you shouldn't have to pay anything, i'm advised that the standard rate is 15% of your earnings, but the amount they are trying to take from you does seem a bit steep. Saying that, like the previous poster says it is your responsibility to financially support your child, regardless of the wealth of the step parent (although they may take that into consideration when working it out).

Hope this helps

fathers 4 justice, anyone?

It seems to me that the CSA will pursue the fathers who are willing to pay, more so than they pursue fathers that dont pay.

My ex partner hasnt paid me a penny in 4 years, he works, drives a flashy company car and lives an extravagant lifestyle yet somehow he manages to avoid making any child support payments.

I have been in touch with the CSA throughout these past 4 years trying my hardest to get something done but they are useless, they keep telling me there is only so much they can do & that he is protected by data protection, well fantastic, where does that leave me and my child?

The rare occasions that the CSA caught up with my ex he leaves his job and moves which makes it difficult to locate him.

I really wish to god they could take him to court and force him to take some responsibility but I wont hold my breath.

I reckon that fathers who dont want to pay can avoid paying because the CSA dont have the authorisation to overceed certain red tape.

Some men were never meant to be fathers.

To me any Father who does not provide for his children does not deserve to be called a Father.How these parasites can sleep I do not know,driving flash cars & that's all they care about.A child is for life not just for Xmas as the saying goes.

Originally posted by tosh13
To me any Father who does not provide for his children does not deserve to be called a Father.How these parasites can sleep I do not know,driving flash cars & that's all they care about.A child is for life not just for Xmas as the saying goes.

too true - girls - there are some of us nice guys around!

Just like to say I totally agree with you ! Unfortunately its true csa is all over the shop which is sad because if there werent loopholes to allow the majority to take advantage then the system could work for the genuine parent/absent parent . I my self have a son and I can quote that when the csa first contacted me I opted out of the service due to violence in the relationship but because I was unemployed at the time csa over ruled my descision. So just to clarify the csa can make you accept payment which I have to keep telling my ex when he keeps demanding I tell them to stop. As you can see this can instigate problems and also proves that ex partners like yours mini, takes us to the parents who take advantage of the system. Up until recently my ex partner paid £15.33 per week thru detachment of earnings I know for a fact that he earns well in the region of £450 per wk. I also know for a fact that the £15.33 is based on the assesment to the employer being completed by a close family friend! Also the employer collects these payments on a weekly basis and sends them to csa every 3 months and by law they can get away with this. It goes on and on. I really do hope you sort it out with the csa It makes me so mad because I know there are guys like yourself out there trying to do the the best by their kids and trying to make ends meet and make a decent life for themself when my ex partner as a father takes interest in his son as something to do when hes bored as the rest of his life is spent enjoying himself mainly in the pub. I also hope that you change your opinion of women as there are some nice gals out there to. I was the same for some years and have met I fatastic guy who loves us both. To a certain extent I feel sorry for your ex partner if the new man does as Bonny suggested and refuses to contribute toward your children. All I can say is she is very selfish and he isnt worth a light. No my son will never be a biological son to my partner but lets face does he need to be?

Good luck mini

Giggles

some time back i worked as an advisor for the c a b, go see them as soon as you can.they have a form that is the same one the judge has if you have to appear in court. on this form yo list your expenditure... you are, or were then allowed to claim expeu nces for general living even allowed money for ciggies,pictures,news papers,pet food,hp agreements,tv licence etc etc im sure if you try hard you could honestly break down your income to the point where you have around a tenner a week left to pay the csa off.also if your ex was claiming any state benefit they would deduct the amount given to her by you from her income. ask c a b what the social security pays for a child of the same age then tell csa you will match the governments offer.which i can asure you wont be a few hundred quid a week...also your ex can call them off if she wants to unless she is receiving benefit but if she is loaded is she on the fiddle ? look into all these avenues ......best of luck

my mate is splitting with his wife...(not thru his choice) and immediately the kids go to his wife and he has to beg to see them. csa get involved and apparantly they are going to force her to make him sell his house or they will change/stop some benefits??. sorry this is 2nd hand information and bit scetchy.

she also started seeing someone who lives about 6hrs away, now what would happen if she had wanted to move down there? proberbly f all and my mate would have to drive down at a weekened (if he wasent working) to grab a few hours wiv his kids. apparntly you can get a legal document to stop her moving abroad...but what if your in dover and she moves to newcastle!!.. crazy

as for the csa and money wise... he has said 100 times.....take it all.. its the kids i care about. let me see them. looks like best he can hope for is saturday and sunday wiv them

fathers have no rights it seems....doesnt matter how good a dad you are.

your bang on there mtheo,i went through 3 years of it in divorce court and on my paperwork for the kids it says " best as can be arranged " thats it ! after the solicitors made 3 years money out of me.took it back to court on my own and finally won custody she got any access but never once turned up.i think they only do it to ensure a free meal ticket of f the bloke or social security sometimes

The way this country treats fathers and mothers who do not live with their children is *pure evil*

a friend was in the same situation, he divorced and his ex-wife kept his 3 kids. For 5 years or so, he gave her £400 a month which she agreed on with him and they were happy with that. Then she re-married and her husband and she demanded more so they went to the CSA and told them he hadn't given her anything for 5 years. They immediatly started to take £1200 a month straight from his wages without even investigating her claims of non-payment. He saw little point in working hard if his wages were being taken away and in protest stopped working for 8 months. Eventually he went back to work and the CSA agreed that £400 was the right amount that he should be paying, so no the ex-wife gets £400 which is what she was getting in the first place anyway! Turns out, she had a friend at the CSA who didn't investigate the circumstances properley, she was just trying to get all she could without any regard for his financial situation. She also managed to buy a new house, car and a cruise holiday with the £1200 a month for 8 months. It seems the CSA judges fathers as guilty until proven innocent!

May I sugest you guys go along to a fathers 4 justice meeting and you will find plenty of horror stories ,some even worse than these.
If you are willing to risk getting arrested then go along and they will be able to give you some practical advice on your situations.

when you go to court they appoint a welfare officer ,usually from the probation office west bar green if you are in sheffield, i got one who im told had over 25 years expieriance with dealing with children,he asked me to his office and told me my kids did not want to see me any more, i told him i needed to hear this from my own kids, suddenly from the next room he appeared with my children, i asked them in front of him what mommy had promised them to tell the nice man that they dont want to see me any more..both replied A PAIR OF ROLLER BOOTS, ive never been arrested,have no criminal record but to ,kids played on the valley bottom we stood up on the tower,63 million gallons an hour going over the wall,she tells court she is frightened for her life as i may kill her,judge asks how high we were ,what was she doing on top of towers.throws it out of court.just another failed ploy by the lawyers

well, to keep you updated they took my entire wage and left me with nothing - so this might be the last time you hear for a while as i'm expecting to be cut off shortly. if we did this to another country we would call it a moral outrage as it stands they can do this quite easily to one of our own citizens and they don't care if you starve to death -
I'm thinking of going to the press - making a stand -
Has any of you got any suggestions or can help me make this situation as difficult for the government as possible.
By the way, I wrote to my MP and he just ignored the letter. So much for paying tax for their wages. Thanks for all your PMs and advice so far. Cheers:thumbsup: