worries they're not a good parent?

i try my best and i think i'm doing ok. babydisco seems fine, hes happy, he doesn't really want or need anything, hes pretty good in social situations, we try to feed him properly, we're starting to discipline him (naughty step, i hate myself for doing it but its for his own good), he starts nursery in the summer and i'll shed a quiet tear for my boy as he takes his first tentatve steps away from me.

despite the fact i know i'm trying harder at this than i've ever tried at anything (and lets face its the hardest thing to do) i still have creeping doubts that i'm a lousy parent and its all going to go horribly wrong.

can someone tell me if they feel the same? i know its not really something you should admit but i'm terrified i'll be a bad dad.

Even the fact that you're worrying about it means you're probably just fine. Self awareness means you'll most likely always keep a check on yourself and re-evaluate your actions - that's great.
Using discipline like naughty step is a good thing, not bad, it's definitely better than smacking him, that's when it becomes questionable.
Don't worry, if you're doing your best you can't possibly do anything more and who could ever ask more than that?

You sound like a pretty great Dad to me. Keep up the good work. Like Zebra says, the very fact that you worry about it means you're doing something right...thinking about it and trying to make sure you do your best.

Recently someone asked me if all the worrying she's been doing since she got pregnant finally stops and goes away. I couldn't help laughing - all I could say was no, but you get used to it. From here on out you're going to worry about everything, you're going to question yourself like you've never done before. You're going to wonder if you're doing the right thing a lot of the time. But it's all normal, and it's all worth it. It just means you care the world for that little soul and you want nothing but the best for him.

So, you're not alone. Just trust your instincts a little more, because it sounds like you're doing fine.:thumbsup:

I worry all the time despite being constantly told by everyone that my son's problems are not down to bad parenting. I do however feel that somehow, in some way it must be my fault that he is like he is. When you try everything and stick to it rigidly and it has no effect, you can't help but feel as if you're doing something wrong.

*sighs*

Bloody hell anyone who is a parent worries form time to time. I still go through pangs of deep guilt about my son who died in 2001, I STILL question weather I cared for him properly, and the kids I still have... I worry weather Im doing the right thing by them constantly.

Just by asking this is a sign that youre a cracking parent.

I feel like a rubbish parent daily. I try my hardest for my daughter. She is loved, clean, warm, cared for, fed, played with.... but something deep down just keeps niggling at me. I don't know if it's because I can't buy her all the latest toys etc but I feel like a really bad parent. Like she deserves better. I get these feelings at least 2-3 times a week :(. She is the most precious person in my life but I can't help but having a feeling that I am a bad parent at times. She is 20 months old. She is excellent at talking, she has manners, she can walk, run, she laughs and plays alone sometimes. She is a great little girl who has made me evaluate my purpose in life and I realise if it wasn't for her then I wouldn't feel like I belonged here. Sorry for the moan just needed to get it off my chest.

You're doing her a favour by not buying her every little thing. Caring for her partly means teaching her not to be a spoilt, unbearable madam with unrealistic expectations.
And as has been said here before, the very fact that you think about your parenting and how you might do it better, puts you a step ahead in the parenting stakes.
Worry less, laugh more :)

Thank you cosywolf that means a lot. I don't want her to be a spoilt little madam who when she sees a toy when we go food shopping etc and she says I want that. I want her to realise that treats have to be earned. They are a treat not a right. Hope that makes sense.

Here at Parent Lifeline (Helpline for Parents) we fully understand how hard parenting is and how we all doubt ourselves at times.

We are here for all parents/carers to chat to and we are open Mon-Fri 9am - 1pm and EVERY evening 7.30pm -11.30pm 0114 2726575.

Give us a call and talk your worries through with us!

You're doing her a favour by not buying her every little thing. Caring for her partly means teaching her not to be a spoilt, unbearable madam with unrealistic expectations.
And as has been said here before, the very fact that you think about your parenting and how you might do it better, puts you a step ahead in the parenting stakes.
Worry less, laugh more :)

I agree, she will benefit so much more from having your time and attention, memories of my childhood are spending hours in the park with my dad making tree swings, making snowmen in winter, etc
I can't really remember the bought toys and treats!!

I'm a single mum and think this constantly even though everyone who meets my little one comments on how pleasant and smiley she is i still question myself constantly, i think it's a natural thing for any parent to feel. I don't buy her everything she sees, shes certainly not spoilt gets disciplined obviously aswell as you can do an 18 month old and gets plenty of love and affection. You're not alone in thinking that.

We are constantly worrying whether we're doing the right thing or not with our little girl. Then when we feel like we arent doing well we beat ourselves up but the fact is everyone points out our daughter is a beautiful happy little girl and healthy too.
At the moment we're going through the weaning her off jar food and sometimes we feel so bad because we have to keep persistent but sometimes we feel like shes not getting enough so try and not cave in and give her a jar.

I think its going to carry on forever...its just a sign of being a parent, but you can only be the best you can be and as long as every day your child smiles then you cant be doing wrong.