Be kind, its my first effort.

The Friend. (http://sheffieldwriters.ath.cx/SFStoryArchive/1168211263.doc)

I can't read it as i need a password?? do i have to join the group??

I can't read it as i need a password?? do i have to join the group??
Yup, pm shoeshine.

Bloody hell that was a spooky one. Loved it, and although it took a while to get you to write something it was well worth the wait!
Lets have more like that.

Now that was indeed spooky and I am just nipping downstairs to make sure the cellar door is locked…

I’m curious, what year did you set the story in? Mid sixties? – I’m guessing because of the “streets in the sky” comment and the TV programme.

I love that kind of story Foxy.Well done ! :thumbsup:

Ta Jabs, apology for the mis spelling and omission of a word, oh and the fact I changed the name of a principle character at the end (type o) but I like to write by hand first. :rolleyes:

Now that was indeed spooky and I am just nipping downstairs to make sure the cellar door is locked…

I’m curious, what year did you set the story in? Mid sixties? – I’m guessing because of the “streets in the sky” comment and the TV programme.

late 60's Manta. Just before Kelvin was born. ;)

May I say dear friends, that your praise in triplicate has given me a boost in confidence to put pen to parchment again :) Lets just hope I can transcribe the bugger to the PC properly :hihi:

Thanks guys.:thumbsup:

That was really good, Fox.
Your first effort in the club but I suspect not the first story you’ve ever wrote “to good for that” we have some serious competition here.
It reminded me of the stories I’d read as a teenager, anything that was spooky.
And I have to admit it sent the old shiver down the back.
Keep up the good work.
:thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

Greatly enjoyed reading this, but over my shoulder I can see the trapdoor leading to the cellar and it's a bit near. It's stopped moving.

Thank you hopman :)

fox20thC, I am having a problem with a Java Runtime error at the moment. It prevents me opening your document properly. I can feel a complete re-installation of my Operating System coming on at this end. :o

It seems from the comments thus far as though you've made a great debut. I really can't wait to read it, and will do so/comment as soon as possible. :thumbsup:

Well, I've just been reading it, and it's great. :)

I'm glad I read it this lunchtime, and not late at night. :o

You have constructed it very well, from the introductive description of the scene you set, the characters, their confusion during the body of the story and it leads well to a fine finish.

You have chosen an ideal story length, for this type of subject too. :thumbsup:

ta muchly ss :)

I was a little nervous about you lot reading it.

Most people are in trepidation when they contact me for a password. All worry that their contributions will be judged as being "not up to it". I know I felt that way too, and still do, to be honest.

The thing is, whilst there are people on here with experience in producing the written word (maybe having been part of a dedicated Writing Forum elsewhere on the internet, perhaps even submitted work to a possible publisher or have self-published items on the web) this Group is provided by Sheffield Forum for us, the ordinary members on SF.

It's here for them, and is intended (and does) attract people of all ages and abilities to try their hand at writing, get the feedback from it if they choose that option, and most of all, to enjoy giving it a go.

We hope more people will take the opportunity to use this facility and expand their SF enjoyment in general. :)

Well I can honestly say to anyone still waiting to post a tale, its not as painful as you think it is. Go for it!

Nice one Fox, took me back to creepy, drafty houses we lived in during the 70's.

Yep i agree with my piers .It was a very good first edition ,now you can send in more stories , now your no-longer a virgin .oops can i say that .

Ooh that was really creepy. I was imagining all sorts of conclusions while reading it and the ending was as scary as any of them! Really well told!

Hope you won't mind if I mention just a couple of tiny points that might improve the readability. In the first paragraph it says the council are thinking of pulling "them" down and that threw me for a moment because it sounded like it was the couple who were about to be pulled down, rather than the houses!

The other thing is where the little girl says that she was "Playing Mummy." The absence of a comma after "playing" made me think she was playing a game called mummy - you know, mummies and daddies - which had me envisaging a very different direction to the story for a while!

On the other hand both of these points could of course just be me being thick!

HI Foxy,
Really loved it, and got really engrossed in the story and I thought it flowed very well. Our house is at the top of the hill, with sash windows and a creepy cellar so I will just have to make sure I don't hear any noises tonight.:hihi: :hihi:

A spooky chilling read! :thumbsup: