Ok, there's this woman. she's been single for 5 years. she's had a few casual flings in that time. a few special people, but nothing that lasted for long.

then she meets this guy. funny, witty, caring, kind, gentle, considerate, great dancer, great bod, hippy drifter, tactile, confident, good with people and 3 years older than her. perfect.

but he's a drug dealer.

should she date him?

Is it the local Pharmacist?

Is it the local Pharmacist?

.........no. :)

Is it the local Pharmacist?
Very good :lol: . I was going to ask if he was a medic.

You say he's a drug dealer. Expand a bit on that. What's his history? On what scale?

If he's a good dancer, why not ?:rolleyes:

You say he's a drug dealer. Expand a bit on that. What's his history? On what scale?

errr....small scale...the walls have ears babe (looks furtive). :D

but he's a drug dealer.

should she date him?


Just going on that - NO.

Just going on that - NO.

vote please lady...this is a scientific experiment in progress.....:)

errr....small scale...the walls have ears babe (looks furtive). :D
Sorry, I thought this was hypothetical :lol: .

I voted, no. I wanted to say that it doesnt necessarily meake him a bad person, but at the same time there's a social unacceptability about it, and the longer term repercussions, possible visits at all hours by the local constabulary etc.

vote please lady...this is a scientific experiment in progress.....:)

Whoops. Sorry.

Voted now. No.

I voted yes, cos life is too short, like it said on the poll.

He could be the nicest guy in the world, but the term 'drug dealer' gives him a bad name. Maybe when they get to know each other more, she might still feel uncomfortable with it and tell him and maybe he'd stop, who knows! It's her decision anyway!

x

Sorry, I thought this was hypothetical :lol: .

err....it is!...(looks furtive again). :D

how the hell are you anyways, aitch? ain't seen you for bloomin ages! where've you been? do we live in different thread worlds now? :)

Whoops. Sorry.

Voted now. No.

ta........:)

I voted yes. It's only a date. She's free to walk away at any point if he and his lifestyle turns out to be not to her liking and/or he proves to be resistant to change (if that's what she thinks she'd like him to do).

What kind of drugs? If he's otherwise a decent and honest man, then fair do's, but I think one needs to ask why, if he's such a decent guy, is he dealing - does he have no other saleable skills?

..how the hell are you anyways, aitch? ain't seen you for bloomin ages! where've you been? do we live in different thread worlds now? :)
They banned me, Sol :( .

I'm well though, thanks for asking. And you?

They banned me, Sol :( .


gorrrdonbennet! :o. you?????!!! for what? and for how long?

Ok, there's this woman. she's been single for 5 years. she's had a few casual flings in that time. a few special people, but nothing that lasted for long.

then she meets this guy. funny, witty, caring, kind, gentle, considerate, great dancer, great bod, hippy drifter, tactile, confident, good with people and 3 years older than her. perfect.

but he's a drug dealer.

should she date him?

The post contradicts itself a bit there. Have you ever heard of a "caring, kind, gentle, considerate" drug dealer?

Unless he is a pharmacist of some sort then something doesn't add up.

I said yes. Life is way too short to be faffing about with 'what ifs'. You have to seize life by the throat and shake the heck out of it. Carpe diem.

Or is he already on his way to prison?

Ok, there's this woman. she's been single for 5 years. she's had a few casual flings in that time. a few special people, but nothing that lasted for long.

then she meets this guy. funny, witty, caring, kind, gentle, considerate, great dancer, great bod, hippy drifter, tactile, confident, good with people and 3 years older than her. perfect.

but he's a drug dealer.

should she date him?
No way !!!

The post contradicts itself a bit there. Have you ever heard of a "caring, kind, gentle, considerate" drug dealer?


interesting point. so you think its all a ruse? what if i said he was a nurse in the army in his past? :)

No way !!!

vote please pat! :)

I said yes. Life is way too short to be faffing about with 'what ifs'. You have to seize life by the throat and shake the heck out of it. Carpe diem.

Or is he already on his way to prison?

ahh lizzie...knew i could count on you. :)

and no he isn't :)

interesting point. so you think its all a ruse? what if i said he was a nurse in the army in his past? :)

Has that got something to do with the drug dealing? Explain what you mean by drug dealing.

Has that got something to do with the drug dealing? Explain what you mean by drug dealing.

I'm guessing he sells a little weed........

There's going to be a twist in here somewhere. :)

vote please pat! :)


How did you know I hadnt voted ? :huh:

Has that got something to do with the drug dealing? Explain what you mean by drug dealing.
The bloke in question appears to challenge the stereotypical image that most folk have of drug dealers. Adds a few shades of grey to the black and white... :)

Has that got something to do with the drug dealing?

no it hasn't. just that, to be a nurse, you have to be caring don't you?

I'm guessing he sells a little weed........




Yeh. he sells the "Happy Baccy" !!!;)

no it hasn't. just that, to be a nurse, you have to be caring don't you?

You've never visited the Northern General then? :hihi:

How did you know I hadnt voted ? :huh:

its an open poll honey. click on the votes and you'll see who's voted (and which people allow a framework to dictate their actions, rather than using their own judgement). very telling....:)

its an open poll honey. click on the votes and you'll see who's voted (and which people allow a framework to dictate their actions, rather than using their own judgement). very telling....:)


Now thats something else ive learned Solomon. :thumbsup:

My vote is no. Having lived next to a drug dealer I'm biased against them...

All other considerations aside, the "hippy drifter" bit would put me off ... I remember a few "drifters" from that era - it always ends in tears :)

So I'm going for a NO!

Although ... she hasn't had a man for ages ... and he has so many other good qualities ... AND a great bod, so maybe I should say YES!

Decisions, decisions .... *ponder*

I'll come back later :hihi:

I think it depends what he is dealing.... but all things considered i think no, he will complicate her life with his activities.

I think it depends what he is dealing.... but all things considered i think no, he will complicate her life with his activities.

She might complicate his with hers! Too little information in the OP to make a reasoned judgement anyway........

Well based on the information given and the question asked that is my opinion.

God I opened this thread up and panicked! This was me earlier this year! :o

The guy in my question was an ex dealer. His family (sisters) had been in prison for it on a large scale. He was quite open about it and because of what I do for a living and my own feelings towards drugs, I said please don't involve me in any way, shape or form. He never took anything in front of me or when he was going to see me and as far as I know, he had stopped all the dealing a few years before. However although he seemed lovely at first, he also forgot to inform me that he was still very much involved in a fifteen year relationship with two kids involved. :suspect: So maybe I should abstain from voting for being biased!

God I opened this thread up and panicked! This was me earlier this year! :o

The guy in my question was an ex dealer. His family (sisters) had been in prison for it on a large scale. He was quite open about it and because of what I do for a living and my own feelings towards drugs, I said please don't involve me in any way, shape or form. He never took anything in front of me or when he was going to see me and as far as I know, he had stopped all the dealing a few years before. However although he seemed lovely at first, he also forgot to inform me that he was still very much involved in a fifteen year relationship with two kids involved. :suspect: So maybe I should abstain from voting for being biased!


Youve certainly had some experiences, Edna ! :hihi: :hihi:

She will be able to get pretty cheap drugs at least..

Youve certainly had some experiences, Edna ! :hihi: :hihi:
Tell me about it Pattricia. I'm going to write my memoirs one day...

Tell me about it Pattricia. I'm going to write my memoirs one day...


Join the Writers Group Edna, and give us some Romantic Novels. :hihi: :hihi:

Join the Writers Group Edna, and give us some Romantic Novels. :hihi: :hihi:
Ah they'd be filled with pathos and not much else to be honest with ya.

Tell me about it Pattricia. I'm going to write my memoirs one day...

I was just going to say - "You ought to write a book one day, Edna" :thumbsup:

StarSparkle

I was just going to say - "You ought to write a book one day, Edna" :thumbsup:

StarSparkle


We await with baited breath, Edna. :hihi:

Ah they'd be filled with pathos and not much else to be honest with ya.

When you come to write the memoirs, let me turn them in to a script.....

I'm seeing big cinema here. I'm seeing 'Thelma and Louise' meets 'Traffic' meets 'The prime of Miss Jean Brodie'.

And maybe make it a Bollywood musical.

:)

When you come to write the memoirs, let me turn them in to a script.....

I'm seeing big cinema here. I'm seeing 'Thelma and Louise' meets 'Traffic' meets 'The prime of Miss Jean Brodie'.

And maybe make it a Bollywood musical.

:)
:hihi: especially at the Bollywood musical. I was thinking more in the line of Calamity Jane!

I voted no because he is a drug dealer who are the scum of the earth.
BUT if this is a twizzle question then maybe she should go for it- she might get cut price Panadol.

I'm gonna vote yes.
Can't help who you fall for now, can you ?

Actually, maybe it's not wise... if for a long-term relationship. Hm...

I voted no. Unless of course she fancies weekly trips to Donny! Seriously, though, why get yourself involved with this kind of lifestyle - and she will be if things get serious between them. Don't do it. And as for the 'lifes too short' excuse, exactly, too short to be in trouble!!!

lifes too short go out with the filth selling druggie end up in the nick doing time just because he's funny and charming and a good dancer dont mean crap while your carrying his stash in your bra because when you get busted you get done. Seen it all too often "hes great when hes had a joint" but turns into a freak out machine when he cant get any.

I voted no.

People from the last generation (my mum included) see any drugs as bad. The term drug dealer to them may as well be murderer.

If he's selling a bit of weed, that's **** all. If he's selling a bit of coke or some pills to a few mates, same again. If he's selling crack, heroin etc on a fairly large scale to the end user (ie, he isn't a supplier to the supplier) then you'll find he'd be working some pretty unsociable hours.

If, like they make out in the movies (;)), he's selling it to kids - Then it's a completely different story.

So me assuming Solomon sells a bit of weed here and there (but appears to want people to think it's bigger than that??? Who knows), it's not really as much of an issue as other things such as being honest and faithful (neither were mentioned in the OP's list of attributes).

lifes too short go out with the filth selling druggie end up in the nick doing time just because he's funny and charming and a good dancer dont mean crap while your carrying his stash in your bra because when you get busted you get done. Seen it all too often "hes great when hes had a joint" but turns into a freak out machine when he cant get any.

I voted no.

You watch too much TV.

Back on topic... :)

I voted No, but NOT because he'll necessarily end up in jail. This is Britain, after all, and as they jail's are just about full it's an unlikely outcome. :)

The phrase 'hippy drifter' did the damage. How old is this guy? I know a few such drifetr types and they're often very interesting and amusing people until you need to get down to the business of living and responsibilities, and then they're useless.

How old is she? Is her biological clock running or likely to be ticking? If she wants kids, is the drifter willing to clean up the act and be there?

The 'life's too short' argument applies both ways; lif is too short to blow time on someone who's not going to be there in the long run, may not be a good provider (if the 'drifting' continues) and may find his drug dealing gets in the way of life.

It wouldn't only be the legalities that would concern me - it's the people that the dealer is dealing with and to. He may be just dealing soem weed...what about his suppliers? What about the people he deals to? It's not just the cops paying nocturnal visits I'd be worried about.

Sorry, Solomon1, on this one I say to this lady 'Plenty more fish in the sea who aren't complicated' - unless she wants complicated and in that case it's her life and as long as she doesn't come crying to us on SF abut how she wasted 5 years of her life with this guy, good luck to her. :)

No. Life is too short to get voluntarily involved in that sort of crap.

The phrase 'hippy drifter' did the damage. How old is this guy? I know a few such drifetr types and they're often very interesting and amusing people until you need to get down to the business of living and responsibilities, and then they're useless.

I'm not familiar with this phrase - Please enlighten me :)

lifes too short go out with the filth selling druggie end up in the nick doing time just because he's funny and charming and a good dancer dont mean crap while your carrying his stash in your bra because when you get busted you get done. Seen it all too often "hes great when hes had a joint" but turns into a freak out machine when he cant get any.

I voted no.
:hihi: Yes that's what I meant! Nicely put carpetviper!!!

Ok, there's this woman. she's been single for 5 years. she's had a few casual flings in that time. a few special people, but nothing that lasted for long.

then she meets this guy. funny, witty, caring, kind, gentle, considerate, great dancer, great bod, hippy drifter, tactile, confident, good with people and 3 years older than her. perfect.

but he's a drug dealer.

should she date him?


YES SHE SHOULD and all these people who put NO should keep there opinion to them selves!! If all the girls who said NO actually met him I bet they'd have a different opinion of him straight away... the term drug dealer (small scale) to me is somebody who buys a bit of weed in and gives to his mates, or buys a few pills for a night out and gives them to his mates.

So yes let her make her own mind up and leave these nieve people who have no idea alone

YES SHE SHOULD and all these people who put NO should keep there opinion to them selves!! If all the girls who said NO actually met him I bet they'd have a different opinion of him straight away... the term drug dealer (small scale) to me is somebody who buys a bit of weed in and gives to his mates, or buys a few pills for a night out and gives them to his mates.

So yes let her make her own mind up and leave these nieve people who have no idea alone

Solomon1 asked for advice from all sides not just those giving one side of the story.

A dealer is a dealer - a drifter is a drifter. As I said above, the small scale dealer gets his drugs from someone who isn't such a small scale dealer, and that brings him in to contact with people who may not be as nice and charitable as he is.

The word is 'naive', by the way, and she may well be being naive if she's expecting a long term relationship from this fellow. I may be wrong, but someone describing themselves as above is possibly not quite ready for a committed relationship. If she just wants another fling, great! If she's wanting soemthing more serious, she has a right and a responsibility to herself to consider the implications of the behaviour and attitudes of the person she's letting in to her life.

Why should we keep our opinion to ourselves? Isn't that what a discussion is about?! You have your opinion and I'll have mine - and I happen to speaking from experience matey!!!(bladesufc1) Not personally, but a very close friend of mine 'got landed' with a good looking, charming, witty and everything else kind of bloke who turned out to be a dealer. She ended up being dragged into his dealings and had a life of hell til she finally plucked up the courage to get out. This was a few years ago now and I know she thinks it was the worst time of her life.

Surely, you date someone with the intention of going into a longer term relationship, with that in mind, I can't see how such a relationship could work. I mean, would this bloke quit his illegal means of earning money for love or just think about having a child to such a person. Hardly be a great role model to your child, would he?!

Surely, you date someone with the intention of going into a longer term relationship, with that in mind, I can't see how such a relationship could work. I mean, would this bloke quit his illegal means of earning money for love or just think about having a child to such a person. Hardly be a great role model to your child, would he?!
She's yet to make the decision to date him, so she's presumably found out very little about what he's really like. Deciding whether or not the bloke is long-term relationship material, or whether he has the makings of a father figure, is hardly likely to be on the agenda quite yet.

She's yet to make the decision to date him, so she's presumably found out very little about what he's really like. Deciding whether or not the bloke is long-term relationship material, or whether he has the makings of a father figure, is hardly likely to be on the agenda quite yet.

Maybe thinking a little ahead, but surely these are the things that she should be considering to decide whether it would be worth dating him in the first place. He might be the nicest person in the world and might be great casual boyfriend material, but longer term his lifestyle might have implications on her life.

Maybe thinking a little ahead, but surely these are the things that she should be considering to decide whether it would be worth dating him in the first place. He might be the nicest person in the world and might be great casual boyfriend material, but longer term his lifestyle might have implications on her life.
If women went into the dating sphere with the idea of assessing the bloke for long-term partner and potential father suitability, there would be a lot of women sat at home in front of the tele on a Saturday night, and we'd be deafened by the sound of men stampeding in the opposite direction.

Those sorts of questions don't kick in until a little later; long after the decision has been made whether to have a few dates with him.

No way. He's a dealer. He might have a bmw 3 series with tints and plenty of bling but no.
Women who like these kinda guys always end up moaning about how bad they get treated. They fall for the charm and the bad boy image and then get hurt. Then do it all again...

If women went into the dating sphere with the idea of assessing the bloke for long-term partner and potential father suitability, there would be a lot of women sat at home in front of the tele on a Saturday night, and we'd be deafened by the sound of men stampeding in the opposite direction.

Those sorts of questions don't kick in until a little later; long after the decision has been made whether to have a few dates with him.


Only my opinion, not a rule :)

I wouldn't consider dating someone who sold drugs- and not because of the possibility of him ending up in prison either.

Morally I have issues with people who make money out of others by selling drugs. I would find it repugnant for him to buy me a drink, a meal, some flowers, with money made from other people in this way.

Whatever other people may say about it 'only being a little bit of wacky baccy' or whatever, further up the line of drug supply there is no differentiation between cannabis, speed and heroin. They're all interlinked, and the business exists on the despair and addiction of people whose lives have been taken over by their addiction.

As it happens, the stated personality traits aren't really my thing either- but morally we all have the right to vote with our feet, and I'd vote with mine.

it's pointless making a decision without the relevant facts i.e. age and exactly what type of drug dealer. If you're in your late teens, early twenties and it's ONLY Cannabis, then I would say maybe it's ok JUST, you could try to persuade him to go straight. If you're older and his crimes are more serious I would say no.

I'm totally against making drug issues black and white though, it annoys me when the media reference drugs but do not state which one. If someone is murdered the weapon is always described in detail when the only important detail is that someone is dead. To better understand situations we hear about involving drugs, espcially users, we need to know which drug is involved.

Saying all that, only you are in possesion of the facts required to make the judgement, but then again you are biased because you obviously like this guy already (you have already described him as perfect).

Whatever other people may say about it 'only being a little bit of wacky baccy' or whatever, further up the line of drug supply there is no differentiation between cannabis, speed and heroin. They're all interlinked, and the business exists on the despair and addiction of people whose lives have been taken over by their addiction.


without a doubt, this is true. However, it is only true because Cannbis is illegal. Do you dissappove of the selling of cannabis on principle if it weren't linked to any other crime, or the way that selling cannabis funds criminals.

It's sort of like saying cannabis is a gateway drug because you have to go to a drug dealer to buy it.

I am fully supportive of cannabis being illegal for health reasons.

After thinking about it, my last point has very little to do with what is being discussed.

Morally I have issues with people who make money out of others by selling drugs. I would find it repugnant for him to buy me a drink, a meal, some flowers, with money made from other people in this way.


Think you're the first person to say they vote no for a reason other than "Ooh no drug dealers are bad". I don't share the same point of view personally, but I appreciate you having an opinion based on your own morals and not going by what you think you're supposed to say.

If the 'dealing' consists of sorting his makes out with the odd spliff in a manner that's unlikely to attract the attention of the police and isn't unethical then I don't see why she shouldn't go out with him.

If on the other hand he does a significant amount of dealing in a manner that's likely to attract police attention she might be best advised to steer clear.

If he deals highly addictive stuff like heroin & crack the guys not only likely to get arrested at some point but also an immoral jerk and she should definitely have nothing further to do with him.

All other considerations aside, the "hippy drifter" bit would put me off ... I remember a few "drifters" from that era - it always ends in tears :)

So I'm going for a NO!

Although ... she hasn't had a man for ages ... and he has so many other good qualities ... AND a great bod, so maybe I should say YES!

Decisions, decisions .... *ponder*

I'll come back later :hihi:

Does she need one? :) More trouble than they're worth, sometimes ;)

I wouldn't consider dating someone who sold drugs- and not because of the possibility of him ending up in prison either.

Morally I have issues with people who make money out of others by selling drugs. I would find it repugnant for him to buy me a drink, a meal, some flowers, with money made from other people in this way.

Whatever other people may say about it 'only being a little bit of wacky baccy' or whatever, further up the line of drug supply there is no differentiation between cannabis, speed and heroin. They're all interlinked, and the business exists on the despair and addiction of people whose lives have been taken over by their addiction.

As it happens, the stated personality traits aren't really my thing either- but morally we all have the right to vote with our feet, and I'd vote with mine.

so if somebody buys u a beer or coffee these are drugs your excepting these from a drugs supplier!! only differance is that the government have taken these items off the drugs list, but infact the casue more harm than good to people who buy them

so if somebody buys u a beer or coffee these are drugs your excepting these from a drugs supplier!! only differance is that the government have taken these items off the drugs list, but infact the casue more harm than good to people who buy them

Since I drink neither beer nor coffee, this is somewhat a moot point- but I would also refuse to go out with someone who made their money from selling tobacco products, or from the proceeds of selling stolen goods, or from the proceeds of scams.

I'm not asking for others to approve my morals- but they are my morals and I'm prepared to stand by them.

So Sol darling, why did you vote no? Or is it a red herring :huh: ?

I voted no. Unless of course she fancies weekly trips to Donny! Seriously, though, why get yourself involved with this kind of lifestyle - and she will be if things get serious between them. Don't do it. And as for the 'lifes too short' excuse, exactly, too short to be in trouble!!!

I voted "no" for the same reason. Although tempting, (his good points) any long term plans that you both make could be marred by his involvement in the way he earns his living. Having said that if it's only a short term relationship, I suppose you dont have to get involved with what he does. But if you're seen in his company, you could possibly be tarred with the same brush. Difficult decision to make. Personally, I wouldn't. Good luck with your decision. :)

I'm not asking for others to approve my morals- but they are my morals and I'm prepared to stand by them.[/QUOTE]

I think this is the anser to OPs question.

Also, drug dealer is not a profession and it can always be given up. I have known people who used to be, but who now aren't. If you love someome, you love them. And if the lady in question doesn't have an issue with it then she should go for it.

Love doesn't come calling every day, and is far too beautiful to deny.

God I opened this thread up and panicked! This was me earlier this year! :o


Earlier this year?! Blimey you're a fast worker!:hihi:

Dealers of soft drugs courageously provide a much needed service to the community.

It's stockbrokers, double-glazing salesmen and call-centre workers she wants to avoid.

You only live once
ide say go for it:hihi: :hihi:

no, not unless there's a catch to this question that hasn't come out yet.

what i look for in a man - nice guy, good looking (nothing wrong with being superficial and honest about it), intelligent, similar political leanings to me, ideally similar economic situation to me, taller than me. i don't think it's aiming too high to find the above all in someone who isn't a drug dealer of any non-legitimate nature. ok, if he's selling weed for genuinely medicinal purposes to sick people (no, not schizophrenic dopeheads with erectile dysfunction), for entirely philanthropic reasons, i'd say that was ok, but otherwise....

NO NO NO

it's one thing to dabble with illicit substances occasionally (althoug tbh i just wouldn't bother with a guy like that again...really, in a new relationship, who wants a guy who can't get it up because he won't leave the weed alone?), but another thing entirely to be selling them, IMO.

yep, life's too short. for burdening yourself with the stupid self-inflicted problems of people who you don't know.

What is wrong with some of you people. Yes life is too short which means we should spend it with people who don't make a living out of the destruction of people lives and society as a whole.

I bet he is only witty when he is stoned.

My vote is NO, NO and NO.:mad:

but he's a drug dealer.

should she date him?

crack or smack dealer no

coke y/n depending on scale he's involved or if she's into da coke

cannabis yes

pills go on then, why not?

pub landlord mmmm suppose so

pharmacist ok i guess

who wants a guy who can't get it up because he won't leave the weed alone?

it's never given me that problem

not at all

No if he is a big time drug dealer - I personally find money making on addcitions low and I would fear for your friend getting or involved intentionally or not with the illegal activities.

There's other great guys out there not doing shady deals.

Are you mad - of course not. She should run a mile.

it's never given me that problem

not at all

that's what my ex said, too, but then he wasn't the one spending nights of so-called passion with dwindling enthusiasm due to lack of results. as he wasn't aware of what other men could do, he didn't think there was anything wrong with him.;)

ahem...errm...seems to have wandered a bit off piste in places...but...

wow! some people obviously feel quite strongly about things....

thanks for all your responses guys. it has proved a very useful exercise.

i voted no, largely to play devil's advocate. and found that most of my SF friends had voted yes! haha!

this has been most amusing and has kept me chuckling for most of the day.

for the record, the guy in question had a regular, full time job, but sold pills at big parties. so was small time. and the lady did decide to go on a date....

:D

Heyyyyyyy Sol! Do I win a prize?

How did the date go?

that's what my ex said, too, but then he wasn't the one spending nights of so-called passion with dwindling enthusiasm due to lack of results. as he wasn't aware of what other men could do, he didn't think there was anything wrong with him.;)

maybe he was smokin too much?

but i've got a high threshold due to long term practise

for the record, the guy in question had a regular, full time job, but sold pills at big parties. so was small time. and the lady did decide to go on a date....

:D

there lies the difference between community distributor and full timer

ok so someone's got to be a full timer but i'd rather it wasn't me

bit like policemen i suppose :hihi:

definately no, a dealer of any illegal drugs is playing a huge part in the crappification (i made up that word but it sounds good!) of someones life, even if he does it once, that once could kill, not worth the risk however nice he seems to be.

crappification
This is great! Mind if I use it :)

go ahead! crappification!