The statisticians tell us that if an infinite number of monkeys were given an infinite number of typewriters they could produce Shakespeare.

An even more amazing fact is that the Writing Group, with 100+ members who purport to have an interest in writing, has over Eighty members that haven’t submitted a story yet, or in some cases, even bothered to post anything on the Writers Forum that has now been in operation for six months.

To those people, and to all SF members that that are thinking of joining us I say this:

“Like the moon, come out from behind the clouds! Shine.”

The statisticians tell us that if an infinite number of monkeys were given an infinite number of typewriters they could produce Shakespeare.

An even more amazing fact is that the Writing Group, with 100+ members who purport to have an interest in writing, has over Eighty members that haven’t submitted a story yet, or in some cases, even bothered to post anything on the Writers Forum that has now been in operation for six months.

To those people, and to all SF members that that are thinking of joining us I say this:

“Like the moon, come out from behind the clouds! Shine.”
Yes, where are you all. Happy New year, Mantaspook. :thumbsup:

I would add to Mantaspook's comments to make it clear that, in using the word "Shine" the OP'er is in no way referring to the latter part of my username. :)

My personal thanks go out to those Writing Members who have contributed to the Group Server, and to the Group generally since its inception. :thumbsup:

If you are reading this Thread, have had a personal password issued to you, but haven't yet made any form of contribution to this Group, please see 2007 as a new opportunity to make a start. :)

I would add to Mantaspook's comments to make it clear that, in using the word "Shine" the OP'er is in no way referring to the latter part of my username. :)

A common mistake when comparing two great philosophers. :D

I would also like to reiterate that Shoeshine should not be confused with Buddha, the full quotation is:

Meditate.
Live purely. Be quiet.
Do your work with mastery.
Like the moon, come out from behind the clouds!
Shine.

Buddha

Please, please Mantaspook, be careful using the word "moon" on here.....

I'd hate Jabberwocky to read it and start thinking it's an invitation for him to start "mooning" on this thread. :hihi:

"The mere habit of writing, of constantly keeping at it, of never giving up, ultimately teaches you how to write." -Gabriel Fielding

"Don't get it right, get it written." - James Thurber

I do agree with Mantaspook on this one, well! I don’t know about the monkeys and who’s this Shakespeare?

Seriously, there are few good writers on here, but don’t let that intimidate you, they are here to help us, as they have helped me in the past.
There are lots of potential Comics, poets and writers out there, but when it comes to putting pen to paper are put off.
It doesn’t matter if you don’t know how to cross your eyes and dot your tee’s “Err whatever”, after all most of us have a pseudo.
I write strictly for pleasure, though I have to admit the thought of a best seller has crossed my mind.

Coyleys mind drifts off to his favourite imagery world…….
He hears the loud banging on the door, reminiscent of the bailiff knock.
He gently fingers the dusty curtains and brushes the cobwebs away from the grimy window.
To be confronted by a horde of scantily clad young ladies, all brandishing his latest best seller and demanding his autograph in exchange for some virtuous favour.
His mind returns to reality as he gazes upon his wife Karen and thinks how beautiful she looks this morning in her newly acquired purple day glow curlers, the flirtatious way she rolls the park drive from one corner of her mouth to the other.

Karen notices his amorous vouloir and very provocatively extinguishes her dog end in the now empty mug of tea.
Then in the most seductive voice says;
“An what does tha think that doin with that then? Tha can just put that away, does tha think it’s thee birthday or sumat?”

“Eer!, no dear, but there’s only 2 months, 1 week and 2 days to go”
Replies Coyley , as he repositions his bottle bottom glasses, rearranges his manhood and limps off to the bathroom.

Can you imagine how much dirt, noise, and space an infinite number of monkeys would take up / make?

OK, so ignoring the space issue ('cos an infinite number of monkeys would take up loads and loads of space (you'd not fit them all in my kitchen), they'd still be a stinky mess of simians!

Wouldn't want to be cleaning out that cage...

Can you imagine how much dirt, noise, and space an infinite number of monkeys would take up / make?

I can, its about 40% less than what my two kids generate...

The statisticians tell us that if an infinite number of monkeys were given an infinite number of typewriters they could produce Shakespeare.

Admittedly you would first have to throw out the billions of pages of crap, random letters, monkey drool, the complete works of Jeffrey Archer and this guy. (http://www.sheffieldforum.co.uk/member.php?u=9643) )

Hey Coyleys, my wife says where did you get your amorous vouloir – she says she’s not seen one for ages and the last time she asked for one the bakery gave her croissants instead.

(Can I say croissants or have I just committed another moon related gaffe?)

I can, its about 40% less than what my two kids generate...



Admittedly you would first have to throw out the billions of pages of crap, random letters, monkey drool, the complete works of Jeffrey Archer and this guy. (http://www.sheffieldforum.co.uk/member.php?u=9643) )

Ewwwwwwww! Monkey Drool!

Hey Coyleys, my wife says where did you get your amorous vouloir – she says she’s not seen one for ages and the last time she asked for one the bakery gave her croissants instead.

(Can I say croissants or have I just committed another moon related gaffe?)

We never did french at Wybourn, not much else if it comes to that.
So one must excuse my “amorous vouloir”, I think I may have meant érotique regard.
You can still get them at cooplands, special order.
Yours Truly
Derrick Trotter

Been a member of this group for a short while now, lurking, reading all the fine work of you lovely people and I promise I will make a contribution as soon as I have the time to sit at peace and write something that may be of interest to you. Can't imagine me being any good, but then again noone has ever read anything I have written before. You have been warned!

Happy new year everyone. :thumbsup:

Happy New Year Jess22 :)

I'm sure your contributions will be fine, and don't be worried about placing it on the Server.

We won't bite you.That's a promise. :) :thumbsup:

So... these monkeys...

Naked are they, by any chance...?

I havent submitted a story for a while and theres a chance that I wont be adding any more for a while because Im busy as hell here, but having said that, I can sit back and rest on my laurels, I added my two penneth worth.


Ok I have writers block! My last three attempts were so bad that I was shocked into a state of phobia!

Jabberwocky, you have made lots of contributions to this Group from it's very earliest days. They helped the start-up of the Group tremendously, have been entertaining and very amusing, and are so very much appreciated by all of us who have had the pleasure of reading them on the Server.

Thank you for all your efforts to-date, and I'm sure no-one would begrudge you taking a break. :)

Jabberwocky, you have made lots of contributions to this Group from it's very earliest days. They helped the start-up of the Group tremendously, have been entertaining and very amusing, and are so very much appreciated by all of us who have had the pleasure of reading them on the Server.

Thank you for all your efforts to-date, and I'm sure no-one would begrudge you taking a break. :)
Skiving again is he ? Dont let him rest on his Laurels !:D

Skiving again is he ? Dont let him rest on his Laurels !:D

Let's face it pattricia, blokes are burned out at 46 years old these days. Especially the escapees from Sheffield who can only find sanctuary in Leicestershire.

They don't pace themselves when they're young, like us older folk did :)

Let's face it pattricia, blokes are burned out at 46 years old these days. Especially the escapees from Sheffield who can only find sanctuary in Leicestershire.

They don't pace themselves when they're young, like us older folk did :)
Wait till the new baby comes, we wont see him till its two years old.!!:D

Wait till the new baby comes, we wont see him till its two years old.!!:D

I hope I live long enough to read some of his stories on here.

"Jabberwocky - THE TRUTH! How Edward Lear wrote nonsense about him!" ...by Jabber Jnr. :hihi:

The statisticians tell us that if an infinite number of monkeys were given an infinite number of typewriters they could produce Shakespeare.


I do hope that the truth behind this statement will be published in due course.

I might even do it myself...
(Hopman disappears to find sharp pencil and sheet of paper before putting on kettle. Sudden expletive suggests that kettle has fallen off when full of water.
A second attempt at afternoon coffee is made with the kettle positioned on a shelf.)

Watch for news of Schreckenbach's 1876 theory...

Ok I have writers block!

Would a Jar of Norwegian combat whelks tempt you?

I'm guilty has charged too and not wrote much over the last month of so, I am blaming it on the HUGE amount of DIY trying to get our house completed as it's already taken 2years!

More contributions will be sent...hopefully sooner, rather than later folks!
:)