Yesterday I worked 9-2 and then went straight to Medowhall (I work just around the corner) so since I only have a 10 minute break at work by the time I got there I wanted to have lunch. I went to that little cafe upstairs at the Oasis, I think its called Thyme, and when the girl asked how many the table was for and I said one, she looked at me like I'd lost my mind and said 'One?' so I smiled and nodded and said one again incase she was having trouble with the word and then her look changed to one of sympathy. *eye rolling smilie that I still can't do*

I just don't get why people think its such a big taboo to eat alone, I mean, its not like I was eating alone cos I'm a total loner, I just happened to be there alone and hungry, lol. When I got home I mentioned it to my flatmate and she was like 'You were there alone?!' like I'd told her I was in the middle of Baghdad or something on my own! I don't know, maybe its because I'm an only child that I don't have a fear of doing things like that alone, but I just wondered why its seen as such an odd thing to do??

I never eat alone in restaurants if i can help it when i am out as i have had this reaction previously! i will just go with a snack until i get home.

...but I just wondered why its seen as such an odd thing to do??
I didn't think it was. I would have no qualms about eating alone in a restaurant, going to the cinema etc. I've never encountered a strange response while doing either. I'm an only child too, though I've never given the possible connection any thought.

I never eat alone in restaurants if i can help it when i am out as i have had this reaction previously! i will just go with a snack until i get home.
I can't understand why somebody's reaction to you eating alone, or the thought of somebody else's opinion of what you're doing would put you off :confused: .

Were you eating with chopsticks.

Exactly Hecate, I was hungry and would rather have a proper meal than just eat something snacky just because the waitress looked at me funny, lol. Its like if I need something from town, I'll go on my own and get it, but some people I know won't do that because they don't want to go in alone...I just don't get it, lol.

Were you eating with chopsticks.

Lol, no, I think a jacket potato would be a bit tricky with chopsticks ;)

Eating alone, Princess?

You're weird!!!!

;)

I don't see why it is seen as weird personally but many people do consider it to be so. I think there is a distinction between the kind of place you eat though. If you'd gone to one of the serving places downstairs and sat in the oasis on your own no one would have noticed. Sitting in a restaurant/café is seen differently.

Yeah, I agree GazE, no one would have cared if I'd gone to McD's or somewhere, I just don't get why its such an odd thing to do. I also don't think its because I'm a girl, guys eating alone probably have the same reaction. I guess it would be slightly different to go out specifically to go to a restaurant on my own, but even then if I really wanted to try a restaurant and no one could go/wanted to go there I'd go on my own. Why miss out on something just because you'd have to do it alone?

About a month ago I was sitting in a Greek cafe bar (in Greece funnily enough)

I was on my own. I'd got a double expresso, sunglasses on the top of my head, a nice tan, a very entertaining book and a great big plate of Moussaka. I managed to rotate the food, the coffee and the book very successfully. I even managed to do some scriptwriting.

Happy as Larry I was. Whoever he is.

Nobody gave me a second glance. Why would they?

We have some very dodgy attitudes in this country towards dining alone. It's funny though how the people who usually sit in judgement on it are the very same ones who aren't comfortable enough with themselves to do it...

:)

When i worked as a waiter and someone asked for a table for one... i always felt sorry for them..

i always just guessed they were lonely! or didnt have no mates!

sorry..

I have eaten alone before in a cafe, if Ive been working somewhere other than my usual workplace, or doing a prolonged bit of shopping. I dont think theres a problem. I suppose you do feel a bit conspicuous, but I wouldnt think anyone would bother about that these days.

Yeah, I agree GazE, no one would have cared if I'd gone to McD's or somewhere, I just don't get why its such an odd thing to do. I also don't think its because I'm a girl, guys eating alone probably have the same reaction. I guess it would be slightly different to go out specifically to go to a restaurant on my own, but even then if I really wanted to try a restaurant and no one could go/wanted to go there I'd go on my own. Why miss out on something just because you'd have to do it alone?
I don't think I'd go to a restaurant on my own, it is a scenario I think where you go with someone. I'm glad you are happy to do it though (if required), it's entirely other peoples problem if they can't cope with it :thumbsup:.

If I need to go to town or Meadow hall etc I won’t not go if I’ve not got anyone to go with. In fact until you mentioned it I’d not heard of anyone who would refuse to go without someone else in tow. In my opinion that’s a lot weirder than people willing to do stuff on their own.

I used to work away from home four nights a week, often in a town or city where I knew no one. If I hadn't gone to restaurants alone, I'd have lived on total crap room service. Sometimes I went to M&S and got a bedroom picnic, but most nights I'd look upon it as a big adventure and look for a really nice place that I'd like to go and work would pay for it:thumbsup:
Honestly I was spoilt for four years doing that job. Meant I was not bothered about going out for meals for ages though!

Could it be because you are female?

Even in this day and age I know of women that will not go into a bar alone, they would rather stand outside and wait for their friend than go in alone.

:huh:

She might not have thought it was wierd..do you know for sure she did? She might not have had many people ask her for a table for one so she might have asked again just to make sure.

Maybe, I can understand the bar thing slightly, I'd still go inside to wait for my friend, but it could be a slightly more intimidating environment.

I used to work away from home four nights a week, often in a town or city where I knew no one. If I hadn't gone to restaurants alone, I'd have lived on total crap room service. Sometimes I went to M&S and got a bedroom picnic, but most nights I'd look upon it as a big adventure and look for a really nice place that I'd like to go and work would pay for it
Honestly I was spoilt for four years doing that job. Meant I was not bothered about going out for meals for ages though!

Ooooh, that sounds great! I'd love that kind of thing! hehe. I know what you mean about the adventure thing, thats how I see most things and it just makes everything more fun, lol.

When i worked as a waiter and someone asked for a table for one... i always felt sorry for them..

i always just guessed they were lonely! or didnt have no mates!

sorry..

Heh, see I know that's what the waitress was thinking but tbh I don't care what she thought because I know that's not the case, so why would I care if she thought that? I do think a lot of people though are worried that someone might think they were lonely/had no friends, which I guess is why most people won't eat alone.

She might not have thought it was wierd..do you know for sure she did? She might not have had many people ask her for a table for one so she might have asked again just to make sure.

True, I can't be certain that she thought that but from the way she looked at me I'm pretty sure she thought it was odd, heh.

[QUOTE=PrincessSam]

Heh, see I know that's what the waitress was thinking but tbh I don't care what she thought because I know that's not the case, so why would I care if she thought that? QUOTE]

You don't have to care what she thinks, like you said.

But I always found that the lone eaters were business women or men who were in Sheffield for work etc. I always made an effort to talk to them, cos I still felt sorry for them.

About a month ago I was sitting in a Greek cafe bar (in Greece funnily enough)

I was on my own. I'd got a double expresso, sunglasses on the top of my head, a nice tan, a very entertaining book and a great big plate of Moussaka. I managed to rotate the food, the coffee and the book very successfully. I even managed to do some scriptwriting.

Happy as Larry I was. Whoever he is.

Nobody gave me a second glance. Why would they?

We have some very dodgy attitudes in this country towards dining alone. It's funny though how the people who usually sit in judgement on it are the very same ones who aren't comfortable enough with themselves to do it...

:)


Trust me, the dodgy looks would have been there... you must just have grown immune to them by now ;) :hihi:

Seriously though, I don't understand why it's seen as such a big deal. Although personally I would probably feel intimidated going to the cinema/restaurant alone as I do have massive self-esteem/confidence issues... Cafes and coffee shops I regularly visit on my own, but feel very conscious doing so - like everyone is watching me and judging me as a loner...

However it isn't really an issue as I never go anywhere without my 50-strong entourage :suspect:

Ooooh, that sounds great! I'd love that kind of thing! hehe. I know what you mean about the adventure thing, thats how I see most things and it just makes everything more fun, lol.
It was, it was great.:D Sometimes you'd end up eating with a stranger (I met some really interesting people!), sometimes I'd take a book or the paper, sometimes I'd be really annoying and call a friend/my then boyfriend and other times I'd just stare out of the window. Occasionally, another work colleague would be working in the same town so I'd meet up with them or I'd go out with the people I'd been working with that day.
One of my male colleagues thought I was really brave. He'd never venture out at night unless someone else was with him. The girls meanwhile used to text each other to see who'd ended up with the best hotel/restaurant. :D I should have also worked for a restaurant/hotel review guide as well. :)

I don't have a problem with going to the cinema alone either but i still have to cross the bastion of going to a gig alone.

I had my breakfast on my own in Woolworth's cafe on The Moor this morning, no one made any strange comments or gave me strange looks. And if anyone did it wouldn't bother me in the least.
Had i wanted to eat in company i would have had to ask some nice lady (stranger) to join me,
but then it would have cost me a lot more than £1:85.
:hihi:

Heh, that sounds so fun! And paid for by work so even better I guess! Hmm, I guess I always assumed that guys would be less intimidated by things like eating out alone. Any guys want to share your thoughts on this? hehe.

I also don't think that someone eating alone needs sympathy though, or feeling sorry for, there's nothing wrong with it or bad about it. When I was at Meadowhall there were two girls sitting behind me and one of them talked none stop, I really don't know how she had enough time to breathe and eat in between the talking, and the person she was with occasionally got in a 'Ummhmm' 'Right' 'Oh' and I could not have been happier to have been eating alone! (I was also hugely glad when they left, lol)

i used to waitress in snobby country restaurants in rutland. rubbish work, underpaid (and i wasn't asked to return to one when it reopened after renovations because i served too large dessert portion...honestly, if i paid that much for a dessert, i'd want a b****y big helping, too! anyway, digress). if peoples' nerves could withstand the filthy looks from other patrons for coming in by themselves (unless they knew the locals), i used to make a big effort to look after people eating by themselves - let them choose tables for four, so they'd have room for their newspaper and not feel shoved in a corner and so on. i completely agree that in some circumstances, eating by yourself is a social faux pas, although i'm surprised that sort of social etiquette operates in hell. personally i find it quite liberating (god that sounds stoopid, but i honestly do) - old couples adopt you and make you feel looked after, blokes buy you drinks (rare), ladies buy you drinks (also rare), you meet amusing people, you read, knit, draw.... actually, maybe i should do it more often....

Eating alone. Lovely. Never give it a second thought. I also love flying off on holiday in a plane on my own. Luxury. "Im Free" It just depends how you look at things. :thumbsup:

I enjoy going places on my own, sometimes I prefer it, depends on where I'm going and what for. Eating alone doesn't bother me, and I've travelled alone as well (not abroad though). Its definitely a confidence thing for some people, they are just more comfortable when they have someone to talk to. I've always got a book or a newspaper with me, even though lots of the time I just people watch.

Heh, that sounds so fun! And paid for by work so even better I guess! Hmm, I guess I always assumed that guys would be less intimidated by things like eating out alone. Any guys want to share your thoughts on this? hehe.
)
I had one other option, i could have gone and sat at a table occupied by some lone female.
Then i would have got some strange looks and no doubt comments i think?
:hihi:

I enjoy going places on my own, sometimes I prefer it, depends on where I'm going and what for. Eating alone doesn't bother me, and I've travelled alone as well (not abroad though). Its definitely a confidence thing for some people, they are just more comfortable when they have someone to talk to. I've always got a book or a newspaper with me, even though lots of the time I just people watch.


I agree with you Mac. I think if you talk a lot like me,when you go out you need your own space,to be alone and have a bit of peace & quiet. I also like to people watch as you see some interesting & entertaining people walking about.As long as they dont sit with me though. :hihi: :hihi:

I had one other option, i could have gone and sat at a table occupied by some lone female.
Then i would have got some strange looks and no doubt comments i think?

Hahaha yeah, it might have! That always seems to happen in films, someone goes up to someone sitting alone and says 'I noticed we're both eating alone can I join you?' and the other person always says yes, and not 'No, I don't know you, leave me alone to enjoy my dinner in peace!' as I feel is more likely, hehe.

I enjoy going places on my own, sometimes I prefer it, depends on where I'm going and what for. Eating alone doesn't bother me, and I've travelled alone as well (not abroad though). Its definitely a confidence thing for some people, they are just more comfortable when they have someone to talk to. I've always got a book or a newspaper with me, even though lots of the time I just people watch.
I wouldn't mind travelling alone, I haven't yet, I mean, I've travelled technically alone but always met someone at the other end, the only thing that would bother me about going on holiday alone is, say I went to the beach how would I put sunscreen on my back? lol! Its such a stupid concern but I don't want to get sunburned!

It probably depends on where the restaurant is as well. Business people staying away from home often eat alone, but I don't suppose a restaurant in meadowhall gets many business people in.
I used to eat in an Italian in Birmingham quite regularly on my own (often with a book or a newspaper), they never seemed to think it was strange.

say I went to the beach how would I put sunscreen on my back? lol! Its such a stupid concern but I don't want to get sunburned!
You could always ask someone for help. It'll certainly be a conversation starter.

Is not weird, especially in Meadowhall. I usedto do it all the time when I worked there.

It's like shopping alone, I LOVE to be by myself when I shop, so I can do just what I like. I like going with certain people but some of my friends drive me insane when we shop. But if you see friends and say you're alone, they look at you as if you're a right loner!

I once had a bloke come and sit opposite from me at a cafe in the Castle Market,
he was glaring at my sausage.
So i stabbed him in the eye with my fork.

You could always ask someone for help. It'll certainly be a conversation starter.
Hahaha, it so would!


It's like shopping alone, I LOVE to be by myself when I shop, so I can do just what I like. I like going with certain people but some of my friends drive me insane when we shop. But if you see friends and say you're alone, they look at you as if you're a right loner!
Heh, I love shopping alone if I'm actually shopping. If I'm just browsing I don't mind going with people cos I can just follow along, but when I want to buy things I hate having to going in shops I really wouldn't buy anything from, and having to wait for the other person to try things on :P lol.

I once had a bloke come and sit opposite from me at a cafe in the Castle Market,
he was glaring at my sausage.
So i stabbed him in the eye with my fork.

Lmao, and that's why you should never sit with strangers!

I remember on a visit to Sheffield once I went into Coles by myself one afternoon for tea and sandwich, hadn't seen sat too long when the waitress sat someone else at my table, I was shocked :o , I ate fast and left, you never see that done in the US at all, well only at one of those Janpanese round tables where the Chief cooks in the middle for everyone.

Anyhow I don't care to sit and eat with someone I don't know.

Is not weird, especially in Meadowhall. I usedto do it all the time when I worked there.

It's like shopping alone, I LOVE to be by myself when I shop, so I can do just what I like. I like going with certain people but some of my friends drive me insane when we shop. But if you see friends and say you're alone, they look at you as if you're a right loner!


I agree with you about shopping. I love to shop on my own,as if youre with someone they are telling you not to get this or that. Drives me mad.

I remember on a visit to Sheffield once I went into Coles by myself one afternoon for tea and sandwich, hadn't seen sat too long when the waitress sat someone else at my table, I was shocked , I ate fast and left, you never see that done in the US at all, well only at one of those Janpanese round tables where the Chief cooks in the middle for everyone.

Anyhow I don't care to sit and eat with someone I don't know.

She just sat someone else there and didn't ask you?! :o

She just sat someone else there and didn't ask you?! :o

Yes, and one other time in Walshes and the waitress sat TWO buisness men at my table , i'd just sat down too :hihi:

Trust me, the dodgy looks would have been there... you must just have grown immune to them by now ;) :hihi:

......Que?

It's like shopping alone, I LOVE to be by myself when I shop, so I can do just what I like. I like going with certain people but some of my friends drive me insane when we shop. But if you see friends and say you're alone, they look at you as if you're a right loner!
I quite like shopping alone most of the time too. Waiting for people who are still looking in the same shop where you've decided that you don't want anything in there is the worst I think. I don't like walking about with people who are slower than me either. I like to get from a to b very quickly, I can't be doing with gently ambling about places like Meadow Hall.

Hahaha, that is so bizarre! I would have been so shocked I would probably have just blurted out 'are you insane?!' to the waitress!

On a slightly unrelated note, I used to have to catch two buses to school and the first one was at like 7.45 so there was quite often just me on the bus, and one time I was the only person sitting there and a woman got on and sat next to me, I just gawped at her for a while because I was so surprised then said excuse me and sat as far away as possible, lol.

Yes, and one other time in Walshes and the waitress sat TWO buisness men at my table , i'd just sat down too :hihi:
Are you sure people weren't queuing and you had just pushed in, maybe you were sat at their table? :hihi: It’s well random though that, never heard of them sitting people at occupied tables, certainly not without asking first.

I quite like shopping alone most of the time too. Waiting for people who are still looking in the same shop where you've decided that you don't want anything in there is the worst I think. I don't like walking about with people who are slower than me either. I like to get from a to b very quickly, I can't be doing with gently ambling about places like Meadow Hall.

Exactly, I'm pretty good at ducking between people so I hate when your with someone who can't do that and they get trapped behind some slow walkers and you have to wait for them to catch up, soooo annoying, lol

Hahaha, that is so bizarre! I would have been so shocked I would probably have just blurted out 'are you insane?!' to the waitress!

On a slightly unrelated note, I used to have to catch two buses to school and the first one was at like 7.45 so there was quite often just me on the bus, and one time I was the only person sitting there and a woman got on and sat next to me, I just gawped at her for a while because I was so surprised then said excuse me and sat as far away as possible, lol.
Thats peculiar on the bus isnt it Sam. I always find that I have a spare seat next to me and I always get someone a bit funny sitting next to me. Not funny Ha-Ha, but funny peculiar. I always look through the window, but they always seem to pick the seat next to me.

Thats peculiar on the bus isnt it Sam. I always find that I have a spare seat next to me and I always get someone a bit funny sitting next to me. Not funny Ha-Ha, but funny peculiar. I always look through the window, but they always seem to pick the seat next to me.

Hahaha, I know exactly what you mean, i seem to attract them! As Bill Bailey said 'I'm like a mecca for those with no agenda'. I've found now though that if you sit on the seat nearest the aisle fewer weirdos will sit by you because they have to ask to sit on the inside seat :D

Are you sure people weren't queuing and you had just pushed in, maybe you were sat at their table? :hihi: It’s well random though that, never heard of them sitting people at occupied tables, certainly not without asking first.

:hihi: Maybe they had just come back from the Lav :hihi:

Hahaha, I know exactly what you mean, i seem to attract them! As Bill Bailey said 'I'm like a mecca for those with no agenda'. I've found now though that if you sit on the seat nearest the aisle fewer weirdos will sit by you because they have to ask to sit on the inside seat :D


That reminds me of the time I flew to the States on my own.It was a 7 hour journey,and the man next to me slept deeply all the way there(think he took sleeping tablets) I had to climb over him every time I went to the toilet.Never again, I always get an aisle seat now.

When I realised, many moons ago, that I could not rely on my (then) partner for my happiness, I made it an exercise to become more independent. I purposely went into restaurants alone, I went for a quick half in pubs alone - it wasn't comfortable, it wasn't exactly pleasant - but I now have no qualms about doing what want to do. It's nice to have company, but I could happily now go to the cinema or to a show on my own, if no one else fancied it. As they say - life begins at 40 (and gets better).

Although really there's nothing wrong with eating alone, I personally can't do it. Don't know why, just can't. :(

When I realised, many moons ago, that I could not rely on my (then) partner for my happiness, I made it an exercise to become more independent. I purposely went into restaurants alone, I went for a quick half in pubs alone - it wasn't comfortable, it wasn't exactly pleasant - but I now have no qualms about doing what want to do. It's nice to have company, but I could happily now go to the cinema or to a show on my own, if no one else fancied it. As they say - life begins at 40 (and gets better).
Why not Godzilla. Live and let live. Theres a difference in being on your own & being lonely.

Exactly, I'm perfectly happy in my own company and sometimes have felt desperately lonely when I'm around other people. Its one thing I actually like about myself that I can do things on my own, I mean, when I finish uni I wouldn't have any qualms about moving to a city where I don't know anyone, even abroad if the job offer was a good one. I just think you'd miss out on certain things if you always had to be with someone to do them

Exactly, I'm perfectly happy in my own company and sometimes have felt desperately lonely when I'm around other people. Its one thing I actually like about myself that I can do things on my own, I mean, when I finish uni I wouldn't have any qualms about moving to a city where I don't know anyone, even abroad if the job offer was a good one. I just think you'd miss out on certain things if you always had to be with someone to do them


Its unbelievable where you can end up.My son started out at Myers Grove Comprehensive school, then to uni, now works in Washington DC. The worlds your oyster.:thumbsup:

I just think you'd miss out on certain things if you always had to be with someone to do them
Ah, but sometimes you miss out more if no one is there to share the experience with you.

Maybe, I do agree that somethings are good to share with someone, but if there's no one there to things with for whatever reason then you shouldn't not do them because it won't be quite as good as it would with someone else.

Maybe, I do agree that somethings are good to share with someone, but if there's no one there to things with for whatever reason then you shouldn't not do them because it won't be quite as good as it would with someone else.


Well there are certain things we HAVE to have someone there for, Sam . ;)

Were you by any chance dressed as a giant panda? That would do it......

:)

Well there are certain things we HAVE to have someone there for, Sam
Lol, ideally but if necessary you can still have fun on your own ;)

Were you by any chance dressed as a giant panda? That would do it......
Ahhhh, I see, maybe next time I should go with the llama outfit? :D

Well there are certain things we HAVE to have someone there for, Sam . ;)
I wasn't inferring that.... lol.

I have to eat alone. I have the table manners of a chimpanzee on speed so anyone eating near to me would need to wear a raincoat and sou-wester.

Eating alone has one huge advantage......
your dinner never gets cold because there's nobody else there who you feel you have to talk to! :D and if you want to be mischievous and play with people's minds, talk to yourself!

(I'm going for a lie down now, the tablet is kicking in and I can see my happy place) :clap:

and if you want to be mischievous and play with people's minds, talk to yourself!

:
Or... you can play the trick of fictitiously picking your nose and wiping it on the edge of your cup and then drinking from it, that gets most people gorping at you. :hihi:

I've never thought of eating alone as weird and if I'm in Meadowhall or town I often stop off to eat something.......alone! No big deal. If other people have a problem with it then it's their problem and certainly not yours. :)

I don't know, maybe its because I'm an only child that I don't have a fear of doing things like that alone, but I just wondered why its seen as such an odd thing to do??
Repeat the visit and, if asked say "10 people please" & gesture with your arm around you as though there's a crowd that the waitress can't see.

Tell her one of them has epilepsy & needs an isle seat