View Full Version : Should I let him in?
natasha77 26-12-2006, 17:59 Hello Everybody hope you all had a good christmas,
OK this is the situation, i said my husband could go out with his brother and mum for a boxing day drink, and i will look after our little one, i asked him not to go to mad he replyed i will be home for about 4pm (he went out at 12pm), its now nearly 7pm i called him 3 times no answer text him told him to stay at his mum's tonight, i still get no reply i call again he answers, P****d out of his head, who are you? he says's :rant:
So should i let him in if he comes home or not?
AJ sheffield 26-12-2006, 18:01 Ohhh it is Christmas after all, have a heart.......NO.
pk014b7161 26-12-2006, 18:01 why not let lad enjoy himself
Just for not having the decency to reply to your texts I say lock the door leave the keys in the locks that'll teach him :hihi:
MuteWitness 26-12-2006, 18:03 leave him outside! put a good film on and forget all about him! :)
he will be sorry in a few hours when he is freezing and throwing up!
Ms_Tetley 26-12-2006, 18:04 I'd say go out and switch the house numbers round :D ..lol..that would be fun :D
pinklady 26-12-2006, 18:05 let him in .... and when he's comatosed in bed .... apply immac on each eyebrow, paint his finger nails bright red and pour any varnish remover you have down the toilet .... go through his pockets and steal at least £20 (if hes that ****** he'll have no idea how much he should have) ... if fact, sod it ... steal every penny he's got!
get up bright and early tomorrow morning and spring clean the bedroom while hes still in it ... windows wide open and the hoover going about 6.30am should do it.
Ginger_Kitty 26-12-2006, 18:06 ^^^^ i like that :D
must agree, I go with pinklady's suggestion. :thumbsup: :D
pinklady 26-12-2006, 18:11 its been tried and tested :hihi:
natasha77 26-12-2006, 18:12 Very good idea pinklady, think i might do that, If he manages it home that is, but instead of spring cleaning i let my daughter make as much noise as she can, :twisted: that will really pee him off
ooooooh i like this evil thinking
funkymiss 26-12-2006, 18:14 It's the 'who are you' bit that would've got me!!
Lock him out and throw away the key! :hihi:
(Just make sure you've got a spare one to let yourself in and out)
Lol x
MickeyBarnes 26-12-2006, 18:15 hit him with your rolling pin
pinklady 26-12-2006, 18:15 i did the same to my husband one christmas many moons ago, the next morning he got up looking very sheepish ... i said, how did you get home last night, to which he put his hand in his pocket and pulled out 52p and said ..... by the looks of this ... effin concord ( I stole £55 that time :hihi:)
he couldnt even afford any nail polish remover :smile:
Pinklady that is pure evil nice one :D
Hahaha.. Nice one Pinklady..:hihi: :hihi: :hihi:
pk014b7161 26-12-2006, 18:31 well its nice to see goodwill to all mankind alive & well
sparklygem 26-12-2006, 18:35 Thats well funny pinklady :hihi:
_Kirsty_ 26-12-2006, 18:45 He sounds like a real gimp. Lock him out.
Sounds like he'll have some serious grovelling to do over the next few days!
Hey Natasha77.. I've just had a thought...
You could make him stay in and look after the little one on new years eve whilst you go out and party...
:D :D
natasha77 26-12-2006, 19:32 i am gonna make his life hell :twisted:
i am gonna make his life hell :twisted:
Oh dear.. I guess by your comment that he's still not home then ??
_Kirsty_ 26-12-2006, 19:43 i am gonna make his life hell :twisted:
Go Nat :banana: Go Nat :banana: Go Nat :banana:
Let us know how it goes :thumbsup:
Whatif wewin 26-12-2006, 19:51 Hello Everybody hope you all had a good christmas,
OK this is the situation, i said my husband could go out with his brother and mum for a boxing day drink, and i will look after our little one, i asked him not to go to mad he replyed i will be home for about 4pm (he went out at 12pm), its now nearly 7pm i called him 3 times no answer text him told him to stay at his mum's tonight, i still get no reply i call again he answers, P****d out of his head, who are you? he says's :rant:
So should i let him in if he comes home or not?
He is your husband you shuold know best how to handle the situation.
Listening to others may make things a lot worse.
Phone up a friend and arrange to go over for some drinks & chat etc and take the little one with you, theres some good films on for em to watch. Stay there and de-stress about how evil men can be etc...etc...
He's sure to phone you up at some point, just say you're out and will be home soon. Then stay for as long as you like. :D
You could even say: 'Who's that?'...LOL
littlestarshine 26-12-2006, 20:37 i think i wud have a minor eppy fit!!
"who is it"?? that wud have got him shaved down below in our house,, with a blunt razor... let him in and be nice to him put him to bed,, then SHAVE HIS PUBES!!!!!!
babychickens 26-12-2006, 20:42 next time there's a thread about which forumers people like, i shall add pinklady to my list.
nat - don't be angry with him, just be very very disappointed, and not find him attractive anymore until he's made suitable amends.:o
camping_gaz 26-12-2006, 21:23 sounds like theres a few unresolved issues here or some triviality
happyhippy 26-12-2006, 21:24 Hello Everybody hope you all had a good christmas,
OK this is the situation, i said my husband could go out with his brother and mum for a boxing day drink, and i will look after our little one, i asked him not to go to mad he replyed i will be home for about 4pm (he went out at 12pm), its now nearly 7pm i called him 3 times no answer text him told him to stay at his mum's tonight, i still get no reply i call again he answers, P****d out of his head, who are you? he says's :rant:
So should i let him in if he comes home or not?
So, you allow him to go out with his family for a beer. You tell him not to have too much, forcing him into a timebound reply. You pester him while he's off the leash (no doubt replaced twice a year as a 'present' on birthdays and Christ(TM)mases.).
You tell him to stay out because you've got the face on, and then expect him to talk to you after your hissy fit?
No wonder we can't do right for doing wrong.
I think you should sleep on the sofa and allow him one night of peace before the oppression starts all over again.
Sounds like the bloke should be awarded a medal the size of a frying pan for putting up with that.
Hope it gets resolved amicably.
pinklady 26-12-2006, 21:25 next time there's a thread about which forumers people like, i shall add pinklady to my list.
why thank you .... i see you admire pure evil ... nice one ;)
funkymiss 26-12-2006, 21:30 umm happyhippy, bear in mind natasha has to look after the little one so a bit of consideration from the man wouldn't have gone amiss. I also think it's perfectly reasonable that she asks him to not come home wrecked and wee in her handbag or something.
camping_gaz 26-12-2006, 21:34 umm happyhippy, bear in mind natasha has to look after the little one so a bit of consideration from the man wouldn't have gone amiss. I also think it's perfectly reasonable that she asks him to not come home wrecked and wee in her handbag or something.
love the wee in the handbag bit but the rest HMMMM
funkymiss 26-12-2006, 21:38 Wierdly I've heard from loads of women that their fella has come home drunk and done this!? Any man who urinated in ANY of my handbags would have to go out and buy me the most expensive designer one as a replacement :hihi:
My friends daughter had some what on the same problem, but her drunken husband was still living there, she'd pull out some strands of her hair and wrap them around his tooth brush every night :gag: I never did hear the outcome!
pinklady 26-12-2006, 21:39 umm happyhippy, bear in mind natasha has to look after the little one so a bit of consideration from the man wouldn't have gone amiss. I also think it's perfectly reasonable that she asks him to not come home wrecked and wee in her handbag or something.
I agree funkymiss, ive been there-done-that and believe me she doesnt want to start a row with a bloke whos piddled as a newt and have bad feeling over the holidays (he'll not remember but she will, and she'll resent and hate him even more) , i tell ya now, funny revenge is the best way to go ... then after the hols ... and when hes sober sit him down and tell him how much it hurt
camping_gaz 26-12-2006, 21:46 they say revenge is sweet but its a bitter thing to do and sad in such a trivial matter
.
pinklady 26-12-2006, 21:49 they say revenge is sweet but its a bitter thing to do and sad in such a trivial matter
when your stuck in the house with a baby .. believe me, it isnt so trivial:rolleyes:
pattricia 26-12-2006, 21:49 Give em inch and they take a yard !!!!! Always remember those words.! :suspect: How did it end up anyway ? :huh:
happyhippy 26-12-2006, 21:50 umm happyhippy, bear in mind natasha has to look after the little one so a bit of consideration from the man wouldn't have gone amiss. I also think it's perfectly reasonable that she asks him to not come home wrecked and wee in her handbag or something.
Ummmm I'm a full time Dad. I know all about it.
camping_gaz 26-12-2006, 21:55 http://www.weirdwilly.com/video/566/Hollowmen.html
choices we all ave to make them
happyhippy 26-12-2006, 21:56 umm happyhippy, bear in mind natasha has to look after the little one so a bit of consideration from the man wouldn't have gone amiss. I also think it's perfectly reasonable that she asks him to not come home wrecked and wee in her handbag or something.
Hang on a minute, actually. Natasha may have worded the situation bluntly, and my original post was meant to be a touch tongue-in-cheek, but she has told him what to do from start to finish here.
She should have some consideration for her husband.
happyhippy 26-12-2006, 21:58 when your stuck in the house with a baby .. believe me, it isnt so trivial:rolleyes:
Tell me all about it. However, my inference is that the OP isn't stuck in ALL the time (as at one time I was), but that this is a one off and she has had a hissy fit.
funkymiss 26-12-2006, 22:07 Well I remember Natasha posting a while back saying he wouldn't ever let her go out with her friends and that he is always going out. Sounds like she's at the end of her tether and this isn't a random hissy fit.
Crayfish 26-12-2006, 22:14 Wow, the punishments sure escalated fast on this thread. I was waiting for 'Kill him!! And his family!!! And his family's friends!!! And his family's friends' pets!!!'
All that aside, sounds like a bit of a todger. If it's a one off I'm sure it could be ascribed to the demon drink though, everyone needs to go a bit mad once in a while.
pattricia 26-12-2006, 22:24 What did happen in the end. ?
What did happen in the end. ?
We're not sure yet... Natasha77 seems to be offline at the mo..
She may come on later or tomorrow and let us know..
Would be nice to know whether he's normally 'allowed' out or whether he let the freedom go to his head this rare occasion.
purdyamos 26-12-2006, 23:21 Well I remember Natasha posting a while back saying he wouldn't ever let her go out with her friends and that he is always going out. Sounds like she's at the end of her tether and this isn't a random hissy fit.
Well if that's the case, and true what the bleeding hell is she doing still living with him?
If he treats you like scum, dump him. If you choose to stay with it, what else do you expect? Do something about it or take responsibility for your choice and stop complaining.
Sorry to sound harsh, but some things in life really are that simple.
happyhippy 27-12-2006, 00:00 Well I remember Natasha posting a while back saying he wouldn't ever let her go out with her friends and that he is always going out. Sounds like she's at the end of her tether and this isn't a random hissy fit.
Cobblers.
She said he goes out on a Sunday and (I'll agree, meanie man) didn't want her to go to Manchester for a night out.
He relented (quite right too).
They've also had some work probs too. Jeez(TM), can't a bloke have a bloody beer? He may not have even had to pay ......
Moonbird 27-12-2006, 09:11 Phone up a friend and arrange to go over for some drinks & chat etc and take the little one with you, theres some good films on for em to watch. Stay there and de-stress about how evil men can be etc...etc...
He's sure to phone you up at some point, just say you're out and will be home soon. Then stay for as long as you like. :D
You could even say: 'Who's that?'...LOL
I like this punishment the best, there will be no tea or little woman waiting when he gets back :D just an empty lonely house... let him miss you a bit good one :thumbsup:
laughalot01 27-12-2006, 12:17 so wot time did he stroll in an wot punishment did he get:hihi:
I thought this was how all men behaved
hazel
Greybeard 27-12-2006, 13:47 I thought this was how all men behaved
hazel
I suspect most do, for a while anyway ;) OTOH women can sometimes be too demanding so men feel the need to escape for a while.
And then there was... "if all you're going to do is sit there reading the paper you might as well get yourself down the pub and out from under my feet!" :D
slimsid2000 27-12-2006, 14:21 Hello Everybody hope you all had a good christmas,
OK this is the situation, i said my husband could go out with his brother and mum for a boxing day drink, and i will look after our little one, i asked him not to go to mad he replyed i will be home for about 4pm (he went out at 12pm), its now nearly 7pm i called him 3 times no answer text him told him to stay at his mum's tonight, i still get no reply i call again he answers, P****d out of his head, who are you? he says's :rant:
So should i let him in if he comes home or not?
Divorce him.
BasilRathbon 27-12-2006, 14:35 Whatever time Natasha77's husband rolled in, I hope she had a nice meal waiting on the table for him.
natasha77 27-12-2006, 18:20 Hello everyone, he came strolling home at 10.15pm, i was watching a film upstairs with a nice box of choc's, when i heard NATASHA, NATASHA let me in, i thought it was the big bad wolf, then another shout NATASHA let me in love, i shout out the window go to your mum's, it all goes quiet so i settle down to watch the rest of the film.
I then hear banging look out of the window and saw him sleeping in the shed ha ha i laughed so much, i left him there for about 30mins( i know it should have been longer), then told him he could come in. and sleep in the spare room. He did.
The best is yet to come
:hihi:
Hello everyone, he came strolling home at 10.15pm, i was watching a film upstairs with a nice box of choc's, when i heard NATASHA, NATASHA let me in, i thought it was the big bad wolf, then another shout NATASHA let me in love, i shout out the window go to your mum's, it all goes quiet so i settle down to watch the rest of the film.
I then hear banging look out of the window and saw him sleeping in the shed ha ha i laughed so much, i left him there for about 30mins( i know it should have been longer), then told him he could come in. and sleep in the spare room. He did.
The best is yet to come
:hihi:
Better than any of the soaps .. pauline fowler n tom king have nothing ... lol
Col ..
natasha77 27-12-2006, 18:26 So in the morning he got up before me so i could not make i noise, gave him, the silent treatment, then got me and my daughter dressed, and got ready to go, at this time he was getting his coat on, i replyed where you going? he said "withyou" then i said "no your not" got in the car and drove off. His face was a picture :hihi:
this was at 10am came home at 12.30pm trying to think what will really p**s him off
:idea:
I made him go to the NEXT sale, He hated it ha ha i got some lovely things for me and my daughter, then took him to my mum's so she could moan at him, then his sisters, it was great haha
I LOVE REVENGE
Oh and i am going out Friday with the girls mmmmmmm cant wait!!!!
laughalot01 27-12-2006, 18:29 go nat go well done did u hav good xmas apart frm that an did u get a ds:thumbsup:
yummyyumyum 27-12-2006, 18:30 Oh and i am going out Friday with the girls mmmmmmm cant wait!!!!
make sure your back at a reasonable hour or you might end up in the shed!
sorry hate to post this but sure he wont forget being punished
natasha77 27-12-2006, 18:33 i did;nt get a DS still trying!!!
Dont worry freya's mum he would'nt dare
yummyyumyum 27-12-2006, 18:35 i did;nt get a DS still trying!!!
Dont worry freya's mum he would'nt dare
in that case...have a great night!!!
Good on you Natasha, seems to have gone really well, i dont think he will make the smae mistake twice.
Christ, you sound like the devil!
Well done natasha77!!! Glad you didn't let him get away with it. He might think twice in future. Start the new year as you mean to go on - taking no c**p from ANYONE!!! Have a good un !
Well done natasha77!!! Glad you didn't let him get away with it. He might think twice in future. Start the new year as you mean to go on - taking no c**p from ANYONE!!! Have a good un !
Get away with it, yeah, staying out longer than 4 in the afternoon at christmas time. It's a good job you made your point, behaviour like that is so unacceptable. :hihi:
happyhippy 27-12-2006, 20:38 I'm so glad I don't know any of these women on this thread; there is some serious psychosis about ....... she's now already proud of emulating precisely the sort of thing she was going to use nutcrackers about ......
Man alive ....... the lot of you are nuts ........
I'm so glad I don't know any of these women on this thread; there is some serious psychosis about ....... she's now already proud of emulating precisely the sort of thing she was going to use nutcrackers about ......
Man alive ....... the lot of you are nuts ........
And the reason we are nuts is because we have been driven that way by the men in our lives coming home LATE!!! lol:hihi: :hihi: We won't put up with it any longer!!
happyhippy 27-12-2006, 21:00 And the reason we are nuts is because we have been driven that way by the men in our lives coming home LATE!!! lol:hihi: :hihi: We won't put up with it any longer!!
He's done it once for God(TM)'s sake! ;)
Well he won't do it again will he? - unless he likes sleeping in the shed ! lol
happyhippy 27-12-2006, 21:04 Well he won't do it again will he? - unless he likes sleeping in the shed ! lol
I'll put money on him doing it all the time to keep away from her :hihi:
natasha77 27-12-2006, 21:05 He's done it once for God(TM)'s sake! ;)
Well thats not true another example was, when i arraged for us to go away for the weekend, he called me from work and said just havein a couple of pints with my mate, i told him not to drink to much as we are leaving early next morning, and he was driving (i did'nt drive at the time)
2.00am in the morning he is banging on the door, cause his key wont work, next day i let the cat in and found he had left his money and phone outside on top of the bin.
seriessix 27-12-2006, 21:08 Well thats not true another example was, when i arraged for us to go away for the weekend, he called me from work and said just havein a couple of pints with my mate, i told him not to drink to much as we are leaving early next morning, and he was driving (i did'nt drive at the time)
2.00am in the morning he is banging on the door, cause his key wont work, next day i let the cat in and found he had left his money and phone outside on top of the bin.
Such fun.
Makes for an interesting life.
It's all about the 'challenge'...(thats what we call it anyway).
babychickens 27-12-2006, 21:41 Get away with it, yeah, staying out longer than 4 in the afternoon at christmas time. It's a good job you made your point, behaviour like that is so unacceptable. :hihi:
that's right, boys, it's absolutely fine to take no responsibility for your responsibilities! if he didn't want to be back by the given time, he should have said so, rather than be a complete t1t. being a father must be fab if you can do what you want when you want it without having to be home on time. oh, it is SO difficult to be reliable....;)
babychickens 27-12-2006, 21:45 I'm so glad I don't know any of these women on this thread; there is some serious psychosis about ....... she's now already proud of emulating precisely the sort of thing she was going to use nutcrackers about ......
Man alive ....... the lot of you are nuts ........
....and i'm glad i've not popped a sprog out with any of the men on this thread, if they can't be bothered to keep to plans!
have a heart, he's rained on her parade, let her have her laugh at his expense. the shed probably wasn't that draughty.
i forget where i heard this one, but railing against an unreliable bloke using tactics like that is a little like fighting gremlins with nothing but a hose and some water bombs.
happyhippy 27-12-2006, 21:49 Well thats not true another example was, when i arraged for us to go away for the weekend, he called me from work and said just havein a couple of pints with my mate, i told him not to drink to much as we are leaving early next morning, and he was driving (i did'nt drive at the time)
2.00am in the morning he is banging on the door, cause his key wont work, next day i let the cat in and found he had left his money and phone outside on top of the bin.
Twice then ;)
happyhippy 27-12-2006, 21:53 ....and i'm glad i've not popped a sprog out with any of the men on this thread, if they can't be bothered to keep to plans!
have a heart, he's rained on her parade, let her have her laugh at his expense. the shed probably wasn't that draughty.
i forget where i heard this one, but railing against an unreliable bloke using tactics like that is a little like fighting gremlins with nothing but a hose and some water bombs.
You mean didn't keep to her plans ...... he's hardly rained on her parade, he was having a beer with his mother and brother and was getting constant nagging.
I do like your last para though, and I'll just say it works both ways too!
happyhippy 27-12-2006, 21:56 that's right, boys, it's absolutely fine to take no responsibility for your responsibilities! if he didn't want to be back by the given time, he should have said so, rather than be a complete t1t. being a father must be fab if you can do what you want when you want it without having to be home on time. oh, it is SO difficult to be reliable....;)
Yeah, because you can say to a woman who is moaning about you going for a beer with your family, "Actually love, I'm going to stop out for a while longer."
She'd have burnt all his belongings.
I'd like to tell the mother of my youngest your last sentence too ;)
flashbang 27-12-2006, 22:06 Im willing my hubby to go out now and come home late, just so I can try out some of the ideas on this thread. Im so :evil: :hihi:
happyhippy 27-12-2006, 22:10 Well thats not true another example was, when i arraged for us to go away for the weekend, he called me from work and said just havein a couple of pints with my mate, i told him not to drink to much as we are leaving early next morning, and he was driving (i did'nt drive at the time)
2.00am in the morning he is banging on the door, cause his key wont work, next day i let the cat in and found he had left his money and phone outside on top of the bin.
Hang on chucks, let's just have a quick looky abouty here. Obviously what you've said isn't the full story of your relationship, but let me say what I've seen.
You've given two examples of where your hubby has had a load of ale. Once when you've gone off at the deep end because he's been with his family, and not been the nicest on the phone. What do you expect? You've pushed him into saying when he'll get back (probably because he's too frightened to say he was stopping out), and after that, you've done nothing but nag!
The above one is even better. You arrange a weekend away (did he want to go?), you tell him not to have a beer, because he will be driving you to your weekend away. Precisely where is his time in all this?
I know that there are just two examples here, but ..........
......... do you not think you're just a touch of a control freak, lovey?
happyhippy 27-12-2006, 22:10 Im willing my hubby to go out now and come home late, just so I can try out some of the ideas on this thread. Im so :evil: :hihi:
Bit late to go out now ....... :hihi:
flashbang 27-12-2006, 22:12 Bit late to go out now ....... :hihi:
Never mind theres always tomorrow.:hihi: :hihi:
Jennie80 27-12-2006, 22:48 Hang on chucks, let's just have a quick looky abouty here. Obviously what you've said isn't the full story of your relationship, but let me say what I've seen.
You've given two examples of where your hubby has had a load of ale. Once when you've gone off at the deep end because he's been with his family, and not been the nicest on the phone. What do you expect? You've pushed him into saying when he'll get back (probably because he's too frightened to say he was stopping out), and after that, you've done nothing but nag!
The above one is even better. You arrange a weekend away (did he want to go?), you tell him not to have a beer, because he will be driving you to your weekend away. Precisely where is his time in all this?
I know that there are just two examples here, but ..........
......... do you not think you're just a touch of a control freak, lovey?
I agree...mutual respect and communication in a relationship is necessary rather than playing silly games.
that's right, boys, it's absolutely fine to take no responsibility for your responsibilities! if he didn't want to be back by the given time, he should have said so, rather than be a complete t1t. being a father must be fab if you can do what you want when you want it without having to be home on time. oh, it is SO difficult to be reliable....;)
You're quite right, his first mistake was letting her tell him when to be home.
The moment someone tells you what to do they should get a short and pointed response along the lines of go fornicate somewhere else.
We're only getting one side of the story here, and even so it looks like the guy is put upon and hen pecked.
If he's never 'allowed' to go out and come home late is there any wonder he has to do when he's been told not too. I wouldn't be surprised if one day he just doesn't come home.
happyhippy 28-12-2006, 01:00 You're quite right, his first mistake was letting her tell him when to be home.
The moment someone tells you what to do they should get a short and pointed response along the lines of go fornicate somewhere else.
We're only getting one side of the story here, and even so it looks like the guy is put upon and hen pecked.
If he's never 'allowed' to go out and come home late is there any wonder he has to do when he's been told not too. I wouldn't be surprised if one day he just doesn't come home.
Which is precisely why I've been trying to argue the other side me old china ...... however some of the oestrogen section have merely been salivating over this poor fella's potential demise ........
Jennie80 28-12-2006, 01:09 Which is precisely why I've been trying to argue the other side me old china ...... however some of the oestrogen section have merely been salivating over this poor fella's potential demise ........
I'm glad you said 'some' of the oestrogen section! I feel quite sorry for the guy, I'd be fuming if my partner locked me out of MY house...
happyhippy 28-12-2006, 01:30 I'm glad you said 'some' of the oestrogen section! I feel quite sorry for the guy, I'd be fuming if my partner locked me out of MY house...
No worries ......... I noticed your support :thumbsup:
It really does seem like a mountain out of a molehill, but with the vultures circling, I had to say summat .........
Hello Everybody hope you all had a good christmas,
OK this is the situation, i said my husband could go out with his brother and mum for a boxing day drink, and i will look after our little one, i asked him not to go to mad he replyed i will be home for about 4pm (he went out at 12pm), its now nearly 7pm i called him 3 times no answer text him told him to stay at his mum's tonight, i still get no reply i call again he answers, P****d out of his head, who are you? he says's :rant:
So should i let him in if he comes home or not?
Is he not allowed a few drinks with his family for a few drinks at xmas?
I'm glad I'm single, women are all crackers! Haha
_Kirsty_ 28-12-2006, 08:54 Is he not allowed a few drinks with his family for a few drinks at xmas?
I'm glad I'm single, women are all crackers! Haha
Not ALL women.
If i had a BF, i couldnt give a damn if he went out down town or out to the local. I wouldnt phone him while hes out either. Aslong as he was faithful while out, thats all that matters to me.
Whats the point in trying to explain something your not happy with, to a bloke thats wrecked?! Hes not going to take notice. Hes out enjoying himself.
Going by experience (yes, and im only 19!), If you nag and nag at them, they'll just retaliate- more often when drunk which is when the insults come out. If you point something out your not happy with, to a ****** up BF, chances are your not going to get an "ok love i understand"
...If you nag and nag at them, they'll just retaliate- more often when drunk which is when the insults come out. If you point something out your not happy with, to a ****** up BF, chances are your not going to get an "ok love i understand"
I wish more women understood that! :hihi:
It's not that hard a concept ;) :suspect:
_Kirsty_ 28-12-2006, 09:14 I wish more women understood that! :hihi:
It's not that hard a concept ;) :suspect:
Hehe, well i learnt that through my ex... we broke up when arguing while drunk.
Now, if i had a BF, id just leave him to it. Aslong as he is faithful, thats all that matters.
... Aslong as he is faithful, thats all that matters.
No it isn't. That's a long way from being the case, in fact. Being faithful is important, obviously, but it certainly isn't all that matters. Your statement implies that he can be all manner of things (inconsiderate, disrespectful, rude etc etc), but as long as he's faithful, all will be well.
No it isn't. That's a long way from being the case, in fact. Being faithful is important, obviously, but it certainly isn't all that matters. Your statement implies that he can be all manner of things (inconsiderate, disrespectful, rude etc etc), but as long as he's faithful, all will be well.
I think Kirsty meant that on the subject of allowing a partner to go out etc.
_Kirsty_ 28-12-2006, 09:24 No it isn't. That's a long way from being the case, in fact. Being faithful is important, obviously, but it certainly isn't all that matters. Your statement implies that he can be all manner of things (inconsiderate, disrespectful, rude etc etc), but as long as he's faithful, all will be well.
No i didnt mean that.
What i was trying to say is through my past experience, if you dont nag at them while they are drunk, they wont be rude, disrespectful etc... but thats just through my experience. Im not saying its right for them to be, if you do nag them. Im saying that if your nagging someone whos not sober, then what do you expect them to say when your saying "Do this" "do that" "be home by this time" etc.
Men do not like to be bossed about, even more so when drunk.
*when iv said "what do you expect them to say... thats not supposed to sound rude, im just saying do you really think they are going to say "yes ok love il be home in 10... " and arrive home in exactly 10 minutes?!
Men do not like to be bossed about, even more so when drunk.
Whilst we don't like to be bossed about, most of us don't like girls that are a total pushover.
If I did something wrong, or was being a complete idiot, I'd expect to be told off for it!
:)
_Kirsty_ 28-12-2006, 09:32 Whilst we don't like to be bossed about, most of us don't like girls that are a total pushover.
If I did something wrong, or was being a complete idiot, I'd expect to be told off for it!
:)
But if us women didnt 'set times' for men to come home, didnt make 'limits' and such, then there would be nothing to argue over.
Edit to add:
But if he came home (my imaginary bf :hihi: ) and started acting like a complete idiot for no reason- depending on how he was being an idiot, id just go to bed, or sleep elsewhere in the house.
But thats just me.
Lindseyw 28-12-2006, 09:33 What's with all this 'allowed to go out' rubbish ?? It really winds me up when another human being feels they have the right to stop their partner going out ?!?
When I hear people say ' I cant go there - my partner wont let me' or I 'There is NO way my partner is going there'
It is garbage ! How can anyone stop someone going anywhere ???? Why would anyone put up with it ?!
_Kirsty_ 28-12-2006, 09:36 What's with all this 'allowed to go out' rubbish ?? It really winds me up when another human being feels they have the right to stop their partner going out ?!?
When I hear people say ' I cant go there - my partner wont let me' or I 'There is NO way my partner is going there'
It is garbage ! How can anyone stop someone going anywhere ???? Why would anyone put up with it ?!
Seconded! :thumbsup:
Id never say to my (imaginary):hihi: BF "dont go there and be back for *insert time* "
But again, thats just me.
I've only read a couple of pages but I can probably guess that everybody's said that you cannot control him.
I can see it from both sides really. You're mad because he said that he'd be back at a certain time and wasn't, which is frustrating for you especially at Christmas.
But from his side, and from the way you worded it, he might feel like he is being tied down and told that he is 'allowed' to go out when you say he can.
The best thing to do is not to ask what time he'll be back, cos it's too easy to get disapointed!
...if you dont nag at them while they are drunk, they wont be rude, disrespectful etc... but thats just through my experience. ...
Alcohol tends to be great at revealing true character. Many blokes (and women) are at their most disrespectful, rude etc after several pints, whether 'nagging' is involved or not.
...Men do not like to be bossed about, even more so when drunk. ...
I don't think anyone enjoys being bossed around... The OP stated that her bloke had said he'd be home by 4. He wasn't back by 7, didn't respond to texts and asked her who she was when she called. I don't think that's being bossed around, to be honest. Until she finally got a response to the phone call, she was probably concerned about him
...*when iv said "what do you expect them to say... thats not supposed to sound rude, im just saying do you really think they are going to say "yes ok love il be home in 10... " and arrive home in exactly 10 minutes?!
No, I think that if anyone states that they'll be back by a certain time, they should make an effort to be back by that time, or at least make a quick phone call to say they're going to be late. To let it get to the state where he's several hours late, hasn't phoned to say he'll be late, and is so pished that he doesn't recognise his partner, says quite a bit about the bloke concerned.
_Kirsty_ 28-12-2006, 09:57 Sorry, i think theres a bit of a minunderstanding here.
In my posts I was referring to the people who had mentioned 'allowing' partners to go out and mentioning control freaks. I should have quoted them, my apologies.
Ok, I can see where your coming from now with regards to the OP's post. Yes, he should have been home for the time he said, or if he couldnt, he should atleast have let her know.
...In my posts I was referring to the people who had mentioned 'allowing' partners to go out and mentioning control freaks. I should have quoted them, my apologies. ...
I've seen this many times on here, though it's usually women saying 'I can't do [whatever it is] because he wouldn't let me'. When either party start talking about what's 'allowed' and what isn't, the relationship is a bit iffy IMO.
...Ok, I can see where your coming from now with regards to the OP's post. Yes, he should have been home for the time he said, or if he couldnt, he should atleast have let her know.
For the record, I think the OP's subsequent actions are, shall we say, less than helpful too.
BasilRathbon 28-12-2006, 10:16 On a similar note I lost touch with one of my oldest schoolfriends when he got married and his new wife told him "You don't need your friends any more - you've got me now."
Of course, after the divorce he wanted to be my mate again, but he's since got married a second time and we've lost touch a second time.
It takes two to make a dysfunctional relationship; a control freak woman invariably attracts a man who does as he's told.......
babychickens 28-12-2006, 10:26 hmm, i don't think this is a question of whether he's allowed out or not, it's a question of him not having enough respect for his lady. if he doesn't have the decency to be home when he said he would be (and, if he had a problem with the arrangement, why didn't he say so? suggesting that he didn't bother to argue and just broke the arrangement because he wanted to avoid some moaning from her end is just pathetic), then what the hell is wrong with her ringing to ask where he's got to? why on earth shouldn't she? if i'd made an arrangement with someone and they didn't turn up, i'd b1oody well ring them to find out whether i was waiting for no good reason, and quite frankly, if they'd decided to do something else and hadn't bothered to tell me, i'd think they were a pretty carp friend. nat doesn't not the let the bloke out - no-one can do that (hopefully), but why should she just let him walk all over her? looking after the sprog isn't just her job (it isn't an easy job either, it sucks the life out of you and drives you bonkers), it's the father's job too.
it really isn't a big deal being on time or having the decency to call her. the problem as i see it is that he doesn't respect her enough or that he doesn't recognise that he has adult responsibilities...he is not 19 with no-one depending on him, whether he likes it or not. i also don't think it's enough that he's faithful when he goes out, that is such a basic level of requirement for a relationship. i've been faithful to people who i certainly wouldn't have a baby with.
...it really isn't a big deal being on time or having the decency to call her. ...
Both are simply symptomatic of the general lack of respect to which you refer.
_Kirsty_ 28-12-2006, 10:31 I've seen this many times on here, though it's usually women saying 'I can't do [whatever it is] because he wouldn't let me'. When either party start talking about what's 'allowed' and what isn't, the relationship is a bit iffy IMO.
Exactly. I totally agree. Neither person in the relationship should be bossed about, told what to do etc.
I feel its different if someone says "well, i dont really want you doing that"... because its not a demand like "DONT do that"... if you get me? No relationship should ever come to that.
On a similar note I lost touch with one of my oldest schoolfriends when he got married and his new wife told him "You don't need your friends any more - you've got me now."
Sadly a lot of men fall for this. My father stopped seeing us after his now second wife said she didn't like him seeing his family.
I don't know who I blame more tbh, her for being so controlling and jealous of him loving his children or him for being so cowardly and pathetic for stopping seeing us!
I think you should treat your partner as you'd like to be treated yourself.
I think you should treat your partner as you'd like to be treated yourself.
Finally someone says something that actually makes sense!
Alcohol tends to be great at revealing true character. Many blokes (and women) are at their most disrespectful, rude etc after several pints, whether 'nagging' is involved or not.
I don't think anyone enjoys being bossed around... The OP stated that her bloke had said he'd be home by 4. He wasn't back by 7, didn't respond to texts and asked her who she was when she called. I don't think that's being bossed around, to be honest. Until she finally got a response to the phone call, she was probably concerned about him
Didn't it say that she told him to be home by four and he agreed (probably to shut her up)?
No, I think that if anyone states that they'll be back by a certain time, they should make an effort to be back by that time, or at least make a quick phone call to say they're going to be late. To let it get to the state where he's several hours late, hasn't phoned to say he'll be late, and is so pished that he doesn't recognise his partner, says quite a bit about the bloke concerned.
True, if i'm going to be late I phone, but then again if I go out for an evening in town I don't get given a deadline to be home, so I can't be late.
The whole scenario is just wrong from start to finish, relationships are about compromise, but both parties still need some freedom or they'll feel trapped. No one should be telling the other half what they can and cannot do or when they can and can't do it. When there are conflicting desires then you negotiate about it and so long as the 'winner' isn't the same person each time then everything's good.
I've seen this many times on here, though it's usually women saying 'I can't do [whatever it is] because he wouldn't let me'. When either party start talking about what's 'allowed' and what isn't, the relationship is a bit iffy IMO.
For the record, I think the OP's subsequent actions are, shall we say, less than helpful too.
No disrespect Hecate, but you've probably heard that most often from women because most of your friends are women.
I on the other hand have mainly (not exclusively) male friends, and any one of us might use the immortal words, I can't do that xxxxx wants to do something else instead (normally tidy the house/watch crap film/just stay in/other pointless female task).
It's part of the compromise, we present it to our mates as having been told we can't, but in reality it's a joint decision. What we don't say to our mates is, "this time i've decided to go with keeping the partner happy rather than you guys, cause at the end of the day I have to live with her, and you don't spoon me at night".
natasha77 28-12-2006, 12:36 Hang on a min evryone, let's get this straight, I did Not tell him what time to be home all i said was dont go mad he said i will be home about 4pm, then i said well ring me and i will pick you up.
I dont mind him going out, he goes out most sundays with his mates.
My point was that he did not answer his phone, the one time he did, he says "who are you?" no replys to text messages, for all i know he could have been dead, i was very angery and worried, 4pm and 10pm there is allot of difference.
HE could have phoned to say i am staying out longer, then i would have been ok with it.
Please dont think i am a bad wife, i really am not, all i wanted was a phone call is that to much to ask :confused:
No disrespect Hecate, but you've probably heard that most often from women because most of your friends are women. ...
No, I said I'd seen that many times on here.
Hello Everybody hope you all had a good christmas,
OK this is the situation, i said my husband could go out with his brother and mum for a boxing day drink, and i will look after our little one, i asked him not to go to mad he replyed i will be home for about 4pm (he went out at 12pm), its now nearly 7pm i called him 3 times no answer text him told him to stay at his mum's tonight, i still get no reply i call again he answers, P****d out of his head, who are you? he says's :rant:
So should i let him in if he comes home or not?crikey..4 hours and youir on his back ? use the time to get playful with your child,visit a friend,go for a walk,run,sleep,church for heavens sake,if hes drunk and with his mother i cant see him bieng in a brothel can you?????
natasha77 28-12-2006, 14:57 hi folks its martin here natashas hubby sober by the way .i would like to thank you all for kind contributions to this link my god you women can be evil.i dare not go out and get drunk in case i awake in the morning with no hair and makeup all over my face,
peace now rains in the sandy house tune in later for next compelling episode of the mr and mrs show:thumbsup:
Lindseyw 28-12-2006, 15:05 hi folks its martin here natashas hubby sober by the way .i would like to thank you all for kind contributions to this link my god you women can be evil.i dare not go out and drunk in case i awake in the morning with no hair and makeup on peace now rains in the sandy house tune in later for next compelling episode of the mr and mrs show:thumbsup:
:suspect: :suspect: :suspect:
hi folks its martin here natashas hubby sober by the way .i would like to thank you all for kind contributions to this link my god you women can be evil.
She let you in then?! :hihi:
... tune in later for next compelling episode of the mr and mrs show:thumbsup:
I can't wait! Should write for the Sun ;) :thumbsup:
lauren84 28-12-2006, 16:08 To be honest - i rather would have him coming back late and really ****** if he is out drinking:-
1) I am asleep already and do not have to put up with him
2) He just falls asleep and doesnt bother me even if I happen to be awake.
Otherwise if he is just slightly merry the lovey dovey thing goes on and it is annoying!!!! :help:
|
|