I have a domestic short hair cat who is very independent. He spends a lot of time outside due to the fact that both me and my partner work full time. It's not fair to lock him in the house whilst we are out every day at work as he is just not an indoors cat, so we put him out. He has our garage to shelter in and food outside and this has never been a problem before.

To cut a long story short we have noticed that he is going to an old woman who lives across the road. When we put him out in a morning before setting off to work he goes and sits on her drive or on her front doorstep and miaows like he does with us when he wants letting in. He's a fairly timid cat so he wouldn't do this to anyone who hadn't invited it. I've since caught her putting a bowl out for him on her front doorstep and I assume it was milk. I have had last week off work and have clearly seen when she has opened her front door, that my cat has been curled up on a cat bed inside her home. I think what has been happening is that she has been having him in on a morning, and putting him back out before we get back from work so we know no different. She either doesn't care that I'm off this week and can see everything that is going on or she hasn't noticed.

I have mixed feelings about it. On one hand I think that at least it's good for my cat as he is getting comfort and companionship whilst we are out so I should stop being so selfish, and he loves it. In fact, I think he is hardly spending any time outside anymore and is playing us off against each other! On the other hand this is MY cat and I certainly know I would never let someone elses cat into my house to look after on a regular basis and treat it like my own.

The main problem is that apparently she has stolen someone's cat before and given it away as she ruled that they were not looking after the cat. It ended up going to court and the RSPCA got involved and it got very nasty and the couple lost their cat. Apparently. I stress the word apparently because this has been told to me by neighbours and family, so it probably has some element of truth to it but then again, it's chinese whispers so the story has probably changed substantially from the truth. Even though I know that my cat is well looked after, and if the RSPCA were involved then I'm sure nothing would come of it, I am conscious that I do not want to start a war with her by asking her not to have my cat in her house in case she gets vindictive and does the same thing with us. Last Saturday we took my cat to get him micro chipped so it will be easier to prove ownership if she does do anything like this. I have also put a tag on his collar in addition to his name tag which states that he is micro chipped, so I hope she sees this.

Opinions and input would be appreciated. What would you do? What happens in a case like this if she does call the RSPCA, would they inspect him and my house to make sure he is being looked after?

hmm, really not sure what I'd do in this instance. Our cats have a cat flap but someone kept feeding our longhaired cat who got very ill as they fed her normal milk which she is intolerant to.

I don't like it when people feed cats as you just don't know what they can/can't have.

If your cat has a tag there is no reason why she should be taking it in, if she thought it was a stray fair enough, but she shouldn't be taking it in.

Perhaps you could go over and suggest that if she wants the cat's company during the day she only has to ask and perhaps you could arrange some sort of 'pet share' so that puss always has someone to go to. You could maybe drop your cat over at her house in the morning when you go and pick it up again when you come home?

Thing is, as you say the cat is happy and it wouldn't normally have anyone there during the day so it does seem a bit sad to say 'no don't have it while we're not there'.

Sorry this isn't really much help, I hope you get it sorted without things turning nasty.

If you shut the cat out all day it will find somewhere else where it's warm, not much you can do apart from get a cat flap. Telling her not to let it in won't really help the cat and it will probably sit outside in the cold until it gets the message then find someone else who will let it in.

I have to admit, I wouldn't be without our cat flap now. It gives the cats the freedom they need and they have a direct escape route into the house should there be danger outside.

If you're worried about stray cats getting in through it you can buy a magnetic one where you attach a magnet to your cat's collar so that only your cat can get through the flap.

If your cat is being cared for, I wouldn't worry too much about her letting the cat in her house if you aren't too uncomfortable with it. What I would do is go and have a word with her so that she is aware that you are aware of what is going on. Have a joke about it with her. You could ask her not to feed him so that he comes back home for food if you are worried he may stay with her all the time. Maybe she justs wants some company. If the story was true and the other couple did lose their cat then the rspca must have found something wrong. What about saying how good she is with cats and that she should get one too. She may be lonely.

Have a good think about whether or not you want this woman in your cats life and take it from there. But I would speak to her because you don't want her to think that you pay so little attention that you haven't noticed!

Give him some treats when he comes home :thumbsup:

Good luck

i wouldnt worry about it my mums boyfriend seems to have adopted a male cat,my mums fella doesnt class the cat(named big cat cus of his enormous size:hihi: )as his own but he comes in the house for food and sleeps in there then wonders off to whereever he goes occassionly and has been doing this for the past 8 years or so.

the only thing you may have to woory about is if she decides to start worming or fleaing your cat(if youve already done it)other then that i wouldnt be concerend she probly just enjoys the company as much as your cat does at least shell no hes not a stray now if he has a collar and tag on:thumbsup:

we had a cat come in during last summer,,, he used to sit and look at my fish he belongs to next door but one, i went round and asked if it was ok if we fed him cos sum times he sat meowing at me and i didnt just wanna feed him, she was fine about it, but since we have out own kittens he hasnt really been back, the woman the other way next door but one kept our kitten over night once and i was fuming! it was one of the first times i had let him out she had seen him on my back garden come round and took him!! he had a tag on his collar with my mobi and home numb and she didnt ring me! im a full time mom and always at home so i knew she hadnt tried it was only when i went round the next morning seeing if anyone had seen him she said oh hes here! she said he looked under nourished but i had to explain to her he had been very ill with cat flu and althought he was 5 months old he was much smaller, hes now a very big fluffy longhaired kitten and wenever i see her she says hows that skinny cat u have or comments as such! she even had the cheek to bring round cat milk once (cos it will do him good!!) :loopy:

A couple of my cats do this, particularly to retired women who are at home all day. I just make sure that my neighbours have a good supply of cat food so it's not costing them anything, particularly if they have a meagre pension.

I found it quite a nice ice breaker when I moved into my street and it certainly doesn't harm to be on good terms with neighbours.

Although your situation is a bit darker, it's probably the cat's choice where it lives, and as long as it's happy and isn't forcibly kept in, should be ok.

Thanks so much, you've really put my mind at rest and it's nice to see other people's perspective of the situation. I'll mull it over with the other half and see what he thinks about going around to talk to her about it or even take some cat food around as alchresearch does. I would have a cat flap but I have glass type of doors so I don't think I would be able to fit one in them. And as I'm writing my cat is curled up in his basket contentedly purring away so he can't be too unhappy with the situation. I guess as long as he's ok with it then I should be!

Thanks again for your help.

Did you know you can get cat flaps for walls, gempud? That way if you have glass doors, you can still put a hole in the wall and the cat flap is sort of elongated so that it goes all the way through the wall... hold on, will find a linky.

Just done a search and there are quite a few cat flaps now that are suitable for walls as well as doors but if you want a liner for the wall here it is -
http://www.petcompany.co.uk/acatalog/Online_Catalogue_Cat_Flaps_9.html
see the 5th one down - 'cat mate wall liner' This is only suitable for certain cat flaps remember.

Well, whatever you decide is the best approach, I'd make sure you DO approach her, as it's important to establish what her perspective is with regard to keeping your cat company. If you wait until he is taking medication or a similar situation, and you two don't have a working relationship over your cat, you could find looking after his needs whilst ill become impossible :(

I think we've all met one of those people who know what's best for our dog/cat/child/partner/..... ;)

gempud - we have got a cat-flap in a glass ( back ) door.
We had to take the door to the local Glass suppliers to get
the ( circular ) hole cut: it cost £12.50 a couple of years ago.
It's been worth every penny, as Her Ladyship can now bring in
all the mice and voles she catches, without the inconvenience
of jumping up onto the windowsill!

I may look into getting one put into the back door then, I don;t think I like the idea of having one put in the wall as I suppose it's kind of irreversable!

Thanks for your help everyone!

i wouldnt worry too much as long as the cat is happy!
when i moved into my house last year i assumed the cat that was always meaowing at my kitchen window was a stray or lost as she looked very mucky and was really hungry! turns out she is in fact my neighnours cat, but they never seem to let her inside so she kind of adopted me!
as i type this she is curled up on my bed and very content and well fed and looks miles better than when she first turned up. ive not brought it up with my neighbour or vice versa, but she must know as on returning from work at the same time as her, the cat followed me to my door despite my neighbour doing the old cat talk-thing people do to cats!

Its sounds realy selfish but I would be rather angry if my cat took up rrsidence in someone elses house. Maybe they want to make us jealous. They probably play us off against each other to get their own twisted way, hmmm.. never going to look at kittens in the same light again LOL.

gempud - ours is a "Glass Fitting Cat Flap",
made by CATMATE.
They come in white or brown.

Just done a search and there are quite a few cat flaps now that are suitable for walls as well as doors but if you want a liner for the wall here it is -
http://www.petcompany.co.uk/acatalog/Online_Catalogue_Cat_Flaps_9.html
see the 5th one down - 'cat mate wall liner' This is only suitable for certain cat flaps remember.

This was useful to me too! I wondered if you could get one for a French Door which is double glased, and you can, but you have to get it installed in a new panel specially cut. So its not just a case of cutting the existing double glazing. Anyone else done this?

gempud - we have got a cat-flap in a glass ( back ) door.
We had to take the door to the local Glass suppliers to get
the ( circular ) hole cut: it cost £12.50 a couple of years ago.
It's been worth every penny, as Her Ladyship can now bring in
all the mice and voles she catches, without the inconvenience
of jumping up onto the windowsill!

Thanks for this info too. Has it affected the double glazing?

I think we've all met one of those people who know what's best for our dog/cat/child/partner/..... ;)

Usually called the mother in law :hihi:

I came across a situation that happened to some friends of of mine, they owned a long haired Persian cat. The cat was groomed, well fed looked after and it had access into the house most of the time. Then the the cat started to go absent for long periods, a lady who lived near by had a cat flap and it was taking up residence in her home.
The cat stopped coming home to them and she even had the cheek to deliver a letter to my friends house informing them it was with her, after a time the cat started to look a very shabby and developed knots in its fur.
Then one morning the lady came to my friends house, explaining about what a bad state the cats fur was in.
She then had the audacity to say arrangements had been made to have it clipped and told them how much it would cost to have this done, my friends fear of the thought that some official authorities may be involved gave her part of the sum to get this done.

I wont tell you what comment i made to my friends about this.

:mad:

That was my concern with the op in this case :(

Thanks for this info too. Has it affected the double glazing?

Goodness me!! We haven't got double glazing!!
(and, yes, it is very draughty in our house!)

Just to let you all now my bloke passed her house the other day and she was out on the door step putting a bowl down. He asked if the cat was bothering her and she said very nicely that he wasn't and that she just liked to put some milk down for him every day. She didn't mention him going inside her house but she seems to just want to be nice to him.

I can stop worrying now! On another note the whole 'cat flap into the glass back door' thing has prompted talks of getting a dog and having a dog flap in the glass back door so both animals would be able to use it. Currently looking into how much it would cost to get it put into the glass so thanks for that info!

If it's going to be a dog flap, make sure the internal door is very secure too - small children can fit through some dog flaps :shocked:

Well I certainly don't want to come home from work to find a small child wandering my house!!

If we do get a dog it would be quite a small dog - ideally a West Highland Terrier or round about that kind of size, so hopefully the flap wouldn't be that big. Plus our back garden is closed off so no one can easily get round there, so hopefully we won't find any stray children!

Just to let you all now my bloke passed her house the other day and she was out on the door step putting a bowl down. He asked if the cat was bothering her and she said very nicely that he wasn't and that she just liked to put some milk down for him every day. She didn't mention him going inside her house but she seems to just want to be nice to him.



Glad to hear that it's not likely to be a 'hostile takeover' situation- she sounds like the sort of person that you could go and talk to about the situation if the need ever arose. Now she knows that you're aware of her putting the milk down, and that he's definitely not unwanted by you, then maybe she'll treat him a bit more like a visitor than a resident too.

Well I certainly don't want to come home from work to find a small child wandering my house!!

If we do get a dog it would be quite a small dog - ideally a West Highland Terrier or round about that kind of size, so hopefully the flap wouldn't be that big. Plus our back garden is closed off so no one can easily get round there, so hopefully we won't find any stray children!
They don't hang around, they open the front door for larger members of the gang to enter - and leave with your electrical goods :(

Glad to hear that it's not likely to be a 'hostile takeover' situation- she sounds like the sort of person that you could go and talk to about the situation if the need ever arose. Now she knows that you're aware of her putting the milk down, and that he's definitely not unwanted by you, then maybe she'll treat him a bit more like a visitor than a resident too.

Is she aware that your guy is the cats owner or did she just think he was taking a friendly interest?