Is it only my baby who will only settle on his tummy????
From day 1 he has never settled on his back and now really only ever sleeps
on his tummy, even at night. He is now 3 months old and has been sleeping straight through the night for about 3.5 weeks. I daren`t tell the health visitor as I know I will be in for a telling off. As some people have pointed out though, years ago mothers were advised to put babies to sleep on their fronts. So my question is, how bad is it really? At the moment he is still in our room and sleeps only inches from my face in his crib. He is soon to go in his own room as he is fastly out:confused: growing the crib but I am worried as I won`t be able to check on him as quick as I can now.
:confused:

I think it becomes less of an issue once they can move around a little on their own.
My suggestion would be to buy an apnoea alarm. If he stops breathing an alarm will sound and although they can be expensive it provides vast peace of mind. We've got them for our twins who had breahting troubles in the early stages.
eBay does them cheaper than places like Mothercare but you have no guarantees if it isn't perfect.
But then people are right, mothers were well advised to sleep the baby on their front and they survived but the 'Back To Sleep' campaign is well researched too.
I'd say bite the bullet, let your son sleep how he pleases and buy an alarm.

Mine has always enjoyed sleeping on his tummy, too. As soon as he could turn himself over, that was it. Don't panic! They say that once they can turn themselves over on their own, the risk decreases drastically anyway. Our health visitor just said to turn him back over whenever we noticed he was on his tummy, but really not to worry about it, and certainly not to bother as far as getting up in the night to turn him.

Hope that helps

Thanks mummies! 1st time mum and after 3 months its a lot easier but you still worry naturally, so its good to talk to other parents!!!

you're right about the years old thing for sleeping them on their bellies. it's still the norm in various other places, too (france for one, judging by how french baby grows have the poppers up the back - most inconvenient for us!).

if that's the way your baby sleeps best then i really wouldn't worry about it - you've tried to get him on his back but he's just happier on his front. chances are that he wouldn't do that if it was really that bad for him (hey, it's not like it's addictive or anything), maybe he actually finds it easier to breathe on his front. not everyone is physiologically identical, after all.

My little boy is 12 months and has only recently taken to sleeping on his tummy. I have a different problem though - he sleeps on his tummy, then wakes up and cries because he can't yet turn back over. Is this unusual in a child of that age? I can't seem to teach him to turn back over either! Quite often as soon as I turn him onto his back, he turns back onto his tummy, falls asleep, then wakes up shortly afterwards crying again.:huh:

I'm just not really sure what "sleep through the night" actually means. baby babychicken is now nearly 3 months old, and for all but 5 weeks of that has been letting us go to bed around midnight and not feed her until 7.30, and we wake her to offer her the midnightish feed as she's already slept for 2 or 3 hours by then. Does this count as sleeping through the night? Should we not be waking her to feed her at midnight? I'd consult gina ford, but i find her far too obnoxious to inflict that on myself.

Thank you all (or at least whoever replies)!

Hiya,
We let our twins wake to feed at will and over time that stretched longer and longer, now at 10 months they sleep 7.30 (ISH) to 7.00am (ISH), have a bottle then go back to sleep for an hour.
If you were to follow what we did from 3 months it goes like this:
Bed at 8.30pm or after nearest bottle, top up if required.
Feed whenever she wakes and keep putting her back to bed until a normal getting up time for you.
Plus the controlled crying method - one minute each time for the first 3 nights, 2 minutes each time for next 3 nights and so on, never beyond 5 minutes though. We did it from 10 weeks and it worked pretty well - just make sure you go in if she sounds hysterical or similar.
I think in effect you've cracked it and techinically she's going most of the night - ours are definitely going all night and I think this is what you're aiming for. The overnight feeds were frequent at one stage but get later and less frequent as time goes on.
I don't intend for this to be patronising, just sharing what we did.
Now we made bedtime earlier because they've learnt the diurnal pattern and developed a routine, no problems.... cept for the teething bit! :D

It sounds to me as though she is doing really well. Both mine wanted feeding day and night every 2 hours. When they got to 6 months, I said "enough is enough" and stopped feeding them after they went to bed. It surprised me how quickly they adapted to this decision. They soon got fed up of being offered water in the night, it wasn't worth disturbing their sleep for!:hihi:

I agree with you about Gina Ford. I know people who follow her advice to the letter and have become absolutely ruled by her guidelines. The woman doesn't actually have any kids herself.:huh:

Hi

At that age 'sleeping through the night' can mean sleeping through for 6 hours at a time. We found our LO slept through when he started getting more physical activity ehen he started crawling so round about 9 months.

Hiya,

I asked my hv and they class sleeping thru as going 6hours, my daughter goes down about 7 and wakes anytime from 5-8 so shes classes as sleeping through,

Some babies take ages to sleep through it depends on them as babies

Sleeping through the night? Ah I can only dream..... I had two or three nights where babyHels slept 4hours at night and thought at last things were going to get gradually better. But, he's back to waking every two hours again :(

I never in a million years considered waking cosycub once he was asleep, not for anyone. Babies have their own rhythms, and from lots of anecdotal evidence, they do very well if you let them move along at their pace. Now he sleeps through, and he eats at normal times, and no struggling at all with routines and rules that make you feel inadequate and out of control.
I am NOT a fan of Gina and others like her. I think they harm rather than help, honestly.

I never in a million years considered waking cosycub once he was asleep, not for anyone. Babies have their own rhythms, and from lots of anecdotal evidence, they do very well if you let them move along at their pace. Now he sleeps through, and he eats at normal times, and no struggling at all with routines and rules that make you feel inadequate and out of control.
I am NOT a fan of Gina and others like her. I think they harm rather than help, honestly.

I agree - at least going with the experience i've had with my sprog, babies are capable of developing their own routines. besides, i get really ratty if people wake me when i'm tired, so why i'd deliberately do that to m'sprog just because gina ford doesn't like babies sleeping later than 7.30am i don't know. the only reason i wake baby babychickens to feed her late at night (with increasingly small feeds) is to make sure i get a good night - it think it's fine to expect her to be a little bit amenable - the late feed will hopefully be dropped within a couple of weeks.

gina ford.... Boo! Hiss!

I would have classed sleeping through the night as 5 to 6 hours and would have taken 5 quite happily. Little darling got up every night until he was 5 years old! Didn't want feeding, or changing desperately - just woke up!
My sister's new baby - three months old and already going from 10pm til 6am! Don't know how she does it!

Every sproglette is different.

Surfin jnr no.2 goes to bed after her last bottle by 7.30pm and does the full 12 hours. That would be great except for the fact that surfin jnr no.1 wakes up at 3 in the morning and shouts me in as his covers have come up over his feet!!!!

He's up every day, without fail, at 06.07am! I thought that with him starting school recently he'd sleep longer, but not the case as yet.

Hey Ho.

Jim:thumbsup:

Hi,

I was just wondering if at 3 months old there is a 'usual' pattern of sleeping and feeding through the night for babies? My son has a feed at around seven before going to sleep and his night time wakings vary every night by quite a lot. Sometimes he will wake up at around 11-12pm then 2-3am then 5 -6am, but other nights he has slept right through from 7pm to 3am and then not woken till 7am (which has been brill!) We tried waking him for feeds at around 10.30pm before going to bed but on these nights he seems to wake up more than if we let him sleep through. Theses variations are not a problem but I was just curious to see what other parents have experienced sleep-wise with babies of this age...? Also does there seem to be a difference between girls and boys? What age have most of you found that your baby settles into a routine through the night? (My son is breastfed by the way).

breast or bottle fed?

when i was breastfeeding i'd be up routinely every3 hours for a feed that lasted two hours. when i switched to bottle feeding (expressed milk) at about 5 weeks she started feeding faster and would go for longer periods between feeds.

Hiya Jellyfish and congrats on his arrival, glad to see you online again.
Our girls went through all this but we started dreamfeeding them around 10 weeks ish and the time between feeds slowly grew longer. I don't think it's predictable for ages but at 12 weeks we started getting them into a routine of bedtimes and dreamfeeds and so on and I think it made a difference.... the diurnal routine and so on.
Best of luck with it and hope to see you at Jellytots.

Hi Zebra - thanks! What do you mean by dream feeding? I will try to make it down to jellytots sometime...

Baby chickens - I am breastfeeding only.

It's funny that even three or four feeds a night still seems like a blessing compared to those first few weeks! :)

Hi Zebra - thanks! What do you mean by dream feeding? I will try to make it down to jellytots sometime...

Baby chickens - I am breastfeeding only.

It's funny that even three or four feeds a night still seems like a blessing compared to those first few weeks! :)

um, on rereading your post you did say you were breastfeeding. i have the attention span of a daddylonglegs and didn't read the whole thing, sorry.

babybabychickens was predictably sleeping through from 11-8 by the time she was 6 weeks old, but i think this is a miracle compared to most babies. didn't do me any good anyway as i was still up expressing every 2 hours for 45 minutes trying to increase my supply sufficiently to feed her properly.

My daughter has just started sleeping though the night (9pm to 8am) at ten weeks old and she is 100% breastfed.

Before this her sleep patterns varied a lot...I usually got a block of 4/6 hours of sleep, though some nights I was up several times and got a lot less !!!

Jellyfish.
'Dream Feeding' is the art of giving your baby a late feed without waking them up, I think this is only possible with bottle babies (please correct me if I am wrong) as my daughter refuses to nurse unless she is fully awake, her lips are sealed shut !

Dream feeding is supposed to be possible for both breastfed and bottlefed babies, and I thought it sounded fantastic...but cosycub would take neither breast nor bottle if picked up in the night, so I had to give it up as a bad job... wish it had worked for him, though.

Ah I see. Dreamfeeding doesn't work for baby jellyfish either - inasmuchas he doesn't sleep for any longer if he has an extra feed - he just takes it as a bonus meal!

Hi Jellyfish, I fed my son on demand and he stirred for feeds every two hours 24/7 for nearly a year! Mind you, I had got rightfully tired of it by then and started to just soothe him back to sleep offering only water from a sippycup so he was only getting one or maybe two milk feeds through the night. Thinking back now I am sure this would have worked earlier, but I hadn't realised or considered it (i.e. starting to 'manage' the demand feeding) - and then a year had passed..!
.

Hi Henrietta, I can well believe a year just flying past without realising. I'm sure the rules if time change or warp or something the moment you get pregnant!! I'm going to bear the whole using cooled water trick in mind if baby jellyfish hasn't settled in a few months. Although at night I'm loathe to try new things in case they dont work and then I'm up all night...:rolleyes: PS - darn, I keep writing replies under my partner's login!! Jellyfish x

My daughter has been sleeping from 11:30pm til 8:00am since she was about 2 weeks old, she 11 wks now.

Hi Clareyfairy, do you mean that she sleeps through without a feed?

A bit confused about what to do for the best for 3 month old.

She currently sleeps from 11pm/12 to 8:30/9am (I wake her), then has another 40-60 minute kip in the morning and then sleeps for 4 hours in the afternoon. When she sleeps in the day, I basically leave her to sleep in the reclining chair, or put on the sofa to sleep (pillows are placed to ensure she doesn't fall off and I watch her).

I've read that at 3 months, some people take them to their cot to sleep, have set nap times and put them to bed at 8:30pm at night.

What do you do/did for your 3 month old?

I did and still do whatever's easiest for both of us. Cosycub usually naps on the sofa, for instance, and has learned to be a deep sleeper, not too bothered about noise.
He fell into a sleep routine all by himself, and I'm a big fan of baby-led sleep and feeding at such an early age (within reason, lol).
But different things work for different babies, so unfortunately I don't think there's any hard and fast rules that will make it all work swimmingly. Go with your Mummy instincts, they're your best advice.

A bit confused about what to do for the best for 3 month old.

She currently sleeps from 11pm/12 to 8:30/9am (I wake her), then has another 40-60 minute kip in the morning and then sleeps for 4 hours in the afternoon. When she sleeps in the day, I basically leave her to sleep in the reclining chair, or put on the sofa to sleep (pillows are placed to ensure she doesn't fall off and I watch her).

I've read that at 3 months, some people take them to their cot to sleep, have set nap times and put them to bed at 8:30pm at night.

What do you do/did for your 3 month old?

since about 3 months i've been leaving babybabychickens on the lounge floor to sleep during the day (or, if she falls asleep in her car seat in the car, i'll leave her in it...the seat, not the car, obviously). she only goes in a darkened room at night in her crib. since she learnt to roll over i've found the floor to be fantastic - i wedge cushions under her so she can't roll, and just leave her there. she's happy to sleep in blazing sunlight, and i can lie on the floor with if she's having trouble dropping off. she sleeps whenever she wants and for as long as she wants, and established a very predictable routine without my interference (very similar to your baby's routine, in fact). i decided i wanted her to be able to sleep anywhere, so didn't want her to have any special sleeping place...that said, she gets really excited when she's tired and she sees her crib, which is really very cute. she only gets put in htere when she's clearly tired so that she's never got used to lying in there and squawking...she's also silent if she wakes during the night - don't know why, but i assume it's because it's dark and hence she knows she won't get any attention. at 5 1/2 months we're just in the process of dropping her last feed of the night, so once we've done that she'll be in bed by 9 every night whether she's still awake or not.

if your baby has no trouble sleeping, then leave her to it - don't assume that other peoples' advice about sleeping should apply to your baby.

If I did want her to go to bed earlier, how would you change the bedtime? If she is wide awake at 8pm, do I just put her in moses basket and hope she falls asleep?

Also, I have woken her up every morning now, as she doesn't seem to wake up herself and I think that 10 hours without a feed is a bit excessive. Am I doing the right thing? Should I leave her and see if she does wake up on her own? How long would you leave a 3 month old without having a feed?

well, i left babybabychickens without her last feed for the first time last night, and 14hrs later she still hadn't woken, so i woke and fed her anyway - taht was more to fit in with me and so her meals were at normal times than anything particular to do with me thinking she was going to waste away in her sleep. you are allowed to have your sprog fit in with you, too, it doesn't make you evil. if she does it again, let her sleep unless you need to be anywhere at a set time that day - if she has a routine, i doubt having a lie-in would alter that, anymore than not having a lie-in would mean she's always tired. she, like babybaby, is hardly likely to starve in her sleep - she'll wake if she's really hungry. of course, she might be truly horrible when she does wake until you feed her.

to get her to sleep earlier - put her to bed, switch off the lights, and leave her to it! if she's still awake and squawking half an hour later, give her a hug until she's calm again, and leave her to it again. my guess would be that she'll go to sleep within 15mins of the light going off though.

I'm with you, Babychickens, on the leaving-for-a-lie-in idea. Id go with that too except have found quite by chance with my own that if I (reluctantly, sometimes!) wake her if she hasn't woken up, I am more guaranteed a smooth-running day and good night's sleep. I guess my advice would be to try several different ideas and see what works.

To re-iterate, 'do what is right for both you and your baby.' - I was very regimental before I had Teeky-Little and envisioned being a Gina Ford conformist by 4 weeks however, like Babybabychicken, mine found her own routine without any interference from me! (And by 20 weeks I stopped worrying/caring about what other people thought!)

You sound like you're doing a great job! Well done!!

i had my little ones in a routine by about 3 weeks old,,, during the day let them nap when the felt lke it and at night i wud bath them for about 6/6.30 feed them an have them in bed by about 7.15, i just found that easier for me, i cud have a bath knowing they were fast asleep in the other room safe and full, they wud usualy wake for about 11 for a final feed and sleep thru till 6/7 the next morning!

changing a babies routine wont take a few days if you want to do it stick with it for about a week or ten days! have the routine set out in your head too, so u know at 7 she will b in the bath and by 7.30 shes in bed and dont let anything alter it.

i like my mummy time but i like the"me" time more! especially at night, i have lots of friends who keep their children up till 9 or later and i cudnt do it my children go to bed at 7, bathed and fed wether they like it or not,, but because i did it from almost day dot....... its their normal!

I agree with all responses! It's down to you - your baby does find a routine but you can also lead it...I read somewhere the other day that if you want to introduce changes, to try it gradually in half and hour periods over a week and after a couple of weeks it should become routine.

I never had a fixed routine with my first born (2.5) and she is a nightmare sleeper even though at night she has bath time, story time and sleep time. I also have a three month old and he is routined like I have never known! I bath and feed him from around 6.30 - 7pm and he is in bed and asleep by 8pm not to wake until 7am next morning. We started this from around 3 weeks purely because I was so worried about managing them both at nighttime.

I would never worry about leaving him without food (your baby will more that likely tell you if she is hungry!)...he then has a morning nap of about 40mins. In the afternoon, he does go for the same long marathon nap, which I find does him good, occasionally I do wake him as I have to ensure he has a bath at 6.30pm.

So, it's up to you and baby. Yes, they find their own routine, but if it isn't working for you - lead it to be more comfortable - after all - if you are not going to bed until midnight each night - you get tired too and unlike babies, us mums don't get to enjoy the same sleeps in the afternoon as our babies do(as our other halfs seem to think!)...

Threads merged, for parents of older children please see the Big Toddlers Sleep Thread.
Cheers
Zebra

i have a very happy, bubbly son age 2yrs, and he has for the past three/four nights been waking up screaming, he won't let you near him to comfort him are take anything you offer him like his dummy, his teddy or his beaker, he just scabbles about the bed, floor he even go's under the bed if you sit on the bed, just crying...i have tried sitting in the room and out of the room waiting for him to calm down but he carries on each night its gone on for an hour i feel its along time but feel helpless then he just gets back in bed or comes for a cuddle, tonight the crying lasted over an hour until he climbed over the baby gate and got in my bed then fell straight a sleep. nothings changed in the routine or in the bed room.He has always woke up at least once through the night since birth but calmly nodded back off. i also have an older son he hasn't gone through this...

any ideas of whats waking him up so up set? or what i can do to help him? have you experienced this with your kids? any advice help full!

It does sound like night terrors. This link may shed some light on it.

http://www.babycenter.com/refcap/142.html

It may be worth looking at his diet to begin with.

thank you that link was very helpfull..:thumbsup:

Hope you get it sorted out. IS he fine in the morning? Does he remember anything?

My eldest boy started having night terrors when he was about 18 months old. I remember being so frightened by it because he was looking at me but not recognising me that I rang NHS direct!!

He didn't have them as frequently as your son, but he grew out of them by the age of about 3. They are horrible when they happen but thankfully they don't seem to remember them the next day.

Knowing what is wrong takes away some of the fear for us, and we can deal with them calmly. I hope your little one soon grows out of the terrors.

They may well be night terrors, but take heart, they usually accompany new leaps in your child's development, so it's not all bad.

My little girl used to have night terrors always happening around the same time every night, when i asked my h.v about it she suggested waking her up around 5 mins before she was due to have one and it seemed to work, within a few days the terrors stopped. Hope this helps a little.

i have a very happy, bubbly son age 2yrs, and he has for the past three/four nights been waking up screaming, he won't let you near him to comfort him are take anything you offer him like his dummy, his teddy or his beaker, he just scabbles about the bed, floor he even go's under the bed if you sit on the bed, just crying...i have tried sitting in the room and out of the room waiting for him to calm down but he carries on each night its gone on for an hour i feel its along time but feel helpless then he just gets back in bed or comes for a cuddle, tonight the crying lasted over an hour until he climbed over the baby gate and got in my bed then fell straight a sleep. nothings changed in the routine or in the bed room.He has always woke up at least once through the night since birth but calmly nodded back off. i also have an older son he hasn't gone through this...

any ideas of whats waking him up so up set? or what i can do to help him? have you experienced this with your kids? any advice help full!

My daughter started waking up in the middle of the night a few months ago - first with night terrors and then just for no reason at all.

With the night terrors, she said she had cobwebs on her bed and no matter how much I denied it she insisted they were there. Someone advised me to listen to what she is saying then pretend to throw the cobwebs away - this worked and the night terrors stopped soon after.

The waking up continued - sometimes two or three times a night. My hubby decided to camp on my daughters bedroom floor to put her back to bed if she woke and to reassure her that there was someone there sleeping beside her. It only took five nights and my daughter has now completely stopped waking up at all in the middle of the night. I think sometimes children just get over imaginative and scared and need to feel secure.

Give it a try and tell me if this helps.

thank you so much for the advise i'll let you no how we go on.xx

My eldest boy started having night terrors when he was about 18 months old. I remember being so frightened by it because he was looking at me but not recognising me that I rang NHS direct!!


think my son had this again last night-taking him to docs tonight-woke up screaming and sweating, then id rock him to sleep and hed look so peaceful and half hr later he was screaming again. im knackered!!! he woke up full of beans this morning!!

does he still have them now zobo??

My baby is 5 months old and we are trying to get her to sleep in her own room at a reasonable time.
Up until now she's stayed up with me and her Dad and gone to bed at the same times as us (stupid, I know!) in her moses basket in our room.
We want her to go to bed for 8pm so tonight gave her a bath, feed and then story and she went straight to sleep. But now she is screaming the house down and I just want to go and cuddle her!

What should I do? Any tips please?

Controlled crying! We did it at 10 weeks with our twins, 1 min between visits for 3 nights, 2 minutes between visits for 3 nights and so on until we got to five minutes by which time we had cracked it.
I spent quite a bit of time sat on the top step of the stairs reading trashy magazines with short articles about the best variety of beans and where to get an outfit just like Cameron Diaz's latest. It's about all I could take in in between.
We did the plug and run version, plug in the dummy and leave once it's slurped in, we now do it that we leave as soon as they've stopped crying again.
However, those first nights of torture and feeling sorry for them have paid off and our girls go to bed very well at 16 months and have done ever since.
Everytime they develop a new trick to keep you in the room you go through the routine again and it works.
Don't feel guilty, you can be a better parent when your daughter is up and about if you've had some time to relax and do what you want when she's asleep. I remember feeling so relieved once we did the sleep training and we could watch a DVD or keep track of a series on tv, pick up a book and read more than a few pages. That's when I regained the smallest amount of sanity.
Stick with it and when it drives you crazy - just remember so many other parents have done it and you can too - you'll thank yourself for it later!
We even had to do it last night but tonight they went to bed like angels so a 1 night reminder of the rules saved me a lot of grief.

Hi Susie. First of all, you have my every sympathy! The crying rips you up, doesn't it?
It's well worth reading up on controlled crying before jumping in with both feet, i think. Though I am a BIG believer in it. And this is a good place to start: the Big Little Baby sleep Thread: http://www.sheffieldforum.co.uk/showthread.php?t=163984&highlight=controlled+crying
Every little one is different, and it may take a little experimenting, and I have to be honest, more weeks than days for us...but it does work and it is worth it.
One big tip I have is to spend major quality time with the little one the hour before bed...they will feel safe and loved, and your conscience will be at least a little soothed when you leave them screaming later.
And hang in there - for anything to work, you have to stick with it.
Oh, and they won't hold it against you forever - do you remember being five months old?

aww honey, that's no fun at all. if it was me i'd go for gradual but rapid changes (half an hour earlier to bed per day until she gets to 8pm), but i'd stay with her for the first few nights until she's fallen asleep - you don't want her thinking she's alone and no-one is nearby. after maybe a week i'd switch to mroe controlled crying.

that, however, is what i'd like to think i'd do in your situation. the reality would almost certainly be go in and comfort her at the first sign of discontent.

i shall rejoin this thread tomorrow. babybabychickens is now 9 months old, and tonight is the first night she's having in ehr own room, as it wasn't decorated until last weekend. i expect we won't be getting much sleep for a night or two.

good luck

I couldnt do it :( I would wisk her out and giver her a cuddle! But bear in mind my 13 month old son is still in my bedroom so if you want a baby who sleeps in her own room with an 8.00 bedtime then dont listen to me!
Im a softy, they dont stay little for long so I make the most of our cuddles :)

Aw Babychickens I hated it when we moved the girls and our room felt empty, must be a strange night for you!
Good luck.

Ok... Did a stupid thing and went in and picked her up. She was crying so much and it was breaking my heart.
Will read up on controlled crying though and give it another bash tomorrow.

Not sure if she should be in her own room yet anyway, the birth to five book says six months but not all babies are textbook are they...?

Not stupid, susie. Understandable. It's worth hyping yourself up for it a bit, planning a way forward, agreeing to it, and then doing it from a prepared, positive place.

BTW, cosycub was in his own room after two weeks...better for both our sanity, lol. Every baby is different, and the books are only guides. Follow your own instincts.

Got to agree with Cosy here, your instinct says go and in and pick her up - spot on. Just try and hold yourself back for 30 seconds or a minute, it's a beginning.
Or, set yourself the task of beginning it tomorrow and just react as you see fit for tonight.
You're her Mum, preprogrammed to respond, it's normal and natural :)

hello all,
don't want to butt in or hijack the thread, but babybaby started in her own room last night, which was nice because it meant we could HAVE THE LIGHT ON in our own room!!! not a whimper was heard from her all night! luck, not judgement, i suspect, but still. good luck for tonight, susiesue...

Controlled crying and the back to sleep method do work and routine!

Both my boys were put into a routine very early on and it paid off, whilst other parents still had children up and about at 9pm mine were always in bed, not necessarily asleep but in bed.

Even now when I tell my kids to go to bed I don't get arguments, they know when I say its time they go. (Granted 12 yr old goes to his room puts the stereo on and reads a book) but all that training worked.

Its a long time since mine were babies, but reading this has took me right back. We were the same with our eldest, she stayed up with us till we went to bed and slept i our room. Eventually got her in her own room but it took a long time and a lot of tear, both hers and mine before she slept through. When the youngest came along she went in her own room on the day she came home from hospital and only ever woke up once a night for a feed from day one. Never had any fuss from her about bedtime, up until now and shes 14 and think she knows best lol.

I wish you luck.

Congratualtions, babychickens! I've got my fingers crossed that it continues to go smoothly.
L x

Our daughter can sometimes go to bed without any intervention and other times she will cry. If she cries, we go in to her room and we will try just soothing her by holding her hand, once she stops crying, we stand in the room until she is settled and then go out. We try this a few times and then eventually we will nurse her to sleep.

Most times now, she will self settle at night with just the odd night that I or hubby will have to go in her room.

One thing that I find that helps is our winnie the pooh (http://www.toysrus.co.uk/Product.aspx/BruHome/BruNursery/BruNurseryMonitorsNightlights/BruNurseryMonitorsNightlightsNightlights/225029) light night which projects on to the ceiling and plays music. We always put her in to bed, give her her dummy and then put the light night on, say night night and go out of the room. I'd say 9 out of 10 times she settles down her self, with just the odd night we have to do a bit of soothing or nursing.

We got something similar in the way of a night light...cosycub adores the pictures going round and round on the ceiling. For a while it was his favourite toy, but now we only need it when he won't settle at all.

Don't beat yourself up if controlled crying doesn't work - it really depends on your baby and you know them best. We tried it for about 10 mins and then gave up! I honestly think my daughter had wind or something that wouldn't allow her to sleep without being cuddled. Anyway she's now 14 months old and goes to bed at 7pm no fuss and sleeps through - which she's done since she was about 6 months old. (We have the Winnie the Pooh thing as well - but no dummy - she used to have one then suddenly wasn't bothered).

You don't make it clear but sounds like you've tried to change her room and bedtime at the same time - maybe one or the other would be a good start - e.g. bath and story etc into your room to sleep at 8pm, or put her in her own bedroom at usual time first.

Yes we did change bedtime and room at the same time. We thought it was a bit too much too soon but popped her in there so we could still do stuff without having to tip toe round in the dark!
We have decided afetr the hysterics of the other night not to put her through that again and try to gradually put her to be a bit earlier each night. Last night and the night before she went down at 11 no fuss and didn't wake up til 8. It's still very late for a little un to be going to bed but we're going to work it back over a few nights til she's going to bed at a reasonable time!
Then we have to transfer her to her own room and then the fun will begin agian! Time to invest on one of those Pooh bear mobiles methinks...!

:help: :help: can anyone help
my little boy is 4yrs old and has had night terrors for the last few months now, we thought he would grow out of it but he does'nt seems to be doing so ,you can guarantee within an hour of going to bed/sleep he starts shouting and crying

any ideas/suggestions/advise???:help:

This helped with my little girl, i brought some lavender spray thing from avon (sleep theorpy) but i suppose you can use anthing, i told her it was sleep sparkle.

i tell her to lay down and think about something she really like's and i spray it over her bed so a little bit goes on her face (while her eyes are closed)

it seems to work i all brought i dream cathcer that she choose and put it buy her bed.

Hope this helps

Look here for more advice and experience from others on the Parenting Group:
http://www.sheffieldforum.co.uk/showthread.php?t=176777&highlight=night+terrors

Good luck!

(I'll merge the threads when you've had a chance to look)

thanks for the thread,i think i'll try a couple of things mentioned:thumbsup:

Thought I'd let u all have an update-

My little 'un has started going down at 9 (quite an improvement!) with just a little bit of fuss thanks to the projector that we have borrowed from a friend.

The only problem is now she is getting me up at half five cos she's got a wet bum and is hungry!
So now I'm back to being shattered all day again- hopefully soon she might start sleeping back through to 7 or even 8 (how nice would that be!?!?!?)

:) :smile: :bigsmile:

She's very young yet, susiesue, it does get easier. I used to get up with cosycub, change his nappy and feed him, and then he'd fall asleep again straight away in his bouncy chair while I thought 'why did we have to get up again?'. Lol.

You sound like you're doing pretty well. Controlled crying's not for me so , like you, I started putting my baby down at 9, then an hour earlier etc and now he's tired at 6.30 and ready for his last feed then. I'm lucky if he sleeps longer than 8 hours at a stretch though so if he sleeps through til 3 or 4 am, I think I'm doing pretty well. I'll feed him again then and he'll sleep til the morning (6 am til 8 am). Their tummies are only tiny so they can't sleep for long before they get hungry. The sleep deprivation is bloody awful, but it gets better and sometimes I just go to bed early: sleep when he does. Good luck!

My son who is now 20 use to have night terrors. I say use to he admits to still having them but being older & wiser it's not a problem.
He use to wake up screaming but pointing at things on the wall, say a clock & screaming with such terror saying it was flying round the room (just 1 example) I'd sit in tears hugging him. He would eventually fall back to sleep & the next morning not recall anything about it.
The few times he has remembered he says he sees the room where he is exactly as it is but things start moving, flying round the room. He says he could see me talking to him, crying but knew he was still asleep although his eyes were wide open & he could respond to questions I was asking him.
The only advise I can personally give is he always had them when he was ill due to his brain over heating, so when ill make sure you give plenty of calpol etc to keep temperature down. Also make sure he is settled into bed while still awake as I noticed he had them if he was disturbed during sleep, eg: putting him to bed when he had fallen asleep.
The night terrors have no lasting effect on children but are very scary to see.

Also make sure he is settled into bed while still awake as I noticed he had them if he was disturbed during sleep, eg: putting him to bed when he had fallen asleep.
The night terrors have no lasting effect on children but are very scary to see.

Very good point!

When I was a kid I had the night terrors occasionally, and I noticed that I used to get them after I'd dozed off on the couch, had woken up to go to bed, then fallen asleep agan in bed.

Thank fully Jaden just seemed to grow out of night terror's and now he sleeps soundly through the night.

:( But i must admit, it was very hard seeing him so distressed and not being able to help, I found it helpfull to ask for help/advice/support on the forum.

:) So i feel while wanting to help your child it important that you look at how your coping too and find support (some one to talk to etc) so your not over whelmed by battling night terrors on your own or as a family.

To help with support for children and parents is there any help lines or support groups for night terrors, i know there is the parent line but unsure what the number is ... and what help they'd give. But hopefully there is one out there as it seems to be needed :confused: .

Hi Guys.......any advice for a frazzled mum?

Baby M has been having an afternoon nap since she was born (she's 8 weeks now) which has been great (for us both) but this last week she's taken to waking up after approx 45 mins and simply can't settle back to sleep. She wants to go back to sleep but just as she's dropping off she jumps and wakes herself up again after this has happened about twice she gets distressed and then won't settle at all. She's pretty grumpy by 4pmish but I can't get her to have more than 30 mins then, so by bedtime she's a cross patch. She sleeps through at night without problem.

Someone has recommended swaddling her for a few days........any suggestions, I've read about but am not overly keen on the idea of controlled crying.

Hi Musey. It's not that long ago for me, but it seems like a hundred years (cosycub is 2 now). So any advice I give is a little removed from the situation.

I was/am a believer in letting the baby lead the way with nap times (to an extent, lol) and your little one is very young yet. Cosycub moved from one long nap (great) to two shorter ones (not so great) back to one long one, which is now getting shorter. I think that's perfectly normal. I wouldn't intervene, personally, certainly not forcing anything at 8 weeks with swaddling (just my opinion, of course).

If getting about is an issue - some people glue themselves to their home religiously for nap times, which can make changes like 2 naps a bit of a pain - I would personally suggest you go out anyway. Little one will sleep in pushchair/car and you can get stuff done. That's the great thing about the really little ones, they're easily portable as my husband puts it.

Good luck!

Is it only my baby who will only settle on his tummy????
From day 1 he has never settled on his back and now really only ever sleeps
on his tummy, even at night. He is now 3 months old and has been sleeping straight through the night for about 3.5 weeks. I daren`t tell the health visitor as I know I will be in for a telling off. As some people have pointed out though, years ago mothers were advised to put babies to sleep on their fronts. So my question is, how bad is it really? At the moment he is still in our room and sleeps only inches from my face in his crib. He is soon to go in his own room as he is fastly out:confused: growing the crib but I am worried as I won`t be able to check on him as quick as I can now.
:confused:

my 3rd was just like this and always slept on his tummy and now 2yrs later he still does

Thought I would give this post a bump as I'm having trouble getting my 6 month old to sleep without a breastfeed. I'm thinking of giving controlled crying a try. He also used to sleep for around 6 hours but following a recent chest infection where he required a lot of nursing to get to sleep he's now waking every 2 hours. Hopefully if I can start putting him to bed awake and getting him to learn how to fall asleep he'll be able to settle himself in the night - fingers crossed, the waking every 2 hours is driving me mad.

My 5 1/2 month old is having a few sleeping issues recently. He is still breastfed and we got him used to a bed routine since his was 1 1/2 months. His bed routine starts around 6.30 with a bath, followed by some gentle cuddle time and then a feed. He used to fall asleep almost immediately and then wake up every three hours through the night, feed then sleep again immediately.

It is now one week that he suddenly does not care about his routine anymore.
After the bath and the cuddles he wants a feed but then when fed he is full of energy and wants to play.

We started putting him in his cot and use a bit of controlled crying but without help, he will go on clearly tired and upset for at least 2-3 hours till he finally falls asleep (usually with another feed) around 11. Then he never sleeps for much more than 2 hours, then stays awake for at least an hour often more inbetween, playing, bouncing with his legs on the bed and squealing. It looks like he has forgotten the distinction between day and night and he just naps in the night for a couple of hours and then he wants to play.

He seems clearly tired at times and is definitely teething upon occasions (using bonjella and tried a herbal aid but it never rereally makes much difference). I'm unsure the lack of sleeping is totally teething related.

We also started introducing him to solid foods (baby rice and carrot puree) but if anything it made him worst - we stopped giving him solids before going to bed, as that kept him even more awake, as he had too much energy.

We started giving him solids (3 teaspoons) in the morning but did not make much difference.

During the day he is more cranky then usual, but he still has just 2 naps of 40mins/1 hour each.

He is driving us crazy as we do not manage to get any sleep in the night or relax in the evening.

Any suggestion? (will ask at the clinic but our usual contact is on holiday and the replacement has proved less than helpful)

Oh, I'm sorry, I have very little useful recollection of that age, so I'm pretty useless.

My usual mantra is: everything is a phase, be it good or bad...this, too, will pass.
Therefore, I'd say keep up with the 'night is boring, exciting things do not happen at night' routine (I understand controlled crying is hard at so early an age, but there are no-cry methods someone here will be able to point you in the right direction)...just no or low lights, no or very little interaction, water not milk unless it's definitely hunger and not messing about, etc.

Hopefully someone will be able to flesh that out with more helpful stuff. Good luck!

I am going with cosy: It is a phase.

You have to remember that your baby is getting more and more aware of what is going on around him. So night time is the time when his little brain is working overtime as he has to digest everything that has happened.

I understand that it must be very frustrating when you had a routine from a really early age and it might take a while before you are back in that routine (sorry).

Have you tried changing his sleep pattern during the day? We found that monsterbaby would not go to sleep in the evening for example when he slept after four (going to bed at seven).

Also, getting out more into the fresh air helped (I know not easy in this weather).

Not a fan of cc at all and if anything I would say that he is too young for it (even the bloke who wrote the book backed down saying that it should not really be done before either 6 months or a year of age).

Hope you find a solution.

Thanks for the help monstermummy and cosywolf, will battle on for now. We think its also a phase and we never liked the idea of controlled crying anyway.

As for fresh air he demands at least one walk a day ;)

Tonight he calmed down a little, we think although not certain yet that sitting quietly in the same room until he falls asleep or holding his hands when walking up in the night but no noise is slowly starting to have an effect, will see how this latest plan goes anyway.

Thanks again.

Adam is now 8 weeks old. He is fairly regular in his own routine but has now thrown a spanner in!
He feeds at 7pm and is asleep by 8. That's remained the same. However, he used to wake at 11, 3, and then 6/7 and during those times he'd have his nappy changed and be fed, and then straight back to sleep. He is pretty good (so far!) with the day/night thing.
And then...bed as usual, but is now sleeping until 1.30! So I fed him/changed, etc, but he seemed pretty awake. I put him down and he did eventually drift off after just lying there gurgling. Until 3am, then all hell broke loose. He was screaming like he had bad wind, so we did all the necessary. He then just didn't settle until 6am when we just had to get him up. One thing we did notice was a very full nappy (sorry, we just didn't notice earlier!).

We repeated this the next night and he woke again at 1.30, fed and slept til 5 (aarrgghh). He was pretty grumpy all day as well!

Now the HV says we should try 'dreamfeeding' him at 10/11 pm to allow us more sleep. We did but to be honest he is in a very very deep sleep at that point and really won't latch. We tried again last night and he took 6oz expressed milk at 11pm. He woke AGAIN at 2.30, fed at 3 and has taken an age to go down. I'm not sure when he will wake as it's 4am now as I type!

Now I'm flipping confused. Do we just give up the dreamfeed and let him set his own pattern? How will he EVER get through the night?!

AARRGGHHH!! they are such hard work!

He WILL get through the night eventually. 8 weeks is really very early to be demanding a set routine - besdies, there is never a 'set' routine, there are just shorter phases and longer phases, lol.

I never did dreamfeeding, as I couldn't get cosycub to drink and sleep at the same time, but it does work for some. You could also just stretch out his last feed before 'bedtime' to as late as possible, as another option.

But honestly, I would say it was wa-ay to early to be expecting to sleep through (just because some - rare - babies do), and as tiring and frustrating as it is, his feeds will lessen naturally.

Perhaps leave it a little longer? As time goes on he will eventually drop the feeds he doesn't need himself, or you will get a feel for when he is waking out of habit and can trade water for milk to put him off, etc.
Definitely don't frustrate yourself with some mad idea that he should be doing this or that by now - if only it was that simple!

my son is nearly 8 week old he has been sleeping through the nights since he was 6 week old i take him upstairs at bout 11pm change him feed him (5oz) wind him and then he wakes up about 8am but in the day time he wants a bottle nearly every 2 hour and hardly ever sleeps

Ours was 'sleeping through' from about 8 weeks or so - though he gets put to bed at 11pm, not the traditional 7pm! We find it easier to keep him downstairs to tend to him rather then trek upstairs and rely on a monitor (that 'bedtime routine' can come later). Anyway, due to colic, he preferred to feed in an evening and sleep more in a morning, so he has got a habit of a big late evening bottle, which is good as it still settles him very well at about 15 weeks.

How we dropped middle of the night feeds is by not giving him any fuss at ALL when he did wake, then he gradually would just wake and grizzle for a minute or two then go back to sleep and eventually didn't wake and cry at all. So he now goes 11.30pm - 7.30am. And I'm touching wood saying that in case he breaks his pattern now! :o

I still say they're the rare ones.

I would also point out that it's unlikely to last, what with big growth spurts, and particularly when teething starts, but that would be mean... :D

Hi, I was wondering if anyone could give me some advice on the following.

We are due to go on a few holidays this year when our daughter will be 16-18 months old. Currently if we are away from home she'll sleep in a travel cot but even tho they say these are for up to 2 years, she finds them a bit too restrictive (as they are smaller than her cotbed at home) and doesn't sleep that well, keeps waking up etc.

So what different options are there? I have seen some kind of travel tents with inflatable mattresses on the internet but they are quite pricey and might be bulky to take abroad with us. My sister-in-law suggested putting some kind of guard against a normal single bed but if we did this we would have to find accommodation with a double and a single bed which isn't always easy in hotel rooms.

Any ideas???

Most hotels i have been to you can request a cot when you book your holiday.

I think you might find the tents and pop-ups are as restrictive, if not more so, as travel cots, and won't last you too much longer, when considering cost. I may be wrong, but they always seemed quite small to me.

My in-laws use a bed guard when they go away, many hotels have a trundle bed or sofa bed. Still, if you don't want to rely on that (you're doomed if there's nothing, lol) I get it.

I use a Ready Bed for my toddler - you can get them from Argos or just about anywhere really. They are inflatable, have raised sides and a built in cover, and come in a variety of different designs (we have Thomas the Tank Engine). My child is 3 years old and has grown out of it in the last few weeks, but he is closer to the height of a 4 year old, so a smaller child would get about 4 years out of it.
They cost £30.

Here's a link to Argos ready beds: http://www.argos.co.uk/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductDisplay?jspStoreDir=argos&catalogId=1500001001&params=adref%3DToys+and+games-%3EPre-school+toys-%3EPre-school+character+toys+and+playsets&productId=1500163275&referredURL=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.argos.co.uk%2Fwebapp% 2Fwcs%2Fstores%2Fservlet%2FProductDisplay%3FstoreI d%3D10001%26catalogId%3D1500001001%26productId%3D1 500163275%26langId%3D-1&cmpid=FG13P&keyword=Fisher-Price+My+First+Ready+Bed&langId=-1&engine=froogle&referrer=FG13P&storeId=10001

There are other portable kiddie beds, but I researched and found this was the one that would last us longest and was the best value. Now that he's grown out of it, my mother is going to replace it with a rollable futon mattress...only slightly bulkier, definitely more expensive, but it will see him to adult, size-wise.

Hope that helps

My niece also used a ready bed until a couple of months ago and loved it because it has the excitement factor of going camping, which she also loves. She liked to put it on the floor because that was so much like camping too.

Thanks for the advice. Those ready beds look good and reasonable price too. Did you have any problems with them actually staying put in the bed when they were younger? I can see my daughter just wriggling out and ending up sleeping on the floor!

you all beat me to it. get a ready bed, they're a great idea. they come with everything you need and its quite small when its folded down, definately compared to a travel cot.

obviously if she wants to get up and get out then she'll be able to but i had no problems with my daughter rolling out in her sleep if thats what you mean.

have a look here, www.readybed.com

We also had a ready bed and found it to be really good. I think she did roll out a couple of times, but as they are almost on the floor it isn't really a big deal!

The sides are raised, so it takes a bit of effort to roll out, and I never found it a problem. My toddler, for one, was so pleased to be sleeping on a Thomas bed, he was delighted to stay in it. It is on the floor, as well, so they're not going to hurt themselves getting out.

Niecelet did end up on the floor a few times to start off with, but because she's so close to the floor to start off with it's not really a risk and we just put her back in bed and covered her up again.

Thanks again for the advice. They do sound like a good option and pretty portable too so could take it abroad with us.

For the last 3-4 months since we got our little princess a proper bed and got shot of the cot, we have been taking it in turns to lay down with her and get her off to sleep, until recently this has been working but we don't get any time together and just recently she has started to refuse to sleep until 23:00 @ least...

I put my foot down last night and said right, enough is enough and we put her to bed and closed the door, at first she screamed the house down and then laid down and started to drop off, I like an idiot went and checked on her and she woke up :help:

My missus then suggested we remove the door (Partly because we live in a dinky, 1 bed flat and our daughter shares our bedroom which isn't 100% safe) and replace it with a stair gate, I personally think this is crackers as she can just stand there, looking at us and feels somewhat imprisoned, but we gave it a go, she screamed and was then badly sick, so back to square 1...23:30she nodded off (This started at 20:30)....

As most of you on here have had kids that have grown up, I welcome your opinion as to where were going wrong and any suggestions as to what we can do...I feel awful locking her in but having the door is also a problem, thanks for looking, quick responses needed as we're in the middle of it now and it's now my turn...:hihi:


The new tactic is to put a chair just inside the stair gate and slowly move it out and then further and further away...let's see how that goes.

lay with her and watch tv till she gos to sleep keep doing it and she will get use to her own bed it worked with both of mine

The advice I've always been given is to go with the controlled crying again (door back on!) 1 minute each time for the first night, 2 mins each time second night etc etc.
The supernanny version is to put her back in bed without speaking or fussing and don't give in to anything intended to distract you. One of my girls wants to talk about Barney or fairies every time I go in. Then firmly say good night or some other key phrase and close the door and go.
It means sitting outside the bedrom door and doing it over and over but it's normally over in a few nights.
The other is a Dr Green one - which Cosywolf can speak for I think. Tie a piece of rope to the door so that she can only open it so far but can open it a little and leave her to open it as she chooses but insist that she goes back to bed. Hopefully Cosy can tell you if I've got that right.
It won't be immediate, whatever the solution but stick with it, it'll soon be over :)

The chair solution will work eventually I suppose, but it will take a while (gradual withdrawal some people call it). The let- her- scream is not everyone's cup of tea and I would be reluctant to do so, esp. if she has thrown up due to her screaming.

Is she tired when you want her to go to bed? I know this sounds like a stupid question but we have noticed that ds wants to still sleep during the day, sometimes loads, but when he does, we are in for a long evening. However, it does mean we have a rather grumpy monsterbaby on our hands in the late afternoon

Hope someone with more ideas will be on soon, good luck and keep your patience, the more stressed you get the less likely it is going to happen.

I have a technique I picked up off Dr Green (Toddler Taming). It works for us, and has been a huge help.

It's called the rope trick - but don't worry, no tying them up, lol.
It involves using a rope to keep the door closed, but not all the way, so they don't feel completely closed in and alone. I attach the rope to our bedroom door across the way, but anything solid would work, just make sure it won't let them open the door enough to get their head through.

The process goes like this...bedtime routine, including a story or lullabye. Then tuck in, say goodnight decisively, and leave.
Attach rope.
Set a timer to let them cry - the time is up to you, and what you can cope with. We've used controlled crying in the past, so I start at 7 minutes, but if 2 is your limit, go with it.
When the time is up, go in calmly, put them back in bed, and stay with them quietly but lovingly until they are calm.
The minute they're calm, repeat the firm goodnight and go.
Set the timer for 2 minutes more than last time.
When the time is up, repeat the back to bed and stay until calm.
repeat firm goodnight and leave
Add 2 more minutes to the last time
and repeat, adding minutes, until they get it. 'It' is not that they are being punished or abandoned, but that there will be no lovely attention, be it positive or negative, for their behaviour, so they might as well go to sleep. They are still seeing you and getting comfort, but nothing more exciting than that.

Some people might find it a bit harsh, but it worked fantastically for us, is nicer than some controlled crying techniques, and our toddler seems to understand it fine.

If you're not too used to the whole crying thing, my advice would be to disregard the idea they're trying to give that they are inconsolable and their hearts are breaking and they'll never ever be able to trust or love again, lol...in fact they are angry and infuriated that you're not giving them the attention they expect and clearly deserve, and they will make whatever noise they need to, to get you to remedy that.

How hardhearted am I, lol.

edit to add - no communication whatsoever while the rope is on the door. Be as far away as possible doing something far more attention-grabbing. You are removing attention and therefore the reason to stay awake.
Obviously keep an ear out for illness or real pain - I soon learned that mine does a fab impression of screaming agony until he sees my face, when a miraculous recovery hapens, lol.

lay with her and watch tv till she gos to sleep keep doing it and she will get use to her own bed it worked with both of mine

With the best will in the world, I'd steer far, far away from the tv...they are known to be a stimulant, and that is defintely not what you want at bedtime.

Not just my opinion, but that of most child psychologists.
Sorry, bozeman :)

The controlled crying method is one I was very keen on, I have been trying to drum it into my missus for a while but she's soft on her, but when she was sick last night I kinda backed away from that idea too...

If it helps, she is 19mths old and to answer your questions, does she seem tired, well tbh no, she does at times but like tonight for instance she is wide awake, she likes to have a nap in the car on long journeys, as we've been out on the glossop peaks today, we couldn't keep her awake on the way home for love nor money :hihi:

She has also started to have late mornings (Yes I know this is our fault but you kinda weigh up the pros and cons at 07:00 :hihi:, another lay in it is then) because she's having late nights...:huh::huh::roll:

With the best will in the world, I'd steer far, far away from the tv...they are known to be a stimulant, and that is defintely not what you want at bedtime.

Not just my opinion, but that of most child psychologists.
Sorry, bozeman :)

I am well against that decision, it's like me with the laptop, I sometimes stop up a little later than other half with all the intention in the world to follow an hour or so later, 05:00 I fall asleep on the sofa waking with a banging head ache :gag:

The only way I can talk myself out of doing this is the week I am on mornings, gotta be at work for 06:00, so it's a NO NO!!! :hihi:

Perhaps this version will be easier on your missus, because you don't have to listen to looong bouts of crying, and you get to go in and reassure them and wait until they're calm before starting again, which helps.
I find my son didn't fall asleep during this whole drama, but eventually said 'good night' of his own accord, gave me a kiss and went to sleep. So no long term mental trauma...

Our girls are 2.5 and we began sleep training arund 10 weeks and we still use the same techniques and it works.
If you are around, is it possible for you to be the main controlled crying person and your partner to do it when you are weakening? It's amazing how strong a person can be when they are supporting someone else.
Also, one of our girls does the crying until puking thing once in a while, she got over it when she realised she still had to go to bed after the clean up job.

I would also steer very widely clear of a tv in the bedroom, it is a stimulant and is proven to delay sleep.

My son was dreadful but we followed the advice of the health visitor. Most are versions of controlled crying.
Stick to same bedtime as much as poss.
Put her to bed comfort her & leave for 2 min.
Return & put back to bed say goodnight & leave.
Increase times by 5 min each time.
It is really, really hard for first week, I sat at top of stairs each night.
It is worth it. Stick it out & it will get better.

Good luck:thumbsup:

And by all means enjoy the late mornings - I'm jealous! But it may be worth trying to cut out naptimes after 3pm. I know it's hard in the car. And to be honest, if cosycub had a late night, i generally give him an extra half hour or so before bedtime.

I don't put him to bed so much because he's tired, but because
* he needs lots of sleep like all toddlers, this is his opportunity, whether he takes it or not
*learning to put yourself to sleep and not rely on parents isn't bad, and now he frequently sends us out while he lies awake quietly for a while until he falls asleep. Bed is comfy and nice
*You also need your time. I think so, anyway. The habit that the little one goes into their room for quiet time at an agreed time of night and stays there until morning gives all of you some alone time and down time.

Tell me to be quiet and stop preaching, lol.

Doors back on, controlled crying...so far so good, new problem, she isn't really crying, well she did and then all went quiet, we gave it 2 mins and went to check on her, she got up and tried coming in front room....:rant::rant:

So if they cry for so many mins, you check em right, if they don't, then what...how do I make sure she's ok but still ensure she's asleep without fitting magical doors that from the bedroom side look like white gloss, but from the outside are glass / transparent...lol, hey there's a money maker :hihi:

You can use a baby monitor with visual bit or just go on sound.
We used a monitor for a while but it wasn't much use for covering two beds, only good for one.
We still use an audio monitor.

Chances are, at 19 months, she's asleep or lying awake thinking. Hard as it is, get a baby monitor and be brave. She's not high risk from SIDS at this age, and it's a small flat - if she's sick, you'll know about it.
If you just HAVE to peek, lol, and she gets up, you put her right back and start again. But I would say try not to.

We have a visual monitor, which was a godsend, but a sound one should work.

We are having a similar problem, which started since moving. My DD is 21 months and in a big bed, which she was in before the move. I have tried the controlled crying method for one night and I absolutely hate it and do not agree with it. My DD was distraught from the Controlled crying method and was really stressed from it, her breathing had gone shallow and quick. I was really upset and spent the next 30 minutes calming her down and relaxing her. I just don't see how it helps them to sleep as I can't sleep when I'm stressed, so how I can expect my 21 month old daughter to sleep when she's so stressed?

Out current method is working. I try and tire her out during the day by making sure she does lots of physical activity and we go for walks. Our bedtime routine consists of her brushing her teeth, nappy change and PJ's on. Then we go downstairs and she sits on one of our knees whilst watching 'Little Red Tractor' whilst having her milk. After finishing her milk she gets her dummy and we wait till the end of the episode before waving goodnight to Little Red Tractor and off up stairs we go. One of us sits next to the bed until she is a sleep - which is down to around 10-15 minutes now - was originally a few hours!! Once she has settled down and is in the habit of getting to sleep quickly in bed, (as I think some of the problem was that she had started to think of her bed as somewhere to play rather than sleep), then the next stage will be the gradual withdrawal of us from the room.

I think it really depends on what you are happy with and what works with your child.

Try not to go back in if shes not crying. If she knows you're there she may well start again. I agree to use a baby monitor you should be able to hear her talking or breathing.

Don't worry:D

I agree to use a baby monitor you should be able to hear her talking or breathing.


Sorry, I think I may have missed out that we do have a monitor, there's no way we would have let her get to 19mths without one :hihi:

We used to have CCTV in the bedroom too but would end up watching that all night awwwing and ahhhhhring so decided that we might as well spend the whole night in there with her :hihi:

Problem with a monitor is that they only transmit sound, if she's quiet then can't hear anything (Obviously) and then start to panic...

She has so far done really well, 2 nights now she has cried a few seconds and then just lays there for a few mins in dream land before nodding off...

Sorry, I think I may have missed out that we do have a monitor, there's no way we would have let her get to 19mths without one :hihi:

We used to have CCTV in the bedroom too but would end up watching that all night awwwing and ahhhhhring so decided that we might as well spend the whole night in there with her :hihi:

Problem with a monitor is that they only transmit sound, if she's quiet then can't hear anything (Obviously) and then start to panic...

She has so far done really well, 2 nights now she has cried a few seconds and then just lays there for a few mins in dream land before nodding off...

That's good. :)
Now if anyone can figure out the middle of the night crying fits, feel free to let me know...not even I have the stamina for controlled crying at 3am...

has anyone got any good advice on makeing my 10 month old sleep through? i havent had a nights sleep yet!!! he wakes up several times and i think im looseing the plot!!!!!!!!

Have you experimented with things at all? Is he waking for feeds? Do you breastfeed? Tell us a bit more to help us help you :)

yes hes breastfed and the only way he stops crying is if he gets boobie!! ive tried everything,even down to paying 45 pound a session to see an osteopath!! my husbands got up with him,ive tried to ignore him,offerd water etc etc!!

Hey my son is 19 months,he is breastfed and doesnt sleep through, he goes to bed fine but once he wakes around 3 hours later it can take up to 3 hours to get him back to sleep.I have had around 3 hours sleep a night for the last week.He is the youngest of 5 so I have tried everything possible I think the worst thing is that he has to share a room with us as we dont have the space for him to go in his own room.

Hmmm, I didn't breastfeed by the time I got to sleep training but the techniques in general are refusing to feed, controlled crying and sleep training in general. There are lots of other threads which refer to all those in details.
I think Boosmum and a few others are in a better position to advise, it might be worth doing a search under 'weaning off breastfeeding'.

And like magic, here she is :)

One alarm bell starts to ring when someone says they've tried everything...and that is the possibility that you haven't tried any one thing for long enough to make it work? As tiring and frustrating as it seems, it can take a couple of weeks to change habits, and if you pick something and stick with it like grim death, it should eventually work. With luck a lot quicker than two weeks or more, but what's a couple of weeks compared to years of sleep to come, anyway?

I'm a fan of controlled crying, but I've always found it hard to pursue at night...it seems like all your defenses are down in the middle of the night and you can't take anymore, I know.

I'm not going to take you through all the techniques of controlled crying, sorry I'm shattered tonight, but the general idea is that you are removing the attention that they are getting for being awake and giving them no other reason to stay that way...and giving them the opportunity to learn how to get themselves to sleep and not rely on boobs or company, etc.

There are books, Dr Green is my fave dude, but there are also 'no cry' methods someone here should be able to point you towards. Unfortunately, there probably isn't an immediate, pain-free method of breaking this habit, but you can do it, and any effort you put into it will be worth it.

Best of luck!

I wish, I have been trying for months he just doesnt do sleep.

hi boosmum,your situation sounds like mine,harvey is youngest of 5 an shares our room for the same reason,he goes to bed fine then wakes up 3hrs ish later,just dont no wot to do!! ive tryd everything ,wonder iff theyl ever sleep through?

My others were never like this, up to a couple of weeks ago he would wake up,come into our bed for a feed andthen drop off he was feeding 3-4 times a night but he would go back to sleep after a bit,not now though I have spent the last 3 nights on the settee with him as my partner is a coach driver he works very long hours and really has to get his sleep. I feel like a zombie at the moment.

I know it's awkward for you, sharing the room, but have you tried leaving them to cry for two minutes, putting them back down till calm, letting them cry 4 minutes, putting them back down and calming them, leaving them to cry for 6 minutes, etc etc ad infinitum, with absolutely no other attention in between the calming bits? Perhaps take books or magazines to bed with you so you can have a read, but I'd suggest lying in the dark to give them the mesage that sleep is what you're after. Long, tedious, infuriating and tiring, but if you kep it up, they should get the message.
At first you'll get less sleep than if you give in and do whatever you usually do, but stick with it and it rarely fails.

I'd still ask - if you've tried everything, are you sure you tried any one thing long enough?

If you both have babies that simply don't need sleep at night, I'm going to go whimper under the sofa - I'm still in denial that my nights will soon be far less restful than they curently are...:help:

talk of the devil!! hes just woke up,first time of many!ive got to the point its a waste of time going to bed duno bout you.he feeds up to 7 times a night but usually goes streight back to sleep.i know wot you mean bout the zombie bit!!!!!just wish someone could wave a magic wand and make everything ok,there must be someone with some good advice somewhere

i think that prob the problem cosywolf cant stick at it long enough,cos of the other people that are disturbd with the crying,ive an 18 yr old that needs to get up for work a husband on shifts,a son with adhd and a daughter!!

My son goes to bed no problem around 10pm he is an angel then this all starts around 2am in the morning my partner has to be up for work anytime between 5.30 -6.30amhe doesnt get home till 7pm, other times he may be up a bit later but not get home till 2am. My other children are all in secondary school doing exams,etc and we have to be up for 7am on school days so it really isnt possible to let him cry as he wakes the whole house up the few times I tried this (his Dad was away on tour at the time) he cried nonstop all night threw up and his excema was terrible.

Doc Green has a very interesting take on the whole 'I have to do this or that because my partner has to work' idea. It goes along the lines of yes, but so do you. Are you, and your kids' well-being, less important than his? No? Then you need to be able to work together to sort the problem so that everyone is better off.

With a few painful nights of co-operation, with partner taking a holiday to do it if necessary, you might more easily be able to sort it out, and then you all get the sleep you need - short term pain for very necessary long term gain. Better for his work, and better for yours.

Just an idea for an argument if that situation goes on too long - how long are you supposed to be stuck on the sofa?

Start whimpering Cosywolf, shall I pull the sofa out ready for you(haha)

Are you going to bed around the time they wake up? I found my DD was more likely to wake up around 3-4 hours after going to bed, as I think they are in a lighter sleep mode around that point. Unfortunately, we were going to bed at the that time and was making noise, which meant she woke up. We ended up making sure we went to bed earlier so that we were making noise when she was in a deeper sleep. This worked for us and might be worth trying?

But what you are both saying is that the waking and crying is already causing problems, and has been for ages. So yes, it will be a pain in the butt, but isn't it better to make it worse for a short while with the intention of calming it all down for good, so that everyone benefits, than to go on like this indefinitely? And it can go on indefinitely if it doesn't get sorted.

Just my tuppence. I don't have to live in your houses. :D

Hopefully someone will come along with a silent remedy.

No Doodle he goes around 10pm wakes around 2am we go up around 11-11.30pm.

Another thing you could do is ask your partner to deal with it for a few nights, over a weekend to begin with etc so that there is no boob option.
Then whenyou have to do it, only offer water again and even then only after controlled crying and stick with it!

Forgot to add, that if our DD does wake up in the middle of the night, she is brought in to our bed and goes to sleep fine with us. We don't have to this every night, at the moment it might be once a week.

Also, could they be getting too cold or too hot. Do they have a dummy? Sometimes my DD will cry because she's realised she's dropped it, and sometimes we can get away with just giving it her back and we can all get back to sleep.

I do fed him when he first wakes up but thats it then ,I wont feed him again and he only has water at night, have to say I have only been cutting the night feeds down for a week or so.

He doesnt have a dummy none of mine would take to them.

I put a bottle in with mine when I took him off night feeds...just water so it wouldn't go off/ rot his teeth. It gave him something to suck on when the need arose - I get thirsty at night, and he does too, it seems.

He has a sports bottle as he will not use a baby bottle.

Not a fan of cc at all. Imo it is a cruel thing to do to children. They cry for a reason, it is one of their means for communication and if they are not being listened to, what message does that send out to them about their parents? But that is my opinion and each to their own, if someone feels comfortable with it, so be it.

Anyway, there are lots of reasons why a lo is not "sleeping through": too hot, too cold, too much has been going on during the day, too light outside, thirsty, hungry, teething, the list can go on. Ds is sleeping in his thickest sleeping bag at the moment, in the others he is cold.

I know it is very tiring, ds (19 months) only started sleeping much better for the past three or four weeks now. I am at work full- time and spent more than one day looking and feeling like a zombie.
Ds woke up as he could not make the transition from a deep sleep to a light sleep or the other way round. Up to a point he relied in being fed back to sleep, too. Monsterbaby at some point did not want to feed anymore, he just wanted the comfort suck, so Dh started to see to him, to reassure him that he is not alone and that he can rely on is parents to be there for him, no matter what. If we had left him, it would have been the end of the night for all of us as ds would have been so worked up that he would not have calmed down again.
He still wakes sometimes crying (mainly after five in the morning, but his dad will then go to him to calm him and assure him). Ds is teething at the moment, so the odd wake- up is normal and the wanting "a cuddle because I am in pain", too.

Get your partner to see to your lo if you do not want to feed him at night anymore (but you need to be sure that lo is getting enough food during the day, e.g. ds only now has enough food intake for him not to be hungry anymore in the night). As someone else said, you are in it together so both of you have to take it, and if that means taking some hols then so be it. Ds was annoyed that

Btw, my sister was told both by her mw and her gp, that it si considered sleeping through once lo is doing 5 hours in a go on a regular basis.

Boosmum, you sound like you're having a rough time of it. Broken sleep is bad enough without extended periods being awake at night on top.

I breastfed til a couple of months back and we've always put our LO down at 7pm so he got enough sleep and we got some evening to ourself but I often found that when I gave him his 7 o'clock breast feed, I'd be so sleepy that I'd go to bed with him! It was worth losing out on a night time life for the sake of some extra hours kip. At one year old we cut out the night feeds using the Dr Jay Gordon method http://www.drjaygordon.com/development/ap/sleep.asp. Like the others though, we only managed it by letting my partner take over the night time routine for a fortnight.

I'm with Monstermummy on the controlled crying issue. Baby's aren't designed to sleep through the night so I just stopped expecting it. I believe prolonged bouts of crying are unnecessary and dangerous to the baby's brain development (Margot Sunderland's book The Science of Parenting has some really useful info on it). My son's sleep has improved gradually and he now usually sleeps through from 7 pm to 5.30 am or later and that feels like a big improvement, although I feel like I've aged about ten years in that time!

Can anyone give you a night or two of unbroken sleep (grandparents?) or take the baby off you first thing so you can go back to sleep for a while and catch up. I really feel for you. It does pass though so I hope you can find a way through it with your sanity intact. Good luck!

My mum had the same situation with my sister- four older children, 2 of them doing exams, a husband who got up at 6 and her in the bedroom so she had to feed her through the night til she was 3!

My youngest of 2 was (and is still a bad sleeper if teething or in the habit of waking up following teething). In the end after attempts at controlled crying which failed as she would just howl far more if I went in I just left her to cry. It sounds harsh but I'd breast feed her and she's still howl- no bottle or dummy ever accepted. I'd pat her back looking away til she fell back but as soon as I went she'd start up again.
I know- I'm horrible but in the end (at about 11-12 months) I'd had enough and left her to scream til she fell asleep. It kept me awake but after only 3 nights she got the message. It was very disruptive but worth it. If we disrupt her routine at all it's back to waking again. Now it's only a case of lying her back down but it becomes a habit but I have to break the habit by leaving her to cry for ages again and then it's ok.
Very hard being in the same room, because they really know. Maybe you could put a screen around the cot?
Good luck, cannot imagine how you are coping with so little sleep, poor you!

Well, he was a little better last night bed at 10pm slept till 12.45 came in our bed fed him and instead of fighting it he went to sleep!He woke up 3 more times to feed but went back each time, he got up at 7am luckily my 14 year old son is an early riser and took him downstairs,OH was at work so I went back to bed for a couple of hours, feel slightly more awake today.

Also have to say he isnt a great eater I have tried cutting back on the mummyfeeds during the day but he really isnt eating enough to keep him going all night, I have even kept a food diary for a week as I was told that most mums think their children arent eating enough but really they are, Little boo definately isnt

Well, that's good news. Hope he keeps it up.

Have you thought of putting him down earlier? I was surprised to find that when I got my son to sleep at 7 instead of 8, he actually slept for longer. They're supposed to need about 12+ hours sleep at that age so ironically, perhaps overtiredness could be some of the cause of his sleeplessness?

Also have to say he isnt a great eater I have tried cutting back on the mummyfeeds during the day but he really isnt eating enough to keep him going all night, I have even kept a food diary for a week as I was told that most mums think their children arent eating enough but really they are, Little boo definately isnt

I know mine didn't either, she just wanted boob all the time. Getting her to eat anything at all was a real struggle. It got a lot better once she could use a spoon herself and pick foods up. I think some babies just love their boob and know how to get it!

I tried putting him down earlier but he wakes up after 3 hours and there no getting him back, Im convinced he just doesnt need a lot of sleep, wish I was the same