According to the independant today being single from your 30s onwards is (statistically) more damaging to your wellbeing than smoking. Having reached the grand old age of 34 and survived so far I want to keep up this alive trend and so obviously require a wife to keep me all healthy and prevent me keeling over - to this end I'm now advertising an available position - applications with CVs ar now being accepted!

Being a husband is a responsible position and not for single near middle age men who are concerned for only there own welfare.
Stick to your mummys apron strings as single men in there 30s and 40s have no sense of responsibility.
You would be a liability to any woman considering you as a husband.
If I were you I would write the CV yourself and present it to any woman who would take time to read about your imature years as a single man.
A real husband is a long term partner not someone who has just relaised he no longer gets noticed in the night clubs.

Don't do it Neil, if you look around in any pub the oldest there is always the one who isn't married.

He will smoke and drink to his hearts content then call for either a chinese or some fish and chips on his way home.

Fall asleep in his comfortable armchair then wake up in the middle of the night freezing cold, and climb into the comfotable bed that is still the way he left it when he crawled out of it yesterday.

Tomorrow he will get up for work with no one to say anything about the curry stains on his trousers, then off to work until five o'clock, back home for a quick hour in his chair, but being careful to avoid last nights chip papers.

Then back off down the pub to start it all again.

where some misguided fool will ask "in't it time you got wed".......if only they knew.

Hey - have you been watching my daily schedule *checks outside window for stalkers*!!!

Originally posted by Cycleracer
Being a husband is a responsible position and not for single near middle age men who are concerned for only there own welfare.
Stick to your mummys apron strings as single men in there 30s and 40s have no sense of responsibility.
You would be a liability to any woman considering you as a husband.
If I were you I would write the CV yourself and present it to any woman who would take time to read about your imature years as a single man.
A real husband is a long term partner not someone who has just relaised he no longer gets noticed in the night clubs.
You are joking, CR, right:confused: Is my sense of humour scanner down:confused:

Take my word for it,he aint joking!!!!

Thats a pity - cos I was!!!

I'm sure you'll find someone Neil... but remember... a wife is for life... not just for Christmas...

Oh and CR... c'mon... reboot the humour chip... sheesh.. :rolleyes:

I'd like a wife too since we're on the subject..

Katie Melua will do just fine... :lol:

Originally posted by Martin_s
I'm sure you'll find someone Neil... but remember... a wife is for life... not just for Christmas...


WHAT??? You'll be telling me you can't keep the reciept and take them back next!!!

You can exchange without a receipt at Marks & Spencers !

Originally posted by evildrneil
WHAT??? You'll be telling me you can't keep the reciept and take them back next!!!

Also you will have to remember that unlike your car, when the joints start creaking you can't take em back for re-bushing either....I was going to say when the joints get all soft and sloppy but thought better of it..lol.

Originally posted by owdlad
Also you will have to remember that unlike your car, when the joints start creaking you can't take em back for re-bushing either....I was going to say when the joints get all soft and sloppy but thought better of it..lol.

Surely regular oil and servicing would help there though???

Originally posted by beckb
You can exchange without a receipt at Marks & Spencers !

I tried M+S but when I asked the lady behind the counter if I could try her on for size I just got slapped - can't think why!

Originally posted by evildrneil
I tried M+S but when I asked the lady behind the counter if I could try her on for size I just got slapped - can't think why!

Serves you right Neil.....you picked on the M&S slapper.

Originally posted by evildrneil
Surely regular oil and servicing would help there though???
oo-er! steady on:D

Originally posted by draggletail
oo-er! steady on:D

I'm all confused now - surely thats what the nipples are for!!!

Originally posted by evildrneil
I'm all confused now - surely thats what the nipples are for!!!
Aaaaargh!:wow:

Hi

Only recently joined this forum and not done many postings (think I may start..) and now I know why I joined. Where else can the women of sheffield get such an indepth look into the minds of local men..pls lads carry on - it raises a smile!

Welcome, threecolours! :wave: :blush: :blush: :blush:

thanks draggletail..glad to see you're blushing!
I've seen the other thread somewhere on this site about why people post on the forum and loads of people say its strangely addictive. My plans for tonight have now been unmade (not cos of this!) and I've a feeling I may also become an addict..

PS sorry if this message gets posted lots - damn wanadoo bb keeps hanging on me so don't know when this is gonna get through..

Originally posted by threecolours
Hi

Only recently joined this forum and not done many postings (think I may start..) and now I know why I joined. Where else can the women of sheffield get such an indepth look into the minds of local men..pls lads carry on - it raises a smile!

You can't have a in depth look into blokies minds - theres no depth there!

The best we get is shallow over a wide area ;)

Well evildrneil... I didn't like to say...?!

it's statistically true about being single shortening your lifespan.

Apparently single people tend be less optimistic and generally less happy as well. I'd get on the pull quick.