Can anyone help me out here.

On of my neighbour friends has been round this afternoon all distraught. Apparently, he sent off for a fake GCSE certificate online for his son and isn't at all happy with what he got.

He swears he ordered an 'A*'in English, but only received a 'B' which would have been £50 cheaper, but the cheeky sods charged him for the higher grade!

He has complained by e mail on three occasions but never received a reply.

He wants to know how to go about putting an formal complaint in to a arbitary body in an effort to get his money back.

Anyone help here?

Is it the royal "my friend" ? as in one/we?

;)

I'll leave that to one's imagination.

Why would he want a "fake" GCSE certificate anyway?! Didn't his kid do any good in their exams or summat? :loopy:

Originally posted by Rich
Why would he want a "fake" GCSE certificate anyway?! Didn't his kid do any good in their exams or summat? :loopy:

I kinda think this is ment to be a joke........................

No, they don't bother sending him to school. They just buy qualifications. He's going to be a doctor so God help his patients!

Originally posted by Rich
Why would he want a "fake" GCSE certificate anyway?! Didn't his kid do any good in their exams or summat? :loopy:

How long have you been a member here now Rich?

This is Sam Miguel. It's a joke.

Dear SM,

I am sorry to hear about your neighbour's plight. If their son is as thick as he appears to be, maybe the problem can be alleviated by telling him that B comes before A in the alphabet. He just needs to be retaught his B.A.C.s.

Glad I could help.

markham (BSc in bovine faeces)

He never learnt his B A C's, Markham.

I asked him who knocked down the walls of Jericho and he said it wasn't him.

Originally posted by Sam Miguel

I asked him who knocked down the walls of Jericho and he said it wasn't him.

Tell him it was Lyons of Judah, a competitor in the iced dairy products market.

Incidentally, they diversified and opened Cheeses of Nazareth nearby.

I sent off for a D in ironing for my lad, but they've sent him an A* in Physics instead. Does your neighbour want to do a swap?

I gotta P in swimming, would be willing to swap for a D in ironing.

:confused:

Aaah! The famous P in swimming. Would that be the 'silent' P.........as in bath and shower?

Sorry bonny, no deal. A* in physics must be worth at least an F in art. Or maybe even two F in arts!!

Originally posted by markham
I sent off for a D in ironing for my lad, but they've sent him an A* in Physics instead. Does your neighbour want to do a swap?

I'm seeing him this afternoon - he's knocking me a few twenty pound notes off on his printing press - so I'll ask him.

Why not skip the GCSEs and go straight for a Doctor of Divinity from the Reverend Pastor Aloysius T Burgerbar of the West Virginian Seminary of Religious Thought and Gene Pool Stagnation?

After all, a Doctor is a Doctor is a Doctor, so wht not skip that tedium about finding out how people tick and just sign up as a doctor for the NHS? Now they're being told not to poach from overseas they'll nede all the help they can get.

Is he any good at staying awake for 6 days without seeing the King of the Potatoe People?

Joe

Originally posted by Sam Miguel
I'm seeing him this afternoon - he's knocking me a few twenty pound notes off on his printing press - so I'll ask him.

Sam tell him to be careful not to make too many twenties. A "friend" on mine got ten years for making big money.....three mm too big to be exact.

Originally posted by Sam Miguel
I'm seeing him this afternoon - he's knocking me a few twenty pound notes off on his printing press - so I'll ask him. So he can count to 20 then.

Sam Miguel--my youngest son has just started 6th form college after gaining a*s and a's passes in all subjects!--hes worked dam hard all through primary and senior school and got the top marks out of the whole school!(gcses).----unless this a joke about your friends son---i can only say this!---if his kid hasnt got the brains to succeed,no amount of hoodwinking etc. will alter that fact!
one word springs to mind--pathetic!!

He doesn't need GCSE's now you can have them deferred these days.So he has no need to feel inferior to other people.
I think the government brought this scheme in to stop people who never bothered to go to school suing the whole of the education system.

Originally posted by mikeyspikey
Sam Miguel--my youngest son has just started 6th form college after gaining a*s and a's passes in all subjects!--hes worked dam hard all through primary and senior school and got the top marks out of the whole school!(gcses).----unless this a joke about your friends son---i can only say this!---if his kid hasnt got the brains to succeed,no amount of hoodwinking etc. will alter that fact!
one word springs to mind--pathetic!!

You don't remember Sam Miguel then mikeyspikey?

Do a search of some of his other 'wind-up' posts.:thumbsup:

Alas we haven't heard from him for a long time, but believe me, Sam's posts were very rarely serious. He is missed by us all I think.:(

Has no one noticed this thread is over a year old? :heyhey:

Originally posted by vidster
Has no one noticed this thread is over a year old? :heyhey:
They always say the old ones are the best !

So some people actually do escape then :P

Originally posted by wendygs
So some people actually do escape then :P

I think he was expelled :D

Originally posted by saxon51
You don't remember Sam Miguel then mikeyspikey?

Do a search of some of his other 'wind-up' posts.:thumbsup:

Alas we haven't heard from him for a long time, but believe me, Sam's posts were very rarely serious. He is missed by us all I think.:(
Definately can second this post. Sam Miguel = Top bloke.

What happened to him, why did he stop posting?

Originally posted by DaBouncer
Definately can second this post. Sam Miguel = Top bloke.

What happened to him, why did he stop posting?

I miss Sam Mig (Mick S) as well DaB, he's a top bloke who apparently had something happen in his private life concerning the internet, and shortly afterwards he stopped posting. I hope he's ok.

Sam if you do happen to read this just want you to know a lot of people miss you and your humour.

:thumbsup:

Yup definitely missed. Sam Miguel may your user name rest in peace :)

ohh the old days of SF ;)

Originally posted by mikeyspikey
Sam Miguel--my youngest son has just started 6th form college after gaining a*s and a's passes in all subjects


Hay Caramba!

He's passed ALL subjects, are you sure he isn't the 2nd coming of christ there must be about 250 GCSE subjects.

Maybe if he is God reborn omniscient and everything, he can tell us how Sam is getting on and if he will return?

all the subjects he took!--it dosent take an einstein to work that one out!!

Wooooooooooooossssssssssssshhhhhhhh.


What is it with dense peoople today?

Originally posted by saxon51
You don't remember Sam Miguel then mikeyspikey?

Do a search of some of his other 'wind-up' posts.:thumbsup:

Alas we haven't heard from him for a long time, but believe me, Sam's posts were very rarely serious. He is missed by us all I think.:(
only posted so i could tell the world about my son doing so well!!---and personally i think were better off without so called wind-up merchants!

Commandment #11:

Thou shalt not take the name of Sam Mig in vain. (unless of course one of his inventions/ideas goes pear-shape on you and you lose a dangly bit, in which case it's your own fault for taking any notice of him in the first place)!!!!

If you're reading this SM, hope you're well son.:thumbsup:

Originally posted by mikeyspikey
only posted so i could tell the world about my son doing so well!!---and personally i think were better off without so called wind-up merchants!

I quite agree....there is far too much frivolity on this forum :|

Originally posted by JoeP
Why not skip the GCSEs and go straight for a Doctor of Divinity from the Reverend Pastor Aloysius T Burgerbar of the West Virginian Seminary of Religious Thought and Gene Pool Stagnation?

After all, a Doctor is a Doctor is a Doctor, so wht not skip that tedium about finding out how people tick and just sign up as a doctor for the NHS? Now they're being told not to poach from overseas they'll nede all the help they can get.

Is he any good at staying awake for 6 days without seeing the King of the Potatoe People?

Joe

I know how to poach an egg but how do you poach a doctor?

hi sam jst readu ur postl ol and im lyk 2years behind hee hee where did ur mate get dem certificates frm?

i knw sum1 dat wants one cuz they keep fialing der maths if u dntm ynd wud u kindly post it on here d addy or numb or u can send me a private message.

I know how to poach an egg but how do you poach a doctor?

Same way as an egg :hihi:

Has no one noticed this thread is over a year old? :heyhey:

Now nearing it's second birthday:hihi:

hi sam jst readu ur postl ol and im lyk 2years behind hee hee where did ur mate get dem certificates frm?
i knw sum1 dat wants one cuz they keep fialing der maths if u dntm ynd wud u kindly post it on here d addy or numb or u can send me a private message.
Can someone please translate that for me....ta.

Welcome to SF RHY88, btw. Any chance you leave the unnecessary textspeak on your mobile, please?:)

sorry.......

Can someone please translate that for me....ta.

I think it's supposed to read:

"Hi Sam, just read your post. I am two years behind [in that the thread is 2yrs old] but where did your friend get the fake GCSE certificates from?

I know somebody who wants one as they keep failing their maths. If you don't mind would you kindly post the address or number, or send me a PM"

But as SM is long gone from the forum, and that this thread was posted as a wind-up in the first place, I'd tell your friend to keep trying...

thankyou :)

Very funny thread :)
Seems like your all mad in this forum then :D
Will have to stick around for a bit and see what you
get up to

i knw sum1 dat wants one cuz they keep fialing der maths if u dntm ynd wud u kindly post it on here d addy or numb or u can send me a private message.


That actually hurt my eyes trying to read it!

I really really need this qualification too, for a friend of mine. Can you let me know where to get it from.

I can knock you one up for £30, or a special forum offer of 5 for £100. Unfortunatly my printer's run out of ink, and I won't be able to get to PC World to buy more until Wednesday, so there may be a slight delay in the production of your certificates.

Drat - my hopes of online GCSE stardom are shattered : http://education.guardian.co.uk/schools/story/0,,1793137,00.html
Maybe that would have stopped people sniggering at my "O" levels (I'm only 35, I don't feel that old!

Drat - my hopes of online GCSE stardom are shattered : http://education.guardian.co.uk/schools/story/0,,1793137,00.html


He was charging £135 per certificate! That makes my prices (advertised previously on this thread) seem a bargin! Order now as prices are likely to rise early next week. I accept payment by cash or cheque :hihi:

This thread is quite funny
Like a clown:)

I got a fake first clas honours degree in LAW from the University of London on my birthday last year......it looks very convincing but what the hell can I actually do with it........the token "novelty" present.....

Pliezzz pliezz
can you give me his address or Website i wants an Certificat
pliezz can you reply fast.

Would that be the A* English Language one?

(I feel a Deja vu moment coming on!)

how can you complain when you are trying to gain an advantage through fraud

how can you complain when you are trying to gain an advantage through fraudHave you read the entire thread and realised the lack of serious intent?

how can you complain when you are trying to gain an advantage through fraud

Completely misses a joke that is THREE YEARS OLD :hihi:

Isnt that illegal?

Completely misses a joke that is THREE YEARS OLD :hihi:


Five, actually ;)

[/pedant]

Why not skip the GCSEs and go straight for a Doctor of Divinity from the Reverend Pastor Aloysius T Burgerbar of the West Virginian Seminary of Religious Thought and Gene Pool Stagnation?

After all, a Doctor is a Doctor is a Doctor, so wht not skip that tedium about finding out how people tick and just sign up as a doctor for the NHS? Now they're being told not to poach from overseas they'll need all the help they can get.

Is he any good at staying awake for 6 days without seeing the King of the Potatoe People?

Joe

lol.

Oh Joe, I do miss you.

x

Why not skip the GCSEs and go straight for a Doctor of Divinity from the Reverend Pastor Aloysius T Burgerbar of the West Virginian Seminary of Religious Thought and Gene Pool Stagnation?

After all, a Doctor is a Doctor is a Doctor, so wht not skip that tedium about finding out how people tick and just sign up as a doctor for the NHS? Now they're being told not to poach from overseas they'll nede all the help they can get.

Is he any good at staying awake for 6 days without seeing the King of the Potatoe People?

Joe

Hey, :wink: don't knock it, an "ology" is an "ology", after all... hehehe

Yup, I miss JoeP too, oh, and happy fifth-and-a-half birthday to the thread! hehe.