This is a true story from the "WordPerfect Helpline" which was
transcribed from a recording monitoring a customer care employee.
This is the actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. Now I know why they record these conversations

Helpline: "Rich Hall computer assistance; may I help you?"
Customer: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
Helpline: "What sort of trouble?"
Customer: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the
words went away."
Helpline: "Went away?"
Customer: "They disappeared."
Helpline: "Hmmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
Customer: "Nothing."
Helpline: "Nothing?"
Customer: "It's a blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
Helpline" "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
Customer: "How do I tell?"
Helpline: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"
Customer: screen?"
Customer: "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept
anything I type."
Helpline: "Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
Customer: "What's a monitor?"
Helpline: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a
TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"
Customer: "I don't know."
Helpline: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find
Where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"
Customer: "Yes, I think so."
Helpline: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if
it's plugged into the wall."
Customer: "Yes, it is."
Helpline: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that
there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"
Customer "No."
Helpline: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again
And find the other cable."
Customer: "Okay, here it is."
Helpline: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely
into the back of your computer."
Customer: "I can't reach."
Helpline: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
Customer: "No."
Helpline: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean
Way over?"
Customer: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle it's
because it's dark."
Helpline: "Dark?"
Customer: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I
have
is coming in from the window."
Helpline: "Well, turn on the office light then."
Customer: "I can't."
Helpline: "No? Why not?"
Customer: "Because there's a power failure."
Helpline: "A power.......a power failure...Aha, Okay, we've got
It sorted now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing
stuff your computer came in?"
Customer: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
Helpline: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up
just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you
bought it from."
Customer: "Really? Is it that bad?"
Helpline: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
Customer" "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"
Helpline: "Tell them you're too f......... stupid to own a
computer."
It seems that the employee is currently suing the WordPerfect organisation for
"Termination without Cause."
Coments, please:D

Hehe, I remember this from when I was on tech support helpline at PlusNet... we would fill free time looking at sites such as

http://www.techtales.com/

which has this and other sorry tales :P

* click on 'tales from the techs' on the left hand side of the screen

i believe this is years old....still funny to read though! ... thats the advantage of having a memory like a goldfish!

Anyone remember these b****** operator from hell stories?

BOFH (http://members.iinet.net.au/~bofh/)

Originally posted by max
Anyone remember these b****** operator from hell stories?

BOFH (http://members.iinet.net.au/~bofh/)


I always used to read BOFH on The Register

http://www.theregister.co.uk/odds/bofh/

havent read in past couple of years - will start again i think !

My first job after University was writing computer software for schools. Occasionally we'd go out to schools to see how the software was in use, and offer advice, etc.

The kids were often much more use in terms of support tahn the teachers - if things were broken, find a smart 8 year old to help you out rather than a teacher!

And I did have the cliched phone calls about copying discs - someone did (honestly) try to use a photocopier. They stuck the master on the platen, and put the blank disk in the paper tray. Guess what...it didn't copy the disc but the disc did melt in to the guts of the copier.

We also reworded numerous messages in the code to not read 'Press Any Key To Continue'. People were complaining about the lack of the 'Any' key.

This was in 1982-83, so things have changed a little.

Joe

Originally posted by costessey
i believe this is years old....still funny to read though! ... thats the advantage of having a memory like a goldfish!

Ha! I didn't realise it was so old - got it by email today from my sister in law! Obviously still doing the rounds:bigsmile:

When I read this a few years ago it was the IBM technical helpdesk.

Which kinda makes me think its not true - urban myth maybe?

Still its great to read it again and a little bit of me really hopes it is true, whatever company was involved!!

when we got our first proper computer, (the zx81) doesn;t really count, I explained to Mum that the mouse was used to move the cursor on the screen.

she picked up the mouse and holding it directly against the computer screen, tried to get the cursor to move.

Poor woman, we have never let her forget it even though she is now a very accomplished silver surfer