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Poem: 'I bet Charles Dickens never had this problem.'

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Today writers have to deal with dogs jumping up to their desktops and knocking a mug of coffee over the keyboard. In the nineteenth century, writers had to deal with dogs jumping up to their desktops and spilling the inkpot over the page. Mantaspook may have a rottie that wears boxers on its head, but I'll bet you any money Dickens' mutt used to hide his knickerbockers in all sorts of places. The technology and fashions may change, but the travails of the writer remain the same.

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So shut up moaning, Spook!

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Even if it is a funny moan :D

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Iā€™m sorry if I gave the impression that I was moaning, the Rottie is a delightful companion although I must admit to be somewhat aggrieved by the nature of her infiltration into our household.

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We were informed that the dog would be staying with us for the Easter weekend whilst on shore leave from the Royal National Lifeboat Institute. She has been with us ever since. I have been corresponding with the RNLI for some time and they consistently deny all knowledge of her employment, even to the extent of insisting that the photograph of her in souā€™westers at the helm of a lifeboat that appeared in the Sunday Sport on 28/4/06 is a fake.

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Her Kennel club papers arrived in the post recently, whilst there was no mention of the Lifeboat Institute I must admit I was mildly perturbed to discover that she is a qualified helicopter pilot, has been awarded the General Service Medal and has been mentioned in despatches twice.

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Thereā€™s more to this dog than meets the eye, so for the time being I am erring on the side of caution and letting her stay, after all, it may be inadvisable or even reckless to aggravate her, taking into account the fact that she can strip down and reassemble a general purpose machine gun in under three minutes, a feat that is both impressive and unnerving when you consider the size of her paws.

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Iā€™m sorry if I gave the impression that I was moaning, the Rottie is a delightful companion although I must admit to be somewhat aggrieved by the nature of her infiltration into our household.

Ā 

We were informed that the dog would be staying with us for the Easter weekend whilst on shore leave from the Royal National Lifeboat Institute. She has been with us ever since. I have been corresponding with the RNLI for some time and they consistently deny all knowledge of her employment, even to the extent of insisting that the photograph of her in souā€™westers at the helm of a lifeboat that appeared in the Sunday Sport on 28/4/06 is a fake.

Ā 

Her Kennel club papers arrived in the post recently, whilst there was no mention of the Lifeboat Institute I must admit I was mildly perturbed to discover that she is a qualified helicopter pilot, has been awarded the General Service Medal and has been mentioned in despatches twice.

Ā 

Thereā€™s more to this dog than meets the eye, so for the time being I am erring on the side of caution and letting her stay, after all, it may be inadvisable or even reckless to aggravate her, taking into account the fact that she can strip down and reassemble a general purpose machine gun in under three minutes, a feat that is both impressive and unnerving when you consider the size of her paws.

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:hihi: :hihi: :hihi: :hihi: :thumbsup:

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That's Mantaspook for you folks......:help:

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Nice one Mataspook

Does remind me of Suey, my pet hamster, many years ago, we called her Suey because she had suicidal tendencies, always amazed me how she could chew through an electric cable and not get a belt, she met her match one day with Ferguson when she chewed her way into his back and had the biggest battle with an E,H,T lead, no winners that day, she was fried to a cinder and my dad had to bye a new tele.

Seriously though, that was really good, No way could I ever match that.

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Seriously though, that was really good, No way could I ever match that.

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Rubbish! I bet you could. These sort of limerick type poems almost write themselves once you think of two words that rhyme, I knocked that one out in 35 minutes, It could do with some polishing Iā€™ve already spotted a 3 of 4 mistakes (ie: replace ā€˜half round tilerā€™ with ā€˜half eaten tilerā€™)

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Hereā€™s one that took 7 minutes

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Suey the Hamster had one major fault,

chewed a wire in the telly and met 2000 volts,

The poor little critter didnā€™t know what fate meant.

Dad was distraught, having made the last payment.

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He ground up the hamster and put it on his posies,

But the following spring, instead of some roses,

Came long stemmed beasties, as big as his hand,

And a windmill that looked like it came from Holland.

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ā€œYou fool!ā€ said the neighbour ā€œYour rodent has doomed us!

Our gardens will never get rid of these pesky dutch bloomers.

For Godā€™s sake what were you thinking man!

Youā€™ll only get tulips from hamster jam.ā€

Ā 

Iā€™ll get my coatā€¦.

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she can strip down and reassemble a general purpose machine gun in under three minutes, a feat that is both impressive and unnerving when you consider the size of her paws.

Ā 

You got yourself a guard dog :)

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For what it's worth, here are my comments regarding the original poem;

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There seem to be too many syllables in places. Maybe you could cut down the lines to e.g.

line 4 Drop "As the"

line 7 Change to "The scan doth show a half..."

lines 9 & 10 Change to

"Short tussle, the rottweiler, by way of a welcome

Belches my spanner clear out of the room.."

or:

"Short tussle, the rottweiler, (we call her Linda)

Belches my spanner clear out of the window."

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