Today is my 5th wedding anniversary. Not bad for someone who was adamant they would never get married.

In my feminist days - it was because I would not pander to a male led society and follow ancient patriarchal traditions.

Later, it was just because I refused to follow the trend and conform.

after 3 times of asking, I finally agreed and had a nice (very low key) day followed by a bit of a do.

Apart from changing my surname, it wasn't a big deal and I'm now very happy.

What are your views on marriage nowadays.
Just an excuse to spend too much money?
Srill a nice tradition to enjoy
an outward show of commitment.

me and the dragon have been together 20 years next febuary,we got married in 1992 and apart from the odd scrap get on fine,not many of my mates if any are still with the lass they were with when we all knocked around together..infact i remember them saying out of our little gang about 20 of us i was voted as the one least likley to ever get married.....proved em wrong didn't i. :)

Well I've just got married (July 10) and I was like you by not wanting to get married.

However for me the right person came along and I then changed my perception and WANTED to get married.
It's an outward show of committment, but also a decleration to each other about how you truly feel.

I do think it's less and less done these days but it still means the same in the long run.

Congrats on your anniversary by the way :thumbsup:

As a non married I would say yes Marriage is still valid - its just that now its not essential as 'living in sin' is not valid! I tend to think this is a good thing as now if you get married its because you want to rather than simple social pressure.

Originally posted by DaBouncer
Well I've just got married (July 10) and I was like you by not wanting to get married.

However for me the right person came along and I then changed my perception and WANTED to get married.
It's an outward show of committment, but also a decleration to each other about how you truly feel.

I do think it's less and less done these days but it still means the same in the long run.

Congrats on your anniversary by the way :thumbsup:

any bin lids on the horizon DB? or have you already got them.

I think marriage is a wonderful thing ... and you should (if you're married) count your blessings and consider yourself lucky to have someone who loves you and wants to be with you for the rest of there days.

A blessing indeed.

Originally posted by kirky
any bin lids on the horizon DB? or have you already got them.
Not yet mate - we're planning on getting pregnant (well the trouble n strife anyway ;) ) in about 4 yrs time. We're both 26 and think that if we have a couple of big time holidays (which is unpracticle with young kids) like a 4 week fly drive in the states out of the way first.

Also enjoy the Z3 for a bit then we'll trade it for a Mariva (or something similar) when the tiny bundles of poop and screams come calling from our friend the stork :thumbsup:

i was 23 when we had our first our girt was 16..everyone told us we were too young,well our lass was anyway...they were probably right but now she's 18(daughter not wife lol) we are still youg enough (awaits sarky comments) to go out with her as i do usually once a month either to aqua or niche,her mates think we're the coolest parents out because of this,so having her young wasn't such a bad idea.

That's good but we're at the inbetween stage now.
However you wanted her at that young age, we want to enjoy our early married life as just us for a while then decide on having some kids.

And as far as clubbing goes, I can go clubbing with my dad (as he regularly came down to the club I used to work the door at).
He's in his 50's and still works the doors in toytown!

His bird is in her 30's (like 32 I think), ok maybe not the best role model but still a parent who know's how to party.
So it really makes no odds I think.

Besides, when I feel responsible enough to be looking after myself then I think I'll be able to take that next step into parenthood :P

I think marriage is still valid and that's why I'm planning to propose to my girlfriend. Can't go into too much detail as she comes on here every so often so I don't want to give the game away. She already knows that I plan to ask her, but she has no idea how it will happen or where.

Getting Married would be lovely, if it worked!!!, trouble is it doesn't last, too many problems are associated with it, I.E. religion, families, differences of opinion, sex, boredom, poverty, babies, disturbed sleep, illness, arguments, seems to me that in marriage there has to be a doormat, either male or female and a dominant one, to dictate, domineer, and insult the other one.Marriage for me?Thanks, but no Thanks.

Originally posted by DaBouncer
That's good but we're at the inbetween stage now.
However you wanted her at that young age, we want to enjoy our early married life as just us for a while then decide on having some kids.

And as far as clubbing goes, I can go clubbing with my dad (as he regularly came down to the club I used to work the door at).
He's in his 50's and still works the doors in toytown!

His bird is in her 30's (like 32 I think), ok maybe not the best role model but still a parent who know's how to party.
So it really makes no odds I think.

Besides, when I feel responsible enough to be looking after myself then I think I'll be able to take that next step into parenthood :P

do you know mosssy? he runs the door at our place

I will have been married for 28years in September amazing seeing as my family gave us 6 months & I love her just as much Aaaaaaaaah

Originally posted by halevan
Getting Married would be lovely, if it worked!!!, trouble is it doesn't last, too many problems are associated with it, I.E. religion, families, differences of opinion, sex, boredom, poverty, babies, disturbed sleep, illness, arguments, seems to me that in marriage there has to be a doormat, either male or female and a dominant one, to dictate, domineer, and insult the other one.Marriage for me?Thanks, but no Thanks.
Well aren't we Mr The Glass is Half Empty today Hal :lol:

Cheer Up Mr Meldrew, life isn't all that bad mate!:thumbsup:

Originally posted by halevan
Getting Married would be lovely, if it worked!!!, trouble is it doesn't last, too many problems are associated with it, I.E. religion, families, differences of opinion, sex, boredom, poverty, babies, disturbed sleep, illness, arguments, seems to me that in marriage there has to be a doormat, either male or female and a dominant one, to dictate, domineer, and insult the other one.Marriage for me?Thanks, but no Thanks.

LMAO! And I thought I was pessemistic! :lol:

Seriously mate you need to cheer up.

Originally posted by Rich
LMAO! And I thought I was pessemistic! :lol:

Seriously mate you need to cheer up.

he obviously has had no offers and lives at home with his mum:)

Originally posted by kirky
he obviously has had no offers and lives at home with his mum:)

Like Norman Bates?

Marriage is not worth the paper it's written on,it is simply a way for women to take you to the cleaners if you are silly enough to go ahead with it.
Besides around half of them dont last anyway,no if you really want to live with someone then live over the brush.
Who the hell gives a monkeys about making a declaration to the world, sod the world if you are happy as you are then it's no ones buisness but your own.

Originally posted by royjames
Marriage is not worth the paper it's written on,it is simply a way for women to take you to the cleaners if you are silly enough to go ahead with it.
Besides around half of them dont last anyway,no if you really want to live with someone then live over the brush.
Who the hell gives a monkeys about making a declaration to the world, sod the world if you are happy as you are then it's no ones buisness but your own.
I pity people like you.

i always said that i would never get married, then 4 years ago i met this bloke in skegness (of all places), didnt think anything would come of it, i was little miss independent, did what i want, went where i wanted, saw who i wanted. we got married 2 years ago, and its the best thing that i have ever done.

I have mixed feelings about marriage. If it's with the right person then I imagine it can be wonderful and there's plenty of happy couples out there to prove it. We only hear about the bad side of it because bad news travels faster than good and all the happy couples are out there being happy minding their own business while the divorcees and cheaters are moaning about being unhappy and feeling unfulfilled.....therefore we all get to hear about it.

The negative side of marriage, court settlements etc, breakups,bitterness and all that can really put people off wanting to get married but people still do it regularly so it must still be high on many people's wish list. One of the only things I don't believe in is the whole religion side that goes with it. I'm not religious, to the point of being anti-religion, and if I ever decide to get married then I don't want to feel I have to pretend to believe in god and join the local congregation 3 months previous to my wedding just because I'm getting married in a church. I'd rather get married on the beach or in nice surroundings somewhere.

I have no idea if I'll ever get married. I've not met a person that I'd like to marry yet but that doesn't mean that I won't. In the foreseeable future it's very unlikely as I'm enjoying being single for now.

I wouldn't mind being married, if I was so lucky enough to meet someone who'd have me that is.

My take on the "marriage is just a bit of paper" thing is that the most important bit is how you feel about each other and if you love each other or not. That has to be first and foremost ... after that I think it is a personal decision if to marry or not (to cement the feelings).

I do think you have to be strong enough to be vulnerable and risk getting 'stung' if you ever wanna truely care for and love another human being.

Actually, our the marriage started off well enough, but then on the way home from the reception.....

Do you know, my wife closes her eyes when we make love - she hates to see me enjoy myself.

I will never forget that happy spring morning in May 1987 - just before I walked in the Registry Office.

Originally posted by halevan
Getting Married would be lovely, if it worked!!!, trouble is it doesn't last, too many problems are associated with it, I.E. religion, families, differences of opinion, sex, boredom, poverty, babies, disturbed sleep, illness, arguments, seems to me that in marriage there has to be a doormat, either male or female and a dominant one, to dictate, domineer, and insult the other one.Marriage for me?Thanks, but no Thanks.


IF you can't stand the heat then don't go in the kitchen.
marriage is for those that truly love, not for those who think they may.
read the marriage vows and then try to understand them, then you'll realise they're a warning about hardship, envy, jealousy, poverty and sickness.
These things happen in life and relationships, you'd have to hack that with your wife(if you had one), bear in mind these conditions/promise apply until one of you dies!
If this scares you then think seriously before ever committing yourself to some one in this way.
Marriage can make the weak strong, Can bring Victory over adversity but it can't bring love if there wasn't true love there in the first place.

civil marriage is a social contract.
it is a secular form of church marriage, which was also a social contract (but with an enforcement clause)

It existed, primarily, to control inheritance and lineage - which was once terribly important (wealthy daughters would marry landless halfwits with titles etc.) It also amounted to institutionalised slavery, with wife beating only recently (relatively speaking) outlawed.

To my mind the binding power of marriage is built on the expectations raised in the peers who witnessed the ceremony, and not in the largely manufactured notions of romantic love that permeate the wedding industry, the media, and literature.

It's not for me. If other people want to thats fine, but I see no reason why, for example, a married couple should be conferred any advantages over an unmarried one...

A Catholic Church marriage is a sacrament.
That is a "gift from God"
The longer that I am married to my wife the more I realise the enormity of the gift I have been given, and it defies words.
It will be 22 years next month
that means we will have spent the majority of our lives together,
I can't ask for anything more, except to be greedy and ask for as much time as is possible for ever!
"Till death do us part"
It's in the vows, and it breaks my heart to realise that one day we may be seperated, if only for a while!

Originally posted by royjames
Marriage is not worth the paper it's written on,it is simply a way for women to take you to the cleaners if you are silly enough to go ahead with it.
Besides around half of them dont last anyway,no if you really want to live with someone then live over the brush.
Who the hell gives a monkeys about making a declaration to the world, sod the world if you are happy as you are then it's no ones buisness but your own.

Oh my word.

At the risk of getting told off by Geoff, which I don't want, I have to say that once again we're seeing poor old Roy's real side.

Turns out it's not just the fuzzy wuzzies, but the birds are a problem too.

Roy, lighten up mate. The whole world manages to turn without taking the problems that you constantly highlight to heart.

Originally posted by bulldog D
A Catholic Church marriage is a sacrament.
That is a "gift from God"
The longer that I am married to my wife the more I realise the enormity of the gift I have been given, and it defies words.
It will be 22 years next month
that means we will have spent the majority of our lives together,
I can't ask for anything more, except to be greedy and ask for as much time as is possible for ever!
"Till death do us part"
It's in the vows, and it breaks my heart to realise that one day we may be seperated, if only for a while!

Just wondering: does this thread come with its own sick bag?

That's WAY too much information :)

Mojo, don't you just think that it so cool to be able to say those things?

When there are so many nasty things in our world, for two people to find something so good is to be respected and admired, not ridiculed.

I consider myself equally lucky :thumbsup:

Originally posted by Tony
Mojo, don't you just think that it so cool to be able to say those things?

When there are so many nasty things in our world, for two people to find something so good is to be respected and admired, not ridiculed.

I consider myself equally lucky :thumbsup:

No offence meant. I too have a strong relationship, but personally I squirm at such a public show of emotion. It reads like Posh & Becks speaking to a woman's magazine.

And when God comes into the equation.... well, count me out.

Originally posted by Tony

I consider myself equally lucky :thumbsup:


Me too :D

As an institution marriage might seem a little old fashioned these days but after 43 years I've nothing to say against it. The main thing is to give each other space and freedom to pursue interests that aren't shared but to pull together in things that are....a lot of give and take required.

My wife is a strong Catholic and although I don't share her belief the difference has never caused any problems for us. Our two kids have both been through divorce and re-marriage so I can appreciate other points of view about it not always being the right thing to do.

personally i love marriage and everything to do with it! I'm getting married next may in the dominican republic to a gorgeous southerner i met while living in greece four years ago! as for kids i'm definately waiting a while!!

i think if 2 people are commited 2 each other and in love then marrige is a natural progression. it probably soundsa bit soapy and luvy duvy but ithink a lot of young people who years ago thought marrige wasnt cool are changing there attitude.

I dont think i will ever get married... I dont need writing on a sheet of paper to tell me how much i love the man in my life and that we would be sharing the rest of our lives together... We would already know that through the love and support we'd give and show one another...

Names can be changed by depole... so there is no need to go to all that expence for those old friends and family that you havent seen in years popping out of the wood work...

But there again after saying all this... Just by chance... i could meet that one special person who proposes to me and cant resist in saying 'YES' lol (now theres a thought!)

I think marriage is still valid, but I may be a bit prejudiced as I am getting married soon! But having said that, we wouldn't be doing it if we weren't both certain we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together! :)

Patchy you are so naive,but I hope it works out for you.
Ihave been down this path and I went into it thinking this is it I will be happy forever with this woman but some times people change and there is nothing you can do about it.
Anyway like angel says if you love someone then that shoul'd be enough without having to make this big gesture.
I must sound bitter but im not ,just more wordly than when I was young and daft.
I will never do it again no matter who the woman is it coul'd be nicola cruise never again.

Originally posted by Angel05
But there again after saying all this... Just by chance... i could meet that one special person who proposes to me and cant resist in saying 'YES' lol (now theres a thought!)

I agreed with most of what you had to say angel, but have a question for you regarding the above quoted bit of your post.

If you're not that bothered about being married, but are proposed to by someone you love, and said yes. Would you be doing it for them or for yourself !?

I guess it's a hard one to answer and you really wouldn't know until you get there.

Im married and its the best thing i have ever done.. I was one of these women who didnt want kids and didnt need a full time man.

Now im married and have a baby girl and boy and sooo in love i realised i just hadnt met the right "one"

Originally posted by royjames
Patchy you are so naive,but I hope it works out for you.


I don't think that the fact that I don't see marriage as "simply a way for a woman to take you to the cleaners" makes me naive. If it does, then I would much rather spend the rest of my life happy in naivity with my wife than spend my life living in fear of all women! (Even those women who can trace their ancestry to before the Stone Age!!) :thumbsup:

Jamie...

If you read my post.. it did actually state... Someone 'Special' but there again to be with someone they would always have to be special... so i would say that to get married... there would have to be something very strong there to get me down the aisle as it would break my heart to know my marriage wasnt based on true love... I am all for marriage lasting a life time...

I guess it boils down to being scared!

I dont wanna be thinking of marriage yet anyway!!!... I like my freedom!!!

Thanks for the reply Angel.

Surely marriage has everything to do with freedom ... a free choice people make to spend the rest of their days together ? ...

Although ... it could be argued that commiting your whole life to another person has an element of dis-honesty about it.

You do not know how you will feel about your partner in years to come and things (read: people and feelings) change. So to make a promise that you will love someone forever seems somewhat of a lie to me.

You may find yourself at any moment in time to be in love with a person and desire to spend your time together ... but I do not think you can know how long it will last.

All you can really do is be truthful (both with yourself and others) honest and kind with all people for every moment of your life.

I just think promising your whole life to a person is a bit odd ... but then maybe I don't fully understand what it's all about anyway ... this crazy love thing.

EDIT:

Having said all that ... it's never so simple and I don't think anything is hard and fast etched in stone.

I think it is a difficult choice to make... But its like some people say 'They know when they have met that right person'... (love at first sight if you want to call it that) I so believe in that... as thats what happened to my parents... One dance and they were in love...

So maybe that tells us that we have not yet met that 'ONE' person that we so want to spend the rest of our lives with.....

It can be quite daunting to think that you are going to be with that one person for the rest of your years... But thats what love is... That one person should mean everything to you & more...

Love can be hard to understand at times... there are several kinds... Not many people know what real 'LOVE' is....

I thought i knew... but looking back now 'Did i???'

Originally posted by halevan
....too many problems are associated with it, I.E. religion, families, differences of opinion, sex, boredom, poverty, babies, disturbed sleep, illness, arguments, seems to me that in marriage there has to be a doormat, either male or female and a dominant one, to dictate, domineer, and insult the other one...

Oh boo hoo, yours didn't work? Well sorry about that. You either didn't work at it or you were with the wrong person. A long time ago I was in a bad relationship which involved all kinds of abuse. I had the sense to get out of the situation eventually and I moved on. It didn't make me scared about meeting someone else though. As for my marriage to Mr. Funke, well we are the same religion, our family background's are similar, we both like sex, we are never bored, we have no kids (and don't plan on any), therefore our sleep is never disturbed. We are healthy and happy. We argue rarely and have few differences of opinion. We both have our good and bad points. We accept each others weakness and pool our strengths. I waited 40 years to find him but it was bloody well worth the wait. He's my best friend. I find it insulting that you insinuate that in all marriages one person is a doormat. Now way am I one now and never will be again. I see marriage as a business partnership where each person contributes to the happiness and well being of the other. I'm happy when he's happy and vice versa. We bounce off each other. I do my thing and he does his and we meet in the middle. It's hard work too. I'm not saying it's easy either.

Originally posted by royjames
Marriage is not worth the paper it's written on,it is simply a way for women to take you to the cleaners if you are silly enough to go ahead with it.

And as for that load of crap.. People like you will end up sad, bitter and lonely like Halevan. Disappointed with life. Feeling like you got a raw deal.

p.s. I earn more than my husband and he would still give me his last penny if I asked him to. Money and possessions aren't everything.

Well Funke you are entitled to your opinion,but dont forget that marriage was devised with the intention of providing a home for children and seeing as you dont have any or indeed want any then you are missing the whole point of marriage.
Sorry to say this but you sound a very self centred and selfish person.

I have been with my husband for 7 years (yikes).

He annoys me like my father does (he's older). He irritates the life out of me at times like my brother used to. Saying this he also loves me like a husband should do.

I was also "never getting married" and people never expected me to either.

He asked me out on a date when I really didn't want to date. I thought what the hell, he had the guts enough to ask.

After one date I told my mother if I didn't marry him I wouldn't marry at all. She choked on her cuppa.

After 4 months together he became seriously ill. People thought I was mad to stick with him.

I knew he was worth it, and he got better.

We now have 2 children.

We got married for our chldren as I'm sure we would have been fine anyway without marriage.

I am pleased to say that I am lucky enough to have a lovely strong family of my own now.

I personally agree with marriage especially if children are involved.

Each to their own though.

Originally posted by royjames
Well Funke you are entitled to your opinion,but dont forget that marriage was devised with the intention of providing a home for children and seeing as you dont have any or indeed want any then you are missing the whole point of marriage.
Sorry to say this but you sound a very self centred and selfish person.

I am too old for children now. 43 for me is not an age to be starting a family. Not that what I want is any of your business. But how you got self centred and selfish out of me declaring that I am in a happy marriage confuses me. How am I selfish?

What does everyone else think?

We provide a happy home for each other. How on earth is that selfish? I absolutely know the point of marriage. Commitment, trust, love, respect, honesty. etc etc. Marriage these days isn't "devised" just for children. You think you're so worldly, in your words. Well, so am I. I know what it feels like to be lonely and unloved. Leave us happy people alone. If I am selfish then so be it.

And yes, that's my opinion.
Thank you
Mrs. Funke.

Originally posted by halevan
Getting Married would be lovely, if it worked!!!, trouble is it doesn't last, too many problems are associated with it, I.E. religion, families, differences of opinion, sex, boredom, poverty, babies, disturbed sleep, illness, arguments, seems to me that in marriage there has to be a doormat, either male or female and a dominant one, to dictate, domineer, and insult the other one.Marriage for me?Thanks, but no Thanks.
Deary me ! sounds like you got burned. Ever heard of shared responsibility, negotiation and mutual respect.

Originally posted by mojoworking
Just wondering: does this thread come with its own sick bag?

That's WAY too much information :)

A. Sick bags are for those who are incapable of travel, and we all travel, if not through distance, through time.
Some of us do not suffer the inconvenience of feeling sick following the honest expressions of others as life has equipped us to deal with these things.
I would multiply everything I stated previously Tenfold if it was humanly possible to fully express the amount of love I have for my wife.
Admittedly I may be the exception,perhaps,but then again perhaps not.
As for Posh ,Becks and women's magazine Interview's we're fussy and haven't done media as a couple!
As for the God bit I was trying to explain Marriage from the Catholic viewpoint, take it or leave it.
I'm not asking for your blessing on this, I don't need it!

Originally posted by royjames
Well Funke you are entitled to your opinion,but dont forget that marriage was devised with the intention of providing a home for children and seeing as you dont have any or indeed want any then you are missing the whole point of marriage.
Sorry to say this but you sound a very self centred and selfish person.

You seem to have some very strange views on marriage and you seem very bitter. You really don't have to try to be rude to everyone who has a happy marriage just because yours didn't last! It seems to me that the self centred and selfish person is the one who is bitter about other people who have a happy and successful married life!

Originally posted by bulldog D
A. Sick bags are for those who are incapable of travel, and we all travel, if not through distance, through time.
Some of us do not suffer the inconvenience of feeling sick following the honest expressions of others as life has equipped us to deal with these things.
I would multiply everything I stated previously Tenfold if it was humanly possible to fully express the amount of love I have for my wife.
Admittedly I may be the exception,perhaps,but then again perhaps not.
As for Posh ,Becks and women's magazine Interview's we're fussy and haven't done media as a couple!
As for the God bit I was trying to explain Marriage from the Catholic viewpoint, take it or leave it.
I'm not asking for your blessing on this, I don't need it!

You're entitled to say what you like, of course. Good luck to you. However, some people find such public displays of schmaltz distasteful.

No offence, naturally

Bonny is living proof of what i have said... Some people just know when its right...

Never say Never!

Patchy plz tell me what strange views I have about marriage,all I have said about marriage is that it was begun with the intention of providing a loving enviroment for the bringing up if children.
Now if that s strange then hell we really are living in a weird world,as for being rude sorry but that is my opinion,I dont think I was overtly rude at all.
And lastly not in the least bit bitter,just a little wiser.

For someone so young I have slightly cynical views on Marriage, namely the divorce statistic. I do tend to think why bother as marriage for me holds no religious significance as I have no religious beliefs, as a sign of committment, there are other ways of showing committment to someone, ie staying with them and not cheating, but marriage is legally binding and offers a deeper sense of security, so I do get both sides of the argument.
I know and am good friends with two couples who are engaged to be married and they seem really happy and as a result their relationship has gone from strength to strength and I am very happy for them. I also know someone else who has left her husband and kids and is getting married to another man (who incidently has a very bad track record, love em and leave em, normally with a baby) and I can only pray it works out.
Serial monogamy. Jim Davidson and what about J-lo!!!???? jeez some people get married just for the ceremony and collecting the rings!!!
Who knows though? As someone said you cant predict the future as to whether you will stay together till the grave. Personally Im all for living in sin, marriage is a natural progression from that and maybe one day I'll walk down the aisle. Or maybe I'll end up as some Ms Haversham creature and surround myself with cats :D

Originally posted by royjames
Patchy plz tell me what strange views I have about marriage,all I have said about marriage is that it was begun with the intention of providing a loving enviroment for the bringing up if children.
Now if that s strange then hell we really are living in a weird world,as for being rude sorry but that is my opinion,I dont think I was overtly rude at all.
And lastly not in the least bit bitter,just a little wiser.

Strange views about marriage? You have the view that it is simply a way for a woman to take a man to the cleaners, you have the view that people who get married are naive, selfish and self centred, you have your view that mixed race marriages are wrong. Maybe I am wrong for thinking those views of marriage are strange, but if I went into marriage sharing those views then I certainly wouldn't expect my marriage to last either and I am sincerely glad that she got away from you! :confused:

Originally posted by Patchy
Strange views about marriage? You have the view that it is simply a way for a woman to take a man to the cleaners, you have the view that people who get married are naive, selfish and self centred, you have your view that mixed race marriages are wrong. Maybe I am wrong for thinking those views of marriage are strange, but if I went into marriage sharing those views then I certainly wouldn't expect my marriage to last either and I am sincerely glad that she got away from you! :confused:

Roy has strange views about everything.

No Patchy I said you are selfish not everyone who gets married,after all most people get maried because they love each other AND they want to have a loving enviroment in which to have children.
You have said you dont need or WANT kids so why go through with this releigous ceremony if all you want is to live togeather.
Let me try to get this through to you one more time,marriage was INVENTED to bring children into the world with the approval of the church and the state.
You sound like the me me type who is only concerned with their life.
It really is fortunate that you dont have kids with your attitude.

Not all people want children though. There is nothing wrong with not wanting children.

Yes marriage was brought about for the sake of children, also for property rights and the protection of bloodlines.

It wasn't until the thwelfth century that love came into the equation as far as marriages were concerned. Until that point marriages were always based on the above reasons, with a lot of marriages requiring that you married a family member. We all know what sort of problems that can bring about with regard to children of these marriages.

The religious aspect of marriage (churches etc) didn't start happening until the 1500s.

So you see Roy, it hasn't been the only reason for marriage for a long time (to have children). Marrying under religious circumstances is also not the only option and has not always been the only option either.

I wonder what your thoughts are on people with children who get divorced?

One last thought.

Another aspect of early marriage was that a dowry was given to the groom (still happens now in some cultures). Your view is that marriage enables women to take men to the cleaners. Where does this example fit in then Roy. Is that not the reverse of what you are saying?

Marriage is good for you

It seems that staying single can have the same effect on mortality as smoking....


http://news.independent.co.uk/uk/this_britain/story.jsp?story=556309

All these mad people who spend thousands on a wedding need their heads looking at.

Me and my charming husband of 10 years spent about £80 on ours. Civil ceremony, no photos, no flowers, no special clothes and two guests. Lovely little meal afterwards at a local hostelery.

Job a goodun with all our money in tact to spend on our home.

Pomp and ceremony is a total waste of time in my books, over and done with in no time at all and with nothing to show for it.

That's an interesting point Mo, and remarkably similar to our wedding. 13 at our reception, including us! However, over a hundred turned out on their lunch hour to come down to the register office :)

I always think the difference is that some people want to GET married (or together), and some people want to BE married (or together).

We're in the latter catagory, and better for it. :thumbsup:

Originally posted by Mo
All these mad people who spend thousands on a wedding need their heads looking at.

Me and my charming husband of 10 years spent about £80 on ours. Civil ceremony, no photos, no flowers, no special clothes and two guests. Lovely little meal afterwards at a local hostelery.

Job a goodun with all our money in tact to spend on our home.

Pomp and ceremony is a total waste of time in my books, over and done with in no time at all and with nothing to show for it.

Although I agree with you to some extent (circa £1700 for my wedding), some costly weddings are not about "pomp" but more about culture and tradition.

I got married in the registry office and so did my wife.

We didn't feel the need to have a lavish church wedding. We are married and that is that.

As for marriage, I think it's great. We tied the knot back in 1987, and I've never regretted it once.

Several hundred times, yes , not just once.

Seriously, though: I love my wife just as much now as I did then.

Soppy old fool that I am.

When I got married I decided that I just didnt want a big wedding, all my family were in Sheffield, my husband family were in Nottingham, so we buggered off to Las Vegas and did it there...
we had a brilliant time just the two of us.

Originally posted by royjames
No Patchy I said you are selfish not everyone who gets married,after all most people get maried because they love each other AND they want to have a loving enviroment in which to have children.
You have said you dont need or WANT kids so why go through with this releigous ceremony if all you want is to live togeather.
Let me try to get this through to you one more time,marriage was INVENTED to bring children into the world with the approval of the church and the state.
You sound like the me me type who is only concerned with their life.
It really is fortunate that you dont have kids with your attitude.

Eh? When did I say I didn't want kids? Please quote the post where I said that! You really should think before posting... I've already noticed many contradictary posts by you! :loopy: