BAZZO
15-08-2004, 00:22
The news that Sheffield Hallam has bestowed another bucketful of Honorary degrees on 15 worthies has prompted our group to follow their noble example.
Although not from the heights of academia we feel that as patrons of the Cock and Bottle we can recognize and reward achievement when we see it.
After lengthy consideration we have compiled a short-list to emulate the ground-breaking largesse of our learned friends at Hallam.
The list was to have included the distinguished editors of both Sheffield newspapers.Unfortunately Hallam pipped us to the post so we have nominated the compositor of the Green Un.Cynics might link this with some recent embarrassing results inflicted on our pub football squad but any such suggestion would be vigorously denied.
Another nomination is for a young lady called Candy who performs at the Spearmint Rhino.She is recognized for her outstanding work in the relief of erectile dysfunction among
elderly males in Sheffield.
In keeping with the need to promote the role of women in society
we have wholeheartedly awarded a double honour to Betty who serves behind the bar on Tuesdays and Fridays.While some may
say that her attributes tend to be in the cleavage department she nevertheless contributes to the ambience of the hostelry and
represents a valuable asset in Sheffield's tourist portfolio.
As yet we have not decided on the format for the Graduation Ceremony but the consensus seems to favour informality and a casual dress code.The Dancing Dollar has been proposed by several of our learned members but this has not yet been put to the vote.
Although not from the heights of academia we feel that as patrons of the Cock and Bottle we can recognize and reward achievement when we see it.
After lengthy consideration we have compiled a short-list to emulate the ground-breaking largesse of our learned friends at Hallam.
The list was to have included the distinguished editors of both Sheffield newspapers.Unfortunately Hallam pipped us to the post so we have nominated the compositor of the Green Un.Cynics might link this with some recent embarrassing results inflicted on our pub football squad but any such suggestion would be vigorously denied.
Another nomination is for a young lady called Candy who performs at the Spearmint Rhino.She is recognized for her outstanding work in the relief of erectile dysfunction among
elderly males in Sheffield.
In keeping with the need to promote the role of women in society
we have wholeheartedly awarded a double honour to Betty who serves behind the bar on Tuesdays and Fridays.While some may
say that her attributes tend to be in the cleavage department she nevertheless contributes to the ambience of the hostelry and
represents a valuable asset in Sheffield's tourist portfolio.
As yet we have not decided on the format for the Graduation Ceremony but the consensus seems to favour informality and a casual dress code.The Dancing Dollar has been proposed by several of our learned members but this has not yet been put to the vote.