Apparently ... people respond much better to praise (you did this good ... you're good at that) than they do critisism (you're crap ... that's wrong).

We get critisism from people most every day ... how do you personally deal with it ?

Accept it and feel crap about yourself ?

Tell them to sod off ?

Somewhere in between ?

Be around better people. I don't get critisism most every day... hardly ever in fact.

I am my own worst critic. I analyse everything that i do. I lose sleep over it, thinking about who I am and what I have done. It's not good at all, I really do have trouble sleeping because every night I have to think about what I've done and how people may react to what I have done. The one good aspect of this, is that when someone one criticises me, i've already noticed the fault myself. I think i have every fault of mine logged, and i'm on the case sorting them out. So, it;s rare that anyone offends me by criticism, because i'm usually already aware of it.

Somewhere in between. Spometimes I know that it's valid and then I give myself a talking to and sort the problem out.

I do take criticicism badly on occasion, and am still a little apt to jump to the conclusion that people are criticising me when they're just making an observation.

Perhaps those times I feel that there IS something there in my behaviour that's debatable.

And then I get Jim, my old friend, my old automatic assault rifle, claimb to the top of the University Arts tower and wait....wait....wait..... ;-)

Joe

Like most people I think - sometimes I can take criticism and sometimes I can;t.

Depends how I feel at the time and how the feedback is given

A good manager shuold be able to feedback so that it never upsets and always leaves the person feeling better and with a way out.

I once received the following advice...
take all criticism on the chin
if you agree - do something about it and make some changes
if you don't agree - go out of you way to demonstrate the opposite behaviour to change their perception of you. You may enjoy the change and end up agreeing with them!

Praise and reward should apparently exceed criticism by 4:1.

I once worked for a manager who never praised , said she didn't think that it was a good thing. As you can imagine the environment was tense and the staff morale was lower than low.

I am like Andy - I have already over analysed my faults and eithe raccept it or bite depending on my mood...female thigns and all that.

Moon

I am like you Andy, my own worst critic! When people critisise me i usually agree, but ive learnt to not take it to heart so much as i used to.

Weird thing is, its compliments that im not very good with! If someone compliments me or says they like my work i never know what to say! I recently started painting and when someone says 'oh thats really good' I say, well its not turned out how I wanted and could be better!

lol too much of a perfectionist!

Originally posted by Andy78
I am my own worst critic. I analyse everything that i do. I lose sleep over it, thinking about who I am and what I have done. It's not good at all, I really do have trouble sleeping because every night I have to think about what I've done and how people may react to what I have done. The one good aspect of this, is that when someone one criticises me, i've already noticed the fault myself. I think i have every fault of mine logged, and i'm on the case sorting them out. So, it;s rare that anyone offends me by criticism, because i'm usually already aware of it.

Are your sure you aren't me? I'm exactly the same.

People should need to admit their own shortfalls before pointing out other people's.

Originally posted by Trekker
People should need to admit their own shortfalls before pointing out other people's.

Yep ... I completely agree Trekker.

I look at my own shortfalls all the time and inspect and analyse myself. It can at times be painful but I also think that the pain is a good motivating force for change and improvement ... so that's cool.

When I'm dancing with someone and they're doing something that is very not right and could be improved ... I always give it a lot of thought if to mention it or not ... and how to word it.

I think critisism can be very disheartening ...

i get praised a lot more than critisised. If i get critisised by the same people over and over then i do get angry and upset. otherwise i mostly laugh about it or try to adjust the way i am because of it :)

Try smiling and just nod alot. If it is work related it might help you do something better. If its personal think about the persons motives. If they are your friend they are probably trying to help if they are not then it does not matter.

Try to be around positive people. Negative people make you the same. I dont like criticism but I wouldn't let someone see that
Just smile, nod and say "really"?

Not very well. I got slagged off recently on Forum for selling sim cards (on Forum ad page) I felt a bit upset about it, but just nodded and smiled, but did not defend myself. Afterwards I felt angry and wished I had.
I'm just sensitive I suppose

I think I have some of your traits too draggletail. Thinking to defend myself and finding the right words to put the other person in their place ... well ... I can think what to say like 30 minutes later ...

I don't mind critisism if it's from someone I know / like / respect and feel it's coming from the right place.

Some people critisise and have no real knowledge or understanding of what they're talking about and you can just sense they're not doing it out of concern for your best interests. That ****** me off ... and thinking of a timely put down (for them) is in order.

Originally posted by Jamie
Some people critisise and have no real knowledge or understanding of what they're talking about and you can just sense they're not doing it out of concern for your best interests. That ****** me off ... and thinking of a timely put down (for them) is in order.

I get that quite often and I don't take it well. Strange as i'm not a fan of having my praises sung about too.

Originally posted by Nooka
I am like you Andy, my own worst critic! When people critisise me i usually agree, but ive learnt to not take it to heart so much as i used to.

Weird thing is, its compliments that im not very good with! If someone compliments me or says they like my work i never know what to say! I recently started painting and when someone says 'oh thats really good' I say, well its not turned out how I wanted and could be better!

lol too much of a perfectionist!
If we grow up with critisism, as adults we automatically take over where our parents left off, using negative self talk. This undermines our self image making it also difficult to accept compliments. Sure, not so for everyone but it is an all too familiar pattern. The good news is, what was learned can be unlearned.

I personally think there are different kinds of criticism both positive and negative. There is the contructive kind where, often offered by those in the teaching proffession and by friends who simply want to offer guidance, give a different viewpoint, point out things which you may have missed etc... advice which you can take or leave.

Then there is the negative sort, where people criticise for the sake of it, with no reason behind it, the "that's rubbish because it is", "youre crap because you are", those kind of people can get lost in my opinion.

On the flip side, and I think a few others have mentioned it, Im really bad at accepting praise, if anyone compliments me on something I either think theyre taking the wee, or theyre after something

Jeez... such a cynic!!!!!
:D

If I receive critisism, if it's constructive, it just fuels my determination to get things right.

However, unconstuctive critisism just gets me angry and sends me into argument mode.

Originally posted by Jamie
Apparently ... people respond much better to praise (you did this good ... you're good at that) than they do critisism (you're crap ... that's wrong).

We get critisism from people most every day ... how do you personally deal with it ?

Accept it and feel crap about yourself ?

Tell them to sod off ?

Somewhere in between ?


Prioritise!

Accept and embrace yourself!

Love yourself before loving thy neighbour!

Criticism everyday? God is dead and there is no perfect!

After all, criticism is based on the desire to be better or best!

There is always somone better at something!

There is also someone less able than yourself!

Do not forget to smile and enjoy a nice glass of wine!

I am very angry at people who criticise me all the time and it usually finishes up with a shouting match, why should I have to put up with what they decide to say to me, putting me down all the time, no way, am I going to let them get away with it and I always fall out with whoever is doing it, Male or Female.

Anyone who puts themselves into a position where they are publicly scrutinised have to be able to deal with criticism as part of their position.
This includes artists, sports men and women, politicians, writers, journalists, entertainers, celebs, businesses etc.
Handling this criticism is part of the job description and is part of the formal training some of these people undergo.
Sometimes ordinary people face public criticism such as individual police or teachers. That can be hard, I’m sure
Most people just have to deal with it through experience.

But all criticism has one thing in common. It is all based on an opinion, well informed or not.
You can take it or leave it. If you are sensitive then it can be hard to take. Suggestible people often find criticism hard but are more likely to react positively if it is constructive. Different strokes.
But politicians - including councillors - are there to be criticised - its part of the process we call democracy. If people didn't object and present an argument, then decisions could never be made effectively.
It’s just natural that the critics might be less informed - but that's what we call the opinion of the man on the street. And guess what... ...that, in political term, is what it’s all about.
Personally I love criticism. It gives me something to get my teeth into and I give as good as I get. But there’s no shame in admitting that you’re wrong. I’m often wrong. And I reserve the right to change my mind.

Its called communication and its what makes this country pretty good in my opinion.

Criticism from people you love, however, now that’s a whole different kettle of fish.

Preachy bit:nono::

If you can’t take it, take care when you dish it out – you reap what you sow.
And discretion is the better part of valour, compassion is a far greater quality than honesty and those who believe otherwise are usually insecure - think about it.

Offering praise, in all circumstances, is actually also a reflection on ones self and it can feel pretty good when you mean it. We should all do it once in a while. It can be embarrassing to accept it at times, but it’s often remembered fondly and definitely builds bridges.

If you don’t agree with me then talk to the hand. :D

Originally posted by Mr_E


Preachy bit:nono::

If you can’t take it, take care when you dish it out – you reap what you sow.
And discretion is the better part of valour, compassion is a far greater quality than honesty and those who believe otherwise are usually insecure - think about it.

Offering praise, in all circumstances, is actually also a reflection on ones self and it can feel pretty good when you mean it. We should all do it once in a while. It can be embarrassing to accept it at times, but it’s often remembered fondly and definitely builds bridges.

If you don’t agree with me then talk to the hand. :D


Good preaching there Mr_E :D

A lot of folk don't appreciate critisism is about self-esteem. Mostly one person enhancing his/her own by attempting to reduce that of others.

If it's part of your job (and as a parent it always is) to get people to do better, always use encouragement/praise to establish your interest in their improvement before getting down to the nitty gritty of how it can be achieved.

I agree with Mosher- theres two sorts of criticism.

1) "Oh yeah good point I aint thought of it like that" that you take on board and learn from.

2) Or where someones just being snide.

Trouble is it ain't always as clean cut as that is it?

If you wanna spare someones feelings one thing i got taught at work was a "s**t sandwich". You praise, you criticise, you praise. That way you start and finish on a positive note and said person is more likely to go away thinking about what you've said rather than go away thinking you're a nazi.

At the end of the day it is up to you whether you take notice or not.

I think its a good idea to listen to any criticism, think about it, and judge for yourself.
If you think about it and decide it isn't worth taking notice of, thats fine. But don't get upset about it.

I admit it is sometimes hard to listen to criticism, especially if you are not very sure of yourself generally - and we all have times where we just think *** off I'm not interested in your opinion.

Apparently ... people respond much better to praise (you did this good ... you're good at that) than they do critisism (you're crap ... that's wrong).

We get critisism from people most every day ... how do you personally deal with it ?

Accept it and feel crap about yourself ?

Tell them to sod off ?

Somewhere in between ?

tell them to eff off !

With a round house kick between the eyes. It's the Chuck Norris way.

what l want to know is, how can you criticise someone you don't know or have never met

what l want to know is, how can you criticise someone you don't know or have never met

Via carrier pigeon?

In answer to the OP:

Badly :P

StarSparkle

PS Wow - reading this thread, I haven't seen most of these names in eons! Where are you all, people?

Criticism? Don't try it, punk, or you'll make my day...

I complained once to someone in personnel at a hospital, she said, 'you don't like criticsm do you? which quite took me aback, I replied, 'Does anyone?' to which she didn't, wouldn't or couldn't reply.

With a sharpened pointy stick.

With a sharpened pointy stick.

:hihi::hihi:;)

I dont take criticism, I CANT take criticism, You can say 100 good things about me and one bad thing and Ill fixate on the bad thing until it drives me mental.

I find it more convenient to just kill anyone who criticises me these days.

I dont take criticism, I CANT take criticism, You can say 100 good things about me and one bad thing and Ill fixate on the bad thing until it drives me mental.

I find it more convenient to just kill anyone who criticises me these days.'s

that reminds me of Alfred Lunt the actor, when he came off stage his wife applauded and gave him huge compliments, just mentioning 'you were a little tired but' (hardly noticeable amongst the plaudits) and he replied 'I was a little tired was I?'

Where I work they see the word 'criticism' as negative so prefer to use 'constructive feedback' ahem.
I try to respond well... I say 'yes I can see where you are coming from' ....but no matter how hard I try I can't stop my face portraying my true feelings, I know this is a fact due to the person in question saying everytime without fail 'is that ok?, are you sure?.....are you ok' with a very concerned look and I say 'yes, fine absolutely dandy, all taken on board'

I'm mixed in accepting criticism. I find it takes many forms, When it's a thinly veiled personal dig which if I react to invariably solicits the reply of "I'm only trying to help you grow" or some such trite arse - This usually gets met with the gnashing of teeth and profanity.
The proper constructive criticism where someone will say you did this really well but to bring your game to A grade you should look at altering this .... I can readily accept this and will try and take it on board.

Then you get the criticism which is done solely out of the person trying to big themselves up. They'll try and pull you up and sit there glorifying themselves and even identifying with your perceived failings but telling you how they managed to pull through it with their magnificent personal resolve. These are the dodgiest of the lot, I sit and smile and play nice and then write them off as useless bellends who are not worthy of the steam off my wee.

PS Wow - reading this thread, I haven't seen most of these names in eons! Where are you all, people?

There's Greybeard's ghost up there ^^^^ :P

What made you dig this one up vole? I don't think Jamie even uses the site these days does he? Old old post :)

There's Greybeard's ghost up there ^^^^ :P

:P

StarSparkle

It all depends on how the criticism is given. If it is meant kindly, as a developmental opportunity, by a trusted friend then its something to go away and think about. If its delivered in an aggressive manner by someone you have only just met then I'd be less likely to listen and take on board what they say. In fact I'd be more likely to punch them in the face

How do you handle criticism?

Worse than badly, and I collect bayonets :twisted: