View Full Version : Sheffield welcomes this year's students


volvoB10M
05-10-2006, 04:43 PM
Sheffield has just recieved this years new intake of students and Id like to extend this welcome to each and every one of you.
I hope you will enjoy your stay in our fair city and enjoy the delights it has to offer.
Listed below are a few tips to help you on your way if you are from out of town and feel a little lost.

This is Sheffield.

We live here. We are called Sheffield people. Find out all about us and the way we live!

This is a guide to Sheffield written for Students who will be studying here. Use this guide to help you become familar with the many complex, sometimes strange customs of the Sheffield People.

In these pages you will find a guide to Sheffield, culture and customs which will help to make your Stay a memorable one.

Transport:

Most people here walk from one place to another,or ride a "bicycle" (the traditional means of transport). These are very cheap ways of getting about.

Cars:

In the city, young men like to go "joyriding" in their (or someone else's) cars. Joyriding is a popular pursuit in some of the poorer areas of Sheffield, and provides a quick and inexpensive way of seeing the local attractions. Ask any young chap to take you joyriding - it's an experience you'll never forget!


Bicycles:

Many Students visiting Sheffield for the first time are amazed to see the local people travelling on the backs of these contraptions. They are provided free by the National Health Service as a means of "keeping fit", and are state-owned.
As a Student, you have a right by law to ride any unoccupied bicycle, or even to commandeer one of the many thronging the busy streets of Sheffield with the traditional cry of "Gerrorf", which roughly translates as "I, a Student of Sheffield, claim this velocopede as decreed by the law of King Charles III Jr". Be sure to pick a good bicycle, and you will enjoy hours of pleasure and sight-seeing, helped on your way by the good people of Sheffield, who encourage you with hearty cries of "Stopfeefe".
Don't worry about learning to ride; lessons (and tax & insurance) are unnecessary.

Trains:

All thetrains are owned by the estate of Lord Richard Branson. They are slow and rattly, but will take you to your destination faster than by any other means, hurtling through the outskirts of Sheffield and the hills and vales of South Yorkshire at speeds approaching 65mph.

Railway food is a great delicacy, and no train journey is complete without a delicious cup of tea, brewed by the "conductors". In the corridors and compartments of each train are bell-pulls, which summon a waiter to your seat. Use them.
Every station in the Sheffield has a crowd of Boy Scouts at the end of each platform. Clad in their bright raincoats and spectacles, and clutching notepads and pens, their job is to answer your railway queries under the affectionate gaze of the Scoutmasters, those stalwart middle-aged chaps in the macintoshes. Ask any Boy Scout to accompany you on your travels.

Buses:

Buses are always white and pink, and are frequent and comfortable. Stand at a "bus-stop", and raise your arm to stop one. Be sure to tell the driver where you are going, and don't be put off if he tells you that he isn't going there. Bus drivers enjoy pretending that they aren't allowed to vary their routes, in the hope of catching out Students. Don't let them - be persuasive!

Taxis:

All taxis are black, to distinguish them from buses. Taxi drivers are recruited from Sheffield universities and colleges, and normally have degrees in Politics, Theology or Social Sciences.
Taxi driving is a lonely job, and cabbies will enjoy answering any of your questions on issues such as immigration, Trades Unions and taxation.
A rather tricky aspect of travelling by cab is the fare. Cabbies just love to haggle, so aim to barter the driver down to around a quarter of the given price. Don't be put off by their apparent reluctance to come down; they are expert hagglers, and enjoy showing off their stubbornness!

Horse-back riding:

This is a little-known, traditional and fun way to travel. Horses are provided at football matches for travel anywhere in Sheffield for free. Simply turn up before 3pm or after 4:30pm on a Saturday, find a horse that isn't taken, and jump up behind the traditional British bobby. He will be delighted to take you to your destination - be sure to hang on tight!

Music:

The collieries, and steelworks of Sheffield once rang to the sweet and melodious sounds of the local brass bands. Nowadays, these gentlemen and ladies of the area known as North England are sponsored by telecommunications software companies, and are so pleased to play their music that they willingly give up their evenings and Saturday afternoons to entertain the local children, who are known as "brats".

Although these fellows usually perform hymns on their trumpets and tubas, they are very interested in Country & Western music, and very few brass bands fail to include songs about Trucking and deaths in the family. Remember to ask the conductor for your favourite Pulp tune!

Sacred Music:

The many Churches of Sheffield have inspired a huge following with their pipe organs and choirs. Devotees of such music are easily spotted. They wear long hair, and denim jeans and jackets, the latter with emblems upon the back, by which they indicate their church. Ask their advice on music to listen to.
In their choral devotions, choir members give thanks to God for blessing them with a wonderful life, beautiful children, and a place to practice on a Thursday evening.

Restaurant Etiquette:

When you arrive, do not wait to be seated. March confidently to the table you require. If it is occupied, stand next to the table and watch the diners carefully until they leave. Summon a waiter with the traditional cry of "Oy-yoo!" Pay no attention to the menu, but order your favourite meal. Best of all, order a Tbone Steak with a Waldorf salad. Every restaurant sells this; do not accept a steak less than 10 pounds in weight.
If you see a waiter passing with food that is on fire, do not be alarmed. It is traditional for diners to light their cigars in the flames (this lends extra flavour to your smoke!); stop the waiter and take advantage of this service.
The wine list disturbs many visitors, until it is explained that the figures next to each wine are not the asking price, but the proprietor's indication of the cost to him of the wine by the barrel. Wine in restaurants is very heavily subsidised, and even the most expensive champagne is likely to cost less than 25p a bottle. Order plenty, and take advantage of these low prices to "stock up" for friends and family back home.

The Sheffield Pub:

These are, of course, renowned the world over as places to get to know the local people. To ensure a pleasant evening's drinking, follow these tips:
Select your pub carefully. The best pubs are those in the inner cities, around some of the least salubrious housing. The people here cannot afford to go out, so pubs in these districts are full of upper-crust Sheffielder who travel here in their Bentley cars to get away from the hustle and bustle of country pubs.

Mix with the locals. These "toffs" often put on a coarse accent after a glass or two of beer; do not be intimidated, they are resting their throats after talking "posh" all day. They will be glad to play Eton college word-games: "Get Up, That's My Seat", "You look a puff-to-me!" and "Is-she-for sale?" Call out one of these games to any large chap, and have fun.

Order your drinks carefully. Barstaff are notoriously dishonest (indeed, they are proud of this tradition, and enjoy having their "leg pulled"). If you order a spirit drink, they will pour a little into your glass; insist on it being topped up to the brim. When tasting your first sip of beer, exclaim that there must be water in it. They will admire you for your candour, and will offer to buy you a drink "on the house". Pubs that sell "real ale" are attempting to emulate Budweiser beer; let the landlord know where he is going wrong. He will be very grateful for advice.

"Darts" is a common pub game. Your opponent will throw darts at the circular board - your object is to pull them out faster than he can throw them. If you see a game in progress, reserve your place by rubbing out all the numbers on the blackboard.

It is common to find pool tables in pubs. Beware, they are not playing to regulation rules! To join a game of pool already in progress, simply pick up one of the cues provided, walk to the table, and quickly cue the black ball into the nearest pocket. You are now in the game. The object is to pot all your balls as quickly as possible without disturbing the white. Don't be disheartened if you miss a shot; quickly move on to the next. You score extra points for "blocking" your opponent's attempts to shoot, using your hands.

Remember that free snacks, such as crisps and peanuts, are kept behind the bar to retain freshness. For goodness' sake, don't let them "rip you off" by demanding money!

At about 11 o'clock, it is traditional for the barstaff to call the game of "time", leave their posts and wander around the pub, shouting at people. Do not be alarmed - they may sound like they want you to leave, but in fact the reverse is the case. Sheffield pubs close after dawn, and the staff are shouting to stimulate drinkers to continue spending their money. The object of this game is to remain where you are! To ensure you don't get thirsty during this period, buy a few rounds just before 11 o'clock (it's a slow time for the staff, so use this opportunity to chat). Drink slowly. You'll have ample opportunity to catch up when the barman returns to his post.

When you do leave the pub, you are likely to find a small crowd of happy revellers outside, singing traditional songs as they await their chauffeurs. This is known as "chucking-out time" The ladies in these crowds are sad and lonely; why not ask the male chaperones if their lady friends would like to come back to your hotel? Offer to make them very happy. The men will probably ask you to discuss the pedigree of their charges in the privacy of the pub car park.

Enjoy An Indian Meal:

There are many Indian restaurants in Sheffield. Although the staff may be from the Indian sub-continent, they serve subtle, delicate British fare. Ask for the Vindaloo or the Phal.

Go at about 11:30pm ("chucking-out time"). You will be surrounded by jolly young ladies and gentlemen in high spirits. Feel free to indulge in banter with them, and to tell the chaps about your boxing training at school. Suggest a contest - they will politely decline, and offer to pay for your meal.


And remember stay safe

AGB1
05-10-2006, 04:49 PM
Who wasted their time writing that guff?
And I cant believe I just wasted 5 minutes reading it hoping to find a funny bit. Boo hoo
Alex

Rich
05-10-2006, 04:53 PM
Who wasted their time writing that guff?
And I cant believe I just wasted 5 minutes reading it hoping to find a funny bit. Boo hoo
Alex

If you don't like the thread, don't read or reply to it.. Simple isn't it?! :rant: :loopy:

BasilRathbon
05-10-2006, 04:56 PM
Being able to cut and paste is the sign of a truly witty and intelligent person....

Draggletail
05-10-2006, 05:07 PM
I too would like to extend the warm hand of friendship to the students in and around Hunters Bar.

Just a bit of advice.
Can you not go in the Porter Brook pub and take it over like you did on Tuesday. I couldn't get my usual seat. In fact I couldn't get any seat. If you'd all kindly just bugger off to the Porter Cottage instead I would be most gratified, Tim and Mandy will make you very welcome. In fact they now sell Kronenbourg 1664 on draught. If you could start the new regime tonight that would be great.

Much appreciated ;)

Draggle

dan87_fofe
23-08-2008, 02:39 AM
thats sheffield in a nutshell!!!

verydull
23-08-2008, 08:57 AM
freshers week isnt even til the 22nd september.. bit early?

oops let the cat out the bag there!

..dull..

dan87_fofe
25-08-2008, 01:55 PM
its great this year cos as a sheffield resident i used to hate this time of year!! "freshers week" you cant get in any nightclubs but now i have a girlfriend coming to sheffield hallam uni and can avoid dissapointment by getting tickets through her !!! and pretending to be a drunked student for a week,
good times!!!

catzeyesF
25-08-2008, 02:04 PM
Yes Welcome to Sheffield!

Enjoy uni life...Best times if you ask me ;)

Unisol
25-08-2008, 02:53 PM
How old is this cut/paste job.

Pre-Supertram obviously?

Hook
25-08-2008, 03:44 PM
The thread is from 2006...

pikey
25-08-2008, 04:35 PM
Yes Welcome to Sheffield!

Enjoy uni life...Best times if you ask me ;)

Ah Yes welcome to Sheffield anouther group of teenagers who will ask in every pub & shop for student union discount , who will post on forum web sites stupid posts they now not a thing about, who will no doubt by the time they've managed to get a qualification will have had to sponge of their parents £ 1000's, will spend about 8 hrs a week in class & at least 38 hrs a week in some drinking hole , will will be the bain of most of the city center police at some point & will moan When they do manage to get a qualification that they are under paid for their skills . Yes Welcome to Sheffield folks !

Tess
25-08-2008, 07:29 PM
Bring on the, "Im wondering if anyone can help me, im doing a course on so-and-so and actually would like you to tell me everything, so I dont actually have to do any work myself..." :hihi: Hi Students!

donuticus
25-08-2008, 07:34 PM
Ah Yes welcome to Sheffield anouther group of teenagers who will ask in every pub & shop for student union discount , who will post on forum web sites stupid posts they now not a thing about, who will no doubt by the time they've managed to get a qualification will have had to sponge of their parents £ 1000's, will spend about 8 hrs a week in class & at least 38 hrs a week in some drinking hole , will will be the bain of most of the city center police at some point & will moan When they do manage to get a qualification that they are under paid for their skills . Yes Welcome to Sheffield folks !

Hello students. Beware the locals who speak like this, despite being in the minority they do do a lot of shouting. They do the shouting no doubt due to the pain in their back and shoulders they get due to carrying such huge chips around with them.
:thumbsup::thumbsup:

Hook
25-08-2008, 07:49 PM
I'd love if in September/October all the students destined for Sheffield decided to go to Leeds or Manchester instead and then laugh at those who are always slagging the students off when they end up without a job and end up having to sign on, or even worse go and work in Leeds! :haha:

H da fella
25-08-2008, 08:14 PM
Have you noticed that the crime rate rises in accordance with the exodus back into sheffield city center by all these wad weilding students ???? just saying like !!! seems to me that theres a lot more trouble with rowdy drunken youths round about this time of the year too !!!! could the two be somehow connected ???:huh: :thumbsup:

swissheavy
25-08-2008, 08:20 PM
At the end of the day, they are a big income for the city whether you like it or not.

Rich
25-08-2008, 08:22 PM
At the end of the day, they are a big income for the city whether you like it or not.

Indeed, people who complain about students need to shut up IMHO.

Hook
25-08-2008, 08:32 PM
Have you noticed that the crime rate rises in accordance with the exodus back into sheffield city center by all these wad weilding students ???? just saying like !!! seems to me that theres a lot more trouble with rowdy drunken youths round about this time of the year too !!!! could the two be somehow connected ???:huh: :thumbsup:


Interesting isn't it that the students aren't back yet. They won't return until the last week of September. You're going to have to attribute your crime wave to another group of people that you'd so like to stereotype.

verydull
25-08-2008, 10:22 PM
I never left.

A lot more students are local now, encouraged by the grants from hallam for coming from a feeder college and the money involved....

dull

*carrie*
25-08-2008, 10:26 PM
Well, I am a 'new' Hallam-turned-Uni student, so I suppose thanks for the welcome.... I've been here 4 years mind, but the sentiment is fine.

catzeyesF
25-08-2008, 10:42 PM
Ah Yes welcome to Sheffield anouther group of teenagers who will ask in every pub & shop for student union discount , who will post on forum web sites stupid posts they now not a thing about, who will no doubt by the time they've managed to get a qualification will have had to sponge of their parents £ 1000's, will spend about 8 hrs a week in class & at least 38 hrs a week in some drinking hole , will will be the bain of most of the city center police at some point & will moan When they do manage to get a qualification that they are under paid for their skills . Yes Welcome to Sheffield folks !

You didnt go to uni then :rolleyes:

espadrille
18-09-2008, 10:04 PM
Welcome to new students. I have noticed that Crookes is getting busier by the day and lots more young people trundling along with their suitcases!

groovemaster
20-09-2008, 01:34 PM
Hi peeps, found this thread through the search engine.
How much does it cost for the uni buses from hunters bar to city campus?
Do you need to show them your NUS ect?
Thanks!