Following a news item today, I ask you all whether smacking should be banned?

I believe that it should. I am a parent who has smacked my children but can honestly say that each time I did it I felt ashamed of myself. I am not talking about beating but a slap on the legs. I always felt that I'd handled the situation badly and if it had been illegal I would have had to have solved it another way.

We must set a bad example to children when we exert a force over them which is based on violence. :cry:

I am divided on this. I can understand why people would want to see smacking banned, on the other hand - if you look at 'some' of the kids today they could do with a damned good hiding.

I have seen mothers at playgroups et al who have children that they attempt to reason with rather than a quick smack to the hand or rear - after said child has attempted to lift the scalp of little johhny by dragging them by the hair across the floor.

I have also seen children who have been brought up with this 'no smacking' succesfully.

I think parents just need a bit of trust in that they are able to do their job, and to take care of those who obviously cannot and take it waaaay beyond the mark.

As a parent myself I use smacking as a last resort, after reasoning, talking, shouting, and screaming at them (some days vallum would be most welcome). I think most parents are like this too.

Moon Maiden

Some woman on the radio this morning from the NSPCC said that these laws go back to the 1800's and that today we "live in a different society" ... well, the reason it's so different is because of behaviour - and because kids aren't given a slap from time to time (when it's needed) IMHO.

It's fair to protect children from obvious abuse and beatings, but in some cases we protect them too much. Look at schools - a teacher cannot attack a child, but many teachers face physical, mental and verbal abuse from children every day and can either like it or lump it.

I don't recall ever getting smacked, but I'm sure I got the odd slap - and I like to think I was (and still am) well behaved.

What annoys me is when you see parents in supermarkets (for example) and their child is crying (for whatever reason) and they threaten them with the "shut up or I'll knock you into next week" line! That isn't right.

The bottom line is that if the law is brought in, many people will face criminal charges or become social outlaws because they choose to smack their children. As long as the parents know where to draw the line, then I think it should be their choice.

Originally posted by Tony Ruscoe
As long as the parents know where to draw the line, then I think it should be their choice.

Isn't that the point that the NSPCC is trying to make: That some parents don't know when to draw the line? Remember last year when a father in Scotland was prosecuted because he put his daughter across his knee, IN PUBLIC, and spanked her? He thought it was perfectly natural even though it contravened everybody else's idea of where the line was.

If we all knew when to draw the line in all situations we wouldn't need any laws at all. If we drove carefully and with consideration for everyone else we wouldn't need maximum speeds, road markings, traffic lights, et al. It is because of people's inability to live by society's norms that we need legislation.

Additionally, adults have protection under the law from physical abuse why should we deny this right to children?

If one child escapes being abused by any banning of smacking then IMO we should ban it.

All good points maxt. The problem with the law is that these "lines" aren't clearly defined...

Can I throw something new into the equation?

My friend works for somewhere [rather not say where] that looks after autistic children (amongst others).

They are often faced with dilemas where they could be seen as neglecting or abusing a child at the same time!

For example, the child is smacking themselves in the face (some do this for whatever reason). If they let the child do it, it's neglect as they've neglected to help the child. If they stop the child doing it by holding their arms to keep their fists away from their face, that's abuse.

The link here is that there is no reasoning with children (and some adults). If some one cannot understand what is right and wrong when you talk to them, how can you teach them?

I know this is a bit of an extreme, but you said: "If one child escapes being abused by any banning of smacking then IMO we should ban it." Well, what happens if no child ever gets smacked again because it's banned and we grow up in a society where children have turned into criminals because they've not been taught the difference between right and wrong in a way they understand?

(I said it was an extreme... but it's the kids that will be "getting away with murder"!)

Isn't that the point that the NSPCC is trying to make: That some parents don't know when to draw the line?

So why punish and remove the authority of parents away from the good and decent ones??
Isn' this really treating adults like children?? I find it insulting to be honest.

I have and will always work to help children I feel are in need, but work needs to be done in areas such as social services so they can adequately assess REAL dangers.
The times they have missed quite obvious abuse in favour of an easier target, such as the daddy who spanked his child in public, or families accused of satan worship because they happen to be pagan (close to my heart those are)

There is the problem.

Moon Maiden

Originally posted by maxt


If one child escapes being abused by any banning of smacking then IMO we should ban it.

First problem: Unfortunately I don't for a minute think that this will stop even one child being ABUSED by a parent. Those that abuse aren't the kinds of people who give a hoot about legislation or the effect of what they're doing to their children.
What it may well do is make many people even more afraid to reasonably discipline their children.

What is needed is more education for parents about how to deal with bad behaviour in an appropriate way, not more legislation.

Second problem: I work with children on a very regular basis. I totally agree that it's not my place to smack any of them EVER, as I am not their parent or carer. However, I am sick to death of children who behave appallingly telling me with great glee that they can do what they want because no-one is allowed to so much as touch them. (Of course they soon find that that is not the case - there are plenty of other ways of dealing with misbehaving children and getting the kind of behaviour you can reward), but it's so wrong that so many children feel from a very early age that there will be no really effective punishment for their bad behaviour, and so many adults feel powerless to do anything at all. So again, I feel that education, not legislation, is the key. Don't just tell people that even light smacking is now illegal, so there, you evil parent, that's it, don't even try it. Share good practice, show people how to encourage good behaviour and discourage bad behaviour without smacking. Otherwise we honestly will end up with even more out-of-control children, guaranteed.

BTW: I was smacked a very few times by my parents, and man, I remember and agree that I deserved every single one of them. And it left me with a very clear message each time that not only had I been naughty, but that that particular behaviour was utterly out of line. And I never repeated any of those kinds of behaviours. So, smacking as a rare and therefore memorable punishment definitely worked for me.

I personally think it should be up to the parents. If I thought my child deserved a smack then I would smack them... no matter of the law! It's my decision.
This may cause an uproar but I think schools should have the cane as well. Just as police officers should be able to grab a little thug by the earole.
The way society is going now is IMHO just pathetic.

If you want to reason with your kids and not smack them ... fine... I'm all for it... but I wouldn't say you weren't allowed! It's not, and nor should it be anyone elses decision other than yours!

You cannot legislate on the question of children being disciplined, all children are different as all adults are. The decision as to smack if necessary should be left to the parents, because what one child needs is not what another one needs,

We were always corrected when we stepped out of line and it didn't do us any harm and my children were when it was deserved.

I wasn't smacked as a child because smacking was already illegal where I came from (Sweden).

I was, however, beaten at school in this country.

It made me, for quite a time, resolutely anti-authoritarian. So I wasn't an ideal student from then on really - showing little but contempt for my teachers (who could only resort to dumb violence, instead of explaining themselves). Eventually expelled from two schools for 'being a bad influence'.

I'm not saying the beatings "did it" but I must acknowledge that they played a part in making me the person I am today, and I don't necessarily think that their influence was at all positive.

We all use this word 'smacking'. What does it mean? Occasional slaps on the wrist? Sudden, unexpected smack accross the backs of the legs. Repeated spanking for every minor error and mistake?

I sometimes see parents smacking their wailing kids 2 maybe 3 times in a row, really hard, shouting at them the whole time. The parent has clearly lost it and the kid is frightened out of her wits. As a parent that makes me sick to my stomach.That's not discipline.

I agree with Halevan, however. All children are different, and a good parent will know if a smack is required, but it should be administered calmly, not in anger, and it should be explained why in terms the child can understand. Otherwise it is just an adult expressing violence (howver well intentioned) against a child.

Is it ok to smack Babies? What about 18 year olds?

Time to define what we mean here I feel, Smacking is such a broad term.

I understand the actual proposal is to remove the defence of reasonable chastisement from the charge of violence against a child. Anyone able to clarify?

....no decent adult wishes to smack their child...however the issue is how HARD you smack them......I have a brother who is 14 years younger than me and I only ever tapped him on the arm when he needed it.........my old man only had to give me a thunderous look and I pegged it or stopped what I was doing to annoy him.......children down't necessarily have to be smacked .....but if they are, its the severity of the smack that is the issue here.

Originally posted by DaBouncer
This may cause an uproar but I think schools should have the cane as well. Just as police officers should be able to grab a little thug by the earole.
The way society is going now is IMHO just pathetic.

Personal Question DaBouncer:

Have you ever been caned, properly? With a cane? One - or six of the best?

I suspect not, but I am standing by to be corrected.

Until you have been beaten with a stick yourself as punishment for some minor pointless rule infraction I will understand if your enthusiasm for the cane remains undimmed.

A smack IMO would be a slap round the legs (never the head or face). Not so much that it leaves a bruise of any kind, but something that leaves a sting and some redness of the skin for a short period of time (like an hour) to let the kid know they've done wrong.

This should be done with extreme infrequence. The more you smack, the less effective it becomes. It should be a last resort of punishment.

I still think that if I had has the cane at school, I would have been less distruptive. Detention was NEVER a deterent for me. I was never expelled or excluded from any school but it came close once or twice.

Originally posted by DaBouncer
I still think that if I had has the cane at school, I would have been less distruptive. Detention was NEVER a deterent for me. I was never expelled or excluded from any school but it came close once or twice.
Caning children is criminal. No two ways about it. Hitting someone hard with a stick is abusive violence, unless it is between consenting adults.

If I met the headmaster who caned me, in the street this afternoon, It would take all my restraint not to walk up behind him and clock him one, really very hard indeed. It still makes me very angry today that once, sadistic adults in positions of responsibility could inflict such pain and violence on 10 and 11 year old children.

I was smacked as a kid and it did me no harm, I also smacked my kids when they were younger (now 17 & 20) and it did them no harm either, I never mugged old ladies, got expelled or disrespected people and neither have my kids. I also know many of the older generations who would say the same. Smacking to discipline is not a bad thing lets not confuse it with abuse !

I could name a lot of 'adults' older than I that would very much disagree with you. And I'm refering to people who have had the cane at school.

I'm not doubting that it's the only way to discipline children but looking at the stndards of behaviour with children today and the children of yesteryear..... I'd say today's kids are FAR more unruly.

You just have to look at the programme about kids in gangs that was on TV a couple of weeks ago to see that.

I recently returned from Greece (holiday) and I didn't see one gand of local youths out there. Nor did I see any sort of trouble from the local youths I did see. Why? Because the law is VERY tough on crime and unruly behaviour and so are schools. This I found out from the Greeks I spoke to. You tell me.... with evidence like that, who's right?

Originally posted by Michael_W
I was smacked as a kid and it did me no harm, I also smacked my kids when they were younger (now 17 & 20) and it did them no harm either, I never mugged old ladies, got expelled or disrespected people and neither have my kids. I also know many of the older generations who would say the same. Smacking to discipline is not a bad thing lets not confuse it with abuse !
FULLY in agreement Michael!

Originally posted by DaBouncer
FULLY in agreement Michael!

Ok you two, tell me what is the difference between hitting a child and walking upto somebody in the street who may have displeased you and thumping them. How can one be morally acceptable and the other not (as well as the latter being an offence)?

Smack 'your own' child in a disciplinary way is down to the 'parent or legal guardian' of that child.
Hitting someone in the street is an offence and quite frankly non of anyone elses business.

You can't even put the two in the same category!

I think people need to realise the difference between a smack and abuse.

I was physically abused as a child, so much so that I spent over 2 weeks in hospital one time because of the injuries that were inflicted on me.

The "man" who did this to me would have carried on beating me wether there was a law against smacking or not.

Most parents are not going to start abusing their children.

I think a little tap to show a child they are going to hurt themselves ie. if they are about to touch a fire, plug socket etc... is ok aslong as it doesn't mark or hurt them too much.

Once children are old enough to know not to touch dangerous things etc.... then they shouldn't be smacked. Bad behaviour will only be made worse when met with violence.

There are far more effective ways of getting a child to behave.

With regards to the cane comment. I think that could lead to abuse by the teachers.
I know when I first started High School there were so older generation teachers who were no longer able to use the cane as punishment but had a damn good aim with a piece of chalk or a board rubber.

I also remember my nannan telling me the day she got 'the rule' across her hand and she hadn't done anything wrong.

I guess mistakes can be made on all things but discipline in some form needs to be brought back into homes, schools and soceity in general - this whole "well have a cup of tea and a biscuit and tell my why you punched the teachers lights out" mentality is pathetic and dangerous.

Moon Maiden

I was smacked as a child both in school and by guardians. I can say it never did me any harm and I believe it made me more aware of right from wrong. I'm not saying this works with everyone but it certainly worked with me as i knew what the consequences of my actions could be it made me think twice. Just because something is banned doesn't mean that people will stop doing it. As already mentioned somewhere in this thread - the type of people who abuse their child will probably continue to do so whatever laws are in place.

Originally posted by DaBouncer
Smack 'your own' child in a disciplinary way is down to the 'parent or legal guardian' of that child.
Hitting someone in the street is an offence and quite frankly non of anyone elses business.

You can't even put the two in the same category!

Dabouncer I don't agree. You are using violence against another human being just the same. You say that it's OK to hit a child when discipling them, so at what age would you stop hitting them? Would you still be slapping them at 8,10 or15 if they were doing something wrong?

As you can see here , most of us recieved some sort of physical punishment at some stage in our lives.

I know I used to get slapped legs because I was very wary of gran whenever she washed up - slapped legs with wet hands hurts learned that very quickly!! Also I was told, I don't remember it, I am not mentally disturbed from it and I am not out robbing banks or a social lout.

The ones that are out doing the dirty deeds are either one of two catagories - they were phsycially and or emotionaly abused as children or their parents didn't care enough about their children to correct them in ANY way - that is speaking or a smack or slap.

You CANNOT tarnish all parents with the same brush on this one.

This is a failure on the part of the child protection agencies to come up with a meeting point between ordinary non abusive parents and sick idiots who think that bouncing their child off the wall is a good thing to do.

We are not talking about beating the kids round the head to 'teach them a lesson'. This is a slap and smacked bottom for bad behaviour.

This do-gooder bull is going to lead us further and further to the dogs. I would have loved to see some pompus paper pusher tell my Grandad that smacking his children was classed as child abuse after the beatings he recieved from both his parents.

And to use to word 'hit' where someone has spoken about smacking is a really good misinterpreation of the issue. If I were to smack you in the street and then hit you I can guarantee you would know the difference.

Moon Maiden

Originally posted by Mo
Dabouncer I don't agree. You are using violence against another human being just the same. You say that it's OK to hit a child when discipling them, so at what age would you stop hitting them? Would you still be slapping them at 8,10 or15 if they were doing something wrong?
Yes I'm saying as a form of discipline it is ok to use minimal force in order to teach 'your own' or the child you are a legal guardian of right from wrong. No it isn't the same. Age limit depends on when the 'child' learned right from wrong in the case at hand. I would probably consider it ok until early in there senior school life (11-13).
I would probably use it from when they are aware of things that need to be taught right from wrong (4+).

If you cant distinguish between me phycally hitting someone in a nightclub for causing trouble and slapping a child for setting trying to set fire to the dog... then you are living on cloud cookoo.

I was slapped by my parents when younger to teach me right from wrong (minimal force used) and it worked. If only I had the same discipline at school I feel (even though I wasn't a trouble maker) I would have been less distruptive than I was.

I was only ever caned once and it hurt.
Kids should be deciplined from an early age.

As a parent I do smack, if the law said I couldn't I would break the law. I very seldom smack. I don't like doing it. It is the ultimate sanction when more measured approaches have failed. I use things like withdrawal of computer or TV priviledges, behavioural points added or subtracted with a reward for achievement of a target level, "the naughty chair" (child must sit quietly on the specified chair for 1 minute for every year of their age) but what do you do when the naughty chair instruction is broken? A slap on the legs with the flat of the hand. The fact that he knows that is a possibility increases the liklihood of cooperation with the naughty chair.

This is very different from hitting elsewhere on the body with a fist or hard object. As usual the government is going to pass a law that will needlessly turn caring loving parents whose aim is to teach their kids where the boundaries of acceptable behaviour lie into criminals while having no effect whatsoever on the real offenders who are injuring kids. The law currently sates that "reasonable chastisement" is permitted. The arguement being offered is that seriously abusive parents are using that as a defence in court.

Surely the solution is to define "reasonable chastisement" with some phrase like "a single slap with the flat of the hand on the leg or buttock of a child over the age of 18 months".

Meanwhile what are the kids doing - beating the crap out of each other in the playground, sometimes hitting parents and teachers - do we want to get the law involved there? It is the equitable thing to do - but they are under the age of criminal responsibility.

If the state wishes to remove the authority of the parent then the state must address the consequences of unruly teenagers kicked out of the family home and disrupting the education system. If legislation creates a vacuum, the vacuum will be filled with something worse than the mild chastisement of a smack.

Yes sure, we can find a parent with perfect kids who've never needed smacking - what does that prove? That the parents are perfect or that the kids are spineless little nonentities destined for a career in accountancy? Part of growing up is challenging the status quo, learning by mistakes. Most of us probably discovered that touching hot things was a mistake by painful experiment. My lad has learnt by painful experiment that being cheeky to his dad is a mistake, it earnt a slap. Just as he learnt not to touch the kettlle when it had just boiled, he's learnt to not be cheeky.

When he's learnt enough about the world he will be able to conceptualise and base actions on verbal warnings of risks and no longer need to rely on personal experience. When he reads a notice saying "Do not enter, 100,000 volts, danger of death" he will hopefully comply rather that test the veracity of the warning. Until then we should go through the processes of reasoning with the child and explaining the consequences of actions but understand that our guidance will sometimes be challenged and defied, they have to discover that what they are being told is true.

It's called learning.

If the anti-smack brigade would like to put themselves forward as adoptive parents for the unmanageble youths they are going to create that would be fine but they aren't are they? They are going to sit on the sidelines smugly pontificating about what they would do with that unruly child - just so long as no-one actually expects them to do it.

Yes I got the cane (and slipper) at school, yes I came away full of bravado and defiance but that was in order not to lose face in front of my peers. It hurt but it didn't injure. With hindsight I did know that letting off a banger in class was a bad move - but at the time I wasn't really thinking of consequences beyond the bang. I didn't repeat the experiment.
(And No, the experience hasn't led me to the doors of Miss Whiplash to re-live my schoolday spanking experiences in later life - possibly even the opposite!)

Originally posted by robh

Yes sure, we can find a parent with perfect kids who've never needed smacking - what does that prove? That the parents are perfect or that the kids are spineless little nonentities destined for a career in accountancy?
LMAO:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Originally posted by DaBouncer
LMAO:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Hope there aren't too many accountants reading, they might get me down a dark alley and rubber-stamp me.

A MORI report out today states that over 70% of those questioned thought that there should be a change in the law, making it illegal to smack children.

What do you think? Did you smack your children and were you smacked as a child?

Are you of the 'it never did me any harm' school of thought or perhaps you are against any form of physical punishments.

I was smacked as a child but have never smacked my son.
If he plays up, which he does every now and then, we discuss it and some other punishment is dished out - time out step, confiscation of Gameboy etc.

I can't stand to see people hitting their children and have been known to say something to the parents on occaision.

It never did me any harm but never made me think - oh that was a naughty thing I did - just made me hate my mother at the time of the smacking.

No I don't think smacking should be made illegal. I have seen some of the reprebates that have been brought up with no smacking - one has just forced a young lad out of school because the school cannot get mother to sort the hooligan out.

I am fully aware that there are children and parents out there who have managed to bring up perfectly good and decent children without the need for smacking - but we are not all perfect.

Personally I see no problem with smacking my childs hand away from a fire they have become mesmirsed with rather than wasting precious seconds 'talking them out of it' whilst they give themselves third degree burns.

The idea is ridiculous, yet more money will be wasted by social services who police decent and fair parents whilst leaving the real tortured children to their deaths. Same old story isn't it tho...police do it as well.

Moon

I don't think smacking should be made illegal but i only believe physical punishment should be used as a last resort.I hate it when i see parents losing control and beating their kids up 'cos they have no other way of dealing them.It isn't right but there is no way of regulating a law like that.Plus,some kids will use it as their defence.

Smacking is fine

Beating is obcene

There is a difference - a shame some parents don't understand that. "Kyle, Chantel, get back over here before I effin knock yer ead off"

Originally posted by Tony
Smacking is fine

Beating is obcene

There is a difference - a shame some parents don't understand that. "Kyle, Chantel, get back over here before I effin knock yer ead off"

I agree with Tony, seeing young women stood at bus stops with 2 kids, one of them is playing up, and the woman shouts "if you don't effing get back ere I'll effing do you!", consequently kid starts screaming, mother gets even more mad and utters more swear words at the kid...

It's shocking and a scene like that shouldn't happen in public, or at all quite frankly.

Involuntary sterilsation anyone? Or maybe just Carousel at 30 for the masses?

i got smacked when i was a young 'un - quite harshly and in my case it made me a very aggressive teen (that's my excuse anyhow)

however, my brother who's 15 years younger than me never got smacked - he's grown up a good lad and wouldn't harm a fly

I don't believe it should be made illegal, it's the ultimate form of punishment a parent has.

There are two things to take into account here. Firstly, if a good parent choses to smack their children they have that right. Secondly, if a bad parent chooses to slap their child for very little reason, it doesn't take the right of the good parent away.

I was smacked as child and to use the old cliché, it did me no harm. I've seen kids in supermarkets look at sweets and the Mum has just slapped them in the side of the head and pulled them away, which i doubt does any good.
There are two sides to the argument, and its not a case of violence vs. non-violence, its just good and bad parenting techniques.

Chris.

if a child does wrong what do u do say no naughty and let them do it again a smack never done me or my kids any harm if u where in a shop or if ur kid was breaking some think would u say no or a smack margy

I can remember the couple of times my mum did smack me.

The one that really stood out was when she belted me for trying to dismantle a live electric plug with a kitchen knife....

I think she was scared to death of me being fried.

Whoever said that a smacking i different from a beating had it right. I get horrified when I see some parents slap the kid across the face - back of the legs usually does the trick. If it bruises or leaves marks, too hard.

My father would never lay a hand on me. He was a big bloke and he was worried that he might harm me. My mum was quite small, but the threat of being smacked in my childhhod bought me to heel. I think it wasn't the smacking as much as the fact that I'd upset my mum.

Joe

Smacking should indeed be made illegal IMHO.

But it won't ever happen... Parents rights groups would bitch about the right to punish their kids when they step out of line or are being whiny little princes/princesses when they're out.

Originally posted by Mo

What do you think? Did you smack your children and were you smacked as a child?


I was slapped round the face at the age of about 13ish and I deserved it! I can promise you I never spoke to my mum in that way again!

Theres slapping and beating - two very different things!

I know a family where they all ( aged 13 - 56 ) hit eachother and they know no different?

It takes all sorts to make the world go round

I don't think a swift tap on the hand does much harm. I tend not to smack my two unless it's a situation of danger or they have done something really bad. Even then, it's only a tap on the hand or back of the leg. I prefer to reason with them, explain why it's wrong and penalise using grounding, no spending money or "go to your room".

My son has very challenging behaviour at times and if I hit him every time he was "naughty" he'd be black and blue! Reward charts work well with a small treat for good behaviour or acheivements.

Peoples opinions of what's naughty and what's not vary so much. A lot of the time it's parents impatience (and I know cos I am one!!) or kids boredom that causes the problems.

I'm not claiming to be super mum or anything but constant smacks (especially round the head, which I HATE) don't do anyone any good.

A simple answer would be an involuntary round of ethnic cleansing. We should remove the stupid and ignorant from society.

I suggest a culll of all those people who have appeared or have watched Trisha. I would do the same with serial watchers of East Enders, Corry and Emerdale Farm

Problem solved.

A quip slap on the backside never did me any harm..beating and cruelty a definate nono, it has allready been mentioned on this thread look at the state of the teenagers now, as my dad says what they need is a good hideing

Does anyone have the right to assault someone else simply because they occupy a position of authority?

Is smacking a rational attempt at discipline or, more often than not, someone losing their temper and taking it out on a child?

Having thrown in a couple of devil's advocate comments, my personal opinion is that children should be made illegal - then we wouldn't have to bother with this discussion. If I had to spend my life with a revolting little snotty nosed brat foetus, i'm sure it wouldn't be long before I lost it (my temper and possibly the child).

My father was the old school knots in the jug cord, thin leather belt, heel of the shoe kind of smacker which I joke about now, but i think i wasn't too pleased with at the time - funny how you view every household object in relation to its potential to inflict pain :-)

Seriously though, how can you predict the long term effect it's actually going to have on a child. Wouldn't it be safer to learn other methods of discipline that are equally as effective, yet don't carry with them the risk of injury?

Originally posted by beckb
I was smacked as a child but have never smacked my son.
If he plays up, which he does every now and then, we discuss it and some other punishment is dished out - time out step, confiscation of Gameboy etc.

I can't stand to see people hitting their children and have been known to say something to the parents on occaision.

It never did me any harm but never made me think - oh that was a naughty thing I did - just made me hate my mother at the time of the smacking.


I can hardly talk from experience - as I'm not a parent(!) However, I can agree with you, talking with your son/daughter normally gives better results; jumping the gun and hitting your son/daughter, normally makes them think you (stick in explitive [sp] here) and resent their mother/father.

On the other hand, a *prissy* "no" doesen't always fit the bill though.

I don't really know which *side* I'm on... If asked on-the-spur-of-the-moment, I'd say no. Ban it.



I have been waiting 15 whole minuites for my Mail. "The new and imporved Yahoo Mail" you must be joking! THere servers keep falling over, and it's an important message I think - aha.. finally I'm in.... "Thank you for sending Nick a card". I waited 15 minuites for that!!!!!11
:o :mad: :D

:thumbsup:

I tend to think theres a big difference between a quick smack and assault. But saying that, I hate to see pram faces dragging their offspring around town who seem to 'lose it' at the slightest provokation.
I wasn't smacked very often as a young un but I didn't need to be. My Dad's raised voice was nearly always enough. He established who was boss and I knew where the line was. No violence needed or given, just love. I've never smacked my kids and I've never had too either. Children now seem to be taught their rights and what they CAN do before they're taught respect and what they CAN'T or SHOULDN'T do.
I'm not convinced the cane or slipper was always administered correctly at school, often a whole class full of lads would get it on the off chance of getting the culprit, and thus lost it's threat. I had it a couple of times and just thought it was an injustice seeing as how I'd done nowt. Saying that, I don't think the teacher(s) were criminals - just trying to restore order the best way they could.
This is just my opinion obviously.

Children now seem to be taught their rights and what they CAN do before they're taught respect and what they CAN'T or SHOULDN'T do.

Absolutely spot on!!

Its about time parents taught their children to have more respect, and then maybe physical discipline, whilst not being completely unnecessary at times, would decline.

I was smacked as a child, my wife was smacked as a child, and we smacked our daughter as a child, and its not done us any harm. However, we were also taught to respect other people and their property - something which seems to have been long forgotten these days.

So in summary, no, smacking (ie a quick tap on the hand, legs or bum) should not be banned - it is the ultimate punishment right that a parent has - but beating should be viewed as just what it is - an assault on the child.

But better than that, better parenting would make for a better society overall.

I'll finish off what I said crack of dawn this morning...!

Yes, I was smacked when I was young and I just thought what a tosser about my mum; as I got older - 8/9 etc we discussed it, on the other my dad did absoloutely nothing really; just mumbled words such as "wan**r" very prooductive! :rolleyes:

Yes, as I got older we just discussed it. Then when you're about 10/11 you grow out of being a *daft moron* as it were.


However, yes there should be a line between "smacking" and "hitting" your son/daughter. The boundary still sways as it were.

apparently they are to decide weather the tinyest of smacks is to become illeagal.........i personally think a good hideing like what most of us got would do some of ther scum that hang around our estates the world of good........getting rid of the cane in schools was the biggest mistake ever.......one of my customers (an ex-teacher) told me recently he could never be a teacher today.....his words were "i'd end up doing 6 month"......the namby pamby do-gooding society we now live in does my nut in.:rant: :rant: :rant: :rant: :rant:

i agree wi you kirky never did us any harm cane an slipper at school did no harm to us if anythin it tought us respect now they run wild doing just wat they like a smack on the danny and let off scott free in my day if you miss-behaved it was a good hiding of me dad and a good hiding off the local plod best regards steve>>>

Several similar threads merged.

I quick smack never hurt me or any of my brothers/sisters. Obviously beating a kid is not on, but a quick clip round the ear can work wonders.
I have seen parents trying the "listen to mummy Tarquin, mummy wants you to be quiet" routine and seen it not working terribly well.
I was also so scared to death of my dad (for no real reason except he was my dad and could shout so loud the words hit you with physical force) that I daren't step out of line.

i was working on a house a couple of years ago(snobby area)....2 young kids were playing in the garden about 3-4 years old the little lad whacked the little lass across across the face with a garden cane........fookinhell i thought you little ****........little lass was screaming her head off.......mother comes running out..she finally gets out of the lass what had happend......she says something like "jeremy come here"...lad walks over very slowly.....mother says now give your sister a big hug..........i nearly fell off mi bleedin ladder..the little sod should have got a pasting in my book.

i dont think kids understand if they are just getting hit for everything they do wrong , i dont disagree with it i have gave the odd tap to my kids(running on road and stuff where i admit i felt guily but i guess it was just a reaction )I just think people need to know where to stop .. I only need to shout and my kids are heart broken ....(and the puppy dog eyes melt you heart )
I also belive that a man does not know his own strengh when smacking kids (sorry men just my views)
anyway to make a long story short i would not be in bits if it was banded maybe will be batter fo r the children where the parents go to far

Originally posted by kirky
i was working on a house a couple of years ago(snobby area)....2 young kids were playing in the garden about 3-4 years old the little lad whacked the little lass across across the face with a garden cane........fookinhell i thought you little ****........little lass was screaming her head off.......mother comes running out..she finally gets out of the lass what had happend......she says something like "jeremy come here"...lad walks over very slowly.....mother says now give your sister a big hug..........i nearly fell off mi bleedin ladder..the little sod should have got a pasting in my book.


What else have you seen while up your ladder ?
Confess.

talking of kids hitting they have a really good rule at my sons nursery if a child hits another child they are to sit on the chair and stay there till the child that was hit trusts him/her again and it works a treat ...
I dont belive you can tell you kid off for hitting with a smack
what are they learning in that