Right, in the mood for a rant!

Good friends of ours have become spongers, in my oponion this is. It just irritates me. They left uni, and moved to her mum's house, where they were meant to be staying for 3.5months, fair enough. 3 and a half years later, she finds out that he has been spending all their 'savings' on cocaine. This is devastating news to everyone. He is kicked out. Moves in with brother to 'save' again. They have a joint income of over 50k, while ours is almost half that, yet we still have our own place, pay rent and are buying our first house soon. She is 26 and he is 30. She can't (won't) cook/drive/do finances, so is pretty dependent on everyone.

Am I being unreasonable? I just think that one day, when I have kids, at this age and staying at home for no good reason, I'd change the locks! And it's annoying - they assume we're as flush with cash as they are and have loads of time. We run a house! It takes lots of time and money! It's driving me CRAZY!!

too darned right it'd annoy me - in fact, i know it does, as my brother is the equivalent of your sponging friends. rather than live at home he lives in a rather nice flat that my grandparents own in the posh bit of bournemouth - rent free, naturally. i'd be ashamed to be living off the good will of relatives at the age of 29, but he doesn't seem bothered - my grandmother has even been doing his washing until recently, despite being in her late 80s and having arthritis and a dodgy hip. the financial stuff isn't a matter of public discourse, but he lives well while my parents are paying off his debts. yet i manage to live within my means whilst renovating a house and caring for a young baby.


grrrrr.

hopefully his current girlfriend will sort him out - she seems much more normal than any he's had in the past.

Right, in the mood for a rant!

Good friends of ours have become spongers, in my oponion this is. It just irritates me. They left uni, and moved to her mum's house, where they were meant to be staying for 3.5months, fair enough. 3 and a half years later, she finds out that he has been spending all their 'savings' on cocaine. This is devastating news to everyone. He is kicked out. Moves in with brother to 'save' again. They have a joint income of over 50k, while ours is almost half that, yet we still have our own place, pay rent and are buying our first house soon. She is 26 and he is 30. She can't (won't) cook/drive/do finances, so is pretty dependent on everyone.

Am I being unreasonable? I just think that one day, when I have kids, at this age and staying at home for no good reason, I'd change the locks! And it's annoying - they assume we're as flush with cash as they are and have loads of time. We run a house! It takes lots of time and money! It's driving me CRAZY!!

Get rid, as soon as possible. Drain on resources and unproductive.

I would be saying to them...

"don't let the door hit your backside on the way through it!!!"

Right, in the mood for a rant!

Good friends of ours have become spongers, in my oponion this is. It just irritates me. They left uni, and moved to her mum's house, where they were meant to be staying for 3.5months, fair enough. 3 and a half years later, she finds out that he has been spending all their 'savings' on cocaine. This is devastating news to everyone. He is kicked out. Moves in with brother to 'save' again. They have a joint income of over 50k, while ours is almost half that, yet we still have our own place, pay rent and are buying our first house soon. She is 26 and he is 30. She can't (won't) cook/drive/do finances, so is pretty dependent on everyone.

Am I being unreasonable? I just think that one day, when I have kids, at this age and staying at home for no good reason, I'd change the locks! And it's annoying - they assume we're as flush with cash as they are and have loads of time. We run a house! It takes lots of time and money! It's driving me CRAZY!!

I do know how you feel as ive been in a similar situation.However,if im honest,part of it is jealousy......'i work hard and im skint,whist theyve got loads of dosh and squander it?' Once i realised this,i stopped caring and got rid.Maybe you should do the same? Do you think you may be a tad jealous as well,particularly of the woman?
Thats how it comes across to me. :)

Look at it from another perspective.

You're together in all sorts of ways - money, relationship, jobs. From what I can tell from the post, these folks aren't directly sponging on you, and you wouldn't be daft enough to help them fund their lifestyle.

They're also friends, not blood relatives - you have no duty of care to these people, and whilst you allow yourself to be angered by them you're letting them have way too much influence on your life. Let 'em kill themselves with the drugs - and move them out of your life until they're flying straight and level.

Come on show some compassion for those less fortunate than you.

Come on show some compassion for those less fortunate than you.

and this from the man who berated me for claiming benefits...

lovely...

Believe in Karma.....in 10 years time they will be ravaged with wrinkles and ill health from drugs and a bad diet !

:)

Move on and make new friends they don't even sound like fun company!!

I know the location of some interesting mushrooms you could feed them :hihi:

:shocked: which sort? :suspect:

:shocked: which sort? :suspect:

the sort that could get rid of annoying friends:hihi:

and this from the man who berated me for claiming benefits...

lovely...

I think you missed the point of his dig PT :)

and this from the man who berated me for claiming benefits...

lovely...


It was a JOKE P T.:thumbsup: sorry you didnt get it.;)

I do know how you feel as ive been in a similar situation.However,if im honest,part of it is jealousy......'i work hard and im skint,whist theyve got loads of dosh and squander it?' Once i realised this,i stopped caring and got rid.Maybe you should do the same? Do you think you may be a tad jealous as well,particularly of the woman?
Thats how it comes across to me. :)

Oh god Gnomi - jealous! I'd hate to be that dependant! But, on jealousy, I guess it'd be nice to not have responsibilities or worries, and some decent money to play with for once! But I could just never do what they do, it's not worth it.

Are you complaining that they've not bought a house and you have?

It sounds like either you want to force your lifestyle choices onto them, or you are jealous that they have lots of cash.

I have friends who still live at home and so have much lower expenses than I do. It doesn't bother me, that's their choice. It also means that in 10 years I'll own a house and they won't.