OK I know there are all sorts of answers to that question, but I am interested, I've never experienced a divorcing couple first hand. If everyone starts out happy and in love why don't more people stay that way? Is it just real life gets in the way, or is it how hard you can work at it? Can you really just fall out of love with someone if you loved them that much in the first place to marry them?

:confused:

Usually because theyre married to creeps like me.:D

People mess things up, they can destroy each other's trust, grow apart, cheat on one another. All sorts of things can upset the balance of a relationship. Divorce is a better option than living in misery.

Lots of marriages end in divorce for various reasons!!!!

Loss of love
adultry
violence
money problems
and probably many more.These things happen for a reason,and yes you can just stop loving someone after many many years.

OK I know there are all sorts of answers to that question, but I am interested, I've never experienced a divorcing couple first hand. If everyone starts out happy and in love why don't more people stay that way? Is it just real life gets in the way, or is it how hard you can work at it? Can you really just fall out of love with someone if you loved them that much in the first place to marry them?

:confused:
when youve been with somebody for a long time you start getting bored, take each other for granted, lose interest, start arguing, lose the things you had in common
ive been with my missus for 18 years and we are experiencing all the above tbh
all we seem to have in common now is 2 kids and we live in the same house, occasionly we have sex..thats about it

Is there any hope then? Can you actively avoid that stuff or do we just have a loveless future to look forward to :(

sometimes you just drift apart, and no matter how hard you try to hold on for whatever reason, all you end up doing is making each other miserable, best to cut your losses and start over.

sometimes you just drift apart, and no matter how hard you try to hold on for whatever reason, all you end up doing is making each other miserable, best to cut your losses and start over.

Hello you *hug*

Just thought didn't actually want to upset anyone with this thread :(

We drifted apart a little, he was working loads of hours and I sat at home feeling miserable with 2 small kids.

However I started college and now I feel I have something to talk about with him again, he's really made an effort and it has paid off, he's fallen madly for me again. I'm happier now, we still argue but sometimes you can work through a rough patch if there is enough still there. We've been together 8 years now.

Hello you *hug*

Just thought didn't actually want to upset anyone with this thread :(

nah its cool and the gang kathy petal, I'm moving on and the only thing thats upset me is I havent heard from you in ages :)

Lots of marriages end in divorce for various reasons!!!!

Loss of love
adultry
violence
money problems
and probably many more.These things happen for a reason,and yes you can just stop loving someone after many many years.
Mine is the offer half reverting back to a child, if you know what i mean.
So instead of bring my own child up i was also cleaning up after a baby and my husband. i stood it for 5 years.

Mine is the offer half reverting back to a child, if you know what i mean.
So instead of bring my own child up i was also cleaning up after a baby and my husband. i stood it for 5 years.

Dont they all revert back to their childhood:hihi:

Our survery said:

Extra marital affair 27% (29%)
Family strains 18% (11%)
Emotional/Physical abuse 17% (10%)
Mid-life crisis 13% (option previously unavailable)
Addictions (gambling, alcohol, drugs, etc.) 6% (5%)
Work-holism 6% (5%)
Business problems 4% (5%)
Other (including communication problems, growing apart) 4% (1%)
Decision linked to a personal choice (eg. only one partner wanting children) 2% (4%)
Problems of a sexual nature, loss in income All less than 1%


see here (http://www.grant-thornton.co.uk/pages/press_room-press_releases-extra-marital_affairs_remain_biggest_cause_for_divorce_a s_major_increases_in_family_strains_and_emotional_ physical_abuse_also_cause_more_splits_new_survey_. html)

maybe the real question should be 'Why do people get married?'
I know that its impossible to predict but it'll be interesting to see how many married couples now(aged between 20-30) are still together in 30 years?
We're a 'throw away' generation,which sadly seems to be reflected in the growing number of divorces.
Maybe the traditional wedding vows should be changed to 'I promise to stay with you until i get bored or until someone better comes along...'
:( :hihi:

One answer is that people change.

Or that a relationship proves to be not strong enough to stand the pressures that life throws in your path.

because people want too much, they think the grass is greener etc etc..........
The thought of a new unpredictable relationship with a new partner excites them, however what they don't realise is that a couple of years down the line they will be doing exactly the same mundane everyday activities with some one new!!!

With you 100% littleboo.

Been married 42 years now. We made a vow. That's it. Not easy, but we are here and still together.

I love the lass I met when she was 15. She has stayed the same throughout the years we have had together. I look at her now, much older of course, as I am too. She is the same girl when I look at her as when I first met her. My affection for this girl has never been shaken. She has grown to be a true lady.

What is so difficult? A promise of fidelity is sacrosanct on both sides, provided that both parties stick to the bargain unconditionally. It is not possible for some people to achieve this.......character shortcomings, unfortunate relationship histories etc come in to play.

Look into yourself. Look into the history of your prospective partner.

Choose wisely. Let your head rule your heart. It can work.

What a wonderfully lucky man I am. I love her to bits, and don't always show it. She knows it in her heart though.

when youve been with somebody for a long time you start getting bored, take each other for granted, lose interest, start arguing, lose the things you had in common
ive been with my missus for 18 years and we are experiencing all the above tbh
all we seem to have in common now is 2 kids and we live in the same house, occasionly we have sex..thats about it

and share the relish bottle of course:hihi:

Dont they all revert back to their childhood:hihi:


no!! goo gaa gaa

many people these days don't spend long enough getting to know each other. The thought of a dream wedding and someone by their side carries them away and they marry after 3 or 6 months or something. Then slowly they learn that they weren't quite so suitable after all!

Well not everyone gets a divorce. We've all seen examples like Shoey, doddery old folk holding hands at the seaside on a cold Tuesday morning:hihi:

The real question should be why don't more people get divorced? I'm sure there are millions in loveless marriages that just make do or "do it for the children"

Its horrible and sad but people change and so their relationships will as well :confused:

Well not everyone gets a divorce. We've all seen examples like Shoey, doddery old folk holding hands at the seaside on a cold Tuesday morning:hihi:

The real question should be why don't more people get divorced? I'm sure there are millions in loveless marriages that just make do or "do it for the children"

Its horrible and sad but people change and so their relationships will as well :confused:

Do you mind, taxman...we only go to Skegvegas on Mondays, and I wear my longjohns all year round!...that reminds me, I'll get her to put' em in the wash for next week. :hihi: :hihi:

The real question should be why don't more people get divorced? I'm sure there are millions in loveless marriages that just make do or "do it for the children"



The nation is drowning in sham marriages.........why so? Percieved social status, money, fear or just a total lack of self worth.

...The real question should be why don't more people get divorced? I'm sure there are millions in loveless marriages that just make do or "do it for the children"...
This is one of my pet topics. Doing it for the children? Doing what exactly? Subjecting the poor little buggers to years of misery while they're growing up because their parents can't stand to be in the same room as each other and can't exchange a civil word? What utter nonsense. If a relationship has truly disintegrated, then the best thing for the children is to get the hell out before they're forced to soak up any more poisonous atmosphere.

Well not everyone gets a divorce. We've all seen examples like Shoey, doddery old folk holding hands at the seaside on a cold Tuesday morning :hihi: ...
And that is lovely. It would be fantastic If everyone could end up as happy as some of the older couples you see, still together and still holding hands after forty or more years.

Taxman, you're living up to your name. You have no soul.

And that is lovely. It would be fantastic If everyone could end up as happy as some of the older couples you see, still together and still holding hands after forty or more years.

Taxman, you're living up to your name. You have no soul.

That's because you stole it:love:

There's a direct correlation between marrying early (young) and divorcing soon afterwards if I remember correctly.

So, there's an argument that we (society) rush into marriage too lightly without really having time to grow up and to get to know our partner.

In the past there was a much stronger stigma attached to divorcee's, so the modern rise in divorce is just in response to it becoming more acceptable, not an increase in the number of couples who'd wish to be divorced.

And my own bit of wisdom, you have to work at a relationship like anything else worth having. Some people don't seem to realise that and just don't have the capability to actually put any effort into working for anything.

So, there's an argument that we (society) rush into marriage too lightly without really having time to grow up and to get to know our partner.



I would strongly recommend you wind that statement back a little then say..............' there's an argument that we rush into marriage too lightly without really having had time to grow up and to get to know ourselves'

We've all seen examples like Shoey, doddery old folk holding hands at the seaside on a cold Tuesday morning:hihi:


My wife read that taxman........she says "Come Monday morning........better make it Tueday (It's Skegvegas for us on Monday) you're DEAD".

We don't hold hands unless there's a strong wind blowing. :hihi: All that lovey dovey crap is for teenagers and those ready for packaging in an urn.

She says "We are not ready for that yet thanks! And now you're doubly dead, you cheeky monkey!":hihi: :hihi: :hihi: