Okay.. time for me to have a whine and a moan about my ex.

Now I'm a lone parent. I did have a husband but his long term plans differed from mine.Which is fine..

I have two lovely sons and we have a fun filled life. Father started off by having the children from Friday teatime to Sunday evening.

Lots of Daddy time. Subsequently he has new partner and new family... you get the picture. Still not a problem.

Then it transpires that his mother has them Fridays and he spent saturday mornings with them and turned up for lunch on a Sunday.

.... still not a problem.

NOW .. I have been asked that as I don't work on a Sunday do I mind if he drops them off on Saturday afternoon and pick them up for lunch on Sunday as he goes out every saturday night.

Kids seem fine with it, DS#1 said "its not like we see him much at the weekend anyway" but I feel like both him and the kids are missing out here.

Paranoid parent or just picky? (or is it that I can't go out on a Saturday night anymore )

:) Hey thats ok so long as he takes it inturns so you get to go out on a saturday nite:heyhey:

Now I'm a lone parent. I did have a husband but his long term plans differed from mine.Which is fine..

 

I have two lovely sons and we have a fun filled life. Father started off by having the children from Friday teatime to Sunday evening.

 

Lots of Daddy time. Subsequently he has new partner and new family... you get the picture. Still not a problem.

 

Then it transpires that his mother has them Fridays and he spent saturday mornings with them and turned up for lunch on a Sunday.

 

.... still not a problem.

 

NOW .. I have been asked that as I don't work on a Sunday do I mind if he drops them off on Saturday afternoon and pick them up for lunch on Sunday as he goes out every saturday night.

 

Kids seem fine with it, DS#1 said "its not like we see him much at the weekend anyway" but I feel like both him and the kids are missing out here.

 

Paranoid parent or just picky? (or is it that I can't go out on a Saturday night anymore )

:) Hey thats ok so long as he takes it inturns so you get to go out on a saturday nite:heyhey:

No such luck, this is EVERY saturday

He really isn't carrying through with his end of the bargain, is he? Not just for your benefit either- the children need their dad.

Thats my worry Med, the oldest one says he's not bothered which isn't very promising on the father and son front is it?

It's the old, [him] 'I have RIGHTS to see my kids!' that somehow changes to [you] 'OI! You have RESPONSIBILITIES to your kids too!'.

It's more than fair that you two have the kids for every other Sat night. Fair to you (you have them for the rest of the time, ahem), fair to him (it's good to spend time with your children) and fair to the children (whaay, it's dad's tonight so we get to watch dvds and stay up late)!

It has to be sorted out - he (probably) has no idea that it's 'not fair'!

thats not fair at all this sound like ' I love my kids when it suits me'

SHsheff, you are living in the real world, you know thats not the way he would ever think.

Only consolation is he has already told the kids of the new arrangement and they seem thrilled to bits (If the boot were on the other foot I'd be gutted)

thats not fair at all this sound like ' I love my kids when it suits me'

Ah, I didn't mean that it would sound fair to an outsider. I was seeing it from his point of view!

SHsheff, you are living in the real world, you know thats not the way he would ever think.

 

Only consolation is he has already told the kids of the new arrangement and they seem thrilled to bits (If the boot were on the other foot I'd be gutted)

And, hurrah for that (re the kids being pleased). However, you, fox, need (imo) to apply a little grown-up pressure on him. As I said, the flip side of 'rights' is 'responsibilities'. He has a responsibility (imo) to have them at least once a fortnight on a Saturday night. If need be, fox, you might have to play the weeping 'I can't cope! You'll have to have them full time!' card......that will probably sober him up.

And, hurrah for that (re the kids being pleased). However, you, fox, need (imo) to apply a little grown-up pressure on him. As I said, the flip side of 'rights' is 'responsibilities'. He has a responsibility (imo) to have them at least once a fortnight on a Saturday night. If need be, fox, you might have to play the weeping 'I can't cope! You'll have to have them full time!' card......that will probably sober him up.

You are having a laugh arn't you. He picked the kids up one weekend and the little one had done what boys do and took the toe end out of his shoe. Darling daddy sent him home in same shoes, when I asked why he hadnt replaced them with 'something' I was advised that is what maintainance is for as is everything else they will ever need... god help em in the last 5 yrs he hasnt even taken them to the seaside but managed a foreign holiday each year for himself and his new life..

Don't get me wrong Im not bitter but I am for the kids.

Sorry... that was a real rant.. Im not usually that cross