Now I'm a lone parent. I did have a husband but his long term plans differed from mine.Which is fine..:rolleyes:

I have two lovely sons and we have a fun filled life. Father started off by having the children from Friday teatime to Sunday evening.

Lots of Daddy time. Subsequently he has new partner and new family... you get the picture. Still not a problem.

Then it transpires that his mother has them Fridays and he spent saturday mornings with them and turned up for lunch on a Sunday.

.... still not a problem.

NOW .. I have been asked that as I don't work on a Sunday do I mind if he drops them off on Saturday afternoon and pick them up for lunch on Sunday as he goes out every saturday night.

Kids seem fine with it, DS#1 said "its not like we see him much at the weekend anyway" but I feel like both him and the kids are missing out here.

Paranoid parent or just picky? (or is it that I can't go out on a Saturday night anymore :heyhey: )

:) :) Hey thats ok so long as he takes it inturns so you get to go out on a saturday nite:heyhey: :heyhey: Now I'm a lone parent. I did have a husband but his long term plans differed from mine.Which is fine..:rolleyes:

I have two lovely sons and we have a fun filled life. Father started off by having the children from Friday teatime to Sunday evening.

Lots of Daddy time. Subsequently he has new partner and new family... you get the picture. Still not a problem.

Then it transpires that his mother has them Fridays and he spent saturday mornings with them and turned up for lunch on a Sunday.

.... still not a problem.

NOW .. I have been asked that as I don't work on a Sunday do I mind if he drops them off on Saturday afternoon and pick them up for lunch on Sunday as he goes out every saturday night.

Kids seem fine with it, DS#1 said "its not like we see him much at the weekend anyway" but I feel like both him and the kids are missing out here.

Paranoid parent or just picky? (or is it that I can't go out on a Saturday night anymore :heyhey: )

:) :) Hey thats ok so long as he takes it inturns so you get to go out on a saturday nite:heyhey: :heyhey:

No such luck, this is EVERY saturday :mad:

He really isn't carrying through with his end of the bargain, is he? Not just for your benefit either- the children need their dad.

Thats my worry Med, the oldest one says he's not bothered :( which isn't very promising on the father and son front is it?

It's the old, [him] 'I have RIGHTS to see my kids!' that somehow changes to [you] 'OI! You have RESPONSIBILITIES to your kids too!'.

It's more than fair that you two have the kids for every other Sat night. Fair to you (you have them for the rest of the time, ahem), fair to him (it's good to spend time with your children) and fair to the children (whaay, it's dad's tonight so we get to watch dvds and stay up late)!

It has to be sorted out - he (probably) has no idea that it's 'not fair'!

:)

thats not fair at all this sound like ' I love my kids when it suits me'

SHsheff, you are living in the real world, you know thats not the way he would ever think. :rolleyes:

Only consolation is he has already told the kids of the new arrangement and they seem thrilled to bits (If the boot were on the other foot I'd be gutted)

thats not fair at all this sound like ' I love my kids when it suits me'

Ah, I didn't mean that it would sound fair to an outsider. I was seeing it from his point of view!

SHsheff, you are living in the real world, you know thats not the way he would ever think. :rolleyes:

Only consolation is he has already told the kids of the new arrangement and they seem thrilled to bits (If the boot were on the other foot I'd be gutted)

And, hurrah for that (re the kids being pleased). However, you, fox, need (imo) to apply a little grown-up pressure on him. As I said, the flip side of 'rights' is 'responsibilities'. He has a responsibility (imo) to have them at least once a fortnight on a Saturday night. If need be, fox, you might have to play the weeping 'I can't cope! You'll have to have them full time!' card......that will probably sober him up. :)

And, hurrah for that (re the kids being pleased). However, you, fox, need (imo) to apply a little grown-up pressure on him. As I said, the flip side of 'rights' is 'responsibilities'. He has a responsibility (imo) to have them at least once a fortnight on a Saturday night. If need be, fox, you might have to play the weeping 'I can't cope! You'll have to have them full time!' card......that will probably sober him up. :)

You are having a laugh arn't you. He picked the kids up one weekend and the little one had done what boys do :rolleyes: and took the toe end out of his shoe. Darling daddy sent him home in same shoes, when I asked why he hadnt replaced them with 'something' I was advised that is what maintainance is for as is everything else they will ever need... god help em in the last 5 yrs he hasnt even taken them to the seaside but managed a foreign holiday each year for himself and his new life.. :rant:

Don't get me wrong Im not bitter but I am for the kids.

Sorry... that was a real rant.. Im not usually that cross :blush:

You're allowed to get frustrated with him fox- especially if you're bearing the parental burden without support from him.

You made the children together and they're a life long responsibility- you can't just opt out because it's easier. Too many people think that you can.

Sorry... that was a real rant.. Im not usually that cross :blush:

We're in PMland now. :)

I'm chilled.. cheers SH :)

you can't just opt out because it's easier. Too many people think that you can.

Oh but Medusa, (not having a go at dads in general) you know alot of them do.:(

perhaps a response such as
"thats fine the kids would prefer it anyway 'cos u don't spend much time with them anyway,and they are the ones that need to be considered."


(i really hate dads that think maintenance is the be all & end all of parental support.don't they ever want to "treat" them just because they are their children and not because they have too)

It seems to me that you could all do with a re-think about his contact time.

He's trying to be a step-dad which is tough enough and is finding that his current committment to both families is too much and he hasn't got any time for himself to unwind. Two into one won't go and it's your boys who are getting squeezed out which is doubly bad as boys especially need a good male role model.

The current proposal is truly awful with your children getting shunted from house to house all weekend so my advice would be to change the arrangements so that he no longer sees them every week but makes up for it by actually spending time with them when he does see them and maybe has them for an extended period of time during the school holidays.

Good luck.

It seems to me that you could all do with a re-think about his contact time.

He's trying to be a step-dad which is tough enough No he's the daddy, not stepdaddy :rolleyes:


The current proposal is truly awful with your children getting shunted from house to house all weekend so my advice would be to change the arrangements so that he no longer sees them every week but makes up for it by actually spending time with them when he does see them and maybe has them for an extended period of time during the school holidays.Good luck.

Ta Tricky, I have tried that, I asked him last January if he could schedule some of his annual holiday to coincide with the childrens school holidays. As far as he is concerned his contact is merely for weekends and doesnt wish to deviate from the arrangement. Apart from the latest announcement that is :rolleyes:

No he's the daddy, not stepdaddy :rolleyes:

Sorry, I misunderstood.


Ta Tricky, I have tried that, I asked him last January if he could schedule some of his annual holiday to coincide with the childrens school holidays. As far as he is concerned his contact is merely for weekends and doesnt wish to deviate from the arrangement. Apart from the latest announcement that is :rolleyes:

What are his thoughts about seeing them less often? e.g alternate weekends perhaps.

Now I'm a lone parent. I did have a husband but his long term plans differed from mine.Which is fine..:rolleyes:

I have two lovely sons and we have a fun filled life. Father started off by having the children from Friday teatime to Sunday evening.

Lots of Daddy time. Subsequently he has new partner and new family... you get the picture. Still not a problem.

Then it transpires that his mother has them Fridays and he spent saturday mornings with them and turned up for lunch on a Sunday.

.... still not a problem.

NOW .. I have been asked that as I don't work on a Sunday do I mind if he drops them off on Saturday afternoon and pick them up for lunch on Sunday as he goes out every saturday night.

Kids seem fine with it, DS#1 said "its not like we see him much at the weekend anyway" but I feel like both him and the kids are missing out here.

Paranoid parent or just picky? (or is it that I can't go out on a Saturday night anymore :heyhey: )

hello Fox :wave:
my heart goes out to you 100% because i know exactly how you feel ..... your above thread is almost exact to my situation with my ex ..... he's always promising my son things and they never happen and more often than not dumping him on one of his relatives when hes suppose to be taking care of him ...... nightmare !!!

clare :wave: x

No such luck, this is EVERY saturday :mad:

tell him to jump for it!! if he cant stay in on a saturday night then god help him. it's not as if he cant go out friday night

tell him to jump for it!! if he cant stay in on a saturday night then god help him. it's not as if he cant go out friday night
would you stay in for someone special hey;)