Tonight i've started to sleep train my son using the controlled crying method, so far i'm 9 minutes into it, almost crying and hes screaming. I know it's the best thing to do for both of us but its easier said than done, i just want to go get him and cuddle him but if i give in now it's going to be 11pm bed times forever, i need some 'me' time!! Ohhhh this is awful :sad:

How old is your son (just out of curiosity!)

Don't falter- I know it's a hard thing to do, but you can't have a constantly tired child who doesn't get enough sleep at night forever, can you?

He's 18 months old.

Exactly Medusa, he's constantly whingy and tired because he doesn't sleep on a night.

Thankfully its taken 45 minutes tonight and he's sleeping peacefully, hope it continues to be this easy!

Glad it's been successful tonight- it's not foolproof, and there will be backwards steps and nights you wonder whether you're doing the best thing, but after the first couple of weeks you'll be seeing enough to make you sure you're doing the best thing for him as well as yourself.

Have you read TODDLER TAMING by Dr Green?? In there he advises to use sedation, obviously cosult your doctor first.

I was gonna type the whole techique but.... you'll probably fall asleep!

You can borrow the book if u want :hihi:

it may be hard to do, but console yourself with the knowledge that he won't remember it in a week or two!

well done for sticking with it tonight - like you say, if you give in, you're stuck with late nights forever. you deserve some time off, even if he's not happy about it - your routine has completely altered for his benefit, it's actually perfectly reasonable to expect him to be a little bit amenable too.

pmd u tinkabel:thumbsup:

Aww hard work. We did it with twins but we did it very early and did 3 nights on 1 minute, 3 nights on 2minutes etc and never went past 5 minutes. We still have to do it occasionally to get one of them back into the routine but it paid off. We have our evenings again and that time is treasured.
He won't remember and he won't be hurt by it, in the long run you'll both benefit. Hang on in there!

aww bless, i can so sympathise with ya on this one.......however........as each child is different, and responds in different ways to certain "tasks" or "ideas" etc, it is difficult finding out the best way to get your child to sleep without going through experimenting. (i have had 3 babies, & looked after many babies too). My sister did the whole "let him cry and he will drop off" thingy....(when i babysat for her).so i did, and it was awful. All i could do was picture myself in his lil shoes, and wandering why i had been left in my cot etc. Anyway, i also used this technique with my daughter(eldest one, now 23yrs). Both my nephew and my daughter have always been clingy at nitetimes, and have not wanted to go to bed at night as they have got older. With my other 2 children, i tried it once with my son, and couldnt do that anymore. So, i rocked him to sleep, or sang to him, as you do. You may think that this made a rod for my own back, but it didn't. So my son and youngest daughter were treat the same ragarding sleeping.........they fell asleep on me or in their moses basket etc, i carried them upstairs to bed....no probs, and they have been the ones to go to bed okay too. But, remember every child has different ways of dealing with things, and so do we as parents. Good luck with anything you may attemp, and i hope you find the right one to get your child a good nights sleep........right, end of babble........lol
Destiny x

We did this at 7 months because none of us were getting much sleep - it worked from the first night and we've never looked back. Like everyone above has said - baby is happy because he gets more sleep, parents get an evening to themselves and precious sleep!

I remember having to do this with my eldest, it is heart wrenching, but soon you will all feel the benefit. I did not make the same mistakes with my younger son & so never had to go through the same process. Good luck. xx

Stick with it, hun. And congratulations on making it through the first night!!!!!Just a few tips I found useful:

**Tailor it to your child...some will calm quicker if you go in every few minutes as most suggest. Some, like my son, only get more wound up if they see you, so we had to stay out

**It might take longer than you expect (took us weeks). No-one told me that, and everyone else seemed to crack it in a day or two. I got so frustrated! BUt it worked in the end, thank god

**Give your child masses of attention the one or two hours before bedtime, that way they feel loved and secure, and it isn't so hard for either of you when you have to leave them to cry

I've found he still has stages - teething, walking, after illness, etc when we have to go back to it again, but now that we have an agreed plan we stick to, he never tests it for more than a couple of days.

Once you both get used to it, you'll find you do it on autopilot until they're beyond toddlerhood. They will start being difficult to settle from time to time but you just follow the same routine of

Wait for a bit then go and check they're ok and settle them down
if crying starts again, wait for a longer bit etc etc

It just becomes second nature and it works.

Gees know how this feels! Some nights it can take hours of going back and forth, "no its bedtime" laying him back down. Argh!!! but he just looks so cute with his little "jug" lip crying i just want to squeeze him!
Mines 12months and we are sort of in a routine, depends what mood he is in or if he has a tooth. We chill out from 7, eat some supper, bath time at 8 and milk and bed at 8.30 (ISH). REally dont know how some people get them down at 7 and they sleep til 8am??? But our routine works for us-sort of
Good luck and i hope you get a good nights rest within the next week!!

thanks again zebra

Threads merged.
For parents of younger babies, please see The Big Little Baby Sleep Thread. (http://www.sheffieldforum.co.uk/showthread.php?t=163984&highlight=baby+sleep+thread)
Cheers
Zebra

...........

Just to let you know why the threads were merged: we felt that this is a big issue, one that will run and run, and it's useful to have all the posts in one place so no-one has to trawl about through masses of threads, and possibly miss just that right piece of advice.

Yellowrose, I thought you had a good question. Perhaps you would reconsider reposting it? I am sure plenty of people here will have lots of ideas and tea and sympathy to hand out. I did, but didn't get the opportunity, as it can take me a while to get around to responding sometimes.

Cosy

Thought i'd give you all an update, my DS continued to be an angel from near enough day one and we both benefited greatly from it up until my OH decided he should go in a big boys bed, i tried telling him to leave the cot up just in case but OH was adamant he was big enough for a bed and the cot should be put away. First 2 weeks, my DS loved it, just lately he's being a pain going to sleep, he still goes up at 7pm but he can open the door so he thinks its a game, he plays for a bit and then cries but i leave him to it now, hes usually asleep by 8.30pm and he will learn, afterall it has only been a month and during that month we've had Christmas and New Year.

That's interesting to hear, tinkabel...I'm really concerned about taking this step. I think cosycub will take full advantage of the freedom as well. So I'm still stalling!

HELP! I have a 2.5 year old who won't go to sleep at night.

She has always had bath, story bed and from being young, we did the control crying thing (which is easier when they can't climb out of cots!).

Now, she won't go in the bath - and we have tried everything to get her to bed. Supernanny's suggestion - just keep picking them up and carrying them back to bed without saying/doing anything - it's a game to my little one! We've tried holding the door so she can't get out. We've tried reward charts, naughty step...we are at a loss of what to do. She wants to sleep in our bed which we won't allow but she screams and tantrums. She doesn't have hyper food/drink which makes her uncontrollable and she naps in the day. We are just stuck. Any more suggestions would be gratefully received!

I tend to keep doing the controlled crying and leave him to it unless he gets really distressed, then i go in, have a little chat to him whilst he sits on his bed, i then ask him to lie down which he does, i leave the room and listen for him getting out of bed and then tell him to get back into bed. 9 times out of 10 he gets back into bed in the end and goes to sleep. Don't really have anymore suggestions though, sorry!

Wish I could help, Liose, cosycub is younger...my only ray of hope through these things is that everything seems to be a phase, and phases pass. Stick to your guns and hang on in there! Good luck.

Liose, just an idea but is your littl'un tired enough? If she can keep up the "game" for so long maybe she's not quite ready for bed? Perhaps put back bedtime by half an hour, or miss out a daytime nap? 2.5 is a horrible inbetween time for whether they need a daytime sleep or not - mine were getting past needing it at that age, but could be really grouchy so needed a sort of half hour quiet, reading or something time (not TV!) instead of actual sleep.

Another thought, but maybe trying different ways of dealing with it (rewards, naughty step, etc) makes it too interesting. I can just imagine my own little schemers wondering "Hmm, I wonder which method they'll use this week" ;) . Maybe it's best to consistently try the same boring method (repeatedly carrying back without comment sounds good to me) though you do need the patience of a saint. Good luck!

Our 2 (just) year old daughter has become a real pain the rear, from being a fantastic sleeper as a baby going in her own bed at 15 months old she now wakes up every night and decides she wants to go playing!

At first we thought she was sleep walkin as she just got up and took some toys in the bathroom and sat and played very quietly, she can do it for hours!

i have no idea ho long she sits in there for i have a baby a 6 months old and if she gets up for a feed i go to the loo, and theres my daughter
sat there with a teletubby or a doll! shes flooded my bathroom from playing with the water one night, shes painted herself in makeup and had shampoos all over the bath room its getting beyond a joke now but she will happily go back to bed without crying but shes back in there within minutes,, she doesnt sleep during the day and doesnt really seem too effected by the lack of sleep!

she can wake up at about 2 or 3 in the morning and not go back to sleep! She has a bed time routine and has done since birth! shes the 3 of 4 children so its not like i dont know what im doing!

we also do a baby massage 20 before she goes to bed, does anyone have any idea how to get her out of this bad routine?

we cant put a safety gate on because she shares the room with her brothers who get up in the night for a wee, and a potty is out of the question cos well she will have fun playing in that:hihi:

have you seen those clocks in jojomamanbebe? its a rabbit clock that keeps its eyes shut until its time to get up, so you can tell child dojnt get up til open eyes.-not sure if it works but worth a shot
mines nearly 2 and just becoming a nightmare sleeper too and i wanted him in big boy bed b4 next baby comes-fat chance!

That sounds a really good idea but i dont think she wud get it,,, shes not a very good talker, so explaining it to her wud b a waste of time! its and idea to keep in mind tho!

Could you put a lock on the door which her brothers can reach but she can't?
We have a tiny hook on our bathroom door to prevent the girls trying to have 20 baths a day, they can't get in so they generally don't bother trying now.
What about having an overnight play box which is kept under the bed and only comes out when she fetches it out herself when she wakes up?
My only other suggestionis to alter her sleep pattern for a while and keep her up longer than usual or do a different pattern to the normal family routine. I get into habits of waking at certain times overnight and I have to really get shattered one night to sleep through and knock it off.

my 2 year old started getting up in the middle of the night, turned out that it was when he needed to go to the toilet and it was stining him as he was still in nappies. I just started not putting a nappy on at night he gout up to go to the toilet and sleeps great again. (dry nights at 2 years and 2 months but still not 100% dry during the day and hes almost 3 now)

actually since i put this post on she has woken but not got out of bed,, she has laid in bed talking to herself,,,

shes not been half as mardy or naughty, in fact shes pleasant!!! i have made an appointment for the sleep clinic, just in case, in going to start taking her to toddler groups again knacker her out that way!

so we will b seeing u soon Zebra!

Great, we'll be pleased to see you.
Glad she's been staying in bed, I bet that's been a bit of relief for you!

I am going through this at the moment too. My son has never been the best sleeper even since birth, but recently has been waking when we go to bed asking for pop all the time. I am trying to stop him going to bed with a drink but its a nightmare, last time we tried I caved in at about 2am after he'd been screaming since 7pm the night before. I tried reducing the ammount I give he just screams for more once hes finished. I tried giving water but he throws it back at me cos he knows what it is. I'm trying the spring water flavours but he's not really taken to anyproperly yet :help:

I am going through this at the moment too. My son has never been the best sleeper even since birth, but recently has been waking when we go to bed asking for pop all the time. I am trying to stop him going to bed with a drink but its a nightmare, last time we tried I caved in at about 2am after he'd been screaming since 7pm the night before. I tried reducing the ammount I give he just screams for more once hes finished. I tried giving water but he throws it back at me cos he knows what it is. I'm trying the spring water flavours but he's not really taken to anyproperly yet :help:

I tried everything with my son (he's 23 now) and fennel water is good for soothing and calming, you can get fennel tea-bags and if you add a little honey and fizzy spring water it might just taste like pop, I don't know if this will help but good luck

Thanks for that. My mum used to give me Phenigan as a kid :hihi: I'm 23 now too never did me no harm :D Chemist won't sell it to you for sedative now anyway so I'm told

Thanks for that. My mum used to give me Phenigan as a kid :hihi: I'm 23 now too never did me no harm :D Chemist won't sell it to you for sedative now anyway so I'm told

Ah i know phenigans well!! my kids had shockingly bad chicken pox about 2 years ago and thats stuff was great!!! they wasn't sleeping well and boy did it knock them out!!!! :hihi::hihi:

now im not condoning using it for anything but for it proper use but u still can get it from the chemists if your travelling and your child isnt a good traveller ;)

lol thanks for that. Though I'm thinking long term. Maybe I should speak to the health visitor...

Thread merge

mines just started waking up in the morn or after afternoon sleep crying-really balling eyes out. not sure whats wrong he used to wake up giggling and playing with toys in cot for 10min-going to phone HV for advice methinks!

mines just started waking up in the morn or after afternoon sleep crying-really balling eyes out. not sure whats wrong he used to wake up giggling and playing with toys in cot for 10min-going to phone HV for advice methinks!

Cosycub has always alternated...a few weeks waking up crying and miserable, a few weeks waking up happy and playful. I put it down to phases (isn't everything? lol). So it isn't necessarily anything to worry about.

When you try controlled crying, do your little ones continue to cry a lot, or do they gradually calm down? Our 19 month old always used to be a great sleeper and went down well. However for the last few months she's got worse. She now won't let us leave the room without standing up in her cot, and REALLY crying. And she just keeps crying like that. Even if we stay, she still takes ages to settle to sleep. This happens even on days when she's had loads of fresh air and walking, and/or very little daytime sleep.

Any ideas or support gratefully received!!

Has anyone tried the No cry sleep solution?

http://www.reviewcentre.com/reviews19953.html

I have heard a lot of people recommend it on parenting forums.

My little boy was like that- he suddenly started screaming at bedtime at about that age (but also when my next baby arrived) when before he'd go off fine and sleep til 8.30 am! (Not anymore). We started just ignoring him and putting him back in bed but then he started being sick from crying so much and seemed really distressed. In the end we just cuddled him and stayed with him til he fell asleep. My husband ended up staying with him everynight til he fell asleep for months as I was feeding my youngest to sleep. We gradually shortened the time we were with him. Now he only gets back up again if he's not tired enough after having a nap and we just put him back without saying anything. Getting cross didn't work- tried it and he just cried more!

Has anyone tried the No cry sleep solution?

http://www.reviewcentre.com/reviews19953.html

I have heard a lot of people recommend it on parenting forums.


Slightly off topic, but I looked at the link, and got confused by a link that appears to be a part of the review but isn't..sleepsense. Beware, this is not the No Cry solution, but an advertisement for a different technique. No hints or tips, and don't bother with the 'tailored' assessment. It isn't, it's just an advertising ploy. You will get nothing without paying out.

I thought I'd warn anyone else who is as ditzy as me and makes the same mistake.

For a giggle, find below an excerpt from the 'tailored' sleep assessment of my son (he is currently a good sleeper - the answers are clearly standard, not tailored) which you can get free from this site. No need to bother - they are undoubtedly all the same

The assessment:

3. Night-time wakings:

You mentioned that you currently have to get up with Cosycub
approximately 0 times a night.

I'll be honest with you, Laura... If your child is
4 - 6 months of age or older, you really shouldn't have to
get up with them at all during the night.

If you ARE having to get up with Cosycub, it is almost
certainly because he hasn't learned the skills
necessary to fall asleep without your help yet.

This is a skill that is actually quite easy for children to
learn, and most will start getting the hang of it in just a few
nights. (I'll tell you more about that at the end of this
e-mail...)

4. Sleep "crutches":

When I asked you how Cosycub fell back asleep when he
woke up during the night, your answer was: falls asleep on their own

It is my professional opinion that the #1 mistake that parents make
as far as their children's sleep is concerned is NOT teaching their
children how to fall asleep on their own.

If you're finding that you have to get up during the night with
Cosycub, it is almost certainly because he has come
to rely on YOU to help fall back to sleep at night.

For example, if a baby is put to bed with a soother, he may have
no trouble falling asleep. But when the soother falls out during
the night, and he wakes up without it, he'll need your
help to put it back in!

All people - adults and children alike - actually wake up several
times during any given night. The difference is that we as adults
know how to put ourselves back to sleep so quickly that we often
don't remember waking up at all!

Once Cosycub has learned this same skill, he will be
able to fall back to sleep WITHOUT having to rely on you. This
means a better night's sleep for Cosycub AND for
you!


Laura, now that you know a little more about why
Cosycub may be having troubles getting to sleep at night,
I'm sure your next question is, "What can I do about it?"

This is a question I have been helping tired parents answer for
years. And after meeting in person with literally hundreds of
families, I've put together a comprehensive program that ANY
family can use at home to solve their child's sleep problems.

"The Sleep Sense Program: Proven Strategies for Teaching your
Child to Sleep Through the Night" is now available online. And
it's much more than just another book about sleep; it is actually
a step-by-step guide that you'll use to plan out a complete
sleep strategy for Cosycub.

It also includes resources for tracking and monitoring your
success (plus a couple of limited time bonuses), and I can tell
you that most families see a real difference in their child's
sleep after just a few nights!

For more information on how you can claim your own copy of "The
Sleep Sense Program", please visit:

www. sleepsense. net/do-it-yourself-options

Sleep well,

Dana Obleman, B.A.(Psych.), B.Ed. (Elem.)
Creator -- The Sleep Sense Program

It may well be in good faith - but remember to do your homework first...I have made a start for you here...

i was wondering if any one could help.

last night my little girl woke up screaming about 10pm she goes to bed about 7pm she was completley unconsolable, we thought she may be teething so she had some calpol and she still wouldnt settle. eventually after bringhe rin my room (which i hate doing) she dropped off at about 12.30, then waking up screaming every couple of hours. today she has been fine playing and her general happy self. we have put her down for a nap and she has woken screaming in a completley inconsolable way it is so heart breaking i dont know whats wrong we have done all the usual stuff dirty nappy, hungary, thirst ETC and she seems ok. :help:

I think I'd have her off to the doctors vikki, if only just to check for things like an ear infection, which can cause intense intermittent pain.

I'd deffinatley get her to the docs, always better safe than sorry. I hope everythings ok, keep us posted!

If the doctor finds nothing physically wrong, it could be night terrors (http://www.babycenter.com/0_night-terrors_142.bc)

i was thinking about night terrors as she is fine once awake but when she goes to sleep she wakes screaming. i think there night be abit of teething as well as she has got her lovely rosey red cheeks ATM it was just so strange that it is only when she sleeps that she gets like this.

I'm not a doctor but I would suspect night terrors, it could be wise to google it before you rush off to the docs.
Our girls periodically go through it and have done on and off but as soon as I put it down to night terrors it stops again - which is also indicative of night terrors.
There have been various threads which might help in addition to the night terrors one, the Big Little Baby Sleep Thread might help and there the Toddlers Sleep Thread too which you can find in the shortcuts sticky.

well last night was brill i read about night terrors and they said about waking her up gentle 15 minuites after she was asleep then generally before she had one which was normally about 10pm so i gentley woke her at 9.30 pm and she only woke up at 4am but just gentley stroking her hair and soothing her sent her back to sleep. i think it must be night terrors as she is fine during the day.