http://uk.news.yahoo.com/14082006/344/kay-s-garlic-bread-line-voted-best.html

What is the funniest one liner of all time for you?


Mine is in the last episode of Blackadder series one, where Blackadder is gallantly walking down the chloisters of a monastery with mist and fog to increase the romance of the moment and he says:

Hurry up Baldrick, the monasteries on fire"

mine would be in reply to a police officer

police officer " whats your date of birth sir ?"

me "13 of september"

police officer " and what year, sir ? "

me " every year officer " :rolleyes:

motorist pulled up for speeding
officer whats the rush
motorist im looking for a s*** house
officer youve found one .... show us your licence

Oo, my birthday is the 13th of September. Cool!

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/14082006/344/kay-s-garlic-bread-line-voted-best.html

What is the funniest one liner of all time for you?


Mine is in the last episode of Blackadder series one, where Blackadder is gallantly walking down the chloisters of a monastery with mist and fog to increase the romance of the moment and he says:

Hurry up Baldrick, the monasteries on fire"

There's a better one from Blackadder Series Two:

"The winter nights must simply fly by...." :hihi: (Mr and Mrs Ploppy!)

And this one also:

"I would shake your hand, if I did not fear that it would come off!"

One of mine comes from Rita Sue and Bob Too but sadly I cant postiton here:hihi:

One of mine comes from Rita Sue and Bob Too but sadly I cant postiton here:hihi:

One of mine is too

"Make your own ****ing tea", it's just the way she says it.

One of mine is too

"Make your own ****ing tea", it's just the way she says it.

Thats the one:hihi:

Thats the one:hihi:

I have also got a few from Lock Stock, too many to mention but I do like

"If the milk turns out to be sour, I aint the kinda pussy t'drink it, nah wat I mean"

My mate was chatting up a really flat chested girl a few years back and said

I am going to tell you a joke that will make your tits fall off

he paused for a moment then said

Oh I am sorry looks like you have heard it:hihi: :hihi:

Father Ted - on Cows, to Dougall: "These are small. But those are far away."

the best one liner


was the titanic
or wouldve been if it dint sink

As far as one liners go, just watch Tommy Cooper and learn from the master.

Good clean humour with a bit of extremely crap (but fiendishly clever) magic thrown in ....... Just like that uhurrrghh!

http://users.ox.ac.uk/~peter/humour/cooper.html

One of mine is too

"Make your own ****ing tea", it's just the way she says it.

Precisely the line I was thinking of ........ there's also a racist one in the same film with the final tag "Yes he f*****g can!", which still makes me giggle, especially as most of the BNP brigade would think that he *really could* help it .......

I don't like the racist sentiment, by the way, but the way the line is delivered does make me laugh, as it shows the character for the racist get he is.

And set in Bradford too.

A truly, truly funny film. Slightly better than 'Raining Stones', which is another marvellous comedy.

As far as one liners go, just watch Tommy Cooper and learn from the master.

Good clean humour with a bit of extremely crap (but fiendishly clever) magic thrown in ....... Just like that uhurrrghh!

http://users.ox.ac.uk/~peter/humour/cooper.html

My Dad was a total workaholic, but would take a day off work to make sure he could see Tommy Cooper. An absolute, and accidental genius. He started as a genuine magician, paert of the Magic Circle, etc, and went to work with ENSA, entertaining the troops. Stage fright got the better of him, he buggered up his first three tricks, scampered off stage feeling very embarrassed ....... to hear tumultuous applause.

The troops thought he did it deliberately; a star was born.

A true funny man, bless him.

Another very funny film from the north was Pat & Margaret, in which the late great Thorn Hurd said upon learning her daughter had a "sex life" , NOT ON MY FEATHER EIDERDOWN?

But my favourite one liner this week has to be a line from TV programme "My family" when speaking of teenage boys was said "He's at that awkward age, too young for prison, too old for borstal"

my favourite is from only fools and horses when del agrees to give rodney his job back, rodney asks what his title will be and del turns round and says "well we'll call you lord rodney!"

pure quality. whoever said sarcasm was the lowest form of wit was clueless