ok, bit of a wee personal situation going on here:

my parents, who i love to bits have decided to call a quits on their 27yr marriage. My sister is in pieces about it but as im up here, well away from brum ,i dont know what is going on behind the scenes.

i dont know how to react...they've always been a solid rock in my eyes and now they are splitting it has made me really confused...its certainly not the reaction i would have expected....

do i let what ever happens or do i bomb down the m1 tonite to try and act as peace maker?? :help:

Dont be sad about it- it happens a lot it seems.. I would go down in the car and see whats going on though mate- but at the end of the day, you've got to leave the ultimate decision to your parents.

Maybe they just want something different in their lives now- its not a bad thing honestly and just because they may not be together in the future, it wont mean that they dont love you or your sis any less because of it.

My parents split when I was younger and I have to say it was the best thing they have ever done to be honest- my mam has come out of her shell and my dads shadow and has become a more confident person as well because of it which I admire a lot about her.

Its nowt to be worried about mate- I was upset at the time when it happened but when I looked at the big picture- I could see it was for the best.

Again, dont worry about it mate!
All the best to you and your sis mate :)

Aw I'm sorry Ade.

Hope you're ok. My parents split when I was 10, and it'll get easier!

Maybe you could take a few days off work and go down, or your sis could come to sheffield for a bit to take her mind off it and let your mum and dad talk, so she wont able to hear them arguing and stuff.

Hope your ok xxx

When I was going through my marriage split I would have been SO offended if anyone had presumed that a good talk could make a difference, after I'd spent years with internal dialogue and trying to address the problems before finally making the decision that it had to happen.

I'm aware that this is hugely shaking of your emotional foundations, and maybe you need to talk to both of your parents in order to help everyone cope with this, but please don't think that this is something that your parents will have entered into lightly.

The divorce rate these days is very high in marriages of couples who stay together and feel that they can work together to raise children, but who consequently find that after children have left home they simply don't have much in common, and find that they no longer actually like each other very much.

ok, bit of a wee personal situation going on here:

my parents, who i love to bits have decided to call a quits on their 27yr marriage. My sister is in pieces about it but as im up here, well away from brum ,i dont know what is going on behind the scenes.

i dont know how to react...they've always been a solid rock in my eyes and now they are splitting it has made me really confused...its certainly not the reaction i would have expected....

do i let what ever happens or do i bomb down the m1 tonite to try and act as peace maker?? :help:

Is it war? or is it what you say - that they've "called it quits". There's a world of difference.

First of all im really sorry about your situation, i cant begin to imagin what your going through..!!

For your own peace of mind mate i would go home and find out what the problem is an see if you cant help them with the situation, if not ya'll end up in a mess and your mind working overtime wondering about what the hell's going on, also you probably need to go and give your sister some support... your family needs you! :)

Is it war? or is it what you say - that they've "called it quits". There's a world of difference.

yeah i think quits is the thing....like me they are extremely passive...nothing really comes to the boil.

like i said, im pretty much indifferent....really dont know how im sposed to react.

thanks all....your all lovely!:thumbsup: :)

The biggest thing that you have to remember through all of this is- your mum will still be your mum, and your dad will still be your dad, but they'll just be doing it separate from each other and stand a really good chance of being happier as a result of splitting up.

Oh yes, and they'll still love you and your sister just as much when they aren't a couple (in fact possibly more once they're no longer unhappy in a failing marraige).

Hi Brummie
Be there for them,they will need you, ur sister, ur parents..........but don't forget you too. It does affect us when our parents split, so having a damn good chat with your sis and showing aswell as accepting support form her will be very helpful. When two people split up, there are no amount of others telling you to comprimise, work it out etc, and that, to be honest is very annoying. When my parents split up, i was there for both of them. I held nothing against either one of them, they're my parents after all and i do love them, and they had been married for 26 years. You cannot make other peoples mind up for them. If they are to get back together, then it is up to them to sort it out, but try not to close yourself off from them, as they still love you n ur sis. Would you sooner them be together and live a lie for the rest of thier lifes?. You still have your parents hun, no matter what. Two happy parents is far better than 2 miserable ones. Let your parents support you n ur sis, let them no how you feel, without telling them to get things sorted. Talk to your parents separately if need be..........but always remember, they do love you two, no matter what.......hope you will be okies soon. Take care
Destiny

Hi Brummie
Be there for them,they will need you, ur sister, ur parents..........but don't forget you too. It does affect us when our parents split, so having a damn good chat with your sis and showing aswell as accepting support form her will be very helpful. When two people split up, there are no amount of others telling you to comprimise, work it out etc, and that, to be honest is very annoying. When my parents split up, i was there for both of them. I held nothing against either one of them, they're my parents after all and i do love them, and they had been married for 26 years. You cannot make other peoples mind up for them. If they are to get back together, then it is up to them to sort it out, but try not to close yourself off from them, as they still love you n ur sis. Would you sooner them be together and live a lie for the rest of thier lifes?. You still have your parents hun, no matter what. Two happy parents is far better than 2 miserable ones. Let your parents support you n ur sis, let them no how you feel, without telling them to get things sorted. Talk to your parents separately if need be..........but always remember, they do love you two, no matter what.......hope you will be okies soon. Take care
Destiny

i really wish u hadnt said that....had to run to the bathroom to compose myself....my office isnt the best place to ball my eyes out! thanks thats really lovely advice!

p.s
there are no rules as to how we are supposed to react in a situation like this, but there are many emotions involved. Plse don't bottle them up. If you need a damn good cry, then so be it.....do it. Everything will be fine in due course.
Destiny

your welcome luv.....:)
Destiny

Hi my parents have just split up after 26 years. Well to be fair my dad buggered of to america without telling us. I suppose it wasnt so much as a suprise to me and my brothers as they had always argued and after my little sister died they just gave up. You know your parents better then anyone, so follow your instincts. Even if they dont want to discuss it that dosent mean you cant be there for them. Your sister will need you as much as you need her. I felt like the family i believed in that were always there for each other was falling to bits. If it was me i would have been straight down there but more for my brothers and thats how it has always been (me have to rush over to sort out another row). Obviusly all familys are diffrent but the decision to split up after such a long time is never easy wether it is what you want or not. Probably from our parents generation more so. Do what ever YOU think is the right way to support your family and dont ever feel like you shouldnt be upset. It is a difficult for all of you. best of luck x