Am I the only person here who thinks it rather unfair that it is still (in 2006) expected that men must make the first move when meeting a potential partner?

This, I feel, is particulary hard on shy men and those who do not really know what is expected of them. It is much worse being a shy man than a shy woman in my opinion.

Your views please.

Stop being chicken Slim, if you don't ask you don't get.

Oh do stop going on this not being 'fair', or that not being 'fair' Slim - what in life is fair?!? You're in this world, get used to it or keep shying away from it - your choice.

Did you watch the TV program last night, on how to chat to (and ultimately chat-up) women?

seems fair to me. women got the bad deal I think. You know child birth, monthly cycles etc.

<Expects barrage of assault from feminist types...>

Women often make the first move. Perhaps you just don't recognise when they're doing it?

I agree its unfair! My boyfriend is by NO means shy! When he met me he was a wreck- i made it easier on him I felt so sorry for him!

Women often make the first move. Perhaps you just don't recognise when they're doing it?

Could you elaborate please.

women tend to be a little more subtle when flirting, the twist of the hair.. flicker of the eye lids, the coy smile, and the odd touch as they're talking to you..

Could you elaborate please.

Yes, Slimsid, I'd love to. Women tend to be a little more subtle when flirting, the twist of the hair.. flicker of the eye lids, the coy smile, and the odd touch as they're talking to you.. Apparently.

The thing is Sid, if a woman were to make the first move then a shy, nervous bloke like you would be scared off anyway, so that gains you what???
Some women will make the first move, but my guess is that they are not the type you would want anyhow.
I have been picked up in a club in my single days by a girl introducing herself with the line "You're not going home tonight, you're coming with me" (and I dutifully obeyed, it would have been rude not to), but I feel from your posts that you are looking for something more than that.
Best of luck

Im going to regret this, i know it.

I have never made the first move in my life! I really wouldnt know where to start or have the guts to do it.

seems fair to me. women got the bad deal I think. You know child birth, monthly cycles etc.

<Expects barrage of assault from feminist types...>
Not at all. I agree. You'd be more than welcome to take the burden of menstruation and childbirth. Damn medical science and its slow rate of progression!

Sid, blokes don't always have to make the first move. Really. That doesn't mean that you're likely to get swept off your feet (well, not very often anyway). Most women tend to be rather subtle. I wonder if you're just really oblivious to others' signals?

Sid, blokes don't always have to make the first move. Really. That doesn't mean that you're likely to get swept off your feet (well, not very often anyway). Most women tend to be rather subtle. I wonder if you're just really oblivious to others' signals?

Yes I could well be.

By make the first move I meant come up to me and start talking.

Im going to regret this, i know it.

I have never made the first move in my life! I really wouldnt know where to start or have the guts to do it.

Most men are pretty slow on the uptake. They often make the "first" move after 3 months of blatant hinting. Poor Sid...he's probably got a bevvy of beauties lusting after him and he doesn't even realise.

Most men are pretty slow on the uptake. They often make the "first" move after 3 months of blatant hinting. Poor Sid...he's probably got a bevvy of beauties lusting after him and he doesn't even realise.
Well I have to admit that im as subtle as a knee in the groin and ive had dozens of girlfriends tell me that they went through hell to try to get me to realise that they were interested, including my current one!
I cant help it, im thick:D

...By make the first move I meant come up to me and start talking.
Well, that certainly isn't the case then. I don't know. What sort of signals do you give off? Do tend to look serious and unapproachable? Are you expecting most encounters to be of the potential-girlfriend nature? Do you come across as trying too hard?

You just need to relax, forget about finding a woman as anything other than a friend, and let it progress naturally.

if i like a guy i always make first move:hihi: :hihi:

Hecate is right. Most of the women Ive had as girlfriends started out as friends first.
Theres a danger here though, because once Ive had a woman as a friend for a while I no longer see her as being in the slightest bit sexually attractive. No matter how pretty she is or how much she starts to play up to me, so theres a rather tight window of opportunity for the lucky girl.

go up to her....look up up and down n say...."ow u doin" see what she says!

9 times out of ten their reaction is shut up you tit....but there is always the one.....

I don't think that it's the case that men must always make the first move. If a woman is interested in you she'll let you know. Perhaps that's just not the case for you.

Hecate is right. Most of the women Ive had as girlfriends started out as friends first.
Theres a danger here though, because once Ive had a woman as a friend for a while I no longer see her as being in the slightest bit sexually attractive. No matter how pretty she is or how much she starts to play up to me, so theres a rather tight window of opportunity for the lucky girl.


i hate that window....the opportunity is there for the taking and if it passes you are stuck in that crappy friendship state and it is hard to get anything more. not a bad thing tho....u've still got another mate instead....no wait, it is a bad thing....

Talking to someone should come naturally, male or female.

go up to her....look up up and down n say...."ow u doin" see what she says!

9 times out of ten their reaction is shut up you tit....but there is always the one.....
lol trust you so you would know then:hihi: :hihi:

lol trust you so you would know then:hihi: :hihi:


mmmmm yeah....only for a laugh like...but then i ALWAYS walk off kicking myself...STUPID ADRIAN! BAD ADRIAN!!!:hihi: :hihi:

Here is a link to that program I mentioned was on last night, it's called 'Seduction School (http://www.channel4.com/health/microsites/S/shape_of_the_nation/school.html)'.

I think it's a (3 part?) series so you can still catch the remaining episodes if you missed it. Maybe if it's a sucess and goes to a second series you could even get on it! :D

go up to her....look up up and down n say...."ow u doin" see what she says!...
Unless you have the looks and charisma of Joey from 'Friends', I wouldn't recommend giving that one a go :hihi: .

ive had dozens of girlfriends tell me that they went through hell to try to get me to realise that they were interested.

You must be one helluva good looking guy Jabberwocky.

Talking to someone should come naturally, male or female.

Providing you have the ability to speak, yes.

i hate that window....the opportunity is there for the taking and if it passes you are stuck in that crappy friendship state and it is hard to get anything more. not a bad thing tho....u've still got another mate instead....no wait, it is a bad thing....
I think you need to take a look at this (http://www.sheffieldforum.co.uk/showthread.php?t=131060) thread ;).

You must be one helluva good looking guy Jabberwocky.
Oh Im gorgeous. Honest.
I think, god help them, they go for the personality.
Or the wallet.

I think you need to take a look at this (http://www.sheffieldforum.co.uk/showthread.php?t=131060) thread ;).


lol i knew that thread was gonna come back to haunt me. haha

Here is a link to that program I mentioned was on last night, it's called 'Seduction School (http://www.channel4.com/health/microsites/S/shape_of_the_nation/school.html)'.

I think it's a (3 part?) series so you can still catch the remaining episodes if you missed it. Maybe if it's a sucess and goes to a second series you could even get on it! :D

lol!!!! i watched half of it last night- one of the fellas was from sheffield.

i have to admit, whilst i could see the logic in what they were being told and whilst their confidence in themselves undeniably grew.....they just came across as so cringeworthy.

the approaches were boardering on lecherous and creepy and to be honest, if one of them had pulled that stunt on me, id have been off like a shot. it was nothing to do woith their looks or anything like that, just that they were a bit cheesey. although in their defence, this may just have been down to the editing of the program.


sophie
x

Some women will make the first move, but my guess is that they are not the type you would want anyhow.


Maybe this is one of the reasons why some women avoid making the first move - because some in society perceive her as loose if she does so!

seems fair to me. women got the bad deal I think. You know child birth, monthly cycles etc.

<Expects barrage of assault from feminist types...>

Why should men suffer because women want to go for a bike ride every month?

Maybe this is one of the reasons why some women avoid making the first move - because some in society perceive her as loose if she does so!
well said i always do and im nothing like that:mad: :mad:

I nicked this from another thread. I think it could be relevant here.


Originally Posted by plekhanov
Women have a biological drive to go for high status rather than simply talented men, (which I’m afraid in our society doesn’t include unicyclists) this is because women seek sexual partners who can provide good genetic material and hopefully also stick around or be a good provider for any offspring they have. There is also the strategy of finding a not particularly talented but reliable partner to provide for your children and then seeking illicit couplings with high status individuals in order to 1. vary the genetic makeup of your offspring 2. seek genes likely to be an advantage in your environment.

I should point out that the above are inbuilt biological drives observed and theorised by evolutionary psychologists not conscious strategies women deliberately follow.

Just be more assertive, confident and direct. If necessary wind yourself up before you go out.

Many women love decisiveness.

Im going to regret this, i know it.

I have never made the first move in my life! I really wouldnt know where to start or have the guts to do it.

Got to agree with Mr Wocky on this. I couldnt chat a woman up if you paid me. So I dont I just chat to them like their a mate and its done me good so far.

To put it bluntly eventually Sid if you wanna get your rocks off you're going to have to talk to a woman, not necesssarily chat her up but just talk to her and get oer the mental block.

women tend to be a little more subtle when flirting, the twist of the hair.. flicker of the eye lids, the coy smile, and the odd touch as they're talking to you..

Oh my god, I think the bar man in my local was coming on to me last night then.

Oh my god, I think the bar man in my local was coming on to me last night then.
Im sorry. Ill try to control myself in future.

Oh my god, I think the bar man in my local was coming on to me last night then.

did he ask if he could get you a drink as well? :hihi:


sophie
x

Got to agree with Mr Wocky on this. I couldnt chat a woman up if you paid me.

What is this, Poor Seduction Anonymous?

For the record, I have made the first move but I'm very bad at it, not necessarily shy, just bad. Please don't make me give examples, I'd die of shame.

It's a good thing the ones I try and chat up rarely have any interest in me or I'd be kicking myself more!

Wilf

Am I the only person here who thinks it rather unfair that it is still (in 2006) expected that men must make the first move when meeting a potential partner?

This, I feel, is particulary hard on shy men and those who do not really know what is expected of them. It is much worse being a shy man than a shy woman in my opinion.

Your views please.

Ah Sid when will you learn.

I generally make the first move. I don't want to rely on someone else to decide what is happening in my life. If it's a yes all good, if it's a no you haven't spent ages deliberating and making it into a big deal so it's an easy recovery. Simple :)

to be honest, i tend to make the first move too.

mainly coz if i dont- nobody else if going to do it for me.

i hate 'what ifs' so id rather go for it and get knocked back than wonder 'what if' when ive bottle it and gotten miffed at myself for being a scaredy cat.

sophie
x

Precisely :) Although I do rather have the etiquette of a bull in a china shop

Precisely :) Although I do rather have the etiquette of a bull in a china shop

i think anybody at razor this saturday needs to be very afraid......thats my tactic too! :D


sophie
x

i think anybody at razor this saturday needs to be very afraid......thats my tactic too! :D


sophie
x

It's be like a wildlife documentary! I just had word from a gentleman that couldn't give me a straight answer at TTC BBQ that he has decided yes and will be there Sat. How's that for too late!

lol!!!! i watched half of it last night- one of the fellas was from sheffield.

i have to admit, whilst i could see the logic in what they were being told and whilst their confidence in themselves undeniably grew.....they just came across as so cringeworthy.

the approaches were boardering on lecherous and creepy and to be honest, if one of them had pulled that stunt on me, id have been off like a shot. it was nothing to do woith their looks or anything like that, just that they were a bit cheesey. although in their defence, this may just have been down to the editing of the program.


sophie
x
I only caught bits of it, but the advice I saw was "just go up to a girl [a stranger!] that you like and touch her when you say hello, they love that" or something along those lines!! :o

It's be like a wildlife documentary! I just had word from a gentleman that couldn't give me a straight answer at TTC BBQ that he has decided yes and will be there Sat. How's that for too late!

well, at least you made the first move and eventually got a reply.

see boys, we're not all wall flowers! ;)


sophie
x

I only caught bits of it, but the advice I saw was "just go up to a girl [a stranger!] that you like and touch her when you say hello, they love that" or something along those lines!! :o

one of the other bits of advice was making your intentions clear towards the female concerned which involved calling them sexy.

if a random bloke came up to me and told me i was sexy, i think id probably be asking when he last went to specsavers! lol

sophie
x

Erm....



Hello......erm...



I was just.....erm......watching you from across the room there and...
Im not a stalker or anything, Im ... I was just....and I thought,,,,you know...
That we could.... sort of.... go out and.... you know...

Pisss off?

Ok...

i think the way a woman makes the first move, if she does is the way she looks at you. if a woman gives me the look i would go up to her if shes attractive (or has big boobs and a nice batty). if i found a woman attractive i would linger around her to see if she notices me if she doesnt i would think she is not interested so i probably wouldnt approach or if i did wouldnt be very confident.

you all must have heard the famous saying
"dont be scared, its only pussy"

if a random bloke came up to me and told me i was sexy, i think id probably be asking when he last went to specsavers! lol



So do you not really look like THAT picture then? It was you wasn't it? Perhaps I'm confused, but THAT was moist. Erm, can I use the word moist on a family forum?

If you're shy it doesn't work. Be upfront. :-)

So do you not really look like THAT picture then? It was you wasn't it? Perhaps I'm confused, but THAT was moist. Erm, can I use the word moist on a family forum?

"Moist", blip? That was rather too much information, thank you. (Bleurgh!)

:hihi:

So do you not really look like THAT picture then? It was you wasn't it? Perhaps I'm confused, but THAT was moist. Erm, can I use the word moist on a family forum?

i dont know what picture youre talking about :confused:

now im concerned- please pm me rather than post on here, cheers!


sophie
x

i dont know what picture youre talking about :confused:



I think he means your avatar :)

I think he means your avatar :)

i wish that was me, unfortunately its not.

its the fantasticly beautiful and glamorous mrs marilyn manson, the one and only dita von teese.

blimey, if i looked like her, id be fighting them off with a soiled stick! :hihi:


sophie
x

apparently "moist" is the word most disliked by women ... it makes most of us feel sick ... closely followed by the word "flesh" ...

hmmmm ... *ponder* ... yes - forced to agree ... :hihi:

My contact lenses are called Johnson&Johnson 'Moists' and the young lass who recommended them at D&A visibly cringed when she told me the name.

Ruby's onto somethin' there mithinks. Steer clear of the M word. :thumbsup:

I'll also agree with a previous poster who said that shy doesn't work. Completely true mate so if you really want to be noticed you HAVE to put yourself out there in some way or another. Don't just stand in the corner waiting because you'll be waiting forever. Things that have worked for me in the past have been meeting people through friends or online dating sites. A good one I found when I was in my early 20s was working behind the bar. The girls have to talk to you in order to get a drink so if you have a bit of a laugh with them and be friendly while you're getting what they want they might just come back, and come back again. I know you're in your mid 30s but why not try getting an evening job in a bar where your kind of girls go out. Even if you don't pull for a while you'll be widening your social circle. :thumbsup:

why not try getting an evening job in a bar where your kind of girls go out.

Ah. You mean alive and breathing? (Sorry, sid :) )

I don't think men make the first move as said...it's women being subtle... then the guy reacts to this. (Sometimes...this sounds daft, but...its on a subconscious level unbeknown to the female herself too ! )

I think the best kind of dating are the ones that you don't really notices until it hits you in the face, and a lightbulb goes on in both your heads. :)

Otherwise, it's always a case of, one liking the other one more. When we don't look for a partner, then we'll find one. It's true...because we're more relaxed. More sociable, and enjoying our own lives. It portrays across to others.

Sid, why don't you just try and 'notices' whether girls give you a signal or not, without you actively trying to think of a way that makes them notices you. I know that some men are very 'on the ball' when a girl make a subtle gesture. Same as the guy who he first meets a girl. His eyes 'widen' and give out this 'shiny eye' thing... I read that in a mag once, and didn't really believe it, but these days, I do notices such things, you know ? It's all very subconscious.

apparently "moist" is the word most disliked by women ... it makes most of us feel sick ... closely followed by the word "flesh" ...

hmmmm ... *ponder* ... yes - forced to agree ... :hihi:

Apologies to you and every other woman on the Forum for making you all feel sick. I'm afraid I have to admit it is probably my favourite five letter word, closely followed by the word "sheer". Does that make you sick also?

Apologies to you and every other woman on the Forum for making you all feel sick. I'm afraid I have to admit it is probably my favourite five letter word, closely followed by the word "sheer". Does that make you sick also?

I didn't say women on the Forum, it was just something I read somewhere ... but I have to admit that both the words I mentioned do make me feel a bit yuk somehow ... weird isn't it?

Sheer? Sheer drop, sheer stockings, sheer cheek? *ponder* no, nowt wrong wi that .... :D

Not this crap again! :roll:

How would you know Sid? You never get out there to find out! Other people have said similar, but if you're gonna spend your life thinking "woe is me" and doing nothing about it except worrying, pondering and posting stupid ****** topics on the internet, then you WILL remain single.

I'm not the sort of bloke who could boldly stride up to a girl but I've rarely been without one, you just need to know the signs and act on them once you've got the green light. Like Sophie mentioned, you'll be kicking yourself for ever if all you got is a series of 'what ifs'.

Now get out of the house, do something about it and leave us alone! :rant:

Not this crap again! :roll:

How would you know Sid? You never get out there to find out! Other people have said similar, but if you're gonna spend your life thinking "woe is me" and doing nothing about it except worrying, pondering and posting stupid f*ckin topics on the internet, then you WILL remain single.

I'm not the sort of bloke who could boldly stride up to a girl but I've rarely been without one, you just need to know the signs and act on them once you've got the green light. Like Sophie mentioned, you'll be kicking yourself for ever if all you got is a series of 'what ifs'.

Now get out of the house, do something about it and leave us alone! :rant:

Well said!!!:thumbsup:

It isn't healthy being stuck next to your PC every day. As much as the internet is a great tool for meeting people, you need to get out there into the real world and show 'em what you made of.

Can anyone tell me how important eye contact and a smile are before talking to a girl? If I don't get any eye contact or smile from a girl and she is busy talking to other girls in a group is it worth bothering approaching them?

many thanks.

Can anyone tell me how important eye contact and a smile are before talking to a girl? If I don't get any eye contact or smile from a girl and she is busy talking to other girls in a group is it worth bothering approaching them?

many thanks.

Does this guy ever listen?? :loopy:

Can anyone tell me how important eye contact and a smile are before talking to a girl? If I don't get any eye contact or smile from a girl and she is busy talking to other girls in a group is it worth bothering approaching them?

many thanks.

Sid, go read a book on it or something. You seem to think there's hard-and-fast rules, there's not so stop ****** about and wasting our/your time on dissecting it. :mad:

Do you get eye contact and a smile often? Is it that much of a dilemma for you? Probably not. If you carry on with women like you do here you've got no chance. That said, pay them as much attention as you do your PC and you'll be flying!

Please give it a rest, go out of your house and hopefully come back to us with some good news.

Sid, go read a book on it or something. You seem to think there's hard-and-fast rules, there's not so stop ******* about and wasting our/your time on dissecting it. :mad:

Do you get eye contact and a smile often? Is it that much of a dilemma for you? Probably not. If you carry on with women like you do here you've got no chance. That said, pay them as much attention as you do your PC and you'll be flying!

Please give it a rest, go out of your house and hopefully come back to us with some good news.

If you don't want to help then why not just ignor this thread and concentrate on the ones you find interesting.

Hopfully someone else will feel differently to you.

You don't want help sid, people have tried to help you and you ignore their advice, ignore it or pretend it hasn't happened.

We've tried but you don't want helping, you seem quite happy to revel in your own self pity.

I know thats what you're doing, I do it myself, lets not mess about thinking you want actual help, you just want to be pitied.

Wilf

If you don't want to help then why not just ignor this thread and concentrate on the ones you find interesting.

Hopfully someone else will feel differently to you.

Agree with both of you on this one. 'Bring' could be more sympathetic but his message is valid. The worst situation to be in is one of constantly thinking about the negative side of dating/social interaction/life. I think this is a self esteem issue. This is a sensitive subject as people don't enjoy being told that there is something 'wrong' with them, but one people with low self-esteem need to address. Try some self-confidence books, seminars.

A lot of people (mainly wholly confident ones) sneer at the like thinking its a huge con but they are wonderful tools. Try NLP - see the Paul Mckenna site. Just think of it as a gym for the brain. People spend a lot of time on working their bodies out and just neglect their brain. Improve confidence by visulaising yourself as confident and feeling yourself as confident. I digress...

In the realm of the lurverly ladies (without wanting to sound like a Casonova, 'cos I ain't) my best advice is:
- NEVER be obvious that you wanna bang a girl as you'll just come across desperate.
- just TALK to them and appear INTERESTED in what they say; ask questions, if you don't feel you can do the running.
- make her LAUGH. If she finds you funny & laughs she'll feel happy, if she feels happy around you, she'll want to spend time with you.
- if that goes well try complimenting her (hair, dress or just tell her she looks gorgeous). Just as you'd appreciate being told you look fit, girls are absolutely no different!
- If that goes well and by this time you'll know if you're in or not, be a bit touchy-feely (don't cop hold of her babs or owt) just to reinforce you're up for it, the small of the back is always a good one - offer to buy her a drink at the bar and gently usher her there.
- I'd say my last tip is if you get her number or she's up for it that night. Don't go for the first date sex! A lot of guys (my mates included) would strongly disagree with this one - every holes a goal etc, but prolong that first shag a bit (send her saucy texts & compliment her more) it'll be well worth it when it happens!

Apologise for length and girth...and if anyone thinks i'm a total sleaze!

Agree with both of you on this one. 'Bring' could be more sympathetic but his message is valid. The worst situation to be in is one of constantly thinking about the negative side of dating/social interaction/life. I think this is a self esteem issue. This is a sensitive subject as people don't enjoy being told that there is something 'wrong' with them, but one people with low self-esteem need to address. Try some self-confidence books, seminars.

A lot of people (mainly wholly confident ones) sneer at the like thinking its a huge con but they are wonderful tools. Try NLP - see the Paul Mckenna site. Just think of it as a gym for the brain. People spend a lot of time on working their bodies out and just neglect their brain. Improve confidence by visulaising yourself as confident and feeling yourself as confident. I digress...

In the realm of the lurverly ladies (without wanting to sound like a Casonova, 'cos I ain't) my best advice is:
- NEVER be obvious that you wanna bang a girl as you'll just come across desperate.
- just TALK to them and appear INTERESTED in what they say; ask questions, if you don't feel you can do the running.
- make her LAUGH. If she finds you funny & laughs she'll feel happy, if she feels happy around you, she'll want to spend time with you.
- if that goes well try complimenting her (hair, dress or just tell her she looks gorgeous). Just as you'd appreciate being told you look fit, girls are absolutely no different!
- If that goes well and by this time you'll know if you're in or not, be a bit touchy-feely (don't cop hold of her babs or owt) just to reinforce you're up for it, the small of the back is always a good one - offer to buy her a drink at the bar and gently usher her there.
- I'd say my last tip is if you get her number or she's up for it that night. Don't go for the first date sex! A lot of guys (my mates included would strongly disagree with this one - every holes a goal etc) but prolong that first shag a bit (send her saucy texts & compliment her more) it'll be well worth it when it happens!

Apologise for length and girth...and if anyone thinks i'm a total sleaze!


he's a smoooooooth operator!!!! smooooooooth, operator!

he's a smoooooooth operator!!!! smooooooooth, operator!
Hee, hee. :)

THat class!

Totally agree with you. THose Paul Mckenna books and CD's are fantastic. They've done wonders for me when I was going through a pretty low time.

Im now married so i dont do this now but i always used to go up and say hi to nice guys. However its more flattering for a guy to come over to me but then again i suppose its the same for women to go to men from a guys point of view. Why dont we meet somwhere in the middle like those cheesy chick flicks?

:hihi: :love: ;) :thumbsup:

Am I the only person here who thinks it rather unfair that it is still (in 2006) expected that men must make the first move when meeting a potential partner?

This, I feel, is particulary hard on shy men and those who do not really know what is expected of them. It is much worse being a shy man than a shy woman in my opinion.

Your views please.

you off again slimsid! :rolleyes:

in answer to your question i dont think it is still really expected that a bloke has to make the first move these days. however usually it is a bit of both, you will (or should) pick up on signals before you approach which should take some of the uncertainty out of things such as making eye contact with someone or a smile etc. while you lack confidence so much it is unlikely that a woman would make the first move and approch you anyway, women like confidence in a bloke and someone who knows how to enjoy himself and has a sense of humour - if a bloke is sat on his own in the corner they are not going to attract attention (not for the right reasons anyway)

slim stop being such a faggot and go and talk to the women!

yep what he said! ^^

if you dont ask you wont get. besides whats the very worst that can happen - they say no, ooo scary! if you dont try your will never so know may as well just give it a go - only prob being if it works out then you may have to think of other topics to post about! ;)

We need to do some role play here to show him what to say... anybody want to play the part of the lady?

Dont all bleedin rush at once!!!!!

ok i will, can i start?

Sod off! :hihi:

ok i will, can i start?

Sod off! :hihi:
Marry me!

god Im in love.

I was just going to volunteer too, but I see the role's already taken. Sigh...

Flocking around me... damn im good.

Flocking around me... damn im good.
It must be your pheromones. I'm like a moth; I can detect an attractive male from miles away :hihi: .

It must be your pheromones. I'm like a moth; I can detect an attractive male from miles away :hihi: .
I stink?

Youre telling me , very subtly that i have a stench?

To be fair mate, its as simple as what most of the lads have said.. just go talk to her!! Though its not always easy, but you can normally tell if it worths chatting to her at all in the first place.

I fancy the absolute pants off a girl who works in a bar in the city centre, so when she camee over to say hello ( I obviously drink too much, as thats why she recognised me!) i just said it'd be ccool to go for a drink, the response.. She held my hand, played with her hair and smiled..... then walked away. So either i have to keep trying or ive been given the brush off????!!! Confused, yep?! Maybe they do things differnelty in Poland!

I stink?

Youre telling me , very subtly that i have a stench?
Only of lurrrvve :love: :hihi: .

Only of lurrrvve :love: :hihi: .
I installed a sarcasm meter on this comp last week.

It just went off the scale and exploded

Only of lurrrvve :love: :hihi: .

back off he's mine! :P

back off he's mine! :P
Oh, I don't think so. I saw him first. Finders keepers :D .

Look!
Im MINE!!
Im not some piece of meat!

Erm.. unless your wearing a suspender belt or something...

Oh, I don't think so. I saw him first. Finders keepers :D .


evenin aitch :) . talkin about me again i see :D

Thats so typical of you women. youfight over one when the younger model is available over.....













<----- here

Wilf

evenin aitch :) . talkin about me again i see :D
Hello Sol :wave: . I'd have to start an entirely new thread to discuss you, sweetie ;) .

Oh, I don't think so. I saw him first. Finders keepers :D .

ok you can have him, but slimsid is mine!

*Jabber slips neatly off the hook and legs it*

Thats so typical of you women. youfight over one when the younger model is available over.....













<----- here

Wilf

:o this arrow points at me! im not a lesbian you know!

:o this arrow points at me! im not a lesbian you know!
If you were could i have pics of--


ok ill leave...

*Jabber slips neatly off the hook and legs it*

thats ok its not like you will get far with the ball and chain around the ankle :P

:o this arrow points at me! im not a lesbian you know!

You've never had those kind of feelings or felt the need to describe them in minute detail on an internet forum? :hihi:

Wilf

You've never had those kind of feelings or felt the need to describe them in minute detail on an internet forum? :hihi:

Wilf
Well yes, but only via PM ;) . Oh, sorry. You weren't talking to me, were you? :hihi: .

You've never had those kind of feelings or felt the need to describe them in minute detail on an internet forum? :hihi:

Wilf

well now that you mention it... ;)

I'm spoilt for choice now.

Is anyone esle feeling warm? Wheres that fan, i need to cool off a little.

Wilf

why a choice? perhaps hecate will be willing to share with me ;)

why a choice? perhaps hecate will be willing to share with me ;)
But of course. I'm very... generous ;) .

Giggedy Giggedy Gig!

Wilf

Giggedy Giggedy Gig!

Wilf

and that means...? :huh: sorry i dont speak muppet!

Sorry I went a bit Quagmire at the very thought.

I dunno what to do with myself now!

I just realised being easily flustered is perhapsthe reason why making the second and third moves are things I can't do.

Wilf

Sorry I went a bit Quagmire at the very thought.

I dunno what to do with myself now! ...
Are you open to suggestions? :D

Sorry I went a bit Quagmire at the very thought.

I dunno what to do with myself now!

I just realised being easily flustered is perhapsthe reason why making the second and third moves are things I can't do.

Wilf

so just how will slimsid cope if he ever gets past the first one! :rolleyes:

I dunno what to do with myself now!


tie yourself up and wait... :P

Im dying to add something here, but if i add too much the entire thread will be locked down so this is my last post here.

God I forgot what I was going to babble now.

tie yourself up and wait... :P

You bringing the gag and the candles?

Wilf

Are you open to suggestions? :D

Your wish is my command :P

You bringing the gag and the candles?

Wilf

why? will those things help you when hell freezes over? ;)

Your wish is my command :P
::Hecate tries to resist urge to send detailed PM:: ;)

why? will those things help you when hell freezes over? ;)

Oh you tease, i was half naked already!

well im goin to bed so i will be all naked. try not to burn yourself with those candels while your blindfolded :P

Naked?

I was just passing and i saw the word "Naked"

Ahem! Please remember we're a family friendly forum.

well im goin to bed so i will be all naked. try not to burn yourself with those candels while your blindfolded :P

Sure I can't tempt you here?

Ah well, nothing ventured...

Wilf

NOTE: That slim is an example of making a first move, even if it is excessive to prove a point :P

Ahem! Please remember we're a family friendly forum.

tis ok, im talking about sleeping nothing else! :thumbsup:

Ultimately, it's women that makes the first move.
We guys just don't realise it at the time.

Frankly I just cant be arsed with the whole "going on the pull routine" any more. The fact is, if you arent blessed with the greatest of looks, status or wallet capacity, you will struggle to pull a fit bird. Very sad, but very true. And yes, there is the adage "its the personality that counts" but folks, in a club or bar situation where first impressions are all, you arent going to wander over and talk to someone (and visa versa) on the basis they may have a good personality!

Then again, you could adopt the line that one of my mates used a while back on Ecclesall Road.

We were walking down past KFC and six girls were walking the other way. He stopped them and said

"you know, statistically, one of you wants to sleep with me, so which one is it?"

Amazingly, they all laughed. I have seen people lynched for less!!

So is it the consensus of opinion that if a girl doesn't smile and make eye contact with me then she is not interested?

But if she does smile and make some eye comtact then she may be interested and that I am expected to approach her rather tha wait for her to approach me?

Sensible answers please and please keep on topic. This thread is about me asking for i fo about a specific issue. if you want to flirt with each other start your own threads.

...Sensible answers please and please keep on topic. This thread is about me asking for i fo about a specific issue. if you want to flirt with each other start your own threads.
Nice. Where's your sense of humour, Sid? That's the way to go about getting folk to help you out :roll: .

Nice. Where's your sense of humour, Sid? That's the way to go about getting folk to help you out :roll: .

I am not without a sense of humour but this is a subject i treat with upmost seriousness as it is very important to me.

I would be very helpfully if people could answer the specific questions as this wouls give me useful info.:thumbsup:

Over-analysis of any given subject can reduce it to senselessness and thus make all conclusions fruitless.


God did i just type that?

People do answer the question Sid, but when you don't like the answer you just ignore their (often very good!) advice, preferring to think that wasn't the problem and if you just hyper-analyse the situation a little bit more, you'll crack the code of 'how to pull'.

I wonder where you could be going wrong. :rolleyes:

well i think we make the first move is because...... i don't no y XD

we just do but girls probably make the first move. i don't no im single lol

anyone want to date me lol :)

If you ask any of the men I've been out with in the recent past they'll tell you that I'm not backwards at coming forwards (as my grandmother would put it!), but I can tell you that an awful lot of men really don't cope with being approached at all well, and run away and hide from someone they see as a predatory woman (when all I'm doing is acting on an opinion, not being predatory at all).

Thankfully there are men in the world who are fine with the idea that strong, secure women are prepared to take the first step in talking to a man, or asking them out. If there weren't then I guess I'd still be by myself.

The question to ask yourself Slimsid, is whether you'd be comfortable with women making the first move- because that's the logical alternative to men doing it (unless everyone wants to remain single forever). If you wouldn't be comfortable with being approached or chatted up, then you'd better learn to be OK with going over and talking to women.

The question to ask yourself Slimsid, is whether you'd be comfortable with women making the first move- because that's the logical alternative to men doing it (unless everyone wants to remain single forever). If you wouldn't be comfortable with being approached or chatted up, then you'd better learn to be OK with going over and talking to women.

yes, personally I'd be quite comfortable with it and would welcome it. It would make things a lot easier for me. I can't really understand why any man would be uncomfortable with it but then perhaps I'm not normal.

slim stop being such a faggot and go and talk to the women!

Good subtle Birmingham advice that !

jeez...the words 'bullet' and 'head' spring to mind!

jeez...the words 'bullet' and 'head' spring to mind!

Says Mr Make The First Move?

oi. my first moves are incredibly subtle to the naked eye, thats all:)

I can't really understand why any man would be uncomfortable with it but then perhaps I'm not normal.

must resist urge to make witty comment.....

*turns off pc*

So is it the consensus of opinion that if a girl doesn't smile and make eye contact with me then she is not interested?
But if she does smile and make some eye comtact then she may be interested and that I am expected to approach her rather tha wait for her to approach me?
Sensible answers please and please keep on topic. This thread is about me asking for i fo about a specific issue. if you want to flirt with each other start your own threads.

Yes, I'd say that if a girl isn't looking at you, even out of the corner of her eye, then she isn't interested in you. She may or may not smile at you, but if she's not even noticing you then she's not interested.

Most women would wait to be approached because as medusa's mentioned almost all men prefer to be the hunter rather than the prey. Also make sure that the girl's not out of your league in the first place, it's not often that people are interested in someone less attractive than they are. If you're plain, unless you're very popular and have a great personality, which you obviously don't or you wouldn't be asking this stuff all the time, you won't get a "fit bird" interested.

Oh, and don't touch her or tell her she's sexy in the first few minutes, we don't like that sleazy stuff, compliments about clothes, shoes or hair are ok. You'll know if she likes you cos she'll probably touch your arm or chest area whilst chatting, look at you from under her lashes or touch her hair. Of course, she might do the hair thing if she's embarrassed as well. It can be hard to tell at first which it is.

Experience of which you should by now have 20 years teaches you this stuff! But unless you take the plunge and go out and practise you'll never get anywhere.

Sometimes, Sid, I feel I could quite cheerfully throttle you...It really isn't that bloody difficult! Women are great, they're lovely, they're the reason why men exist! ( Apologies to all the gay people of either sex who may be reading!)
Talk, smile. Be yourself - do you know who you are? I do - it's taken me a while to get there , but I do...there's a wealth of good advice from 'old hands' of both sexes here on the Forum. There are so many people out there who are looking to meet someone.

Sometimes, Sid, I feel I could quite cheerfully throttle you...It really isn't that bloody difficult!

Sid, I get the feeling that you reckon there's some sort of hard and fast method to doing this. Like if you say a certain thing and stand a certain way at a certain time then your target female will fall into your arms and you'll win the game. It's not as cut and dried as you're expecting it to be. :roll: I've had enough of giving advice though. It's pointless because you only digest what you want and you don't really have much respect for women anyway.

I've had enough of giving advice though. It's pointless because you only digest what you want and you don't really have much respect for women anyway.

Hear, hear, Pauly ... you've hit the nail on the head here. I reckon he's just playing with us, you know.

*sigh*

I can think of something else that needs a hit on the head. :hihi:

I can think of something else that needs a hit on the head. :hihi:

*turns pc back on and finds out pauly has made the witty remark for me.*

ta :D


sophie
x

I am not without a sense of humour but this is a subject i treat with upmost seriousness as it is very important to me.

Exactly! That's your problem! Stop studying it/analyising it/dissecting it! If you want to find out why you haven't got a woman, read your own posts and they will tell all. It's quite clear that all of the ladies kind enough to offer you advice, often knowing you won't pay a blind bit of notice, would not touch you with a ****** stick. The answer why is right in front of you.

I'm always the one who comes across as harsh here but that's coz I'm fed up of reading your crap. Go out, talk to some girls, even if you don't really want to get anywhere, just talk to them to get used to it. The come back and report. That way people might listen more if they see you're making an effort rather than disregarding the advice they give and coming back a week later with yet more inane toss. :rant:

^^^ Totally agree. It's pretty much what I said on post 3;
Oh do stop going on this not being 'fair', or that not being 'fair' Slim - what in life is fair?!? You're in this world, get used to it or keep shying away from it - your choice.