After reading Satans recent post and her impending plunge into lone parenthood I wondered how many forummers are actually in the same boat.

I am for one.

What are the pros and cons of being a lone parent and do you think you are regarded as different in any way because of your single status?

Based on certain opinions of forummers on here I know some perceive me to be sat at home paying for the BB on state benefits and expecting the world to owe me a living. I know however that other forummers don't have that opinion and are more intelligent than that :)

im a lone parent in the means that i am no longer with the father, i have a partner who cares for him as his own, but i still class myself as a lone parent i guess.

i just sort of got on with it when i was alone, what else could i do? i dislike how im penalised because im not on certain funding schemes catchment areas. i like the fact i can bring my son up how i want, and he behaves in one way for me and another for his dad.

i hate the fact i have no control over how things go at his dads, i.e. his dad drives with him in the car, and will txt and be on the phone to someone!!! and you can tell them until your blue in the face and they just dig their heels in and ignore you.

i also intend to get back to work, and while im sat 'on my arse' at home, im getting on with my studies, and looking into courses and childcare, been a sahm forever would send me nuts!!

i dislike how im penalised because im not on certain funding schemes catchment areas.

Surely the Manor is in the surestart area :confused:

i hate the fact i have no control over how things go at his dads, i.e. his dad drives with him in the car, and will txt and be on the phone to someone!!! and you can tell them until your blue in the face and they just dig their heels in and ignore you.

Mmmmm.. me too. I have got to the position where reasonable discussion is a swear word. In one ear and out the other (much like when we were together! ;) )

i also intend to get back to work, and while im sat 'on my arse' at home, im getting on with my studies, and looking into courses and childcare, been a sahm forever would send me nuts!!

Good for you.:thumbsup:

the side of the road im on is not a surestart area - believe me ive tried lol

im also a lone parent of 4. I find it more difficult now than ever as in the last year my eldest was diagnosed with epilepsy and my youngest with autism this as held me back as i was lookin forward to going back to work but feel my kids need me more than ever, but life goes on and i wouldnt change it for the world! apart from if i could cure them obviously.

i think that looking after kids is a job in itself anyway. i hate these people that dont have kids and think its the easiest thing in the world, they dont know how psychically and emotionally draining it is!

i have someone coming to see me today about a training course that i need funding for, we are filling in the form to apply for the money.

Ahh Jena, stand back and wait for some numpty to start slating you. You must have your hands full with four! :o

and yes laura if only they knew. I have to make all the decisions for my children, if they don't like what I say I don't have anyone there to tag team with to get a break its exhausting.

Ahh Jena, stand back and wait for some numpty to start slating you. You must have your hands full with four! :o
yes i know im not bothered what people say tho i gave up on that a long time ago ;)

how on earth anyone can begrudge a parent to stay at home with their children, especially ones with illnesses and disabilities is beyond me.

exactly! i will do whats best for my children no matter what anyone thinks of me i couldnt care less to be honest:thumbsup:

Laura get with the programme! ;)

Single mother = chavy estate dwelling baby factory, happy to live on benefits and let everyone else pay your way. :rolleyes: Whereas its all the mums fault for having children in the first place, nothing to do with the father who can go on their merry way living their life as if nothing has changed.

tut tut...

I was a lone parent since my children were 3 & 5 (they are now 21 & 23) and also for a lot of the time before that on and off, for me it was a very hard time in every way, not helped by the huge amount of predjudice that is out there at all on many levels, even down to being offered the worst possible housing in the worst kind of places.
Having said that i have also been always very close to my sons, and i believe that i gave them a lot more attention than i could have if i had a partner, we did exactly as we liked and had loads of fun together, i did my very best, and they are 2 lovely( and responsible ) men .
I hate the way that single parents are stereotyped as benefit scroungers, only wanting a council house (has anyone seen the state of most council houses these days :hihi: ) and the way its took for granted that every child has a different father :rant: .
These men and women are doing a difficult job, the work of 2 people and bringing up the people of the future, they need help and friendship not condemnation and victimisation.

I'm a single mum too and to be honest, I much prefer it that way. I work part time and don't see myself as a sponger at all. I needn't work as I am also classed as a carer as my son has a multiple diagnosis, but I want to work.

I manage perfectly well on my own and don't see why society should make me feel guilty for being a single parent. I would much rather be on my own than in an abusive or unsuitable relationship where no-one, including my children are happy. My kids don't suffer at all from only having one parent. I have more than enough love to compensate :)

One thing that does irk me is the fact that everyone seems to think that being a lone parent is sort of a relationship service station. A break from the normal family unit.

My dear mother (love you lots mum!) worries about me being single. I am told regularly that its time I found myself a 'nice young man' I have been on my own long enough.

lol - Oh if it was that easy :rolleyes:

Anyone else have this problem?

in the days of yore, that would have been impossible, and how many women went through the anguish of hiding a child etc. but these days, it doesnt matter, and shouldnt matter if you have kids. i found a really nice man, he is roman catholic and so it did take a period of adjustment but we got there, and loves my son.

so it is possible.

Hiya fox
Have exactly the same problem! Ive got a good job, on a pretty good salary, financially independent, do what I like, have hols and yet she still nags! Even offered to ask one of her neighbours to take me out on a date!!! Apparently he has his own business, sports car but lives at home with his mum at age 45+ has bad acne and personality of deadfish! I might be single but im not desperate!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

when i split up with my wife my two daughters came to live with me and i loved every minute . chin up and go for iythey were 11 and 15 don't get me wrong it was a right rollercoaster at times but wouldnt have missed it for anything

One thing that does irk me is the fact that everyone seems to think that being a lone parent is sort of a relationship service station. A break from the normal family unit.

My dear mother (love you lots mum!) worries about me being single. I am told regularly that its time I found myself a 'nice young man' I have been on my own long enough.

lol - Oh if it was that easy :rolleyes:

Anyone else have this problem?


My mum says the same. I been single now 3ys from my last x, and to be honest i love it the way it is. I love been with my daughter (even tho she away this week in summer camp :( ). But my mum was a single mother when her and my dad split up, and she now re-married 9ys ago and tells me there are plenty of men out there that will love you, and they not all (swear word goes hear) like your past x's.

But yes i also got slated for been a single mother. i have been one for 10ys now from my daughter father as she now 11, and i use to get the looks and comment. but it's never the blokes falt is it for the break up of the family, as i tell everyone, if ive got a child or not they no way i forgive anyone cheating on me. I dont get why the father of the children never get blame, they seem to get points in a way and praise for bringing a child into the world.

I think the media uses 'single parent' as a negative too often. I believe that nowadays it doesn't matter whether you're single or part of a couple, as long as you are a responsible parent, and in some ways it could be easier not having to compromise with a partner. In other ways though, it must be hard being a sole carer, no one to share the hard work with!

I do wonder though at the thought processes of people, whether single or in couples who continue to have children even though there is no source of income other than benefits.

I do wonder though at the thought processes of people, whether single or in couples who continue to have children even though there is no source of income other than benefits.

I'm sure thinking doesn't come into in when they are performing the act Macbeth. TBH if for any reason I accidentally found myself in that position being single I would have to have the baby. Consequently I would be out of the job for a period of time and hopeful I would still be able to return to work. It doesnt always work out like that for some people though.

I'm sure thinking doesn't come into in when they are performing the act Macbeth. TBH if for any reason I accidentally found myself in that position being single I would have to have the baby. Consequently I would be out of the job for a period of time and hopeful I would still be able to return to work. It doesnt always work out like that for some people though.

I do understand what you're saying, although I did say 'continue to have children' not 'have a child'. Limiting the number of kids you have isn't rocket science these days. I feel responsible parenting doesn't just start after a child is born, perhaps education before the 'act' could prepare people better!

I do understand what you're saying, although I did say 'continue to have children' not 'have a child'. Limiting the number of kids you have isn't rocket science these days. I feel responsible parenting doesn't just start after a child is born, perhaps education before the 'act' could prepare people better!

You misunderstood Macbeth. I am already a lone parent of 2 sons, so another child would be a continuation. If I were to, for some unfortunate (and lets be honest miraculous - :P ) position to find myself pregnant I would have the baby knowing full well I'm alone.

I have nothing but the upmost respect for all of you - I wish my daughter could be with me rather than just visiting at weekends but I really know what a hard job it is.

Keep up the good work and don't listen to the morons that try to put you down.

i think the single ladeeees on here most certainly don't fit into the media steroetypes.
firstly because you all appear to care about your children.
the "hated" single personna, is that of inruly,uncontrollable children ,who are then identified with some traumatic syndrome which puts the burden of responsibility on everyone but the parent.

i'm fortunate ny daughters 21 - so i don't think i fall into the category now.
good luck to all of you.

who wants to go to White Post Farm?? boy do i miss that place.

It seems that nothing changes having read this thread several times. I was a single parent, from when my kids were about 7 and 8. Having said that, being married to a serviceman meant I was almost one even before we split up.
I worked for a time and they were classed as being latch-key kids.
I went on the social and then I was classed as a scrounger.
One day, when I was getting a bit exasperated with them my daughter said to me that I was always shouting at them.....no I don't I said. Yes you do,she said, you shout at us in a morning to get up and get ready for school, then you shout at us when you come home from work to get ready for bed.....She really meant it and you know what, she was right.
That's one of the occasions when I packed in my job.
Then, in the papers it was all that kids from broken homes are the least likely to get on in life and would be wasters and criminals etc.
Well it's a standing joke now that when they were growing up, I ran a tight ship...:hihi: I suppose I did in a way..when theres two parents and one says no, don't they usually to go the other one in the hope that they will say yes.?
When I said no I had to say and MEAN no for two people.
Anyway, it's all been worth it. I am proud of them both in how they have turned out. One is a legal secretary working in a court in Luxembourg and the other teaches English and Ninjutsu and lives in Japan...
When I split from their dad I swore that I would provide my kids and myself with as good, if not better life than if I'd stayed with him....
I did and good luck to you all. :)