Dear All,

I read JoePritchard's comment under the Life Changing Experiences topic (an excellent discussion topic I thought) where he said that in his opinion "You must consume and aquire to be happy" is one big lie. Joe is wise I think!

I totally agree - this is the biggest lie. The truth is we must consume and aquire to make sure the machines keep turning and salaries get paid. In otherwords, our governors want us to consume and aquire to keep everything hunky dory. Hence the adverts for the new model, the prettier hair, the tastier meal, the ultimate holiday etc etc. Consuming and aquiring keep things going - tell us it'll make us happier and we'll keep on doing it (and irronically we become unhappy as the radio breaks, next door gets a better car, the team shirt is outdated....).

ANYWAY - the main point of this rant...

What do others think is the biggest of the lies?

Striver

I thought of another whopper:

"Schooldays are the best days of your life"

Striver

ermm:confused: not sure, what about everything?

"Now this wont hurt at all..."

possibly religion:(
especially after FF's little girl's running with it.

Taking a small child on a long, long walk through the Derbyshire Dales....

"Was that an ice cream van I heard? Round the next bend I think..."

Striver

LOL! Yes, I've been fed the "just round the next corner" stinker many a time!! But still we fall for it!!

I really respect you as a woman

Accountants

Weather forecasters

Lucky Bags

Tony Blair

:rolleyes:

Biggest lies.

1. PMT
2. Child Birth is the most painful thing in the world
3. WMD
4. Religion
5. New Labour's 1997 Manifesto

Artists impressions

glue

subbuteo

Its not you..it's me.

Originally posted by Wavey
Accountants

Weather forecasters

Lucky Bags

Oi ! Not all accountants tell porky pies!

The biggest lie I've heard this week is "the cheque is in the post"

Your taxi will be there in 5 minutes!!

LOL

Nothing personal Beckb.. my complete inability to fathom the workings of accountancy/tax/VAT/banks/mortgages etc etc leads me to think I'm having my leg lifted at any given meeting

Thanks Striver, for the nice words!

Whenever I get really cynical, I have to resort to :

The cheque's in the post.

When in Dilbert mode, it has to be :

People are our greatest assets.

:-)

One size fits all.
Striver

This hurts me a lot more than it does you!

Pensions

Endowment Mortgages

Fair grounds

I can get into a size 12 jeans

"god loves you"

size doesn't matter

A personal favorite of mine is when I had to get a Sky aerial bloke out because I had lost my signal only to be told that the reason for my loss in picture was that the branches of a tree far away in the distance ( and we are talking a good half mile) was preventing a clear sight line to the satellite. I obviously informed him that for the previous 5 years I have had Sky and the previous many years or so the tree had been there that I had never encountered a problem. I also questioned just how much the tree had grown overnight as I had a lovely signal before...cue lots of excuses and b/s from the aerial man...:loopy:

Oh and he wanted to charge me £150 for a booster bit or summat as a result of this giant, quick growing tree..needless to say I asked him to kindly never grace my doorstep again

one careful owner

Blackpool

The English Riviera

Have a nice day

1....Beckham's a star footballer.

2....Don't worry dear.....

3....Chef's special.

4....You're an asset to the company.

'I'm not a racist/sexist/etc, but.....'

Should just skip out the but and not.

Religion and political campaign promises.

Politics speaks for itself and religion is in my opinion very Dark Ages. Just my opinion.

(1) ' I promise not to c*m in your mouth'

(2) 'The cheques in the post'

(3) Madonna saying 'Ouch!' on her wedding night.

Originally posted by Lestat
(1) ' I promise not to c*m in your mouth'

(2) 'The cheques in the post'

(3) Madonna saying 'Ouch!' on her wedding night.

Interesting :lol: although your number 2 is a particularly annoying one. Makes you want to take a special visit doesn't it. :twisted:

Can't believe noone else has come up with it..


I love you!

Iraq has wmd's....

1) It's not you - it's me.

2) I love you and no-one else

and the biggest lie of all..

3) look's aren't important to me (although when I say it it's true obviously! ;) )

Craig

Originally posted by 1Man&hisBMW
Iraq has wmd's....

"It's not about oil"
"There was no approval of torture"
"It's not about regime change"
"Iraq was complicit in 9/11 attacks"
"Afghanistan is now a stable democracy"
"The war in Iraq was part of the ongoing war on terrorism"

etc, ad nauseam.

One nation tory

"I will never stand again for the leadership of the Conservative Party" - Michael Howard Nov 2002

As an aside, is "tory lie" a tautology?

Originally posted by max
As an aside, is "tory lie" a tautology?
no, it might be tautology to assert that "tories lie" though.(iirc)

Everythin that comes out of my gob.....or am i lyin?

Originally posted by Phanerothyme
no, it might be tautology to assert that "tories lie" though.(iirc)

Perhaps I should have said "tory liar" is a tautology.

"Thank you for calling us. We are sorry that you are having to wait. We do value your custom. One of our operators will answer your call shortly"

There's at least 3 whoppers in that one.

everything that comes from tony blair and george bushe's mouths.

The biggest lie of all times is... FREE!

"I really like you, your beautiful, hic. Come back to my house so we can chat all night"

01:50 in any night club in the country

From the 'cold caller' on the line,

"Im not selling anything"

"We're offering to save you money"

"You have been selected for a free ****** "

As my 10 year old say's " What ever!"

P.S. for those of you that are plagued by these pest's search on the net for the Telephone Peference Society. It took me two minutes to enter my details and within a month the calls have all but stopped.

"We are asked now seriously to accept that in the last few years-contrary to all history, contrary to all intelligence-Saddam decided unilaterally to destroy those weapons. I say that such a claim is palpably absurd." Blair

"The Iraq Survey Group has already found massive evidence of a huge system of clandestine laboratories, workings by scientists, plans to develop long range ballistic missiles." Blair


Our intelligence officials estimate that Saddam Hussein had the materials to produce as much as 500 tons of sarin, mustard, and VX nerve agent…. The British government has learned that Saddam Hussein recently sought significant quantities of uranium from Africa. .. Bush

Right now, Iraq is expanding and improving facilities that were used for the production of biological weapons. ..Bush

We have sources that tell us that Saddam Hussein recently authorized Iraqi field commanders to use chemical weapons - the very weapons the dictator tells us he does not have. .. Bush

How about - 'reality TV'???

'Of course it's the biggest I've seen'...

Originally posted by jackthedog
'Of course it's the biggest I've seen'...

<macho BS>

Well it MAY be a lie for you

</macho BS>

:D :D :D

the biggest lie ever told is the fact that our soldiers have fought wars, from world wars to single day wars, but they were told they were fighting for FREEDOM.

Well, i was told we'd won the war... obviously not.