I just wanted to gauge opinion here, does anyone else find adverts side-splittingly funny when the subject matter is supposed to be deadly serious? I'm not talking ads for charities or awful and deadly afflictions here...I mean the adverts that are so full of their own pomposity that you have to laugh at them.

Ads like the hatchet-faced woman tearing into the lawyer in the case of "Claims Lawyers 4 U" or the one where the big fat solicitor wobbles his jowels whilst telling his potential customers not to worry, reassuring them that come the day of their trial his attention will be focused on the matter at hand rather than on the contents of his packed lunch.

My personal favourite has to be the Ocean Finance adverts, with the bizarre and worrying members of the public who endorse the company. The man who claims the previous ad's use of "normal" people made him seek them out. The obese woman who looks as though she's been stuck in the same chair for a year. And best of all the woman who proclaims that Ocean Finance:

"Tell you what you need to know, they don't babble you with science...or whatever."

Presumably being babbled with "science" means being told that you owe a ****-load of money at a criplling rate of interest...

Which of these nuggets of smelly brown gold are your favourites?

Or do you have your own suggestions?

surely any of those bloody esure ads with Michael effin Winner should be on this poll? Absolutely, resolutely unfunny.

"Relax dear, its a commercial" Ferchrissakes.

Just thought of another (hence the edit). Can't remember the exact company, but its an insurance firm. its the one where a woman answers the phone in an office and then we travel into her brain and some Charlies Angels type people all somersault into action. Anyone know which one i mean? Does my head in.

For me it's the vacant look on the face of the woman in the Charlie's Angels rip-off that does it..."Now let's show him what else we can do" Look, I'll pay you not to, how's that sound?

Carmine - very much enjoyed reading your opening post! :thumbsup: made me chuckle

i've nothing to add at the minute mind!

verering slightly off topic but i find the Orange adverts that they show at the cinema wearing a bit thin now -
the first one was class where he mimicked swaying a lightsabre(?) but downhill since there me thinks

Originally posted by Bedhead
Carmine - very much enjoyed reading your opening post! :thumbsup: made me chuckle

i've nothing to add at the minute mind!

It's good to know I'm not the only one.

"Come join me in the comedy of hate, it's the newest thing."
-Bill Hicks

More ironic than funny is the insurance ad - Quote me Happy.
Since when did an insurance company make anyone happy. Oh sure, they stuffed everyone with the endowment and pension scandals but that didn't leave us with much to smile about.

Originally posted by Cols
More ironic than funny is the insurance ad - Quote me Happy.
Since when did an insurance company make anyone happy. Oh sure, they stuffed everyone with the endowment and pension scandals but that didn't leave us with much to smile about.

My favourite of these was the one where you see the employees at the call centre, and one comments: "I think she's happy" as a delighted customer squeals down the line. I worked in a call centre and can tell you that the next words out of the guy's mouth were: "I wish I was...pass the suicide pills."

I would like to add the cringing post and pre programme minor celebrity posturing ITV have adopted.

You know what I'm talking about, just before some mindless soap ITV has a 'celeb' or two posing and smirking at their own self-importance, thinking they've made it. They are usually in front of a yellow and blue background with bland muzak on in the background.

The most cringe worthy is the ones with those two Geordie bells, Ant and Dec. I remember them from the Byker Groove and still haven't decided which one I would shoot if I only had one bullet left. Perhaps I would have to pistol whip Dec that would be more satisfying.

Amarno Ianucci "Even Gandhi hated Geordies"

I imagine Gandhi held that view.

I'd like to bring up the subject of "Carcraft" again in relation to this topic.....another one for the black book!

And what hair preparation is it where this hideous American woman intones "because I'm worth it" ??? Definately that one....pass the sick bag! What a self centred .........!

Originally posted by Ned Ludd
I'd like to bring up the subject of "Carcraft" again in relation to this topic.....another one for the black book!

And what hair preparation is it where this hideous American woman intones "because I'm worth it" ??? Definately that one....pass the sick bag! What a self centred .........!

I mean, split the sides as I heave up !!

I HATE those adverts for a sofa company with idiotic women gesturing in an air hostess fashion at THE ugliest sofas known to man while another woman (dressed in early 90's fashion) drapes herself across it.

Originally posted by caz2
I HATE those adverts for a sofa company with idiotic women gesturing in an air hostess fashion at THE ugliest sofas known to man while another woman (dressed in early 90's fashion) drapes herself across it.

do you mean the linda barker ads?



i must admit that at our company we often walk around and greet each other with a thumbsup and shout 'BUDGET' i mean we're all really inspired by the fact that this advert seems to use 'real' people (i think i got the right advert there?!)

Did anyone see the ****-take of Linda Barker on Dead ringers? Hilarious - they faked her appearing in store on some unsuspecting yokels... "Hi! I'm linda barker, and I was just sitting at home when I suddenly felt the urge to come and endorse some sofas"... laughed my ass off!!

I too hate all the awful debt consolidation and credit card adverts. The government keep on moaning about how everyone in this country is in so much debt - well why dont they ban these stupid adverts then?
And i hate all the bloody injury lawyers 4 U adverts. "Have you been injured at work or on the street, and it wasn't your fault??" Every day people get injured, but the vast majority just pick up their severed finger, staple it back on to the bloody stump, and get on with making burgers. All these adverts are doing is making us into a nation of moaners, and soon we'll be as sue-happy as the bloody Americans, then where will we be?
*rant over!!* :)

Well first of all thank you! I'm feeling really ill and I've just spent the last 5 minutes laughing!

But...sadly you have all failed to mention...

THE 'YES CAR CREDIT' WOMAN!!!

Not only is she an even more annoying version of Claire from Steps, she seems to be made of wood...judging by her acting skills. See item A:

"Can I get a low cost loan at my convenience?"
"YES! YOU COULD!"
"And could I get it for any number of pointless, self centred, green and yellow reasons?"
"YES! OF COURSE YOU COULD!"

She die now.

Come to think of it, has anyone, anyone at all seen the advert for a BBC foreign language video called 'Muzzy'?

They've changed it recently to a cleaned up, modernized commercial, but until about 2 months ago, an elderly woman would come on the screen talking about 'the great gift of a language', then we see a clip of this 'revolutionary' system, which turns out to be a very low quality cartoon series focussing on a fat bear thing called Muzzy.

Then two children....apaprently not actors....who were sitting on front of a TV, whilst watching the video, literally shouted:

"BONJOUR!!!!!"
"SALUT!!!"
"JE M'APPELLE GOSSE ENNUYANT STUPIDE!!"
"FERMEZ VOTRE BOUCHE VOUS PETIT CRAPAUD STUPIDE!"

etc. And then this wobbly blue screen, a la shopping channels, came up, with the 'amazing special offer' on, and the voice over, which was the most hilarious, because the recording had some kind of problem that had somehow made it through tests. The man's voice went from very L O W to veryhighpitchedandfast, and kept changing between them.

Here's a link to Muzzy's official website: http://www.early-advantage.co.uk/

Well, imo, most adverts are rubbish - especially the insaurace ones! Not that i wwatch tv. The lst programme i think i watched was grek dyke doing news for you! ages ago. don't know why i have a tv"

never watch it. it's broken anyway!

Originally posted by Carmine
I"Tell you what you need to know, they don't babble you with science...or whatever."

Presumably being babbled with "science" means being told that you owe a ****-load of money at a criplling rate of interest...



Surely the expression you are looking for is "baffle you with science..." ? Although funnily enough your malapropism is somehow quite appropriate.

Originally posted by noseyrosie
Then two children....apaprently not actors....who were sitting on front of a TV, whilst watching the video, literally shouted:

"BONJOUR!!!!!"
"SALUT!!!"
"JE M'APPELLE GOSSE ENNUYANT STUPIDE!!"
"FERMEZ VOTRE BOUCHE VOUS PETIT CRAPAUD STUPIDE!"

etc...

ROTFLMAO!!! (Have you ever read the 'Molesworth' books???)

A personal favorite of mine is.

"I've got the right"
"I've got the right"

The camera jumps to a..and I'll use the term loosely..mechanic who can is very good at turning a ratchet spanner round and round for a minute before spouting in some Manc tone...."Regency mortage corporation specialise...blah blah blah"
Say the above words in your best Liam Gallagher accent and you'll see what I mean

Originally posted by mojoworking
Surely the expression you are looking for is "baffle you with science..." ? Although funnily enough your malapropism is somehow quite appropriate.

There is no hint of irony or error on my part, I'm afraid...that's a direct quote from the woman on the damn advert. Just watch the Ocean Finance ad with the immense woman who utters those very words along with other gems such as:

"It was like a great weight was lifted..."

Coming from a person of that size, such words are very amusing to our jaded ears.

I have just seen a new hilarious one (On ITV1 London) - cruel - but hilarious. A waitress is taking a food out of what clearly is a restauraunt kitchen and she's about to go out of the door and slips over.

"Have you had an acciedent at home or at work"? "Not your fault, you can make a claim-if you don't win, you don't pay us a penny"!! :P :thumbsup:

"Because I'm worth it." Who bloody says so?
"For hair three times smoother." Three 'whats' times smoother than what?
"Lasts up to four weeks." So any time between NOW and 4 weeks then!
"For smoother, younger looking skin." Yes, on the 18 year old model!
"The 3-blade razor from Gillette." And three times the chance of bleeding to death!
"The new JML hair trimmer." Shove it up your nose, then in your ear, then around your privates and finally.........trim those awkward hairs around someone else's upper lip.
"Revlon, for lashes that look as good as false ones." What?!!!! Hope to God they don't come up with a hair-care product that..."..is so good it makes your hair look like a wig."

And a million more.
:loopy:

What about the 'animal cruelty' one?

Who put the old black dog in a muddy puddle then sprayed it with gallons of 'rain' water? Doesn't it look as though it's enjoying itself!

Then the dog that's cowering behind a sofa, obviously scared stiff.

I know you can train dogs to do a lot of things, but believing that these dogs aren't really stressed is stretching it a bit.

Maybe footage of REAL cruelty cases would have been a bit more reasonable instead of stressing animals to prove a point.

Originally posted by Carmine
My personal favourite has to be the Ocean Finance adverts, with the bizarre and worrying members of the public who endorse the company.

One of the blokes on their ads says: "I went to Ocean Finance and condolidated all my debts. I even had enough left over for a holiday"

If you had money left over that means you borrowed too much, fool!

I hate the Wimbledon 2004 ad, with John Macanroe (sp?) and the terrible actor playing a hollywood director. Its just the worst way imaginable to sell a very dull sport i beleive.

Chris.

The latest DFS advert made my laugh, they show scenes of old dumped sofa's like in a canal or a footie pitch, under a bypass etc, then at the bottom of the screen is a message "please dispose of your old sofa carefully" or some thing like, then it shows a young couple romping about on a brand new DFS sofa. IMO the brand new sofa looks far worse than those they showed that had been dumped !

The Think! adverts tick me off. Speeding is NOT the only contributor to deaths and injuries, I wish they'd stop brainwashing us with this needless scaremongering, which has spread to all the available media engines.

Drink-Driving (which Think! also covers - I think!) needs more coverage, not just at xmas time.

I really hate those stupid ringtone adverts what are always on MTV and other music channels.They just play the same crap advert for there crap ringtones over and over,the same one will be on about 3-4 times in the same ad break!!

I also hate any macdonalds advert. JT says he's loving it,i say i'm loathing it.

Originally posted by mega_monty
The latest DFS advert made my laugh, they show scenes of old dumped sofa's like in a canal or a footie pitch, under a bypass etc, then at the bottom of the screen is a message "please dispose of your old sofa carefully" or some thing like, then it shows a young couple romping about on a brand new DFS sofa. IMO the brand new sofa looks far worse than those they showed that had been dumped !

I saw that yesterday. I'm guessing that TSA made them put the 'please dispose of your old sofa carefully' bit on.

Originally posted by mr craig
I also hate any macdonalds advert. JT says he's loving it,i say i'm loathing it.

I'm Lovin it? I'm talkin' S**T more like

I personally love to hate the Babe Radar adverts that are on late at night. Me and my partner always cheer when they come on the tv. The girls are so plastic and disgusting, and the camera is always WAAAAY too close to their orange faces. Yuck!!!!

Those Ringtone adverts are driving me MAD!!!

That Glade(?) airfreshener ad with the little oriental kid on the toilet holding his nose, going "poooo".

You want to sell it to me?

Show a 20 stone, beer-gutted lorry driver who's just dumped last night's 12 lagers and a vindaloo. Then convince me the Glade worked.

THEN, and only then, I might buy one.:P

Originally posted by Andy
One of the blokes on their ads says: "I went to Ocean Finance and condolidated all my debts. I even had enough left over for a holiday"

If you had money left over that means you borrowed too much, fool!

This is a point that occured to me after seeing the same ad, surely you'd be careful to only borrow the amount you needed to pay off the debts rather than taking a lump o'cash and paying far more in repayments while you spend even more money that you don't have on holiday?!?

My girlfriend likes the new Trojan condoms advert.

She keeps saying 'ooh you should get some'.

The power of advertising.

As Bill Hicks noted:

"The supreme court defines pornography as anything that had no artistic merit and causes sexual thoughts...sounds like every most adverts to me..."

How about the one for the bottled water where a woman in a flimsy white dress gets into a lift and is drenched as she drinks the water...I'd be willing to bet that the ad was concocted by a bloke.

Also, please could someone save me from the CGI hippo in the sumo nappy that dances on the damn ringtone ad?

Has anyone seen the new Lipton Iced Tea ad. The au naturel and the fart in the lift - really funny

I think those Tango ads are really weird - esp. the one where the bloke is taped to a ceiling, waiting for the vibration of the train to unstick him, so he falls into the bath of apple juice... i think he would more likely be dead if he fell that far!

The new set of 'relax, its a commercial' ones are even worse - where the guy is standing in front of a stately home, with a dippy woman following him around going 'i'm not your sister' (sister company) and then stands there waving a sign, grinning manically.

the cheesest one at the mo is that gillette one - the one in black + white, with famous people and the voice over saying 'its the moment when you feel you are the greatest' or something slushy, and them saying when you shave with gillette, you feel like that all the time... blergh

Want a car on finance?

Had a trip or a fall? we can get compensation for you...

Want cheap car insurance.....

Why not consoldate all your debts with one easliy mangable monthly payment

It duz your head in everyday especaily on Satalite/cable channels in the daytime.....they dont stop even on Christmas Day!
I just wanna watch tele not get a lower APR on mi credit card.


Wheres all the biscuit Ads?

A few ads are really testing my patience at the moment and they are:

Herbal Essence Shampoo - the narrator's voice is so annoying!!!

Tampax - surely they don't expect us to believe that once women wear their product that they will become totally unaware of the big 'P'.

McDonalds and KFC - so false it hurts!!

Although, I have to admit to enjoying the Tango ads and I wish other ads would be a bit more outrageous with their approach.

Haven't seen it for a year or so now, but I'm stil wondering how Mr. Beaver gets his teeth so sparkly clean. I'm sure it wasn't just the Colgate. (Or was it Colgate? I forget.)

McDonalds... eugh. Just when I thought their ads couldn't get any worse, they... I'm not even going to bring myself to type what I was going to type there.

I like how it took L'Oreal several years to realise that "Because you're worth it!" sounds better than "Because I'm worth it!". Only a bit though. If you want a good laugh try and catch Michael Schumacher doing a L'Oreal advert next time you watch German TV. Such a great, well-rounded person and possibly the greatest car racer of all time shouldn't be degrading himself like this...

Originally posted by PuressenceUK
My girlfriend likes the new Trojan condoms advert.
One of the main focal points of the story of Troy is that lots of men hid inside something and burst out to kill everyone - not the best advert for condoms really is it?

Chris.

Originally posted by Chris_Sleeps
One of the main focal points of the story of Troy is that lots of men hid inside something and burst out to kill everyone - not the best advert for condoms really is it?

Chris.

Could Trojan condoms be an effort on the part of the US pro-life movement? A contraceptive that allows the sperm to hide away and then burst forth just when everyone least expects it?

Since there's a new thread about how much we all hate adverts doing the rounds, I thought I'd bring this one back from the depths...like the turd that just won't flush...or that prat from the Halifax adverts.