I recently found out by DNA testing that the daughter I thought was mine is actually someone else's. She is 5 years old and I last saw her when she was 3.
I'm setting up a website as a way of saying goodbye to her and telling her that i still love her and i will always be her daddy if she wants me.

I'm looking for an appropriate song to play in the background of the website.

Would love some suggestions.

Thanks :)

You make me cry.

Whitney Houston - i will always love you.
Shakira - wherever, whenever

You are my sunshine my only sunshine - is more child orientated.

What was the song at number 1 the day that your daughter was born?

can you remeber any songs that she sang? My little one is just three and sings pop songs - i remember songs from when i was small so chances are she might still remember certain songs too.

not sure about the lyrics being suitable for a 5 year old - youd probably have to check the words on all these songs for appropriatness but the key words have the meaning.

I am sorry i can't think of anything else just this minute but will keep on thinking.

babs x

awww thats lovely jpbcouriers, even though your not her blood father, she will always know you are her "daddy" and sometimes that means more than blood-relation!!!

:) xxxx

I'm trying to make it so lots of people from halifax see it and see just what this woman has done.

EDIT: Scrap that song, doesn't suit the situation!

Prodigy - Smack my bitch up?
Eminem - 97' Bonny & Clyde?
Kid Creola - Annie, im not your daddy

I would still stay in her life jpbcouriers...just because your not blood it doesnt mean to say you have to end contact with her. Im sure in years to come she will look upon you as her dad anyway. x

how about changes by kelly and ozzy
big hugs to you , the man i think of as my dad isnt my biological one but i dont think any less of him.
xxxxxxx[Kelly:]
I feel unhappy
I am so sad
I lost the best friend
That I've ever had

[Ozzy:]
She is my baby
I love her so
But it's to late now
I've let her go

[Both:]
We're going through changes (ohh - [chorus])
We're going through changes (ahh - [chorus])

[Kelly:]
We've shared the years
We've shared each day
I love you daddy
But I found my way

[Ozzy:]
You know the world
Is an evil place
My baby is grown now
She's found her way

[Both:]
(ohh ahh - [Chorus])
We're going through changes (ohh - [chorus])
We're going through changes (ohh - [chorus])
(ahh - [Chorus])

[Kelly:]
It took so long
To realize
I can still hear
His last goodbyes

[Ozzy:]
Now all my days
Are filled in fears
Wish I could go back
And change the years

[Both:]
We're going through changes
We're going through changes (changes - [Chorus])
We're going through... Changes

[Both:]
Changes
Changes
Changes...

I'm trying to make it so lots of people from halifax see it and see just what this woman has done.

I really do sypathise with how you feel, but think perhaps you should stick to the reasons you give in your initial posting for setting up this web-site, rather than the above.

I would still stay in her life jpbcouriers...just because your not blood it doesnt mean to say you have to end contact with her. Im sure in years to come she will look upon you as her dad anyway. x

Well i start contact with my son Jordan at the end of this month she has no say in that. But she is detirmined that i will never see Caitlin again. But according to cafcass that is not up to her either its all depends on the cafcass report and the judge. So fingers crossed.

I really do sypathise with how you feel, but think perhaps you should stick to the reasons you give in your initial posting for setting up this web-site, rather than the above.

Yes but her being 5 the only way she is going to see it is if i target lots of people in halifax and maybe it will get to her somehow.

i hope that you don't mind me saying this and i do understand your feelings of hate towards this women but for your daughter - the site is a beautiful idea but do it just for your daughter and not to get at your ex wife - she isn't worth it - do it for this little girl and for the sole purpose it is intended - if you attach the hate factor to it you might regret it be it just in your own mind.

sorry if this is out of line.

babs

Although I think this is a lovely idea, do you really think your daughter will appreciate it in years to come that you used her to get to her mother??

I thought it was a lovely idea until your last post. Just think carefully about it, you shouldn't use her to get to your ex and it could even cause problems in her future relationship with her mother which, no matter what her mother has done, isn't fair on your daughter.

Ok everyone. im not doing it to get at her mother im simply doing it to say goodbye to her. something that will be there untill the day she see's it. as i said earlier i need to target other people so the word gets around.

aye....make a nice website for your (daughter) to say bye.....




...then create a nasty one for the mother with any dirty pictures yuo might have....better yet, photocopy the and pass THEM round halifax!!!

Ok everyone. im not doing it to get at her mother im simply doing it to say goodbye to her. something that will be there untill the day she see's it. as i said earlier i need to target other people so the word gets around.

Perhaps rethink your method then?? Could you not just make her a video and give it to someone you trust to give it to her when she's old enough to understand?

If you need a lot of the public to get her to see it, then surely it's not really the right way to go about it?

Don't get me wrong, it's a lovely idea but is the context really the right one?

aye....make a nice website for your (daughter) to say bye.....




...then create a nasty one for the mother with any dirty pictures yuo might have....better yet, photocopy the and pass THEM round halifax!!!

Iv'e done enough to hurt her, I'm getting on with my life now with my fiancee and 2 sons.

actually this might not be a good idea, everyone in halifax will then know that this kid had family troubles growing up - and everyone will know her for this, and may even give her grief, would you want that?

Perhaps rethink your method then?? Could you not just make her a video and give it to someone you trust to give it to her when she's old enough to understand?

If you need a lot of the public to get her to see it, then surely it's not really the right way to go about it?

Don't get me wrong, it's a lovely idea but is the context really the right one?

In my opinion yes. Iv'e tried passing things onto her for the past 2 years and everything has gone in the bin. Including over £400 worth of birthday presents last year.

actually this might not be a good idea, everyone in halifax will then know that this kid had family troubles growing up - and everyone will know her for this, and may even give her grief, would you want that?

Obviously i will not be pointing fingers or posting pictures but she will know its for her.

Hi, we have dealt with cafcass - they are very much in the view of what is best for the child and not the parents - unfortunately they are guided by what they see at the time and in our situation actually didn't make the best decision for the child in question but then they had no idea what the outcome of this situation would be.

Any dealings with them from you needs to emphasise on what you feel is best for caitlin, avoid slagging her mother at any expense, you would have to convince them that your relationship with this little girl will be one that lasts for ever - your insistance that you are her daddy and as far as i can see you are her daddy - i always say about my step child, i may not have given birth to her but i am her mummy.

I can also say that cafcass are very fair to fathers - its a shame that there has been a broken bond for this past two years - do you have evidence that you have attempted to maintain a relationship - that being an indirect relationship with caitlin - birthday cards, gifts etc.

Thinking about it now- if you are in the process of gaining access, is the website appropriate? Can you imagine your ex handing it to cafcass if it contains anything that suggests you are saying good bye to her? If you are wanting contact then doing anything to rattle your ex at this stage is not such a good idea.

Thanks to cafcass my husband and i took parental responsibility and custody of his daughter and her mother lost all rights - in hindsight it was the wrong thing for the child but you are merely seeking contact and that is admirable.

Do what you have to do for caitlin just now - if you are doing a massive hate thing for the mother you will not do yourself any favours at this stage. lets just say that during our court case, the mother slamming us through the papers, making false accusations of drug abuse, alcoholic tendancies and abuse did not work in her favour - Caitlin can never know about the hatred that you have for her mother, in time it will alienate any relationship that you might have with her - i am seeing it here and it isn't fair on the children - no matter how hard it is to seperate the two you just have to try.

Your thoughts and feelings are very much understood though and i can almsot feel the anger for you.

good luck

babs

Obviously i will not be pointing fingers or posting pictures but she will know its for her.

thats fair enough then, because at the end of the day you dont want to make her upbringing any harder.

Ok, make the video, write letters, keep on buying the cards and stick the birtday cash in a bank account - one day she will be old enough to take them from you without her mother - one day she will know how much you loved her and how much you wanted her -

you could ask her school if they are willing to send you school reports - i'd also think that this is a worthwhile thing to discuss with cafcass - if contact is refused then you are at least entitled to ask that you are made aware of what caitlin is doing in her life - school photos, reports etc.

babs

Ok, make the video, write letters, keep on buying the cards and stick the birtday cash in a bank account - one day she will be old enough to take them from you without her mother - one day she will know how much you loved her and how much you wanted her -

you could ask her school if they are willing to send you school reports - i'd also think that this is a worthwhile thing to discuss with cafcass - if contact is refused then you are at least entitled to ask that you are made aware of what caitlin is doing in her life - school photos, reports etc.

babs

I know what your saying but because she was born before 1st December 2003 I did not get automatic parental responsibility upon signing her birth certificate. So i couldnt do any of the above.

What about 'Beautiful' by James Blunt?

dido ..............thank you

Why can't you do any of the above? Nothing is stopping you from making a video and filling a bank account for her and giving it her when she's older.

It's only the school reports that you may not be able to do, I don't understand the ins and outs but I think personally that she'd prefer a video of you talking to her, the knowledge that you thought about her every year and that you still bothered to contact her a few years on.

Otherwise haven't you got anyone that you know who knows her? That way they can pass it on to her bypassing the mother. I know it's sneaky but maybe worth a try.

To be honest, I don't know if I'd appreciate a website and it's not necessarily going to still be there in a few years time should anything happen.

I wont forget you by Jim Reeves

Mariah Carey; You will always be my baby?

Or

Of all the dreams that I have had
There is one I share with you,
A better world where there is no sadness or pain.
A place where we can be a loving family,
Of every race, of every land at peace.

I only know that I love you,
And yes, it's true you feel the same.
Why can it be for everyone of us
Who walk this earth of men, women, and children,
When will this dream of mine come true.

As I love you, and you love me,
Together we make a father-daughter harmony.
There is always hope and love right here.

As I love you, and you love me,
Together we make a father-daughter harmony.
Side by side we will always be,
Side by side in harmony.

When I think of those without love
Within this hurting world.
It makes me sad to think of all their pain.
We need to stop the hate
Because it's getting late,
Tear down the wall and let us all walk through.

As I love you, and you love me,
Together we make a father-daughter harmony.
There is always hope and love right here.
As I love you, and you love me,
Together we make a father-daughter harmony.
Side by side we will always be,
Side by side in harmony.




Or
You're the end of the rainbow, my pot of gold,
You're daddy's little girl to have and hold
A precious gem is what you are,
You're mommy's bright and shining star

You're the spirit of Christmas, my star on the tree,
You're the Easter bunny to mommy and me
You're sugar you're spice, you're everything nice,
And you're daddy's little girl

You're the end of the rainbow, my pot of gold,
You're daddy's little girl to have and hold
A precious gem is what you are,
You're mommy's bright and shining star

You're the treasure I cherish so sparkling and bright,
You were touched by the holy and beautiful light
Like angels that sing a heavenly thing,
And you're daddy's little girl

And you're daddy's little girl

Ok, make the video, write letters, keep on buying the cards and stick the birtday cash in a bank account - one day she will be old enough to take them from you without her mother - one day she will know how much you loved her and how much you wanted her -

you could ask her school if they are willing to send you school reports - i'd also think that this is a worthwhile thing to discuss with cafcass - if contact is refused then you are at least entitled to ask that you are made aware of what caitlin is doing in her life - school photos, reports etc.

babs

I agree with this... You're obviously very hurt, which is totally understandable, but right now she's too young to really benefit from your efforts. And even if she was passed a video by a trusted friend, would a five-year-old really know what to do with it.

I think you've got to keep trying with cards and letters - never give up on that one, because one day she will be old enough to ask questions.

The other thing you could do is start keeping a scrap book. You can fill it with photos, messages, letters ect over the next few years, and then when she's old enough to find you, or to be contacted by you without her mother getting in the way, you can give it to her then and she'll know she was on your mind for all those years.

Best of luck!

heres tae the hand that rocks the babe
that rocks the babe alone
for theres many a man rocking another mans babe


when he thinks it is his own.

How about writing regular letters to her (on occasions like her birthday, and christmas, particularly) and lodging them with the social services, for them to save for her until she's eighteen?

Then there's no accusations of "interference" or any other stuff, with her life, from the mother. and she can see for herself when she's old enough how much you cared for her.

That's what I'm thinking of doing for my grandchildren, who I haven't seen since January 05.

PT

I agree with Goodlife and JBee.

Get a box and put in Xmas cards, birthday cards to her and buy a charm bracelet and every year add a charm, or open a bank account for her and every Xmas , birthday stick some money in to make up for the pressies you can't send. Just so when you get to have that 'talk' in years to come she'll know you thought about her all the time and love her.

I also feel dubious about the motives for a website. When she is older she might not appreciate the fact anyone could have seen it.

I have the number of a fantastic singer/songwriter who has moved from Manchester to Sheffield. He wrote a song for a friend of mine who lost her baby, I know its not the same thing but it was`a beauifully written song all about her feelings for her little girl, it cost a bit but not that much and on he cd cover was a picture of her and the baby, he has also done a charity song for the walnuss trust in manchester and is really good, get back to me and i'll try to get the number for you.

In my opinion yes. Iv'e tried passing things onto her for the past 2 years and everything has gone in the bin. Including over £400 worth of birthday presents last year.when i read your original quote i had try not to cry.But the idea that if you shout loud enough that you might let her know you love her is perhaps a gut instinct but not wise if you are really trying to let evryone know the personal situation with you your daughter and your ex.If you have a son that is half sister to your daughter who lives in the same house you will always beable to pass this message on to her.My ex started spreading rumours about me as due to fear i stopped contact but these rumours resulted in my feeling intimidated and more scared and less willing to try and work things out.From a female perspective the more you push or try to humiliate the less sympathitic she will be to you.After all she may change her mind in the long term.