Ok.

The snip.
Vasectomy.
The "Whip-a-nad-away-ectomy.

Anyone had it? I havent, but my doc mentions it occasionally.

So, whats it like? Should I be scared?

Nooo apparently it's virtually painless. A bit sore for a few days and then you'll be on your bike in no time !

why you had it done lindsey?
*runs*



as i said in tother thread where you nicked the idea from

its really not that bad

they numb the area
do a small incision
cut yer tubes

it doesnt hurt, it just aches.....like youve been kicked in the knackers
for a few days

the worst bits having to shave yer balls beforehand lol

My ex and my now b/f have both had it done.

My ex....no probs except for walking a bit funny for a few hours.

My b/f.......oooooo different story. Locals don't work on him properly straight away even though he told them this, he felt everything and was in agony until we walked out the hospital and the anaesthetic kicked in properly.......he was basically ok afterwards........that's 2 weeks after all the swelling and bruising goes down........hope it's not put anyone off as it affects different guys in different ways.

the worst bits having to shave yer balls beforehand lol

I was entrusted to do that bit :D

Ok sod it. So far I dont like what I see.
Im not having it done!



Noooooooooooooooo no no no no no no

Our doctors use just a cutlass in Sheffield......and we don't need to have things numbed......like you lot in North Yorkshire.

We're hhhaaarrrddd down here.........not that I have had it done :hihi:

Ok sod it. So far I dont like what I see.
Im not having it done!



Noooooooooooooooo no no no no no no

Oh you big girl !!! You want me to come and hold your hand ?????

why you had it done lindsey?
*runs*



Hmm no come to think of it I havent, but I can arrange it for you, very easily ;)

Ok sod it. So far I dont like what I see.
Im not having it done!



Noooooooooooooooo no no no no no no

I can do a much quicker job with a big wooden mallet :D :hihi:

It's not scary - and they do it while you wait :) I've had it done. I wouldn't say it was painful, just a little discomfort when the surgeon starts tugging on your tubes. As I remember, it was just a short, dull ache, a bit like a mild kick in the balls. And the surgeon was a woman, who showed no sympathy :) Afterwards, my balls were blue for several days, but that was the only sign that anything had happened.

I had it done about four years ago.Arrived at the hospital and was sat in reception when i noticed a sign saying that you must drink four litres of water.Idid this and sat there for about an hour.The nurse shouted me in and noticed i was walking strange.When i explained what was wrong and that i was busting for a pee she burst out laughing and told me that the four litres of water was for people with flow problems not vasectomys.What a dick head.As for the op it wasnt painfull just a bit of pulling and stuff but your balls go black with bruising.:thumbsup: :thumbsup:

Oh you big girl !!! You want me to come and hold your hand ?????
Hold my hand all you want. You wont be holding it in a nad-slicing unit though.

I hear the occasional horror story about nads swelling up and stuff....I just KNOW Im going to regret this but...Does any one know if theres any truth to it?

Hmm no come to think of it I havent, but I can arrange it for you, very easily ;)

too late :P

my ex brother in law had it done, but they used a couple of housebricks

"but....won't it hurt?" he asked

"No, I'll keep my thumbs out of the way!" came the reply
;)

Amate of mine went back to work after a couple of days and was told to take it easy.He lifted some heavy steel and the small stitchers burst.He got an infection which made them swell to twice there normal self and they were leaking puss.After acouple of weeks he was ok tho.:thumbsup:

I`m bloody cringing as I read this lot!!!! Its worse than a Hammer horror movie!

my husband had it done 9yrs ago now and the same night he was building a bonfire and he has been fine ever since.

Ok thats s lightly less horrific.
Its time they invented a pill or something, thats GOT to be better than a scalpel.

Ok thats s lightly less horrific.
Its time they invented a pill or something, thats GOT to be better than a scalpel.


Anyone told you how big the scalpel is yet ................. ???


Just wondered :)

i Dont Wanna Know I Dont Wanna See!!!!

Mummy!!!!!!

samurai sword sized, they have to cut an incision to get it in
keyhole surgery i think they call it

I had it done ages ago and the doc who did it took ages to find the "pipe" he was supposed to be cutting so when he got to do the other side, the local had worn off. After he got me off the ceiling he had to give me another jab.

Jabber, have you thought about taking a G.C.S.E in Geography instead? :)

my husband had it done 9yrs ago now and the same night he was building a bonfire and he has been fine ever since.

What were you up to with the Firemen at the time?

I had it done ages ago and the doc who did it took ages to find the "pipe" he was supposed to be cutting so when he got to do the other side, the local had worn off. After he got me off the ceiling he had to give me another jab.

Did you have time to artex the ceiling before you came down? :hihi:

After he got me off the ceiling he had to give me another jab.

did he say "its only a little prick sir" ?

Jabber, have you thought about taking a G.C.S.E in Geography instead? :)
I have an O level in Geography! I know where places like France are and everything!

when i had it done, my toddger swelled to twice its size & was all bruised . my wife said to the doctor leave the swelling just take the bruising out :P

I have an O level in Geography! I know where places like France are and everything!

An 'O' Level qualifies you to do the vasectomy.....so why not do-it yourself?........just go to B&Q, ask for the sheep shearing tools section.....and :o

Don't want to be a scaremonger, but isn't there a link to possible subsequent testicular cancer caused by the bruising from the operation?

when i had it done, my toddger swelled to twice its size & was all bruised . my wife said to the doctor leave the swelling just take the bruising out :P
Thats one good reason to have it done!

Don't want to be a scaremonger, but isn't there a link to possible subsequent testicular cancer caused by the bruising from the operation?

dont think i can remember cancer being a possible side effect when i was told everything

when i had it done, my toddger swelled to twice its size & was all bruised . my wife said to the doctor leave the swelling just take the bruising out :P

ah

needed no viagra for that month then?

This is all twisting my delicate little mind.

#twisting my melons man

My slats are aching just thinking about it.
And to think I was going to ask about the prostate test the doc does. Im staying WELL clear of that subject!

oooh let me do it for you.... I promise to be gentle - I'm always gentle :)

oooh let me do it for you.... I promise to be gentle
Yeah catch me first. Youll need a jet though because when Im scared I can outrun bloody concorde.

Heck! Not yet! Holding on to my supply system for Grade A Bigflesh Seed. You never know. Even though its not required at the moment, you never know. Having said that, it may never be required to serve its purpose, but, you just never know. I understand that reversals are possible, but maybe its just me.... I'd rather not take the risk. 10 years down the line, heck - the stuff maybe in short supply! Funnier things have happened. Always good to know, the plumbing is intact if ever a surplus stock was required. Bigflesh -protecting the investment that mother nature offered him.

Heck! Not yet! Holding on to my supply system for Grade A Bigflesh Seed. You never know. Even though its not required at the moment, you never know. Having said that, it may never be required to serve its purpose, but, you just never know. I understand that reversals are possible, but maybe its just me.... I'd rather not take the risk. 10 years dowm the line, the stuff maybe in short supply... funnier things have happened. Always good to know, the plumbing is intact if ever a surplus stock was required.
Well Im at that age now where the docs start hinting that maybe its time to go for a little slicing and dicing....
Im not worried but...

Well Im at that age now where the docs start hinting that maybe its time to go for a little slicing and dicing....
Im not worried but...

Go for it Jabs! Its a very personal manouvre! Good to get it out in public though for some mass debate.

Go for it Jabs! Its a very personal manouvre! Good to get it out in public though for some mass debate.
i think george michael tried that

didnt get him very far

Go for it Jabs! Its a very personal manouvre! Good to get it out in public though for some mass debate.
No way.
My love-spuds are too delicate, all that talk of cutting and tugging and bruising and....Ok Im going to faint...

Just think how grown up you'll be ......... all manly like !!

No way.
My love-spuds are too delicate, all that talk of cutting and tugging and bruising and....Ok Im going to faint...

Jabs... think of the benefits!

1. Less stress - is she isnt she?
2. Less stress - no more trips to the park to play footy
3. Less stress - fire away to your hearts content
5. Less stress - no more trips to remortgage
6. Less stress - "yes son, another babay brother/daughter" - toddler fallout emotions!
7. Less stress - OMG Billys took dollys head off
8. Less stress - less mess.... (sorry) i know it doesnt quite work like that but it seemed fitting.

It maybe a bit of a ball ache, but I am sure you will come... "out of the end" enriched by the experience.

Just think how grown up you'll be ......... all manly like !!

he won't be brimming with seed. thats for sure. jabs... the walking contraceptive! form an orderly queue, ladies.

one word




jaffa

one word




cake

Oh come on - I have offered to hold your hand ........... just do it

jabs, lob em out mate....

i have my meat cleaver at the ready (and me pinnie on) ... for you... a tenner. pillow?

Had it done 10 years ago. Managed to put up with all the prodding and tugging BUT when the surgeon moved a good six foot back and his assistant appeared with an evil look in his eyes I got scared :help:

Without a word he produced this aerosol can, sprayed the recently spliced area and got well out of my reach. My first reaction was that he had just used a flamethrower on my nads, the pain was enormous :surprised

Turned out it was plastic skin and the intense pain did thankfully disappear after 30 seconds or so. Mind you if I could have reached him I would have layed him out instantly :o

If it's any consolation I was back at work within two days with no ill effects :cool:

Had it done 10 years ago. Managed to put up with all the prodding and tugging BUT when the surgeon moved a good six foot back and his assistant appeared with an evil look in his eyes I got scared :help:

Without a word he produced this aerosol can, sprayed the recently spliced area and got well out of my reach. My first reaction was that he had just used a flamethrower on my nads, the pain was enormous :surprised

Turned out it was plastic skin and the intense pain did thankfully disappear after 30 seconds or so. Mind you if I could have reached him I would have layed him out instantly :o

If it's any consolation I was back at work within two days with no ill effects :cool:


Dont listen - Simon is lying - it's like candyfloss on a summers night !!!

Dont listen - Simon is lying - it's like candyfloss on a summers night !!!

Alright, I'm lying. I didn't go back to work after a couple of days. I got an infection and my nads looked the size and colour of a cricket ball (with seam) for nearly a week :gag: I can now shine one side and swing whenever I want :hihi:

Alright, I'm lying. I didn't go back to work after a couple of days. I got an infection and my nads looked the size and colour of a cricket ball (with seam) for nearly a week :gag: I can now shine one side and swing whenever I want :hihi:


Shhhh.... can you hear .... it's the sound of no one caring !!

But seriously, you are a mosborough boy.... I thought they were all tough !!??

I stopped reading this thread ages ago.
I just keep fainting.

I stopped reading this thread ages ago.
I just keep fainting.

Bloody great girl !!!

Bloody great girl !!!
Damn bloody right I am!
:hihi:

They do burn the cut tubes to seal them. Apparently the smell makes a some men physically sick. A lad at work has recently had it done and he was warned of this but was ok..

Damn bloody right I am!
:hihi:

Why are you having it done anyway JW ?


Come to fuel with us on Saturday xxxx

My dad had it done years ago and said it was not his favourite experience. In fact, he couldn't walk (yes, waLk) for days and swore never to have it done again!

If you DO decide to do it Jabbers, take some homoeopathic arnica the day before (3 doses over the whole day) and as soon as you can after the op for the next two days. Swelling, bruising and pain will be reduced multiple times. It's radical stuff :thumbsup:

They do burn the cut tubes to seal them. Apparently the smell makes a some men physically sick. A lad at work has recently had it done and he was warned of this but was ok..



Such a small forum yet so many liars .............

Why are you having it done anyway JW ?


Come to fuel with us on Saturday xxxx
Im not having it done, but Im at the age where docs start to gently hint that I should have it done.
I just want to know exactly how fast I should run to get away from the buggers.

Such a small forum yet so many liars .............True I can prove it..

Swelling, bruising and pain ????
They do burn the cut tubes to seal them????


Sod that for a lark!!!!!

My dad had it done years ago and said it was not his favourite experience. In fact, he couldn't walk (yes, waLk) for days and swore never to have it done again!



but you dont need to have it done again if its done right and cuts off the sperm :P

hmmm... pork crackling

My happy sacks are actually physically aching here! Its horrible!

True I can prove it..

go on then............

Shhhh.... can you hear .... it's the sound of no one caring !!

But seriously, you are a mosborough boy.... I thought they were all tough !!??

I feel so much younger with the "Mosborough boy" label :thumbsup:

Seriously though, it was a toss up (poor choice of phrase?) between the wife getting sterilised or me getting the snip. We have a strong marriage and three kids so I volunteered. Sterilisation for women is one hell of an ordeal to go through and I believe I did the right thing. I have no qualms whatsoever.

melthebell; durrr! I know that! I was bein' funny (or similar :suspect:)

Jabbers, unless you neeeeed to have it done, avoid it. Operations are an assault on the physical being, anaesthetics are full of crap and it can take a while to recover physiologically.

I feel so much younger with the "Mosborough boy" label :thumbsup:

.


you should !!!

xx

Had mine done 27 years ago, been happily 'firing blanks' ever since. :hihi: :hihi:
Could'nt jump over any 5 barred gates for a while after.

melthebell; durrr! I know that! I was bein' funny (or similar :suspect:)

Jabbers, unless you neeeeed to have it done, avoid it. Operations are an assault on the physical being, anaesthetics are full of crap and it can take a while to recover physiologically.
This is all I needed to hear!
Physiologically Im ALREADY on the verge of nervous system death and thats just from reading these posts.
My happy-sacks feel as if they went 12 rounds with a pick-axe handle so I can imagine what theyd feel like after some maniac with a scalpel had hacked away at them.
The reason I asked about this subject was curiosity.
I know what curiosity did to the cat, and now I know what Itd do to my sweet little hedgehog of fun should I ever be insane enough to walk into the doctors surgery one sunny day and yell `YES! I WANT THE VASECTOMY! GET OUT YER SCALPEL AND SLASH AWAY! SLASH AWAY TILL YOUR TINY HEART IS CONTENT MY MAN COS I LOVE IT!`

Theres more chance of me making love to a bird eating spider than that happening. I actually think I may have had a slight mental breakdown too.
I had a pet budgie once but I had to have him put down because he was allergic to feathers.
I had a pet lemming once, I called him Cliff to freak him out....

See? see that? Its making me ill!!!!

This is all I needed to hear!
Physiologically Im ALREADY on the verge of nervous system death and thats just from reading these posts.
My happy-sacks feel as if they went 12 rounds with a pick-axe handle so I can imagine what theyd feel like after some maniac with a scalpel had hacked away at them.
The reason I asked about this subject was curiosity.
I know what curiosity did to the cat, and now I know what Itd do to my sweet little hedgehog of fun should I ever be insane enough to walk into the doctors surgery one sunny day and yell `YES! I WANT THE VASECTOMY! GET OUT YER SCALPEL AND SLASH AWAY! SLASH AWAY TILL YOUR TINY HEART IS CONTENT MY MAN COS I LOVE IT!`

Theres more chance of me making love to a bird eating spider than that happening. I actually think I may have had a slight mental breakdown too.
I had a pet budgie once but I had to have him put down because he was allergic to feathers.
I had a pet lemming once, I called him Cliff to freak him out....

See? see that? Its making me ill!!!!

GIRL GIRL GIRL

GIRL GIRL GIRL
Yes Yes Yessssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss:hih i:

Yes Yes Yessssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss:hih i:

OH ffs ......get a grip boy - it's no different to a papercut !!

OH ffs ......get a grip boy - it's no different to a papercut !!

lol


he just likes the attention

DIY Vasectomy
After having their 11th child, a Scouse couple decided that was enough, as they could not afford a larger bed. So the husband went to his doctor and told him that he and his wife didn't want to have any more children.

The doctor told him there was a procedure called a vasectomy that would fix the problem but it was expensive. A less costly alternative was to go home, get a firework, light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10.

The Scouser said to the doctor, "I may not be the smartest guy in the world, but I don't see how putting a firework in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me."

"Trust me, it will do the job", said the doctor.

So the man went home, lit a banger and put it in a beer can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count: "1, 2, 3, 4, 5," at which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs so he could continue counting on his other hand.

This procedure also works in Birmingham, parts of Essex, inner London, Newcastle, Norfolk and anywhere in Wales. :hihi:

Had it done in 1997.

Worst part is having to shave yourself before - not summat that comes naturally to a bloke - and the itching when the hair grows back.

I'll say nowt about somebody taking a sharp knife to your b*lls - I'd have preferred the option of a gallon of ale rather than a local anaesthetic.