Or one for building self esteem / dealing with life - all those sorts of things. A bit general I know but it's difficult to know what is required!

I'll post up a little list when I get home this evening.

:)

You're fantastic! Thankyou so much! x

I'm reading Rain Man at the mo, It makes me feel so warm and happy (I am towards the end now)

I was thinking more of an Allen Carr for life sort of thing! Thanks for the suggestion though - will try it!

He might be a little unsubtle, but I'm rather fond of Dr Phil. Life Strategies (http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/0091856965/qid=1149871215/sr=8-8/ref=pd_ka_8/203-8107207-4245563) is an interesting read. There's also Self Matters (http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/0743468031/ref=pd_sim_b_dp_5/203-8107207-4245563).

They sound pretty good. The problem always seems to be there are such mixed reviews it must be down to personal preference

sounds a tad depressing but christopher reeves anything is possible motivated me!!... well it didnt but it makes you realise just how lucky you are and helps you to put lifes troubles to one side....
xx

The Prince by Niccolo Machiavelli inspired me to plan dirty tricks against a colleague who is going for the same job as me.

I stopped short of having her publicly executed in the town square however.

I find any of the Chicken Soup for the Soul range amazing...

http://www.hci-online.com/Engine/shopping/catalog.asp?store=5&category=92&item=0

and

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chicken_Soup_for_the_Soul

Puts a different perspective of day to day matters.

Or one for building self esteem / dealing with life - all those sorts of things. A bit general I know but it's difficult to know what is required!

I'd really love to help but can't be bothered today :)

I think there are typically mixed reviews about most help yousrelf books. The main things to bear in mind are :

Don't be taken in by anything that promises it will be a painless, quick experience. You'll find that effort is required - there's the old joke ; 'How many life coaches does it take to change a light bulb? One, but the light bulb has to really want to change.'

The best personal development methodolgies are based on developing character traits - confidence, self esteem, etc. The Confidence CD by Paul McKenna (which I've used) is a rather nice tool, but even that requires time and effort. Don't believe anyone who takes the 'Give the 'power look' to get what you want!' or 'Three ways to always get what you want' approach - learning to be manipulative isn't what you're wanting to do.

Finally, when you change, and the change sticks, be aware that there may well be people around you who dislike the change because you're no longer what they want you to be. Nothing to worry about, but just be aware of it. :)

OK.....these books SHOULD be still in print, though the first one is a bit old. I've listed the ISBNs of the editions that I've got.

"Go For It" - Irene C Kassorla - a good, general guide to being a winner in life rather than a loser. ISBN 0-7515-0963-9, Warner Books, 1992

"Self Motivation" - Gael Lindenfield - a guide to getting off your arse and dooooooing IT! If you just get one of these books, this would be my choice. Once you get this inside you you'll feel motivated to do more! ISBN 0-7225-3244-X, Thorsons, 1996. She also does a book for women called 'The Positive Woman' and another one called 'Self Esteem'. She is VERY good.

"Total Confidence" Philippa Davies. ISBN 0 7499 1434 3, , Piatkus, 1995. This is a book aimed at building confidence in communicating - thinking confidently, speaking confidently and being able to encourage and inspire others.

"The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People", Stephen R Covey, Simon & Schuster, ISBN 0-671-71117-2. This is SUCH a useful book - it's very much aimed at helping you become effective in all parts of your life. Time management, personal development, building character - it requires effort to implement but most improvements in my bilities and character in recent years I put down to thsi book and a follow up called 'Putting First Things First' - same author and publisher. Very much of the 'character building' school of thought. Excellent stuff.

The above 4 books are sort of 'How To' books. The next one is 'What to do when you can do it'. :)

"What should I do with my life", Po Bronson, Virago, 2003. ISBN 0 09 943799 6. In this book the author collects together a load of interviews he did with various people about their lives - and it is inspiring stuff. There are no answers, no rights or wrongs - just lots of people who've done things with their lives that worked, or didn't work. They just tell their story. I find it very inspirational - it reminds us that everyone's life is a work in progress.

Hope this helps!

Joe

I think this (http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/0310210747/sr=1-4/qid=1149883865/ref=sr_1_4/203-0022727-0443127?%5Fencoding=UTF8&s=books&v=glance) should 'scratch your itch'.:)

Covey is definitely good - 7 habits is awesome. The Rules for Life by Richard Templar can give you good insight. I have also taken a leadership course which used Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman which I found quite facinating.

It really depends on what you are looking for....some say Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill can also add a spark.

At one time I was always buying self help books.(ive read a lot of those that Joep recommends.)The trouble is once youve put them down, you forget what theve told you.:huh:

At one time I was always buying self help books.(ive read a lot of those that Joep recommends.)The trouble is once youve put them down, you forget what theve told you.:huh:

Interesting point. I find that I have to keep practising what I read for it to stay with me - it's like excercise, but you're developing character rather than muscle, but it's just as hard.

This week I've been going through the Kasorla book again, and I often dip in and out of the Po Bronson book I mentioned.

I find that I often use the Covey book as a guide to my time mangement - the first things first idea is something I often have to work on.

The 'doing' is important; to just read is useful, but to make change happen you have to practice.

Why not try reading Jonathan Livingston Seagull, its by Richard Bach and is more allegory than direct self help material, its a great little book and youll want to read it again and again, well I know I did.

the magic of thinking big is also a good one which i have read....

http://www.butler-bowdon.com/magicthinking.htm

nothing to do with me btw, although it can count for a lot if you allow it to.

I've got some of the books mentioned too.
7 Effective Ways, Emotional Intelligence (yes, both of them), 'Things to read in the loo' (great book), Rich Dad, Poor Dad (good for simple business concepts), Fish! (Good for work scenarios. I've been to the Seattle fish market. It really does work.)

I tend to skim read it. I don't tend to force myself do something which I dislike. So for me, practising those said in the book is a non-starter. The way I see it is that; at the end of the day, we are only humans, and we should react the way we want to freely.

I tend to remember this little philosophical book a friend bought me once. Which highlight 10 little principles for happiness. i.e. keep healthy, live 'for the moment', choose to be happy, be happy with yourself, live for a goal, look on the funny side, forgive others and yourself, learn to give, appreciate your relationships, have faith.

Why not try reading Jonathan Livingston Seagull, its by Richard Bach and is more allegory than direct self help material, its a great little book and youll want to read it again and again, well I know I did.

My favourite Richard Bach book is 'Illusions - The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah.

Someone should write a book entitled "What kind of people read "Self Help"books ?It would be most interesting to find out why we have to read this type of book. Are we lacking in confidence or just need motivating ?:huh:

Someone should write a book entitled "What kind of people read "Self Help"books ?It would be most interesting to find out why we have to read this type of book. Are we lacking in confidence or just need motivating ?:huh:

Quite. Perhaps some of the people who've posted on here should entitle their posts ' Get a grip' Or I'm a control freak but I can't help it'

Someone should write a book entitled "What kind of people read "Self Help"books ?It would be most interesting to find out why we have to read this type of book. Are we lacking in confidence or just need motivating ?:huh:

For me I think it's been a case of personal development, especially self-confidence and self-esteem in the past. About 8 years ago I knew I had a problem so undertook to fix it.

I'd previously tried counselling, and met a couple of life coaches 'in passing', so to say, and came to the conclusion that I could probably sort myself out. I think that when you appreciate you have something to work on about yourself, half the battle is fought.

Being motivated is a big part of it for me. SOmetimes when I lose the urge to write, for example, I'll read books that motivate me about writing - recently this has been Stephen King's 'On Writing'. If I feel I'm losing the battle with my diary, I'll get something read on time management, and so on.

Reading self-help books when you know the area of engagement you wish to work on is, to me, perfectly sensible. The problem is when people jump between philosophies and gurus without really getting anything from the programmes. As I said - you can't get 'owt for nowt in personal development.

Quite. Perhaps some of the people who've posted on here should entitle their posts ' Get a grip' Or I'm a control freak but I can't help it'
Yes, get a grip would be good. Although I think we may need controlling by someone else. Probably the author of the book, that we are reading.Does that make sense ? :huh:

Quite. Perhaps some of the people who've posted on here should entitle their posts ' Get a grip' Or I'm a control freak but I can't help it'

A little harsh; alternatively there's nothing wrong with acknowledging that you may need help.

There's also nothing wrong with developing your character and personal skills to get the most out of your life. There's nothing worse than wasted potential.

Yes, get a grip would be good. Although I think we may need controlling by someone else. Probably the author of the book, that we are reading.Does that make sense ? :huh:

There is a difference between taking on board ideas from self-help books and being under the control of someone.

At the centre of developing your character and learning about yousrelf is the knowledge that at some point you will probably find yousrelf disagreeing with what an author writes, if you find that it doesn't work for you.

Most people who wish to develop tehmselves further are already 'getting a grip' by taking a little more control of their lives. We can't all be practically perfect in every way; most of us have problems and gremlins that get in teh way of our lives and that can be dealt with.

Taking efforts to improve ones self should be praised, not belittled.

I want everyone who has replied to this to know how much I appeciate the advice. Thankyou for all the suggestions and I will definately look into all of them.

Thankyou all so much xxx

Or one for building self esteem / dealing with life - all those sorts of things. A bit general I know but it's difficult to know what is required!

I can't understand why people need to read these 'Self Help' books, i'm sure all they do is try to convince you there's something wrong with you when most people are just as normal as the next, well thats just my oppinion anyhow...as for me, I love my boreing normal life and intend to keep it that way without even trying, I think being bored is the same as being content, but I'm sure theres a book out there that would like to convince me different.:rolleyes:

it'd take me a miracle to get motivated not a book

:)

If you want motivating read a book about thatcher, it will motivate you to throw up, after reading the sycophantic comments of her disciples :gag:

If you want motivating read a book about thatcher, it will motivate you to throw up, after reading the sycophantic comments of her disciples :gag:
thats not motivational, thats a nightmare

At a verylow time in my life, someone gave me 'The Power of Positive Thinking' by Norman Vincent Peale. It's full of references to the Bible etc, and I just put it to one side as 'not for me'. Things got even more desperate - I was prescribed valium - counselling was never on offer. In my desperation, I decided to read the book and just ignore the bits I couldn't take on board. I gave up the valium and started using affirmations. I got back on track. It's not necessarily a book I'd recommend to people now; there are so many more up-to-date versions on the theme. But if you've no one to turn to, a book just might hold some answers.

At a verylow time in my life, someone gave me 'The Power of Positive Thinking' by Norman Vincent Peale. It's full of references to the Bible etc, and I just put it to one side as 'not for me'. Things got even more desperate - I was prescribed valium - counselling was never on offer. In my desperation, I decided to read the book and just ignore the bits I couldn't take on board. I gave up the valium and started using affirmations. I got back on track. It's not necessarily a book I'd recommend to people now; there are so many more up-to-date versions on the theme. But if you've no one to turn to, a book just might hold some answers.

I would agree with you on this book.

It was a 'character' book of it's time, and hasn't aged well, but there are some excellent bits in there and it's lurking around the shelves here at The Towers.

The affirmations are important - I think so much of the time people beat themselves up over what they do wrong, rather than give themselves a pat on the back when they do tuff right.

Just changing that around made a lot of difference to me.

Just to complete the discussion,as an avid reader of "Self Help" books,I can honestly say that I havent read a single one that has helped me.:huh:

Or one for building self esteem / dealing with life - all those sorts of things. A bit general I know but it's difficult to know what is required!

Hi I have read all or most of the books that have been suggested, I suggest that you read teenagers books, so much better

The Teenager's Guide to the Real World http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0965743039/sr=8-2/qid=1150067982/ref=pd_bbs_2/103-8582287-4884628?%5Fencoding=UTF8

The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective Teens http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0684856093/sr=8-6/qid=1150067982/ref=pd_bbs_6/103-8582287-4884628?%5Fencoding=UTF8

Etc etc.

WHSmiths have great teenager books too

They are absolutely brilliant.

'the way of the peaceful warrior'. - check it, also 'zen and the art...' - not 'self help' jobbies in the strictest, but good-uns for the 'life-changers' that you come across every now and then:)

I haven't read it myself but I saw a review of this and it sounded good - much more realistic than a lot of pop psychology (though it might of course just be another variation on the theme):

last self help book you'll ever need (http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/0465054862/qid=1150091396/sr=8-2/ref=sr_8_xs_ap_i2_xgl/202-9088500-0221447)

Dale Carnegie books are very good. They are more related to business but, they teach things like assertivness and self confidence. They also cover motivation and business type skills, which although might not seem relevant, but they can be applied to other situations too. You can even do a evening course with the Dale Carnegie Foundation.

Joel

Think,

Have to agree on the 'dependency culture' comment.

I've never been sold on life coaches for this reason - I think it's like the old adage about 'teaching a man to fish' and you feed him for life. Learn some basic life skills, respect yourself and others, develop a good work ethic and a sound moral compass and you'll probably be OK. And common sense. Never forget that. :)

Get the basics right and it doesn't matter what fashions come and go in the world of self-help books - you're equpped with the basic tools you need to approach the problems that may befall you.

Pattricia - not sure a self-help book has ever helped me, but I have helped myself after reading them. :)

To me, self help books fall under the pop psych. category. Knowing yourself, and understanding others around you is what we do every day on a daily basis anyway.

I will admit that I've not read all those books from beginning to end. Though, I know what I've read will sometimes crop up time to time in my mind. So something must've gone into my brain somehow. I know they're not a miracle, life changing books. Well, not for me anyway...

For me, new ideas comes from reading many ideas. One day, I'm sure all things read would formulate the person that I become subconsiously, or consciously. It just depends on how you view it.

Depends on what you want to be motivated to do, and the (honest) answer to the question "What's stopping you?".

An easy way to get motivated is to act as if you are already motivated ie pretend as if it is a role you are rehearsing....move your body as if you are motivated, do things as if you were motivated....I know you aren't, but act as if you are...

Books;


Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway - Dr Susan Jeffers.

Instant Confidence - Paul McKenna

Notes from a Friend - Anthony Robbins

Unlimited Power - Anthony Robbins

Man's Search for Meaning - Viktor Frankl

Your Erroneous Zones - Dr Wayne Dyer

Johnathan Livingstone Seagull - Bach

I've read a few:
- Further along the road less travelled
- You can't allow the luxury of a negative thought
- Who moved my cheese
I can't remember who these are by, but there's loads of self help books out there.

Does 'Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus' come into this category as well?

I want to give it a read, I've heard things about it for years and I wondered what it was about so I will be reading it sometime this week.

Does 'Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus' come into this category as well?..
It's certainly motivational. It motivated me to chuck it in the bin. It's rubbish. Really. Trite gender stereotypes and pages about how men need to 'go to their caves' periodically, all written in irritating American therapy-speak :gag: . Save your money, Angelus.

It's certainly motivational. It motivated me to chuck it in the bin. It's rubbish. Really. Trite gender stereotypes and pages about how men need to 'go to their caves' periodically, all written in irritating American therapy-speak :gag: . Save your money, Angelus.

Awww crap- I've already gone and bought it as well.
I'll have a read then send it on its way to oxfam then :hihi:

Does 'Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus' come into this category as well?

I want to give it a read, I've heard things about it for years and I wondered what it was about so I will be reading it sometime this week.

i bought it to try and help me understand men.

got through the first chapter and realised that it was really a book for people who already have a relationship and it was never going to help me. luckily got it from the publishers warehouse for a couple of quid so i dont feel that ripped off (could have still got a gin and lemonade for the price of it though :()

suspect its going to get very dusty and never get the spine broken.


sophie
x

ps. definately agree with the triteness comment from hecate.

suspect its going to get very dusty and never get the spine broken.


ooh that sounds painful
i am a bit dusty mind *clears cobwebs out of ears*

I like 'Feel the fear and do it anyway' by Susan Jeffers - some of it is a little patronising I guess but it mostly reminds you of what you already know but need reminding of every now and then.
Good luck and happy reading!

Lifemanship by stephen potter. Its really funny, but you would probably need to get it from ebay as its out of print.

Some of these books sound really interesting but i would like to know if they have actually been any real help to anyone. I have always suffered from low self esteem and poor self image which makes it hard for me to keep friends. The reason i ask is that my employer is currently doing some business/personal coaching which he wants all his employees to do also. This completely fills me with dread as it involves getting 10 people who know you to write what they think about you! Its supposed to help you find out what your unique ability is but i am just so worried about it, its spoiling what has been a good job for me so far. :confused:

Some of these books sound really interesting but i would like to know if they have actually been any real help to anyone. I have always suffered from low self esteem and poor self image which makes it hard for me to keep friends. The reason i ask is that my employer is currently doing some business/personal coaching which he wants all his employees to do also. This completely fills me with dread as it involves getting 10 people who know you to write what they think about you! Its supposed to help you find out what your unique ability is but i am just so worried about it, its spoiling what has been a good job for me so far. :confused:
No, they havent been any real help.The only people they help are the authors of the books.(Money wise) You can only help yourself,and no book can do it.!

The reason i ask is that my employer is currently doing some business/personal coaching which he wants all his employees to do also. This completely fills me with dread as it involves getting 10 people who know you to write what they think about you! Its supposed to help you find out what your unique ability is but i am just so worried about it, its spoiling what has been a good job for me so far. :confused:

have you voiced your concerns to your boss? or asked anybody else at work about their opinions on this prospect?

i reckon if you do, youll probably find that there are other people at work who feel the same way as you.

dont let it spoil your job- be up front and tell him how you feel about it. if there are enough people at work who feel uncomfortable about doing this, it may mean your boss has to drop the idea.

personally, whilst seeming quite an outwardly confident person, i would feel really unhappy about doing something like that. plus, it would take a huge chunk out of my workday- will you be paid to panda to his little project? how is he justifying you not working whilst at work? ;)

ive got my fingers crossed for you.

sophie
x

ps. great username and avatar- id forgotten about my childhood favourite noggin the nog until today! :)

have you voiced your concerns to your boss? or asked anybody else at work about their opinions on this prospect?

i reckon if you do, youll probably find that there are other people at work who feel the same way as you.

dont let it spoil your job- be up front and tell him how you feel about it. if there are enough people at work who feel uncomfortable about doing this, it may mean your boss has to drop the idea.

personally, whilst seeming quite an outwardly confident person, i would feel really unhappy about doing something like that. plus, it would take a huge chunk out of my workday- will you be paid to panda to his little project? how is he justifying you not working whilst at work? ;)

ive got my fingers crossed for you.

sophie
x

ps. great username and avatar- id forgotten about my childhood favourite noggin the nog until today! :)

Thankyou Sophie, those are wise words indeed! I will definitely talk to others about it tomorrow, maybe even pluck up courage to talk to my boss!

I am going to order a couple of the books mentioned in this thread, I am not so naive that I expect reading a book will change my life but maybe if it points me in the right direction its a start!

Has anyone read 'The power of now' by Eckhart Tolle

Just wondered...

Has anyone read 'The power of now' by Eckhart Tolle

Just wondered...

Hi Stagey;

I am big fan of Eckhart Tolle. The Power of Now is excellent (audio book version) as is A New Earth, all well worthy of investigation.

Eckhart Tolle was recently heavily featured on the Oprah Show, they did a 10 week webcast together; pretty big downloads (about 1 gig each)...

http://www.oprah.com/obc_classic/webcast/archive/archive_download.jsp

If you're interested I'm intending to do some kind of study group once the PD group is up and running.

My friend's birthday was last week and she got "feel the fear and do it anyway" from her aunt....says its really good, i'm going to a get a copy. both of us are quitting the jobs that have made us unhappy to find something that makes us happy. kind of relevant book as we're giving up a steady wage to go and temp until we find something!

Paul Mckenna's books are really good, especially the one's which come with cd's, have a look next time you're in smiths!

Other fantastic books;

As a Man Thinketh - James Allen.
Jonathan Livingston Seagull - Richard Back.
The Tao of Pooh - Benjamin Hoff.
The Little Prince (ok, it's more for kids) - Antoine de Saint Exupéry.

Your Erroneous Zones - Dr Wayne Dyer

Wholeheartedly recommend this one too!

"The Enjoyment of the Sandwich" by Versa Tilecock. I'd recommend this one, it taught me to have a sarnie in each hand and still be able to type.

"The Enjoyment of the Sandwich" by Versa Tilecock. I'd recommend this one, it taught me to have a sarnie in each hand and still be able to type.

:hihi::hihi::hihi:

you silly sausage!


x

:) its a classic read!

'Don't Sweat the Small Stuff' Richard Carlson'
'Feel the Fear & Do It Anyway' Susan Jeffers

Hope this helps!

Cat

It's Not About the Bike (http://www.play.com/Books/Books/4-/322357/-/Product.html?searchstring=its+not+about+the+bike&searchsource=0)

I cannot recommend this book highly enough. It's fantastic.:thumbsup::thumbsup:

I've got some of the books mentioned too.
7 Effective Ways, Emotional Intelligence (yes, both of them), 'Things to read in the loo' (great book), Rich Dad, Poor Dad (good for simple business concepts), Fish! (Good for work scenarios. I've been to the Seattle fish market. It really does work.)

I tend to skim read it. I don't tend to force myself do something which I dislike. So for me, practising those said in the book is a non-starter. The way I see it is that; at the end of the day, we are only humans, and we should react the way we want to freely.

I tend to remember this little philosophical book a friend bought me once. Which highlight 10 little principles for happiness. i.e. keep healthy, live 'for the moment', choose to be happy, be happy with yourself, live for a goal, look on the funny side, forgive others and yourself, learn to give, appreciate your relationships, have faith.

Rich Dad Poor Dad is an AMAZING life changing book!