I got in a debate with my friend last night, i reckon that some men would get in with a pregnant girl. She cant see how ia guy can get attached to a girl who is carrying someone elses baby? My friend is a young (23), attractive lass who is 3 months pregnant with her ex's baby who has done a runner because he is a t*** and she is scared of being left on the shelf! She doesnt have any problems getting men normally but she thinks this will put them off her or when her baby arrives they wont be interested in her and a kid. So guys and girls what do you think? x

Let me just say it takes all sorts. Some men like it, some me don't. And some men are prepared to offer the love and support to a mother to be and child that they need.

Truthfully it will put some guys off whislt she is pregnant especailly those who have no children themselves. I think the older guys (25+) who have had children and are a little more wise may be more willing and accepting.

As for when the little one arrives, thinsg will be better and i'd guess that most guys will not mind.

Its certainly wont be a plus point for her unfortunately and is likely to complicate a relationship, but a serious contender for her affections would get over it. A relation of mine has a 2 year old and has just got a new partner who seems to get on well with the child.

She just has to find the right man!

My mums friend is a single mother, and has been with a man since her daughter was 4 (she is now about 13) and he pays no interest in her whatsoever.

If I was a single parent then I would always put my child first. I know its easy for me to say that cos I cant imagine how lonely you must feel but do you really want your child to feel rejected?

I personally think it would be harder for a woman to find a man while pregnant than it would be after the baby is born.

I met my soon to be ex wife, when she was a new mother of a 9 day old daughter, from the beginning, I knew that in order to have a relationship with her, I would be taking on a child fathered by another man. I'll admit, for about five miuntes I had doubts, but after the initial mild shock, I realised that a family was my eventual goal. For the last 11 years I have raised 'our' daughter as my own, and love her more than I can put into words. Sadly the marriage has ended, but I will always be my daughter's father, and I'll always be my ex's best friend. It can work, we were living proof of that, and a decent and caring man, will have no problem in accepting and raising a child, biology notwithstanding.

My opinion on this matter probably isn't worth much, because I am too old and it would never happen to me, but here is my tuppence anyway.

In theory it should be the girls personallity that makes the difference. This is probably the case, but the circumstances surrounding the pregancy have a direct effect on this. For example, on one extreme, you might have a respectable married women who is pregnant and whose husband dies or even just runs off with a fancy women. On the other end of the spectrum you might have a girl who got pregnant with a boy she moved in with after knowing for a month and then he left her after another few months. In both cases these are pregant women, but one is responsible and the other might have flaws in her character. When deciding whether it is worth getting involved with a pregnant women it might be that these circumstances are what makes the difference. I would also say that many men find pregnant women erotic, (in my case only my wife, when she is pregnant) and this might also have an effect.

Once the baby gets to be a few months old she wont have a problem.
And if she wants a long term partner, then babies and adults easily become attached to each other. It does not have to be your physical child for you to be its father. I know men who have married women with young children, and better fathers you could not hope to meet.
In fact far better men than some so called 'real' fathers could hope to be :)

Im going to have a guess as i haven't got any children of my own but, that her priorities will change once the little one will come. It won't be a case of "left on the shelf" which i am 100% sure she won't, it will be more of a case of "they have to love my child as well as me".

I know she won't be left on the shelf. When my parents split my mom had 2 kids, i was 5 and my bro was 3. She met someone a year later and has been with him ever since. They married and made a conscious decision not have any kids (which i respect my step dad for totally, and love him more for bringing up 2kids by another man) :)

Her now ex boyfriend has convinced her that she will be on her own and have basically a ****e life!! This is because he wants her to get rid of the baby so he will have no worries and when he next meets a girl he wont have to tell her about his baby on the way! Arent some men selfish pigs.................

Her now ex boyfriend has convinced her that she will be on her own and have basically a ****e life!! This is because he wants her to get rid of the baby so he will have no worries and when he next meets a girl he wont have to tell her about his baby on the way! Arent some men selfish pigs.................

Tell her NOT to get rid of the baby, she'll regret it forever.

He sounds like a right planker.

Personally I wouldn't take on a girl with a child. This is because I do not feel emotionally secure yet to deal with that situation.

However, by no means have you ruined your life. I have friends who really don't mind.

However whilst pregant (if visable) you will be unapproachable as you will be assumed to be attached.

I'd love to meet her!!

I'd love to meet her!!

Why's that?

In my mind, the baby will act as an excellent muppet filter once it arrives. .

Hopefuls will run a mile if they aint mature/clever or enough of a man to deal with a chabby and rightly so. .

. . where as your "smarter than the average bear" mature real man would not be put off on first contact and wouldn't let that specifically ruin a possible future.

In my mind, the baby will act as an excellent muppet filter once it arrives. .

Hopefuls will run a mile if they aint mature/clever or enough of a man to deal with a chabby and rightly so. .

. . where as your "smarter than the average bear" mature real man would not be put off on first contact and wouldn't let that specifically ruin a possible future.

A poor post that smacks of the ramblings of a woman scorned (whether youre a female or not)....
Why is a person a muppet if they arent mature enough to want a child?
Do you have to be mature to want a child?
Do you have to be clever to deal with a child? (should mentally retarded people not be allowed children)
Whats a real man?

I agree that it might help filter out those who arent looking for a serious relationship, but we dont all go into relationships with a mission in mind so she may miss her perfect match

A poor post that smacks of the ramblings of a woman scorned (whether youre a female or not)....
Why is a person a muppet if they arent mature enough to want a child?
Do you have to be mature to want a child?

I thought munky's post was pretty much spot on - although perhaps the difference of opinion you've felt is because you were led to believe that only muppets don't want kids - that's not how I understood it to be written. I read it to mean that the situation would help 'filter' out people who aren't interested in a serious relationship - as the stakes are slightly higher when there is someone else (i.e. a baby/child) involved, I feel.

I thought munky's post was pretty much spot on - although perhaps the difference of opinion you've felt is because you were led to believe that only muppets don't want kids - that's not how I understood it to be written. I read it to mean that the situation would help 'filter' out people who aren't interested in a serious relationship - as the stakes are slightly higher when there is someone else (i.e. a baby/child) involved, I feel.
Thats how I read it too, and what Munky said is true. Someone elses child is a lot take on so only people serious about the mother in the first place will look to progress the relationship further.

Would normally avoid threads like this but just thought...in terms of our instincts, perhaps a pregnant woman is more attractive to the male as this proves she is fecund and able to bear his offspring in the future and carry his genes into the next generation.

Just a guess really.

PS is fecund a word?

I would never instantly go for a woman who is pregnent or has a young child but if she was special then i like to think i would be mature enough to handle it:thumbsup:

and carry his genes into the next generation.
Just a guess really.


Now if youd said 'iron his jeans', as well as wash his shirts etc, she would be doubly attractive :D

Tell her NOT to get rid of the baby, she'll regret it forever.

He sounds like a right planker.

Is it any choice but hers?

Do we have the right to tell her what to do?

If she wants the baby by all means she should, if she doesn't, she shouldn't. None of us, whether it be the ex-boyfriend, parents, other authority figures or us have that right.

Wilf, Pro-choice and proud

Is it any choice but hers?

Do we have the right to tell her what to do?

If she wants the baby by all means she should, if she doesn't, she shouldn't. None of us, whether it be the ex-boyfriend, parents, other authority figures or us have that right.

Wilf, Pro-choice and proud

If she gets rid of a child because her ex boyfriend wants her too then she'll regret it forever.

I didnt mean to sound it like 'tell her' but it just hit a nerve, with her ex saying she shouldnt keep it.

If she gets rid of a child because her ex boyfriend wants her too then she'll regret it forever.

I didnt mean to sound it like 'tell her' but it just hit a nerve, with her ex saying she shouldnt keep it.

You're absolutely right that her ex doesn't and shouldn't have a choice in the matter but we're no better if we tell people what to do.

Wilf

You're absolutely right that her ex doesn't and shouldn't have a choice in the matter but we're no better if we tell people what to do.

Wilf

Thats why I said I didnt mean it to sound like you should 'tell her'

Would normally avoid threads like this but just thought...in terms of our instincts, perhaps a pregnant woman is more attractive to the male as this proves she is fecund and able to bear his offspring in the future and carry his genes into the next generation.

Just a guess really.

PS is fecund a word?

This is the last thing on a young blokes mind when meeting a lass :D

There was a thread on here a while back, 'how does a single dad meet women'...

Love is in the air, do do do do do dooo

:)

There was a thread on here a while back, 'how does a single dad meet women'...

Love is in the air, do do do do do dooo

:)

:hihi: Kathy the Matchmaker!

:hihi: Kathy the Matchmaker!

She can matchmake for me anytime! :hihi:

Wilf

im not sure about actually being pregnant but although i thought that it would, ive found that it doesnt put all guys off when a lass has a baby. although im not single... ive found it to be the case so far