Inspired by the SATs this week and comments from young foxcub who is feeling the pressure. I ask you this question..

From the minute our children are born some parents feel the need for them to be the first,fastest, brightest, sportiest, most academic child of all.

They take great delight in trying to outdo other childrens achievements from the apgar test to potty training and walking to what degree qualifications they get.

Why, do we bring lovely free happy children into the world and then constantly compare them to others. If they are not up to speed we push and push to make them better.

I would be interested what teachers think about this as well.

Why, do we bring lovely free happy children into the world and then constantly compare them to others.


For the same reason they buy a bigger house, or a new car, or go to "that gorgeous little unspoilt town in Tuscany, you know, where no English tourists go ?"

To show-off and brag to their mates.

Inspired by the SATs this week and comments from young foxcub who is feeling the pressure. I ask you this question..

From the minute our children are born some parents feel the need for them to be the first,fastest, brightest, sportiest, most academic child of all.

They take great delight in trying to outdo other childrens achievements from the apgar test to potty training and walking to what degree qualifications they get.

Why, do we bring lovely free happy children into the world and then constantly compare them to others. If they are not up to speed we push and push to make them better.

I would be interested what teachers think about this as well.

Due to the education ethos I work in it's very rare. Saying that though I do understand what you are ****ing about and it's the worst thing possible for children.

why does **** (t-a-l-k) keep getting censored ?

have you seen what it's done to Titians sig, it looks realy rude now :) ?

From BBC website:

"I am absolutely sickened by the pressure put upon 11 year olds over these exams, my son is giving up on education and his work is suffering all round.

His peers who have very pushy parents are constantly comparing their performance in practice test papers finding out their results and spending their playtime going over and over it all.

My son's results were thrown back at him and he was called dumbo!!":shakes:

"Overbearing parents who shout at children and fight over who wins mothers' and fathers' races are ruining school sports days, Nowadays, some parents have a highly competitive attitude to life and are neurotic about their children succeeding at everything they attempt. It is spoiling the whole thing ":rolleyes:

Its wrong... all wrong :(

Due to the education ethos I work in it's very rare. Saying that though I do understand what you are ****ing about and it's the worst thing possible for children.

I know you work within a great setting titian. Unfortunately its the parents who panic if little Janey can't write legibly by the age of 4, not the childcare professionals. They believe the cock and bull story that other parents say.

One woman whos child was in the same class as DS dragged her out of the school because she was 'gifted' (at 5!) and needed more attention. I did a school outing with this child, she was frustrated as her mum was constantly tutoring her. :rolleyes: So behaved badly. The real reason she was taken from the school is that she would play up at school because she was sick of learning!

I won the 'dads' race at my daughters previous school in Yr1. Then again I was the only dad who entered, says a lot about where we used to live before Sheffield.

I won the 'dads' race at my daughters previous school in Yr1. Then again I was the only dad who entered, says a lot about where we used to live before Sheffield.

lol .. you mean you tripped up all the other dads ;) Should have raced the ladies they would have knocked you into a cocked hat. :hihi:

I did trip up on my victory lap ;)

Why, do we bring lovely free happy children into the world and then constantly compare them to others. If they are not up to speed we push and push to make them better.



This paragraph suggests that you believe that children are not naturally competitive and would be happier if competitiveness wasn't instilled by over-eager parents.

My son, who is not yet 4, loves to compete. Often, the only way to get any co-operation is to introduce an element of competition. I.e. "Lets see how quickly you can get dressed." works so much better than "Please can you get dressed now?"

There's also the issue of a child finding out about their environment and their place within it. Who or what is faster, stronger, softer, etc.

Also there's the satisfaction of doing something well and to be acknowledged for doing so. Children are encouraged to develop by praising them when they've done well. Again this would appear a natural way for parents and children to interact.

I hope that I won't be considered a pushy parent, but I do believe that competition will help in my son's development and enable him to derive greater satisfaction and enjoyment from the process.

Games with a small child as you describe are just that games with a satisfactory end result.

I'm sure when your child gets into the school system and is judged by other parents constantly as either a benchmark to pass or an example of what happens if you don't study you may have a different opinion.

I don't think you are pushy and a natural ability to compete should be encouraged but not to such an extent where it becomes more important for the parent than the child.

So many children suffer in silence because they don't want to let down their parent who has very high (and sometimes unreasonable) expectations for them. :(

there's nothing wrong with instilling a sense of joy at achievment in your child, but if you push the idea that they must be the best, fastest, highest jumping, cleverest, most artistic etc etc.. you risk them coming down with a very hefty bump should they turn out not to be any of those....

for my daughter, as long as she tries her hardest, and gives of her best, and can still be happy and carefree, that is absolutely fine with me.

Thats for that Sharpsinger, I thought I was being misunderstood as a liberal do-gooder ;)

Thats for that Sharpsinger, I thought I was being misunderstood as a liberal do-gooder ;)

no fox, I think you and I think along very similar lines, comes from being born so close together, its the collective consciousness/conscience :D

Thats it! lol I never realised you were also an aged aquarian :hihi:

Must have been something in the water that year or we are just dippy hippies ;)

Thats it! lol I never realised you were also an aged aquarian :hihi:

Must have been something in the water that year or we are just dippy hippies ;)


if you were born in jessop hospital fox, its not impossible that we were screaming our lungs out on the same ward, I think i'm 2 days older than you :)

and if being a right thinking , caring individual makes us dippy hippies, well hey, love and peace maaaan!! :D

I have never indulged in this type of activity. It just causes unease and resentment. My children will do what they are meant to do, at the time that is good for them. If they can't do one particluar thing, maybe the excell at something else? And that might be in a completely different field. Sometimes children express emotions better than they can draw faces; people don't always see that.

I won the 'dads' race at my daughters previous school in Yr1. Then again I was the only dad who entered, says a lot about where we used to live before Sheffield.

....it says a lot about the competitive world in which we live, when a guy will enter a race when there's no chance of losing! :hihi:

Ps, did they make you run? (I do hope so) or just go straight to the victor's lap? Bet it was lonely on that ol' podium!

Back to being competitive with one's children, I couldn't BELIEVE the pressure as soon as the poor little beast was born - all those centile (or whatever they were called) graph thingies, then raising the head, following mum with the eyes, the weighing....some of the mums used to get really down when their precious one wasn't conforming to the norm.

And yes, it gets worse as they grow. The only solution is to like your kid as he/she is, and genuinely not care about the rest. Tho, if you don't care enough, it could make your child think that performing well at school doesn't matter. And, it does, it does. They need to be able to get a job that reflects their intelligence and ability or they'll be frustrated in later life and unfulfilled.

Gosh, it's hard being a parent! :)

why does **** (t-a-l-k) keep getting censored ?

have you seen what it's done to Titians sig, it looks realy rude now :) ?

lol!!!! :hihi: :hihi: :hihi: it took me a few mins to realize what you were ****ing about then but i got it lol!!! very good for noticing :thumbsup:

I have never indulged in this type of activity. It just causes unease and resentment. My children will do what they are meant to do, at the time that is good for them. If they can't do one particluar thing, maybe the excell at something else? And that might be in a completely different field. Sometimes children express emotions better than they can draw faces; people don't always see that.
im in total argreement with you on this lizz hun :thumbsup:

why does **** (t-a-l-k) keep getting censored ?

have you seen what it's done to Titians sig, it looks realy rude now :) ?


FANTASTIC!!

I know you work within a great setting titian. Unfortunately its the parents who panic if little Janey can't write legibly by the age of 4, not the childcare professionals. They believe the cock and bull story that other parents say.



I meant our parents too. It's difficult for parents not to fall into that trap and the only way to prevent it is by educating them too. Luckily in the main our parents come to us through our ethos so not much explaining about this subject has to go on. They tend to come as they feel the same way.

If it's a problem in a setting could you do a parents evening and **** about this subject? I'd be willing to help you prepare something if you need help, although I'm sure you have it pretty much pinned down anyway.
:)

FANTASTIC!!

"It is more fun to **** with someone who doesn't use long, difficult words but rather short, easy words like "What about lunch?" "

It's excellent, Titian. Puts a whole new perspective on the phrase, 'fancy a ****?' Or, I really love you but can't we just **** now?'

Such a pleasure when the forum managers put this kind of thing on a plate for us, isn't it?
:P

"It is more fun to **** with someone who doesn't use long, difficult words but rather short, easy words like "What about lunch?" "

It's excellent, Titian. Puts a whole new perspective on the phrase, 'fancy a ****?' Or, I really love you but can't we just **** now?'

Such a pleasure when the forum managers put this kind of thing on a plate for us, isn't it?
:P

Doesn't quite work for "**** the **** but can't walk the walk" though does it?

:huh:

Oh but.... "I was having a **** with my boss today and I got a payrise"

Doesn't quite work for "**** the **** but can't walk the walk" though does it?

:huh:

Oh but.... "I was having a **** with my boss today and I got a payrise"

It's apparently Geoff who has to sort this out. Maybe he's too busy ****ing to deal with it? Oh, I know it's juvenile. But hey, someone has to do it....:hihi: