Having been brought up at the time of HIV appearing in the 80's, it is something that has always been there for me. We were taught about it in school, and there were big campaigns around then warning about it. Not a lot seems to happen now.

The figures showed last week that there has been a large increase in the numbers of people being HIV positive in Sheffield. There are now 349 people in the city that are infected, not many when you think how many people live in the city, but would you know who they are? And you only know if you have it by being tested, so numbers are thought to be as much as 30% higher.

Do you think about the person next person (new partner) may be infected and take precautions or do you just not care?

Yep, always always always... :D You'd have to be mad not to!

Originally posted by caprice
Yep, always always always... :D You'd have to be mad not to!

Even with your own boyfriend/girlfriend, knowing each of you are 100% faithful?

Originally posted by t020
Even with your own boyfriend/girlfriend, knowing each of you are 100% faithful?

Are you absolutly certain that they didn't already have it????

I think it should be a requirement to be tested every few years or something like that.

Does not having a lot of sex count?

Originally posted by fuzzy
And you only know if you have it by being tested, so numbers are thought to be as much as 30% higher.
This is a sort of split topic so apologies in advance but in terms of the testing side of things...

I would actively LIKE to get regularly tested but simply haven't because, as I understand it, I could actually drive up my health insurance by making a request of my GP.. forget the result, just by ASKING to be tested.. and automatically you are assumed to be taking risks..

Total insanity... and then add to that, the fact that if you give blood, etc.. your blood gets tested but you cannot be told if it turns out positive... Is it just me or is this completely insane!.. Your insurance company can, but you can't?!


Entirely possible that my information is out of date but its silliness like this that doesn't help people be more responsible...


.. and for the record, in serious, long term relationships the gloves often come off, so's to speak... I'm sure that goes for a lot of people...

i have it on good authority, that asking for a HIV test as well as other std tests can affect your insurance premium, as it apparently reflects that you a a promiscuous person. I can also affect your chances of getting certain jobs, such as with the MOD. Even though people believe that medical records are completely confidential, they're not.
OK that should make everyone a bit paranoid anyway.

I was under the impression that if you had a test at the clinic your GP is only told if you ask them to be. Anyone know for sure?

Even with your own boyfriend/girlfriend, knowing each of you are 100% faithful?

Yep, even then... Especially when you don't know who their previous partners are and whether or not they practice safe sex...

Originally posted by fuzzy
I was under the impression that if you had a test at the clinic your GP is only told if you ask them to be. Anyone know for sure?

Yes, i do believe that certain clinics are completely confidential. It's only GP's that can divulge information to certain authorities

Originally posted by t020
Even with your own boyfriend/girlfriend, knowing each of you are 100% faithful?

It's got nothing to do with being faithful t020. That is exactly the kind of ignorance that Fuzzy is talking about.

It can take 5 years for HIV to make itself known.

Originally posted by Tony
It's got nothing to do with being faithful t020. That is exactly the kind of ignorance that Fuzzy is talking about.

It can take 5 years for HIV to make itself known.
Also the issue isn't just sexual... it's about infection from other sources as well...

We probably all know the list of non sexual ways it can be received... but just thought it'd be worth pointing out the obvious as it had escaped my own attention in this topic because of the title...

Says a lot when you think about it... :(

Originally posted by fuzzy
Having been brought up at the time of HIV appearing in the 80's, it is something that has always been there for me. We were taught about it in school, and there were big campaigns around then warning about it. Not a lot seems to happen now.

The figures showed last week that there has been a large increase in the numbers of people being HIV positive in Sheffield. There are now 349 people in the city that are infected, not many when you think how many people live in the city, but would you know who they are? And you only know if you have it by being tested, so numbers are thought to be as much as 30% higher.

Do you think about the person next person (new partner) may be infected and take precautions or do you just not care?

Never have it, don't know what you mean, what is sex???:confused: :confused: :confused:

Originally posted by Martin_s
Also the issue isn't just sexual... it's about infection from other sources as well...

We probably all know the list of non sexual ways it can be received... but just thought it'd be worth pointing out the obvious as it had escaped my own attention in this topic because of the title...

Says a lot when you think about it... :(

I know there are other ways of catching it but the most obvious one for most of us is through sexual contact (we all seem to quite obsessed with sex in here). So i just wondered if people took the care to not get infected.

I think they should bring back the scary adverts they had when we were young.

I think the age that think about it most are the 30 somethings that were around when it all started, and it was mainly a gay disease then. Not like now.

I don't practise sex full stop. Does that mean I have to vote 'no' or 'other'? :confused:

Originally posted by fuzzy

I think they should bring back the scary adverts they had when we were young.

I think the age that think about it most are the 30 somethings that were around when it all started, and it was mainly a gay disease then. Not like now.

Yeah i remember it being a big thing when i was at school. Was about 7 or 8 at the time and i was scared i would get aids. wasn't even sure what it was then. I was also scared that doing gcse's would make me kill myself. hmm, i think i had issues when i was 8 come to think of it.

Having said that, sex education is still taught including all STDs which is ok.

Is swinging from the chandeliers deemed safe? I always ensure there's a good woman there to catch me :)

Ha Ha good to see everyone is taking it seriously :mad:

Isn't that the point though, you have to take it seriously, but it's supposed to fun aswell, otherwise what's the point?

Fuzzy I think that the fact that the teenage pregnancy rate being at an all time high tells you that there is more unprotected sex than ever going on.

Yes a thought i had had too. Shows no thought for any life there. Maybe it is time for a new education campaign to happen.

Im 20 and we never had sex education at school-apart from being 9 and we got showed a video with two robots (which, turned out to be more worrying than anything).

This all might explain why in my estimations over 1/4 of my yeargroup now have children. hmmm

Originally posted by fuzzy
Are you absolutly certain that they didn't already have it????

Definitely.

Originally posted by caprice
Yep, even then... Especially when you don't know who their previous partners are and whether or not they practice safe sex...

If they'd definitely not had previous partners though. No one still uses condoms when they've been in a relationship for years. Like martin said, the "gloves" come off. The woman usually goes on the pill unless the couple want a baby, but long term partners who trust each other and are serious about each other, and have been with each other for years, don't generally use condoms. You will find this to be the case when you get older and have more life experience.

Originally posted by t020
If they'd definitely not had previous partners though. No one still uses condoms when they've been in a relationship for years. Like martin said, the "gloves" come off. The woman usually goes on the pill unless the couple want a baby, but long term partners who trust each other and are serious about each other, and have been with each other for years, don't generally use condoms. You will find this to be the case when you get older and have more life experience.

Martin may have said that, but if you are realistic then anyone that has unprotected sex at any stage can have it? It does not put you at less risk if you have been with that partner for a few years even if you have been faithful. Do you think it goes away if you stay faithful? Because it seems to be. And that is the wrong impression to have.

Originally posted by fuzzy
Martin may have said that, but if you are realistic then anyone that has unprotected sex at any stage can have it? It does not put you at less risk if you have been with that partner for a few years even if you have been faithful. Do you think it goes away if you stay faithful? Because it seems to be. And that is the wrong impression to have.

No, I don't think that. I think that I know my partner is faithful to me, hadn't "had" anyone before me, and have been together years - I'm not likely to wear a condom under these conditions, and not many people would. By what you're saying, you're implying that everyone wears a condom everytime they have sex, even if they've been married 20 years or something. That just doesn't happen. What do you do when you want to have kids? Both go for HIV tests before you dare lose the rubber?! Come off it.

It is your choice.
Had you ever been with anyone else? You say your g/f hadn't, so she was safe.

Originally posted by fuzzy
It is your choice.
Had you ever been with anyone else? You say your g/f hadn't, so she was safe.

No I hadn't. Am I to presume you and your partner both went for HIV tests before daring to ditch the rubber and conceive. Can just imagine that little conversation.... "darling, we've been seeing each other/married a long time now. I think I'm ready for kids, so are you coming to the STD clinic with me so I can check you're safe without a rubber on?"

If they'd definitely not had previous partners though

and what if that isn't the case?

i just want to remind every one that there is no such thing as safe sex only safer sex!

I haven't voted because I'm not sure what the term "safe sex" means. Does it mean having sex with only one person who has also never had sex with anyone else? Or does it mean always using a condom even with someone you have been living with for years?

Originally posted by fuzzy
I know there are other ways of catching it but the most obvious one for most of us is through sexual contact (we all seem to quite obsessed with sex in here). So i just wondered if people took the care to not get infected.
In coutries like Africa sex is the main way AIDS/HIV is passed on. However, I think you'll find that in western countries, including the UK, most new cases are junkies.

That of course doesn't mean people shouldn't still practice "safe" sex!

The safest of all - none I'm afraid.

Originally posted by magicgem
Im 20 and we never had sex education at school-apart from being 9 and we got showed a video with two robots

They showed you the video for Byork's 'All is Full of Love'?

Seems a bit inappropriate :)

Originally posted by caprice
and what if that isn't the case?

It is.

The simple fact is that some of us have had long term partners for so long now, and trust each other so much that we have no concern for ourselves through sexually transmitted HIV as we are monogamous and enjoying it!

Yep many of us do, but what did you do when you 1st met? and when and why did you decide it was all safe?

Originally posted by t020
You will find this to be the case when you get older and have more life experience.

The arrogance of this statement is breathtaking! :o

Originally posted by t020
No, I don't think that. I think that I know my partner is faithful to me, hadn't "had" anyone before me, and have been together years - I'm not likely to wear a condom under these conditions, and not many people would. By what you're saying, you're implying that everyone wears a condom everytime they have sex, even if they've been married 20 years or something. That just doesn't happen. What do you do when you want to have kids? Both go for HIV tests before you dare lose the rubber?! Come off it.

t020, you will realise when you get older and have a little more life experience that...

You're missing a very big issue here though. YOU only know what your partner of the moment tells you.

The trouble with that is that people lie.

Your partner may well have someone on the side that you don't know about while you're at college. You won't find out, because they certainly aren't going to tell you anytime soon - they are having too much fun getting sweaty jiggy jiggy while you slave in a sweaty lecture theatre.

YOU have no idea that you're getting infected, and are living in a sublime ignorance that you will be dead within 7 years.

Originally posted by t020
No, I don't think that. I think that I know my partner is faithful to me, hadn't "had" anyone before me, and have been together years - I'm not likely to wear a condom under these conditions, and not many people would. By what you're saying, you're implying that everyone wears a condom everytime they have sex, even if they've been married 20 years or something. That just doesn't happen. What do you do when you want to have kids? Both go for HIV tests before you dare lose the rubber?! Come off it.

I think the biggest part of this quote is the ' i think my partner' this says it all T020

Originally posted by spook
The arrogance of this statement is breathtaking! :o

Stick around. You'll get used to it. ;)

Nomme

Originally posted by Tony
t020, you will realise when you get older and have a little more life experience that...

You're missing a very big issue here though. YOU only know what your partner of the moment tells you.

The trouble with that is that people lie.

Your partner may well have someone on the side that you don't know about while you're at college. You won't find out, because they certainly aren't going to tell you anytime soon - they are having too much fun getting sweaty jiggy jiggy while you slave in a sweaty lecture theatre.

YOU have no idea that you're getting infected, and are living in a sublime ignorance that you will be dead within 7 years.

I think that if you find out straight away and get the right treatment you can live for 10 years or longer now Tony, but you have to find out.

Originally posted by spook
The arrogance of this statement is breathtaking! :o

It is the only way he does anything for the women (and many men) on here. :D :D

Originally posted by t020
No I hadn't. Am I to presume you and your partner both went for HIV tests before daring to ditch the rubber and conceive. Can just imagine that little conversation.... "darling, we've been seeing each other/married a long time now. I think I'm ready for kids, so are you coming to the STD clinic with me so I can check you're safe without a rubber on?"

Actually we didn't , because he was a virgin when i met him and i had always been careful so it wasn't a problem.

I have since had a 2 tests, 1 because of him though (if you want more details PM me) and one because i had a needle stick injury at work (clean needle trying to get out of sheath), but still had to have it done.
My biggest risk came from my work because i worked with samples from pregant ladies. Made me think though whenever one came in that was high risk for any reason i was not allowed to deal with it as a technician, it had to be a scientist.:loopy: :loopy: They have all had unprotected sex, which makes them all a risk surely :loopy:

The funniest group to get to take this seriously is the people 45ish now, some don't believe it exsists, and if they do it won't get them.:loopy:

Have to say I've been watching this thread with some interest now and whilst I can't fault the altruism inherent in the thread I can't help but be honest either.

First off, I'm well aware that attitudes NEED to change so that someone does take precautions for a lot longer.. Also the legislation also needs to change to stop the current practice of "ask for a test = risk" which just compounds the problem IMHO...


BUT.. at the same time and to be blunt as hell, if I honestly thought I'd spend the rest of my life using a condom with a life or long term partner I'd be dismayed...

For one it shows a distinct lack of trust (that they don't/won't play away) which is an important part of a relationship and secondly, it really does make a significant difference to the whole enjoyment... I'd rather not go into details as to why that's the case for me (it's personal!) but for me it's certainly true..


I'll be completely honest.. I've taken risks, and yes I do wonder, and often think.. WTF was I thinking?.. or more accurately WAS I thinking?...

Bottom line though, I think it's unrealistic to pursue the approach that barrier contraception is a must for numerous years of a relationship and some of the arguements being used could equally be applied to a failing relationship or one where a partner is blissfully unaware of their other halfs infidelity... Hopefully at least the one playing away is insisting on safety first...


Right now, I'd be a heck of a lot happier I could approach my GP and ask for a series of tests for peace of mind if nought else (I have had a job that placed me at risk of Hep C, A, B, and numerous other wonderful bugs) without fear of discrimination and then ensure that I moved a steady relationship forward from safe barrier contraception to erm.. well nekked sex using the pill (male or female)... Still involves the trust aspect but it certainly seems like a smarter plan...


That's my thoughts on it anyways...

I agree Martin, condoms i don't think are anyones favourite. But the are they safest thing to use in situations where required.

But where do you draw the line that they are not required?

Trust is a big part of a relationship and i belive that i have that with my partner at present, i trust him.

Even if there was no disrimination then would people have the tests done? or would they be too scared? And how many people will admit it?

Just came across this:

http://www.crush-onu.co.uk/sheff.html

From the page:

"The following Sexual Health Centres are for all young men and women, and they offer FREE and CONFIDENTIAL information/advice on contraception, pregnancy, abortion, sexual health, safer sex, sexuality and relationships:

Condoms, Emergency Contraception and Sexual Health advice and information available free to 15 to 19 year olds - Click Here to download a list of participating pharmacists or call NHS Direct on
0845 46 47"

Nomme

Originally posted by fuzzy
But where do you draw the line that they are not required?
... and that's where this discussion is sticking really isn't it...

From an altruistic, logical perspective, I've probably already answered that... ie: when you've both tested out as being free and clear... so we're probably talking at least a year in... with the first 6 months building up to the.. "so are we steady or not?" question...

Practically speaking though it's more likely to be without a test as much because it's awkward.. the insinuation of a relationship being longer term or even permanent, scared of putting pressure on, etc... yes, I know compared to a life threatening disease it pales but be honest.. the here and now scariness of a relationship breaking down because of pressures, probably don't allow it to be seen that way, except in very confident individuals.


Even if there was no disrimination then would people have the tests done? or would they be too scared? And how many people will admit it? [/B]
Speaking for myself... IF there was confidentiality and none of this current stupidity then I'd have no qualms about getting tested... As it is, I'm thinking along the lines of a full medical anyway (chalk that up to a mid life crisis ;))


BUT I'll readily admit that many wouldn't.. and on top of that there's many who would then ignore the test result if it came back positive and think "live for today" ignoring the consequences to others...

At the end of the day though, if the younger generation are the ones who are recognising the need for it and talking like Caprice and SIH then there's still hope..

Originally posted by fuzzy
Actually we didn't , because he was a virgin when i met him and i had always been careful so it wasn't a problem.




Are you sure? You only know what he told you, afterall, and according to Tony, we shouldn't trust anyone and should forever wear condoms just incase ones partner is a cheating liar.

Originally posted by Martin_s

Speaking for myself... IF there was confidentiality and none of this current stupidity then I'd have no qualms about getting tested... As it is, I'm thinking along the lines of a full medical anyway (chalk that up to a mid life crisis ;))

Right. I've just spoken to someone at the GUM dept at the Hallamshire hospital. Contact info here (ring them yourself if you don't believe me).

http://www.sexualhealthsheffield.co.uk/sheffield/gum.shtml

She assured me that any testing is entirely confidential and that their records are available to no one outside of their department and that will not even tell your GP. So you really don't have any excuse to not got tested should you desire. This goes for any STD not just HIV.
For what it's worth, I had a test done there some years ago and in my experience can confirm this to be the case and that they offer an extremely professional service.

Sorry, but I cannot sit here while you propogate this myth about increased insurance premiums and confidentiality.

Nomme

good topic, have read the thread and i know that this thread is focused on HIV but also all these ppl that arent using condoms at all etc, arent worrie about HIV well what about pregnancy?? is noone bothered if their partner accidently gets pregnant, not very responsible is it? sorry if this isnt an issue on this thread but i felt that i should bring it up. i always use a condom and always will unless i am trying to conceive. i trust my partner but i dont trust his ex partners.

Originally posted by nomme
(snip on useful info.. )

For what it's worth, I had a test done there some years ago and in my experience can confirm this to be the case and that they offer an extremely professional service.
Ok.. thanks for that.... much appreciated.

Sorry, but I cannot sit here while you propogate this myth about increased insurance premiums and confidentiality.
In part it isn't a myth as the GP side of things is most peoples natural port of call for anything health related... BUT knowing that there is a confidential service that can handle it... well you've pretty much solved any problems I had in this vein.

So, gladly corrected and thanks for finding that lot out... :)


Oh and t020... respect is a 2 way thing... if you want people to respect your opinion, show a little for that of others instead of your insistence on hair splitting and loophole finding.. It's irritating and unnecessary in the extreme.. But then you already know that... :rolleyes:

Originally posted by fuzzy
I was under the impression that if you had a test at the clinic your GP is only told if you ask them to be. Anyone know for sure?

I did suggest this here. But one of mine was done at the GU clinic, where i was told that my GP would only be told if i asked for them to be but this was 9 years ago, and the other at Hospital Occupational Health.

Originally posted by mimicraze
good topic, have read the thread and i know that this thread is focused on HIV but also all these ppl that arent using condoms at all etc, arent worrie about HIV well what about pregnancy?? is noone bothered if their partner accidently gets pregnant, not very responsible is it? sorry if this isnt an issue on this thread but i felt that i should bring it up. i always use a condom and always will unless i am trying to conceive. i trust my partner but i dont trust his ex partners.

Maybe the people who choose to forgo the condom with longer term partners use alternative means of contraception...

What is the rate of false positives with the common HIV tests? I was under the impression that it was fairly high.

Interesting factoid. Many of the drugs used to treat HIV and AIDS were developed in the 60's as anti-cancer drugs. They were never allowed to be used because they were so aggressive they seriously damaged the health of the patient.

I think the poll is giving interesting results.

Two people have replied 'Why? It won't happen to me' Is this through ignorance? or because they have never had a sexual partner and don't intend to? or always been with the same person(and were both virgins) for years and years.

And the Nos are they for the same reason too?

Originally posted by fuzzy
Two people have replied 'Why? It won't happen to me' Is this through ignorance?
Don't wish to rain on the parade Fuzz but chances are very high that there's a high troll factor with people deliberately being obtuse just to prove they don't take it seriously...

Either way, it's been beneficial to me so thanks for bringing it up :)

Originally posted by t020
Are you sure? You only know what he told you, afterall, and according to Tony, we shouldn't trust anyone and should forever wear condoms just incase ones partner is a cheating liar. Now that isn't what I said was it? I was merely pointing out your rather charming naivity. :thumbsup:

Originally posted by Tony
Now that isn't what I said was it? I was merely pointing out your rather charming naivity. :thumbsup:


Not naive at all. I have complete trust in my partner. If I didn't trust her what would be the point anyway? Are men supposed to wear condoms forever on the off chance that their women have had affairs?

Originally posted by t020
Are you sure? You only know what he told you, afterall, and according to Tony, we shouldn't trust anyone and should forever wear condoms just incase ones partner is a cheating liar.
It's not the sort of thing you'd admit to unless it was true.

Originally posted by t020
Not naive at all. I have complete trust in my partner. If I didn't trust her what would be the point anyway? Are men supposed to wear condoms forever on the off chance that their women have had affairs?
:D You;re still doing it !! Charming!! :)

Anyway, more pertinantly, you're having 2 discussions and transposing them onto each other which gives a rather confused message.

You're personal relationship is lovely for you, but I was using it to demonstrate that people lie in relationships, especially if they have something to hide. That's a very good way of spreading HIV.

You're too young to rememeber the fuss when AIDS came into being in the 80's because you probably weren't even born. You just have no idea what Fuzzy means really, simply because you have no experience and that is Fuzzy's basic point I think.

Ignorance (typically like yours) isnt bliss with HIV & AIDS.

Originally posted by Sidla
It's not the sort of thing you'd admit to unless it was true.


So Sidlas guide to a relationship = assume she's lying until proven otherwise? 20 years down the line when she wonders why I still insist on wearing a condom, what do I say? "I daren't take it off because you're probably having an affair, and if you say you aren't you're lying."

Originally posted by t020
So Sidlas guide to a relationship = assume she's lying until proven otherwise? 20 years down the line when she wonders why I still insist on wearing a condom, what do I say? "I daren't take it off because you're probably having an affair, and if you say you aren't you're lying."
t020... if you'd actually read some of the points I was putting across you'd note that I was in part supporting part of your arguement about "not going gloved up forever"...

... but typically you're picking one small loophole or point in the whole arguement to try and come out on top.. yet again.

When he's been through the ups and downs of a few more relationships he will understand a bit better.

Originally posted by t020
So Sidlas guide to a relationship = assume she's lying until proven otherwise? 20 years down the line when she wonders why I still insist on wearing a condom, what do I say? "I daren't take it off because you're probably having an affair, and if you say you aren't you're lying."
EDIT:

I actually meant that someone wouldn't say they were a virgin if it wasn't true.

Originally posted by Tony
When he's been through the ups and downs of a few more relationships he will understand a bit better.

Who's the patronising one again?

People who are in long term relationships for years, who trust each other completely, and can't forsee splitting up, very rarely use condoms. Of course this isn't 100% "safe" as there is always the risk of previous partners (if any), and affairs (if any), but somewhere along the line you have to start trusting, stop worrying, and start living, otherwise whats the point in avoiding fatal diseases anyway if you're so frightened to live life? Its like never boarding airplanes incase they get hijacked. Most people in a relationship will get to a stage where they trust each other to not have to use condoms, and obviously if kids come into the equation condoms CAN'T be used. Should people who want kids go to have HIV tests before losing the condoms? What if their partner has a quickie affair between the HIV test and conceiving the child? You just can't live like that, otherwise whats the point in staying alive anyway?

Originally posted by t020
Who's the patronising one again?
Errr... the one with the short memeory.
Originally posted by t020
Does Tony Wony get upsetty wetty
Anyway...
Originally posted by t020
People who are in long term relationships for years, who trust each other completely, and can't forsee splitting up, very rarely use condoms. Of course this isn't 100% "safe" as there is always the risk of previous partners (if any), and affairs (if any), but somewhere along the line you have to start trusting, stop worrying, and start living, otherwise whats the point in avoiding fatal diseases anyway if you're so frightened to live life?

I agree with you to a point. However, you seem to have an "I'm alright Jack" attitude to other peoples concerns because you have a nice cosy relationship. That completely ignores the very real concerns that are founded on the reality of life in the big bad world. HIV & AIDS is a very real issue that kills MILLIONS each year.

Let me give you some REAL life and death statistics

As of the end of 2003, an estimated 40 million people worldwide - 37 million adults and 2.5 million children younger than 15 years - were living with HIV/AIDS. Approximately two-thirds of these people (26.6 million) live in Sub-Saharan Africa; another 18 percent (7.4 million) live in Asia and the Pacific.

Worldwide, approximately 11 of every 1000 adults aged 15 to 49 are HIV-infected. In Sub-Saharan Africa, about 8 percent of all adults in this age group are HIV-infected.

An estimated 5 million new HIV infections occurred worldwide during 2003; that is, about 14,000 infections each day. More than 95 percent of these new infections occurred in developing countries, and nearly 50 percent were among females.

In 2003, approximately 2,000 children under the age of 15 years, and 6,000 young people aged 15 to 24 years became infected with HIV every day.

In 2003 alone, HIV/AIDS-associated illnesses caused the deaths of approximately 3 million people worldwide, including an estimated 500,000 children younger than 15 years

Source - US Dpt of Health (http://www.niaid.nih.gov/factsheets/aidsstat.htm)


Frightened? You should be.

This is not getting on an aeroplane (what a daft analogy that was). It is a one way ticket that you have only 1 way of possibly avoiding if circumstances dictate that you're in a position to be infected. The hard truth is that you just DO NOT KNOW if you are in that position. Safe sex or no sex are the only genuine (partial) safeties.

This is an important matter, and I think that Fuzzy was interested in educating people again, especially children and youths and young adults who collectively have virtually no knowledge.

What would you do think is a way of increasing that knowledge of the risks?

How about having a debate about what others are interested in too instead of just making crass comments that just show your youth?

*Patronising yet kindly mode on* You WILL find it's different and that you have to have different attitudes to personal and wider responsibility as you get older, but right now you sound like a kid with no adult responsibilities who loves the attention of being responded to rather than being interested in knowledge enhancing ideas and thoughts from others. So there :thumbsup: *Patronising yet kindly mode off*

Originally posted by fuzzy
Having been brought up at the time of HIV appearing in the 80's, it is something that has always been there for me. We were taught about it in school, and there were big campaigns around then warning about it. Not a lot seems to happen now.

The figures showed last week that there has been a large increase in the numbers of people being HIV positive in Sheffield. There are now 349 people in the city that are infected, not many when you think how many people live in the city, but would you know who they are? And you only know if you have it by being tested, so numbers are thought to be as much as 30% higher.

Do you think about the person next person (new partner) may be infected and take precautions or do you just not care?

I AM CELIBATE!!!

Hmmm shud i really b here...?LOL

Tony, when people are undermining the trust in my own personal relationship then of course I will display an "I'm alright Jack" attitude since I will be forced to reiterate that trust and the issues involved. On a wider scale, of course I recognise that HIV and STDs in general are a problem, but if people insist on sleeping around like uncivilised animals and sleeping together on the first/second date before they even know each other, they have only themselves to blame.

You may well have valid issues in what you say, but you didn't express them very well. No-one was being personal until you cited your own circumstances. All that happened then was that it continued to be used as a good example.

Nobody was questioning your relationship, trust in your partner or even, heaven forfend, your virility!

... just your maturity and experience.

Anyway.. to try to move you on from valiantly defending the contents of your codpiece...

What would you do think is a way of increasing knowledge of the risks?

Originally posted by t020
on sleeping around like uncivilised animals and sleeping together on the first/second date before they even know each other.

A bit judgemental there. Just because it's not for you doesn't make it animal like.

all this talk takes the excitement and enjoyment of going out and getting down................................ :( but also a very good debate though....

In todays paper it says that for women it all starts in their mind anyhow so heres to all those whispering sweet nothings..... :)

ooo eerrrr misis!

Originally posted by t020
sleeping around like uncivilised animals and sleeping together on the first/second date before they even know each other, they have only themselves to blame.

I think one of the main points here is that even 'knowing each other' is not enough. It's knowing everyone that they've been with too!
The symptoms for HIV/AIDS can take MANY YEARS before they manifest themselves. So imagine this T020: for whatever reason you split up with your current partner and start seeing someone else who you really like and get on with. You feel you 'know each other'. She has had previous partners. At what point would you say it was OK to 'remove the gloves'?

Nomme

Originally posted by nomme
At what point would you say it was OK to 'remove the gloves'?

Nomme

But thats a stupid question. Surely you can see that? There isn't a timer when it becomes safe, and you can't do a sexual history check on your partner with 100% certainty. People just reach a point when they feel they're ready, and if they intend on having children, then it is also necessary.

Are you suggesting that couples shouldn't have children incase one is a big liar about their sexual history/affairs? Or are you saying that prior to conceiving, one of the partners should propose an STD check before "removing the gloves"?

Originally posted by t020
But thats a stupid question. Surely you can see that? There isn't a timer when it becomes safe, and you can't do a sexual history check on your partner with 100% certainty.
No it is not a stupid question? And surely you can see that.
You are quite right that there is not a timer and you cannot tell. That is the point. You can trust your partner but you can still both be checked. If your partner, loved you, and wanted to be with you and have sex with you without condoms then they would have tests done without question. If you are open and honest what have you to lose (except your gloves ;) ).

Originally posted by t020
People just reach a point when they feel they're ready,

Yes people do reach that point, and it is your choice to make your own decision about what you want to do. But do consider your partners feelings and do not be suprise if there is a suggestion of testing. It shows that they care about you and them, and there is real trust and feelings to make that suggestion.

Originally posted by t020
and if they intend on having children, then it is also necessary.

Well at least you had some kind of sex education to know what you have to do to have children (i think)

Originally posted by t020
Are you suggesting that couples shouldn't have children incase one is a big liar about their sexual history/affairs?

Noone is suggesting not having children, we would all die out. And noone is is suggesting that anyone is a big liar, only you are doing that.

Originally posted by t020
Or are you saying that prior to conceiving, one of the partners should propose an STD check before "removing the gloves"?

It is up to you T020, (you don't need to if you were both virgins as you said earlier), but if you believe you and your girlfriend/future wife have nothing to be scared of then why not?

I was brought up in a time when this was something that was going to explode and it has in some countries. Thankfully we have escaped here so far , but is it from people being sensible?

I am sorry but i like sex far too much to give it up because of being stupid. Also it would not just be my life i would be playing with, there is my partner and son to think about too.

Maybe in the future you will have to think about yours.

I'm sorry fuzzy, but whilst I agree with you in principle, the practicalities of most relationships mean that one partner asking the other to take STD tests would probably result in breaking up.... It would certainly cause a big row in most cases.

Suppose it depend on the partner you have, because a mature responsible one that does not want to use condoms will not object unless they have something to worry about.

They might take offence and think their partner doesn't trust them.

Originally posted by fuzzy
Suppose it depend on the partner you have, because a mature responsible one that does not want to use comdoms will not object unless they have something to worry about.

But like i said if they are mature and responsible they would not take offence. And they obviously don't care about you if they are not pepared to do it. How many years later would you like to find out that you were HIV positive?

Originally posted by fuzzy
But like i said if they are mature and responsible they would not take offence. And they obviously don't care about you if they are not pepared to do it. How many years later would you like to find out that you were HIV positive?

Don't "you" me! I'm 100% satisified that my partner doesn't have HIV for reasons previously stated. In general terms though, even if a couple do have HIV tests before having children/unprotected sex, whats to say that they won't have an affair in between the time of the test and the unprotected sex with their partner?

Originally posted by t020
Don't "you" me! I'm 100% satisified that my partner doesn't have HIV for reasons previously stated. In general terms though, even if a couple do have HIV tests before having children/unprotected sex, whats to say that they won't have an affair in between the time of the test and the unprotected sex with their partner?

So as (hopefully) mature, responsible people, partners should understand that regardless of virginity, promiscuity (lack of), previous safe sex practice, length of current relationship etc etc, one or both of you could have HIV without knowing it.(as has already been pointed out, sex isn't the only method of tranmission).

If both partners understand this, then having a mutual test is therefore not a trust issue, but a common sense issue when you consider the possibility exists that you could be unwittingly HIV+.

I acknowledge your point that having taken a mutual test, your partner may have an affair. Or having had clean tests your partner may have an affair in the future. You cannot cater for such circumstances unless you agree to regular testing, so trust has to play it's part hereon in. But offering up such what if's does not, IMO, make an initial, mutual test pointless.

Can someone clarify an earlier point. I give blood and was of the understanding that if I test positive for any virus (HIV, Hepatitus etc) then the blood service would let me know (maybe via my GP), or I would at the very least be refused from donating (which would spur me on to go see my doctor).

BTW - (Step onto high horse) re blood donation. Shame on those of us who can, but don't.(Step off high horse.)

I can't understand why everyone's getting at t020 in this topic, because I agree with what he is saying.

I'm fairly confident I'm not HIV positive because I've never had sex and as far as I'm aware, have never been exposed to any HIV risks. If I started seeing a girl, then there would be no way that I would demand that she went for an HIV test before having unprotected sex with her if she told me she was a virgin. And even if she wasn't a virgin, most people are aware of their sexual history and wether or not they are likely to be HIV positive.

Originally posted by t020
Don't "you" me! I'm 100% satisified that my partner doesn't have HIV for reasons previously stated. In general terms though, even if a couple do have HIV tests before having children/unprotected sex, whats to say that they won't have an affair in between the time of the test and the unprotected sex with their partner?
You may be "satisfied", but you cannot EVER be "sure". Remember, she might be getting jiggy jiggy (I love that phrase :)) while you're at college. That's what happens all the time in the grown up world. To deny that would be crass and immature, or at best ignorant.

Originally posted by Sidla
If I started seeing a girl, then there would be no way that I would demand that she went for an HIV test before having unprotected sex with her if she told me she was a virgin.

There would be nothing to stop you continuing with safe sex would there?

Originally posted by Sidla
And even if she wasn't a virgin, most people are aware of their sexual history and wether or not they are likely to be HIV positive.
There is always a time when people aren't aware that they are infected. That can be years BTW. You only need to have sex with an infected person once. That's it. The end. Finito.


It's interesting to see the knowledge and attitude gap between those in the 30's and those in their teens / 20's. I think that it speaks volumes that there really is an education problem.

Originally posted by t020
But thats a stupid question. Surely you can see that?


No, it's not a stupid question - it is a very simple question regarding how you would handle a hypothetical but common place situation.
That you are having difficulty answering such a simple question speaks volumes.

Originally posted by t020
There isn't a timer when it becomes safe,

Not strictly true. If you are prepared to wait several years (20+ thanks cyclone) after which, you or they, show no symptoms, then you're probably pretty safe.

Originally posted by t020
and you can't do a sexual history check on your partner with 100% certainty.

One or both of you can get tested if you either of you think there is any risk.

Originally posted by t020
People just reach a point when they feel they're ready, and if they intend on having children, then it is also necessary.

This thread is not about conception - it's about safe sex.


Originally posted by t020
Are you suggesting that couples shouldn't have children incase one is a big liar about their sexual history/affairs?
Or are you saying that prior to conceiving, one of the partners should propose an STD check before "removing the gloves"?

Neither. It may come as news to you but alot of people do have sex with the intention of NOT conceiving.
The issue being discussed is whether you use barrier contraception or not.

As with many things in life there are associated risks and peoples perceptions of those risks.
In the same way that I don't want to get cancer, I can acknowledge the risks and behave in a manner to reduce those risks, (eg don't smoke, exercise regularly, eat sensibly etc.) or I can choose to ignore those risks and take my chances.
So like a smoker who ignores all the medical evidence and the warnings on the packets you may choose ignore risks regarding HIV and unprotected sex or you may behave in a responsible manner to reduce the risk. It's your life.

Nomme

I would say that t20 is correct with this There isn't a timer when it becomes safe,
HIV can remain asymptomatic in some individuals indefinitely and in most upto 20 years!

Originally posted by Tony
There would be nothing to stop you continuing with safe sex would there?
If I ever want to have children, then yes.

There is always a time when people aren't aware that they are infected. That can be years BTW.
Yeah, of course there is, but the chance that I'm HIV positive is extremely unlikely. I'm not going to go for an HIV test before trying to have kids.

It's interesting to see the knowledge and attitude gap between those in the 30's and those in their teens / 20's. I think that it speaks volumes that there really is an education problem.
Maybe there is. Or maybe your education just sparked off paranoia.

Originally posted by Sidla
Maybe there is. Or maybe your education just sparked off paranoia. No Sidla, it's an education gap, not paranoia.

Let me remind you of some of the stat's:

By the end of 2003, an estimated 40 million people worldwide - 37 million adults and 2.5 million children younger than 15 years - were living with HIV/AIDS.

In Sub-Saharan Africa, about 8 percent of all adults in are HIV-infected.

An estimated 5 million new HIV infections occurred worldwide during 2003

In 2003, approximately 2,000 children under the age of 15 years, and 6,000 young people aged 15 to 24 years became infected with HIV every day.

In 2003 alone, HIV/AIDS-associated illnesses caused the deaths of approximately 3 million people worldwide.

What are the UK stats?

And even though HIV is on the up, I don't think inciting paranoia about it is the way forward.

I quite agree about not inciting paranioa! :nod: However, the risk of HIV/AIDS is there and easily prevented. Think of it as not playing Russian Roulette. :thumbsup:

But that's what I'm trying to say! I have no doubt that I am not HIV positive and if I met a girl who also had no doubt that she was not HIV positive why would I have any reason to disbelieve her?

Originally posted by Sidla
if I met a girl who also had no doubt that she was not HIV positive why would I have any reason to disbelieve her?
For the same reasons as t020.

Well that's very cynical in my view. I wouldn't expect to be disbelieved so I wouldn't want to disbelieve someone else. Especially in a trusting relationship.

Originally posted by Sidla
Well that's very cynical in my view. I wouldn't expect to be disbelieved so I wouldn't want to disbelieve someone else. Especially in a trusting relationship.
Understand that totally Sid... The only thing is that there's a difference between "knowing" and "KNOWING"...

I guess we are talking worse case scenarios here.. but in terms of the stats, what we've got to remember is that it all would have started small elsewhere in the world, like Africa... so if we stand a chance it's important to nip it in the bud...

Oh lets stop some things now.
T020 and his girl were both virgins so are not at risk and can shag to there hearts content without condoms. And hes trusts her not to be shagging anyone else and she does him too. Noone is lying or being accusing.
Sid is a virgin too but doesn't have a girlfriend, so he is not at risk. If he meets another virgin then his no risk continues. But if she has already had other partners unsafely then she is a risk. Get it?
Me i have had unprotected sex with 3 different people. My ex husband, who was a virgin, 1 other person that was stupid, and my present partner, we had tests b4 losing the johnnys. I have had sex with many (this sounds bad and T020 will pick up on it) people over 20 yrs but apart from these have been always been careful.

There is no paranoia, it is just a sensible way to live your life without risk of HIV other STD's (now called STI's) and preganacy.
I will go through this again because i know i have missed something. i was going to say.

Originally posted by Martin_s
Understand that totally Sid... The only thing is that there's a difference between "knowing" and "KNOWING"...

I guess we are talking worse case scenarios here.. but in terms of the stats, what we've got to remember is that it all would have started small elsewhere in the world, like Africa... so if we stand a chance it's important to nip it in the bud...

Is it nipped in the bud because of the amount of people that do practise safe sex? Is it not soo bad here because this is the case?

In Africa many men work away from there families for long periods of time, and have unprotected sex with the local prostitutes ,who are almost all infected. They then go back to there wives, give it to them and they have HIV positive children. This is what makes it so rife out there, there are so many people infected that it is just spreading like mad. And how do they know they have it? It is when they start getting ill.

Interesting article on the front page of the Metro (free paper) this morning. The smaller headline states that 'Europe sees the fastest spread of deadly virus'.

It is now speading faster in Europe than anywhere else in the world.
Cases in Britain have risen by 20% in the last year.
Campaingers said the figures should act as a wakeup call for the West, which is often regards Aids as an African problem.
The rise is due to drug user sharing needles and unsafe sex.

Is it not really something we in this counrty should be thinking about?

Here is an interesting link, i still need to read some of it, buit will come back once i have. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/talking_point/special/aids/default.stm

Originally posted by fuzzy
Interesting... Cases in Britain have risen by 20% in the last year.
Campaingers said the figures should act as a wakeup call for the West, which is often regards Aids as an African problem.
The rise is due to drug user sharing needles and unsafe sex.



http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/talking_point/special/aids/default.stm

not had time to read all 7 pages of this stuff, but the biggest increase has come from drug users and the influx of infected refugees coming in from poorer parts of europe.

Originally posted by venger
but the biggest increase has come from drug users and the influx of infected refugees coming in from poorer parts of europe.

....and your point is?

Sorry, but how the majority of 'other' people got infected isn't really the issue. The fact is that is HIV/AIDS is on the increase and pointing fingers or hand waving does not change that fact.

As I said earlier in this thread it has more to do with your perception of risk. It's your life.

Nomme

Erm..

Been stepping back from this thread for a bit and noticed that some people are definitely still ready to fight for their corner... That would be good except.. In the process it seems that some points are being repeated that and re-argued when a re-read would show that perhaps posts being argued against actually agreed with what the arguee has being saying all along.. albeit not directly...

In a nutshell I think the bases have all been covered.. the information is there and the upshot of it all seems to be.. "let's be careful and not take things for granted"...


I seriously would suggest a cool off, because it really is getting close to the point where the law of diminishing returns applies... feel free to pelt me with soft fruit if you wish.. :)

Originally posted by Tony
...... they are having too much fun getting sweaty jiggy jiggy while you slave in a sweaty lecture theatre.


Comedy Quote! Sorry guys :D

IMO There's too many people contributed to this post who, in a roundabout have said that they dont trust themselves or their partners.

For those of you in longterm relationships, I find it quite disheartening - no wonder the divorce rate is so high these days - nobody trusts each other.

I haven't said i don't trust my partner and i hope he does trust me, but yes it does show a lack of distrust, but the main one is the lack of taking care if they do stray. I do not think this a reponsible attitude, if you do stray at least be safe about it, for everyones sake.

Originally posted by Martin_s
This is a sort of split topic so apologies in advance but in terms of the testing side of things...

I would actively LIKE to get regularly tested but simply haven't because, as I understand it, I could actually drive up my health insurance by making a request of my GP.. forget the result, just by ASKING to be tested.. and automatically you are assumed to be taking risks..

Total insanity... and then add to that, the fact that if you give blood, etc.. your blood gets tested but you cannot be told if it turns out positive... Is it just me or is this completely insane!.. Your insurance company can, but you can't?!


Entirely possible that my information is out of date but its silliness like this that doesn't help people be more responsible...


.. and for the record, in serious, long term relationships the gloves often come off, so's to speak... I'm sure that goes for a lot of people...


I am a regular blood donor and would just like to say that yes, your information is a bit out of date, and anyone reading this could be put off giving blood. For conformation, I e-mailed the National Blood Service, who replied saying

"In short, all blood donated is tested for HIV, hepatitis B, hepatitis C and syphilis, and is grouped for its ABO and RhD type. Some donations undergo additional tests depending on the information you provide at the donation session.

We would unquestionably contact the donor as soon as possible if there were any positive test results."

But please remember that you should never give blood in order to get an HIV test, there are much better ways, as discussed!

Originally posted by coopster1974
IMO There's too many people contributed to this post who, in a roundabout have said that they dont trust themselves or their partners.

For those of you in longterm relationships, I find it quite disheartening - no wonder the divorce rate is so high these days - nobody trusts each other.

Yes, but when it comes to your health and potentially your life, it's not worth risking it. If you are in a long term relationship and love and trust each other you won't have a problem both getting tested. If you can talk about it and be honest from the start, maybe the divorce rate wouldn't be quite so high.

Originally posted by nomme
Not strictly true. If you are prepared to wait several years (20+ thanks cyclone) after which, you or they, show no symptoms, then you're probably pretty safe.

That's not strictly true either nomme.

You can't just wait 20 years and if they show no symptoms, assume they are safe.

They may have contracted HIV in year 19 of the relationship.

Originally posted by Jamie
That's not strictly true either nomme.

You can't just wait 20 years and if they show no symptoms, assume they are safe.


Which bit of the word 'probably' didn't you understand?

Nomme

Originally posted by nomme
Which bit of the word 'probably' didn't you understand?

Nomme

Ah !!

I do appologise nomme. I seem to have scanned over the 'probably' bit while reading your post !!.

My opinion on all this is that you're not ever going to be 100% safe, even if you're not having sex, and there is always some chance (however small) that you can contract HIV.

Another angle on all this, is that some people may be so gripped with fear (of catching STD's) that they just don't have sex, at all. That in itself is a very unhealthy state to be in.

Kinda like deciding not to get out of bed in the morning for fear of something bad happening ... so you just stay in bed ... just wasting your life away ... perfectly 'safe' ... and never taking *ANY* risks ...

Originally posted by Jamie
That's not strictly true either nomme.

You can't just wait 20 years and if they show no symptoms, assume they are safe.

They may have contracted HIV in year 19 of the relationship.

Surely if they contracted it after 19yrs then they had to have had unprotected sex at yr 19.
It doesn't lay dormant all that time. Know that you can not show symptoms for many years but if you are tested then you can be poitive it but not know.

To all those who think HIV tests are a viable option - GET REAL.
"Hey darling, want to go down the clap clinic because I think you've been sleeping around?" Come off it. And even if they did and it turned out positive, if you have that much distrust for the person then what's to say they won't **** someone else a few days after the test anyway? GET REAL!!

Originally posted by fuzzy
Surely if they contracted it after 19yrs then they had to have had unprotected sex at yr 19.
It doesn't lay dormant all that time. Know that you can not show symptoms for many years but if you are tested then you can be poitive it but not know.

I didn't mean it like that Fuzzy.

Say 'Mr A' and 'Miss B' got together in 1984 and we're now 20 years on, in 2004.

Just because neither of them are showing signs of HIV at this point, doesn't mean one of them doesn't have it.

One of them may have been unfaithful in 2003 (i.e. 19 years in to the relationship) and therefore only had the virus for 1 year (with no outward signs that they have it).

Originally posted by Jamie
I didn't mean it like that Fuzzy.

One of them may have been unfaithful in 2003 (i.e. 19 years in to the relationship) and therefore only had the virus for 1 year (with no outward signs that they have it).

That is what i said jamie.
It does not show for many years in some cases but 19 i think is being unrealistic.

T020 sorry but i think u have a immature view of a serious relationship where people have had previous relationships (you and your girlfriend may have both been virgins so no conciquenses) but as you get older and begin to enjoy sex it becomes a bigger part of your life and relationships. The only way to know you are really safe is to have yourself and partner tested for HIV or use condoms.

To have a trusting & hopefully long lasting relationship, you need to be truthfull, open and honest with each other. If this involves testing to be able to have unprotected sex with them them why not if you have nothing to hide.

As you mature, and have more sex you may actually find you enjoy yourself and want o be safe. Try it, it may suprise you!

But even if a couple does have a test and it gives the all clear theres no guarantee that one partner won't have an affair and bring an STD into the relationship is there? Would you propose fortnightly trips to the clinic to make sure? You have to draw a line somewhere and trust your partner, especially if you know they've not had any previous relationships anyway.

Originally posted by beckyaa
Yes, but when it comes to your health and potentially your life, it's not worth risking it. If you are in a long term relationship and love and trust each other you won't have a problem both getting tested. If you can talk about it and be honest from the start, maybe the divorce rate wouldn't be quite so high.

You talk about love and trust then in the next sentence talk about getting tested. Where is the trust there?

If my wife said to me that she had been faithful, end of story. I trust her with my life. Not only is she my wife she is my best friend.

My point is what kind of statement does it make? "I love you and trust you and I know we've been married for years but will you have an AIDS test for me?"

Kinda makes a mockery of it all.

Originally posted by t020
But even if a couple does have a test and it gives the all clear theres no guarantee that one partner won't have an affair and bring an STD into the relationship is there? Would you propose fortnightly trips to the clinic to make sure? You have to draw a line somewhere and trust your partner, especially if you know they've not had any previous relationships anyway.

Tests are all about being able to trust one another. You would not ask someone you didn't think you were going to have a long term relationship with, and use safe sex until being tested. So yes you have to trust them that they will not cheat. And if they did then you have to be honest.

And on the no pevious relationships i have agreed with you as previously discussed.

Originally posted by coopster1974
You talk about love and trust then in the next sentence talk about getting tested. Where is the trust there?

If my wife said to me that she had been faithful, end of story. I trust her with my life. Not only is she my wife she is my best friend.

My point is what kind of statement does it make? "I love you and trust you and I know we've been married for years but will you have an AIDS test for me?"

Kinda makes a mockery of it all.

Yep, I agree, but even if you trust your wife to be faithful, how do you know that she has not had previous partners who have been unfaithful to her??? Or the same for you - can you be sure that any previous partners have not infected you?
And ok, so this may not apply in your case (you were both virgins when you got married or whatever), but i have had relationships where I thought I could trust my partner and it turned out I shouldn't have for whatever reason.
Personally, I just don't think it makes sense not to both be tested, and you should BOTH want to for your own peace of mind.

i,ve been with my boyf for 7mnth and at first he used a condom then i went on the pill because i know he likes to [censored] no of us caught anything so i,ve been faithful and so has he...... i hope

And it comes back again, maybe one day people will take notice.

Can you gaurantee the next person you have sex with doesn't have anything. Read here (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/4037667.stm) and more here (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/4040457.stm) .
People will say the numbers are still low, but they are rising.

The whole HIV/AIDS "epademic" will NOT scare the masses...

I can see it getting much worse year on year.

We live in a world where no one wants to be held back or think about consequences.

Shame really.

:help: I've was having sex with my ex girl freind and we wasn't using protection and last night i found out she was still seeing what she told me was her ex boy friend.she even lied to him saying i was only her friend and nothing happened between us..which other YPS members know is not true after seeing us kiss and cuddle at meetings..so do you all recommend i should go see a doctor and have tests?

:( very worried Jon

I know someone who has been to the GUI for an HIV test on more than one occasion. It is anonymous, you just ring up and book in. You can even go early and pick up the results after work. I have even been myself once.

However they seem to be surprised, you'd want one if you haven't been an interveinous drug user, or been sleeping with someone from Africa.

I practice safe sex because I never get any. (hears violins in background!)

Originally posted by muddycoffee
I know someone who has been to the GUI for an HIV test on more than one occasion. It is anonymous, you just ring up and book in. You can even go early and pick up the results after work. I have even been myself once.

However they seem to be surprised, you'd want one if you haven't been an interveinous drug user, or been sleeping with someone from Africa.

I asked my doctor about this and it is anonymous. Even your doctor can't get the details from the GU clinic. I used to go every 6 months when I was playing the field, not I just go once a year, for a check-up. It's worth going for a check-up as they check you for loads of different things, including HIV (but you have to ask for the results of an HIV test).

Originally posted by Jon
:help: I've was having sex with my ex girl freind and we wasn't using protection and last night i found out she was still seeing what she told me was her ex boy friend.she even lied to him saying i was only her friend and nothing happened between us..which other YPS members know is not true after seeing us kiss and cuddle at meetings..so do you all recommend i should go see a doctor and have tests?

:( very worried Jon

Sorry to hear about your circumstances. Yes, you should go to the GU clinic and get tested for everything.

Just be really honest with them if you feel you can talk about it. If not, then you don't have to tell them anything about why you are there other than, "I think I may have put myself at risk".

They are really nice at the Royal Hallamshire clinic. I first went there when I discovered that an ex boyf of mine had apparently been sleeping with at least one other girl while I was seeing him. As we'd been together over two years, we weren't using condoms by the end of the relationship. So I thought I'd better get myself checked out. I went there again with my current partner before we decided to, er, "take the gloves off".

Originally posted by pussycat
Sorry to hear about your circumstances. Yes, you should go to the GU clinic and get tested for everything.

Just be really honest with them if you feel you can talk about it. If not, then you don't have to tell them anything about why you are there other than, "I think I may have put myself at risk".

They are really nice at the Royal Hallamshire clinic. I first went there when I discovered that an ex boyf of mine had apparently been sleeping with at least one other girl while I was seeing him. As we'd been together over two years, we weren't using condoms by the end of the relationship. So I thought I'd better get myself checked out. I went there again with my current partner before we decided to, er, "take the gloves off". Thanks pussycat nice to know thiers people out there really care :) i'm going to the Northern General Hospital tommorow to have a HIV test just to be on the safe side.I found out my ex g/f was sleeping around so i thought i'd better get checked out. My doctor also told me if i do have it i have to inform the police about her :mad:

Originally posted by Jon
My doctor also told me if i do have it i have to inform the police about her :mad:

Not sure about that bit, has she commited a crime ?

been with my partner 10 years and we have 2 beautiful kids , i am on the depo injection now and thats my praticing safe sex

Originally posted by nick2
Not sure about that bit, has she commited a crime ? Ain't there a law somewhere if someone has HIV and they know it and pass it on to other people?

Originally posted by Jon
Ain't there a law somewhere if someone has HIV and they know it and pass it on to other people?

Yes, if you intentionally have un-protected sex knowing you are infected you can be prosecuted for it

They just have to prove that you did know if you said you didnt etc..

I get to find out in 3 weeks time. i just hope the other poor sods she's done this too behind my back and her boyfriends back are reading this. Just becareful if you know which girl i'm talking about :suspect:

Originally posted by nez75
I practice safe sex because I never get any. (hears violins in background!) women are aright but theres nothing like the real thing ....have a ****.

Originally posted by Jon
Ain't there a law somewhere if someone has HIV and they know it and pass it on to other people?

I don't know if its a law but,

a) If she has got it she might not know
b) If you have got it it might not be from her (unless you have only slept with her)
c) What if you have got it from someone else and given it to her ?

Does this not all prove the point that if you had been using safe sex there would not be this problem??? :loopy: :loopy: