I've been trying to think of a polite or constructive way to say this but I can't seem to manage it... The issue I have is with the concept and NOT one related to individual persons...

The 18-30 social is in my honest opinion a great idea...


BUT...


I'm offended that my age is suddenly a barrier to meeting people through this forum... people with whom I may well and in many cases already do, have a common interest, or even a friendship with... I find it bizarre that I consider going to an event and then quite possibly get told I'm "not allowed" again on the basis of some limits that do not apply in either legal or other terms.

So, I'm going to register my dismay at this point... can someone with a cooler head explain why we shouldn't be saying things like "you can't come" when we're free to go to a public place and enjoy the company of others without fear of someone placing abstract barriers in our way...




I am (and I'd like to think I've proven this to those I've met) an inherently friendly, open minded person who has done his damndest not to judge on the basis of looks, colour, race or age... I think perhaps that's why I'm so frustrated. It goes so completely against the grain for me...


Am I alone in thinking this?

I dunno, it's not like it's "official" is it?

I did read the first post and it seemed like an attempt to get people to meet up who might not otherwise bother.

I don't know how to phrase this without offending at least someone, but "30+ people are boring" is NOT what I'm trying to say at all!! So try not to jump on me for this..

Don't take this the wrong way, but I'm gonna try to make time for this just because of what it is, then perhaps other meets unless I find out by going to that one that I actually hate you all! xP

But as a newbie round here, I wouldn't necessarily pay attention to a plain old "Forum meet" for fear that it would be a night sat round discussing public transport and graffiti issues all night.

I'm not saying that when you hit 30 that's what you do (At least I hope not, nearly there myself!), but it sort of has some appeal to it, and I'm probably not the only one who has thought that way about forum meets, just the only one who has the balls to say it =P

And I'd probably agree if it looked like becoming a regular thing and forming a clique in the community.

Why not have a "30+ meet, let's show the young 'uns how to really party" - then I can apply to join you at the end of the year :wink:

Without getting into an argument, I think its because us younger members of the forum are a bit scared of attending a meet somewhere foreign with a massive amount of people older than us.

Im not ageist, and Im assuming if all goes well we will join the "main" meet, but this is a less scary prospect (still v.scary though).

Also and I'm sorry to the owner of the classic rock bar I dont want to insult you persoanlly or anything but the CRB doesnt appeal as a venue for us young'uns.

Sorry!

No you aren't alone . I'm ambivalent about it too.

I can see why a meet aimed at younger forum members might be a good idea. I just can't help feeling concerned about the divisions an upper age limit will create in the group.

It's not about feeling left out so much as worrying what other splits / problems this might cause within the forum.

There must be a way of making the under 30s feel included without making everyone else feel excluded ??

:confused:

I think I'd find a group of younger people scarier than middle aged peops though. The age range restriction doesn't make me more likely to go, but the change of venue does - I only live about ten minutes away :)
I guess an '18-30' meet would appeal more to students 'trying to pull' (not me), but I reckon the more the merrier. Perhaps the older people could teach the young 'uns a thing or two :P

Originally posted by Squiggs
I did read the first post and it seemed like an attempt to get people to meet up who might not otherwise bother.

But as a newbie round here, I wouldn't necessarily pay attention to a plain old "Forum meet" for fear that it would be a night sat round discussing public transport and graffiti issues all night.
heh.. well ok.. that's honesty for you...

Yes I understand totally that this is a genuine attempt to encourage younger forum-ites to get out socially with each other too...

Thing is... I can totally relate to the "ohmigod, they're talking about train spotting" type thing... and the forum meets can be a little well "sedate"... which has it's time and place occassionally..

I enjoy those to a point BUT.. I also actively WANT to go out clubbing, to gigs, etc... but my point is that we're being told "forget it, you're not welcome"... purely on the basis of our age...

You have a choice to come to the CRB meet and choose not to... We're being told we don't have that choice.

Perhaps the middle ground on this would be to approach it from a "ok... we need ideas for a social event for us 18 to whatevers.." and limiting the discussion or attention to those who fit the profile...

Anyone who is into that event can then enjoy... leaving the rest who enjoy the train spotting chats to happily continue in that vein.. After all, it's unlikely anyone would try and gatecrash on the basis of 2nd childhood..


Why not have a "30+ meet, let's show the young 'uns how to really party" - then I can apply to join you at the end of the year :wink:
This is the thing... why should we... if the interests, the place, event, etc.. is something some of us older lot are genuinely interested in.. why should we segregate...



I think perhaps where it's getting confusing is not so much that everyone over 30 is screaming at the idea of going to gatecrasher or to a Westlife concert (to give 2 seriously bad examples!) but there's a small group within those over 30's who you'd barely even suspect of being "old"...

Bottom line... choice... Does that seem reasonable?

The middle ground approach you suggested would seem reasonable. Most of my friends are over 30, and thankfully not boring old fuddy-duddies. But it's nowt to do with me so at this point I'll withdraw and keep my nose out - I'll wait until I've got more posts here before I cause trouble! xDD

Oh and two minotr points, the 30+ meet was intended as a joke more than anything...and yes, the gatecrasher/westlife examples were pretty bad...I'd run a mile if anyone actually siggested either

I don't see anyone complaining about Club 18-30...

It's political correctness gone mad I tell ya, political correctness gone mad!! :evil:


:P

Originally posted by Sidla
I don't see anyone complaining about Club 18-30...
they allow people up to 35 Sid... I checked... I was that bugged.. :P


It's political correctness gone mad I tell ya, political correctness gone mad!! :evil:
Oooh don't you dare... *bashes sid with his walking stick*

I agree with you Martin, i think you were dealt with a little harshly. I guess you could of been told "the meet-up is aimed at 18-30 users, but all are welcome if they really want to come". That seems a much fairer aproach.

Chris.

PS. Before the spelling nazi's find me, i think i've spelt aproach wrong but i'm too tired to pick my dictionary up. My rebellion begins.

But seriously though, you don't get people under 60 moaning because they're not allowed to go to a pensioner's lunch do you?

I think chris_sleeps suggestions was good ... i.e.

This meet is aimed @ 18-30 but all welcome .. however .. this is what we're gonna do .. can u keep up !!

I don't mind at all that there is an 18-30 meet and the organisers are being strict about the age cut-off .. it is entirely up to them .. they're organising it .. and I hope they have fun !!

If I want to go out and do some social thing with people from here .. I will just start my own thread and organise it myself (either make it public or private).

I just don't think it's worth the energy fighting and battling with what other people are doing .. just let em get on with it and then start your own thing.

Martin:

If you wanna go out and do those things (clubbing or whatever) .. that's cool bro .. just start your own thread for another meet and make it inclusive. I would love to go the type of events that younger people go to .. so you can count me in.

Why not just start up a 30+ only meet ... on the same night in the same place !?

Originally posted by Jamie
Why not just start up a 30+ only meet ... on the same night in the same place !?
Because I don't want to be hanging out with just 30+... I want to be enjoying the company of people I get on with and who I share common interests with, irrespective of their age...

This thread is NOT just about that one thread.. it's about an artificial barrier that I don't agree with and that would limit the utility of this forum if allowed to go unchallenged to the point that it becomes a formally accepted social grouping...

Originally posted by Martin_s
Because I don't want to be hanging out with just 30+... I want to be enjoying the company of people I get on with and who I share common interests with, irrespective of their age...

Why not start a thread for a meet of those people and make it inclusive to all !?

Originally posted by Martin_s
This thread is NOT just about that one thread.. it's about an artificial barrier that I don't agree with and that would limit the utility of this forum if allowed to go unchallenged to the point that it becomes a formally accepted social grouping...

If people want to organise nights out for people of a certain age range only ... that is entirely up to them.

Of course ... they are discriminating on grounds of age and it could be argued that it is just like saying:

Girls only night out.
Lads only night out.
Meet for white people only.

Would you object to these !?

If people want to organise events for certain groups of people ... let them get on with it. I think the alternative is much worse (policing the forum and controlling what people can and cannot do).

I personally love inclusiveness and things that make people feel good and a part of something. I do not like excluding people. But I feel people have a right to do this and it is not for me to say what they can and cannot do.

Originally posted by Jamie
I think the alternative is much worse (policing the forum and controlling what people can and cannot do).

I know I was going to keep out of this, but guess my mouth just runs away with me sometimes xD

I've frequented, morerated and administrated more than a couple of forums, large and small. And in my experience, the more a forum is needlessly policed (as opposed to sensibly moderated), the more divisive this becomes....

If a meet like the 18-30 cannot be arranged and discussed in the open forum, it would all end up being done by private message etc..excluding even more people who never got to know about it.

And like I pointed out in the first place, it's not official, so in reality this thread has no useful purpose. It's being organised by somebody who chose to organise such a meet, not sheffieldforum.co.uk - and as such it's none of any of our business except the organisers.

So I'll shut up again then I guess :lol:

I agree with Squiggs on this.

The more you make rules and try to stop people from doing things ... the more they will do it anyway ... and all you will achieve is to drive it underground and create more seperation and cliques on the forum.

If you are being truely inclusive ... should you not also include people who organise non-inclusive events !?

Originally posted by Martin_s
Since when did we decide to exclude?

Since this was posted (http://www.sheffieldforum.co.uk/showthread.php?threadid=8531) around a month ago.

John I just spent ages looking for that thread to say ha ha this (http://www.sheffieldforum.co.uk/showthread.php?s=&threadid=8531&highlight=trippets+wine) is why.

But you went and got there first.... DOH:rant:

But as the organiser of that meet (evildrneil) posted :


BTW - I hope I havent got the wrong end of the stick here - but just to allay any fears - this is to be a 30-something friendly meet NOT a 30-somthing only meet!!!

Which actually supports what's been said about organising an under - 30s friendly meet rather than an exclusive one :)

what is going on> i leave the comp and come back to this?? well im afraid i cant believe it. just like gem said its to try n get the ppl that havent been to a meet to get together. im really disappointed and upset that this is such an issue. no its not up to 35 plus, martin you seem to be the only one with a problem with this, thought we were mates but obviously you go and do this, behind my back. well looks like i wont be coming on here half as much as i used to and im sorry for trying to be so pro active and include everyone in the meets.

Nothing further that I can say at this point makes any of this easier or says anything better than I've already said in this thread..


In the same way that my age doesn't define me, neither does this thread...

Originally posted by mimicraze
its to try n get the ppl that havent been to a meet to get together. im really disappointed and upset that this is such an issue.[/i]

Like I said, a good idea and I get wheree you're coming from

Originally posted by mimicraze well looks like i wont be coming on here half as much as i used to and im sorry for trying to be so pro active and include everyone in the meets.

hmmm....Orignally posted by methe more a forum is needlessly policed (as opposed to sensibly moderated), the more divisive this becomes....

See what I mean? Divisive. Look, if someone wants to organise a get together of whatever group, then so be it. It's really not worth kicking up a fuss about.

I said it's stupid, contagious
Can someone please save us
from Forum 101

Originally posted by Martin_s
I've been trying to think of a polite or constructive way to say this but I can't seem to manage it... The issue I have is with the concept and NOT one related to individual persons...

The 18-30 social is in my honest opinion a great idea...


BUT...


I'm offended that my age is suddenly a barrier to meeting people through this forum... people with whom I may well and in many cases already do, have a common interest, or even a friendship with... I find it bizarre that I consider going to an event and then quite possibly get told I'm "not allowed" again on the basis of some limits that do not apply in either legal or other terms.

So, I'm going to register my dismay at this point... can someone with a cooler head explain why we shouldn't be saying things like "you can't come" when we're free to go to a public place and enjoy the company of others without fear of someone placing abstract barriers in our way...




I am (and I'd like to think I've proven this to those I've met) an inherently friendly, open minded person who has done his damndest not to judge on the basis of looks, colour, race or age... I think perhaps that's why I'm so frustrated. It goes so completely against the grain for me...


Am I alone in thinking this?


You seriouslly need to lighten up,this has got to be one of the worst threads EVAR!!!
So what if the younger forum member want to meet up,i didn't see anyone complaining about the over 30's meet at Trippets the other week,so why should this be any different. This really has got to be one of the most stupid threads i've ever seen, someone tried to do something to improve the forum by getting people to meet up and this is what happens,i think its pretty crappy to say the least.
I can't wait till i turn 30 and turn into a miserabe git.

Originally posted by mr craig

I can't wait till i turn 30 and turn into a miserabe git.

"I don't beliiieeeeevvvee it."

Ah well, I was wrong when I said this thread served no purpose. Seems it's served the purpose of driving one member away :(

oh well, shame on me for thinking this place was any different to others on the internet. Maybe time to move on again

Originally posted by Martin_s
In the same way that my age doesn't define me, neither does this thread...

Of course it doens't define you Martin, and I am sure anyone who's met you knows you're a fine chap.

Originally posted by
mimicraze
well looks like i wont be coming on here half as much as i used to and im sorry for trying to be so pro active and include everyone in the meets.

Oh no no no mimicraze ... this place is way too addictive ... you can't get away that easy !!!

But if you do manage it ... good luck ... and do let me know how you managed to escape this black hole that is 'Sheffield Forum' (sorry Geoff) ...

I agree with you wholeheartedly Martin_S...
If I wanted to come, I wouldn't be allowed because I'm not old enough... Not fair! I contribute to this forum therefore I should be allowed to meet with the rest of you!!!

Well, if people can't say what they like because they are scared they might drive someone away then not much point in having a forum is there! And if people are going to get in a strop and leave the forum over a post then I for one won't miss them!
Sorry but get a grip!

has this been blown all out of proportion or what?
all what happened - unless i have missed something is that a meet was organised for people aged 18 to 30- so what is the problem- personally i dont see a problem- i dont see any under hand thing to leave or exclude any one from going- so i think if people are getting upset about it - its them with the problem and no one else

As someone only a bit over 30 (33 to be exact) I feel the upperage limit has been placed a bit too low. 30 is hardly middle aged. Still if people want to arrange meeting and specify who can and cannot come I suppose that is up to them. Personally I could suggest a non-smoking meeting as I don't like passive smoking (incase you didn't know!). I'm not sure everyone would find it too acceptable though.

One other point; it may be me just being a little overcausious but I'm not quite sure about arranging meet ups with people met on-line in any form. Still, i could well be wrong about that.

Anyway, I hope those who go along have a good time.

WAY OVER THE TOP MARTIN, WAY OVER.

Its only a meet after all, and there was one for the dare i say it "older" members at Trippets. All people should turn up... they cant (and i dont think will!) ignore you and as for banning you, how can they?, its in a public place.

I am sure the term 18-30 means what people are going to get up to, big **** up and clubbing. The theme of the evening, thats all. That does not mean that people over the age of 30 do no do this and that everyone under 30 does.

Everyone get off here (your comp) go down the local or the theatre or the nightclub or meet up!, whatever and chill out and have a LAUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!! :) :) :) :) :)

Originally posted by Martin_s
I've been trying to think of a polite or constructive way to say this but I can't seem to manage it... The issue I have is with the concept and NOT one related to individual persons...

The 18-30 social is in my honest opinion a great idea...


BUT...


I'm offended that my age is suddenly a barrier to meeting people through this forum... people with whom I may well and in many cases already do, have a common interest, or even a friendship with... I find it bizarre that I consider going to an event and then quite possibly get told I'm "not allowed" again on the basis of some limits that do not apply in either legal or other terms.

So, I'm going to register my dismay at this point... can someone with a cooler head explain why we shouldn't be saying things like "you can't come" when we're free to go to a public place and enjoy the company of others without fear of someone placing abstract barriers in our way...




I am (and I'd like to think I've proven this to those I've met) an inherently friendly, open minded person who has done his damndest not to judge on the basis of looks, colour, race or age... I think perhaps that's why I'm so frustrated. It goes so completely against the grain for me...


Am I alone in thinking this?



After just re reading the 18-30 meet post i think (and I dont mean to sound nasty) you are very paranoid martin. Relax its only a meet and as stated in my above posts I cant see people being excluded.

If I'm alowed to throw my 2 peneth into the mix.
I think Martin in his post was a little extreme in thinking he couldn't come. Again I dont personally think that Mimi would say you couldn't come just because you've one foot in the grave Martin.

I think mimi's pro active approach was merely to get some social interaction with people closer to her own age who may have the same tastes, and the same ideas. I sometimes feel that!

It's natural. I'm sure you do too martin.... prefer the company of more mature laid back forumer's sometimes.
It's not to say you can't come, it's merely just saying that the 'target' audience will be of an 18 - 30 criteria.

Similar with Caprice, she's 17... so really it doesn't apply to her saying she can't come... as she's more of that age, however we'd need to make sure the venue allowed minors ;)

However I think mimi may have taken it too personally by thinking that it was a direct attack from Martin and saying she wont be around. It would be a real shame if she stopped coming on the boards because of one little conflict of opinion.

At the end of the day the forum is a community where age doesn't matter. Cos unless you post the details in your profile, we'd never know for sure. However sometimes it can be seen that taste vary depending on age. This is just a fact of life.
I don't think the majority of under 30's (me included in that) would be at all bothered if you fogies ( ;) ) decided to have an over 30's meet.

So to cap off my ramblings and in the words of one great man.
''Let it be. let it be, let it be, oh let it be,
whisper words of wisdom... let it be":thumbsup:

With an IQ of 125 I'm gutted I can't join Mensa, but such is life...

You could be onto something... how about a meet for people with an IQ of 126 or over? :D

Okay, I'll get my coat...

Originally posted by caprice
I agree with you wholeheartedly Martin_S...
If I wanted to come, I wouldn't be allowed because I'm not old enough... Not fair! I contribute to this forum therefore I should be allowed to meet with the rest of you!!!

got to agree with ya there... but so far there has been meets for older members, and when they do make one for younger members, we are too young!! ive been told that mimi has already pretty much left the forum so im gonna shut up now anyways cause there aint really a need for all this but just thought i would express this side of the age boundary a little bit more. X X X

As per my previous post I think you're all taking this age boundary thing a little too far.

If you think it's unfair... have an under 18's meet.
Or have a 16-30 meet of your own.
Or just come along to the meets where the thread hasn't been started as Thirtysomethings or 18-30.

Quit complaining everyone... lifes too short and you're all just being silly with this whole age issue.

Mimicraze as far as I can tell was just trying to organise something for people. Yet Martin and the rest of you complainers have just decided to pull the idea to pieces with your whining and complaining.

Well tough!

If you don't like it, start your own!

I agree with what DaBouncer just said, if you dont like it, then dont go. Arrange something yourself. However, I also dont think Mimicraze has done herself any favours by spitting the dummy and deciding to leave just cos an idea of hers got some criticism. Thats life, get on with it. No matter how good any idea you have may sound to you, therell always be someone who disagrees. The trick is to let them complain and just get on with it regardless. If everyone whod ever had an idea shot down reacted like that, the world would be a very different place.

On a more general but related point I think people can get far too hung up about age.

I'm 33 and I like pretty girls. It really annoys me when I get told that I shouldn't be interested in girls who are younger than me. If a girl is nice, both in terms of looks and personality (however you define either of them) then I don't care too much what age she is (as long as she's over 16 obviously). Why shouldn't men like younger girls, or women younger men for that matter. It is surely a matter for the two people concerned and not for others to judge.

well i'm over 30 and never had a girlfriend older than 23!!! erm all older than 20 mind!! well, except when i was 20 myself etc so slim don't worry fella :thumbsup: (may also be worth pointing out that iv'e not had a relationship for ages!) anyhow my point is;
i think i just have a young outlook on life plus going back to uni as a mature stooodent and it helps that i look a lot younger than my age - i actually got asked to do a photoshoot for more! magazine when i was 30 and that's for teenage girls!!!but you're right if two people click they click - end of, you just can't generalise

maybe it would have been better billed as the "younger forum members meeting" that way everyone gets to decide for themselves whether they are "young" or not.

Being a member of other groups/forums,my wife and i have attended meets all over the country,and we have had great weekends everytime. Half the fun is not knowing whose going to be there.

weve met with students,families,old,young,age has never been a problem,the one thing that binds us all together is the common interest we all have, ie we are members of the same group/forum.


maybe the original post was unfortunately worded,but i would have thought a meet should be a meet of all members that want to come. trying to exclude(or appear to exclude) a certain catagory of member only leads to this sort of reaction from those feeling left out.

it depends on if you want members to relate to each other and feel part of something or just be an online discussion shop with inner cliques
just a thought

:D :D

ps im 41 cant dance to save my life but still know how to have a good time:thumbsup:

i have the opposite problem with the 18-30 s meeting, i 17, so it mans i cant go!

i believe it was pointed out that 18 was not a hard limit early on. But from the sounds of it 30 was.
And the entire point was to encourage a demographic that has been underrepresented at the normal meets. So just having another 'open to all' meeting wouldn't have achieved that.

no it was just to encourage that age group to turn up, the boundaries were never strict, and if they seemed it i was only trying to have a laugh. ppl shudnt be so obsessed with how old they are getting!

Hi all

I'm new to this so don't bash me for saying this, but surely placing an age limit on this is a bit daft? If the idea is to get a load of likeminded people together then surely it's the venue and kind of night out which will determine who turns up.

If you have a night out starting at a load of bars and finishing in a club somewhere you'll get a whole load of different people turning up than you would say to a quiet night at a pub quiz?

So just let whoever wants to go -go!

Just a thought.. and I could be wrong - I frequently am...!

:)

OMG I'm over 30 AND an AOL user. Not got much going for me at all have I :o

hmm...still going on then.

Thread title "since when did "we" decide to exclude?"

Who is this "we"? It's not an official sheffieldforum.co.uk event. If somebody wants to organise a "31 year olds meet" or a "25 year old's meet" It's surely up to them? So why is it even up for debate?

Either that or a rule is implemented stating that no-one can use the forum to organise any kind of independant gathering - then who loses? - the forum users of course.

But this could go round in circles, peoples knickers getting in even more of a twist with every rotation. The argument still remains unresolved, for the reason that it is invalid.

If the staff of the forum had organised this event, then sure, complaints would be legitimate. But the forum staff haven't organised it. So what gives anyone the right to make any kind of demands? And to cause distress to anyon who organises such an event?

Originally posted by Squiggs
But this could go round in circles, peoples knickers getting in even more of a twist with every rotation. The argument still remains unresolved,
Given that I started this thread can I suggest that...

a) all opinions have been aired so if anyone's going to learn anything from this hopefully they have done

b) it really is going round in circles and serves no constructive purpose anymore to keep repeating the same arguements again and again.

So, at this point I'm happy to just let it die a death as I've been expecting it to do for the past few days... All those in favour, just leave it at that... mod lock please?

Have locked upon request of author and for the reasons stated.

However - if you feel strongly that it should be re-opened then please PM me.

:)