5yr old Party RSVPs - should I chase?

Hi all,

This is the first year I have tried to organise a big-ish party, my 5 year old is having a party in a hall.

Of the 20-odd invites sent to his classmates, I have received 5 replies, and have his word that 3 more are coming.

I now don't know if I am catering for 15 or 35... and am freaking out a bit! trying to keep it cheap and not over-buy plates / cups / party bag stuff / cakes etc

Another parent told me hardly anyone replied to hers but nearly everyone turned up, some with siblings.

What are your experiences / advice?

Do I assume everyone is coming and try and re-use leftover paper plates and cups and jiggle the tables round so it doesn't look sparse if few turn up, or is it OK to ask the teacher to chase parents down for an answer / put a gentle reminder in their school bags... The teacher didn't seem interested when I asked her. As he is in after school club as I work I don't get to meet the parents at the school gates

Thanks in advance for any suggestions or stories.

This is not an uncommon scenario.

When you approach the parents you will get one of three responses.

a) What invitation

b) Oh I forgot!

c) What? You wanted a reply. We thought we could just turn up.

It is INFURIATING! This happened to me on my son's 5th birthday, too. I was so cross, that I went up to some parents and said, (the day before the party),

'Oh, it's such a shame '*John' isn't coming tomorrow'.

'He is coming'.

'Oh, I thought that, seeing as though you did not reply to the invitation, he was not able to come, and, therefore, I have not catered for him'.

I did that with people who I did not particular wish to come, as numbers were excessive to say the least. However, if you are not as mean as me, I would just march up the parents and ask them outright. 'I have not had a response to the invitation. I take it you're not coming'

This happens to so many people. It's just so rude!!!!!

I totally agree its infuriating and I also think verging on rude. Its so hard when you don't go to school often enough to see or ask parents. The teacher will have nothing to do with it as its not a school activity or in schools interest to get involved. If I was in your situation I would probably send a polite reminder leave a mobile number for a text reply as that seems to be the norm at our school.

My story.... I asked a mother if her son was coming to my childs party her reply was well we were going to see what the weather was like and decide on the morning!! I told her there and then I will put you down as a NO then seeing as I have to confirm numbers and pay for children who don't turn up. The cheeky c-- had the cheek to turn up too,

I was so angry, but how could I turn that little boy away from a party.

i would chase the parents up yourself if you can, its not really the teachers job to do it

My story.... I asked a mother if her son was coming to my childs party her reply was well we were going to see what the weather was like and decide on the morning!!

Oh...my...God! Outrageous. What the hell is with these people??????

Thanks guys.

I agree it is pretty rude, but am strangely heartened to know it is common practice!

I'm going to try and get to school tonight to chase parents, but as I don't get to go often I don't know any of them or who their kids are so it could be a bit difficult, but my sanity needs a few more confirmations, either way!

What a shame! We are very familliar with parents not RSVPing and it does make it very hard when you are wanting to be organised.

From our experience, best to give out another gentle nudge if you can - perhaps a small printed slip saying 'Just checking if your son/daughter is coming to the party' with a tick yes/no and send them with your little one to give out in class and collect again.

Other than that, it's best to prepare for the maximum number coming as you wouldn't want to disappoint anybody. Better to have left overs and spare party bags than have an upset child. And cold sausage rolls and such make good lunchbox fillers the next day!

Best of luck, we hope the party goes really well!

Team Sparkles